Kya & Xavier: It's Always Been You (Life As We Know It Book 1) (3 page)

“Sit this over there.” Xavier said and handed me the half
empty soda bottle that he was holding.

“Toni is going to be pissed that you're drinking her Dr.
Pepper.”

“I can handle Toni.”

“You sure about that?” I said and laughed. “That’s a whole
lot of handling.”
 
The two of them had a
sort of love hate relationship and always had going all the way back to middle
school. Partly due to the fact that she had to be my shoulder to cry on every
time he had let me down, which had been plentiful over the years but mostly because
they were so much alike. Stubborn and arrogant.

“100 percent sure. She can’t get with me. Is she coming back
tonight?”

“I doubt it, she’s with Ant.” I stretched my body completely
out, turned on my side and then tugged on the covers because Xavier was laying
on top of them. He lifted his body enough for me to pull my comforter from
under him up over me and then rested his weight on his side again. I backed
into him so he placed his arm over my side and rested his forearm on my hip
with his hand on my thigh.

A few minutes later he shook his head having a delayed
reaction to my comment about where Toni was, “She still with that punk?”

He shook his head again but this time he didn’t say anything
else, he didn’t have to. I already knew how he felt about Ant. Xavier wouldn’t
even acknowledge him when he was around. He was funny like that. If he didn’t
care for you trust me you would definitely know it.

 
“I've got class at
eight.” He knew my schedule better than I did. That was just my way of letting
him know that he was on his own for the rest of the night although I was sure
he already knew anyway. Lately I had a bad habit of falling asleep early. College
was kicking my butt ten times over so unlike him, I rarely ever pulled
all-nighters. I just didn’t have it in me.

“You going to sleep on me?”

“Unfortunately I don't have a coach to fix my schedule for
me.” I gently elbowed Xavier in the ribs and then snuggled closer to him.

“Everybody can't have that baller’s life.”

“Exactly! Which is why I'm going to sleep.”

“Well I guess it's just you and me old friend.” He said
referring to the fact that I was leaving him up alone with the TV as his only entertainment.

“Night Zay.”

He leaned over and kissed the side of my face, “Night Ky.”

Xavier Lee

As usual Kya went to sleep on me so I was up by myself
watching TV. I was used to it though because she rarely ever stayed up late
unless I made her so it was all good. I had been spending a lot of time with
her lately. Partly because I was hiding from Tori which was easier than just
telling her I was done but mostly because I missed being around Ky. Things were
just easy with us and I could just chill and be myself around her.

Most of the girls I dealt with were more interested in number
twenty two. I could be the biggest asshole to them and they would accept it as
long as on game day they felt like they could be seen with or place some kind
of claim to number twenty two. Xavier didn’t exist at that point, it was all
about the hype for them. Ky didn’t care about any of that and in fact she hated
the attention. All she ever wanted or cared about was me.

Ky was always there for me even when I wasn’t really there
for her.
Well not the way she needed me
to be.
She had been there through the worst parts of my life and never once
judged me.
 
And when I say my worst I
mean absolute worst. She knew all my demons and somehow still managed to care
about me despite them. I suppose knowing that made it too easy for me do what I
wanted whenever I wanted because she was always there. That was something that
I could always count on so I took advantage of it. Not really because I wanted
to hurt her but basically because it was easy to do.

Girl after girl, mistake after mistake she always let me back
in and as terrible as it sounded her loyalty is what gave me a free pass to not
be the guy that I knew she deserved. I hated myself for that sometimes because
it made me realize that I was more like Johnny than I cared to admit. Well in
some ways that is, because there were lines that I refused to cross.
I had never disrespected Ky the way that Johnny
disrespected women by putting his hands on them. That is one promise that I
made to myself and I would never break it, ever!

I never wanted to be anything like Johnny which is one of the
major reasons why I stopped smoking and drinking. I would never forget the
night that Ky and I were arguing because she had showed up to a party where I
wasn't expecting her to be. I had lied about going but she knew me well enough
to come looking for me anyway. Of course she found me, drunk laid up in a bedroom
with some girl I barely knew. The last thing I remember was her screaming at me,
“You are just like the one person you claim to hate the most. Your father!” She
stormed off in tears with me too high and drunk to do anything about it. That
was the last time I ever got that wasted. To this day I still hear her in my
head every time I get to the point where I'm anywhere near crossing that line
again. I refuse to be a drunk, cheating bastard like my Johnny
. So far I have the drunk part under control
but the cheating, not so much. I’m a work in progress but since I’m technically
single I guess I get a pass for that one.

Johnny was also the main reason why I never got things right
with Kya. I have never told her that because I could guarantee that she would
feel like it was an excuse. I refused to do to her what he did to my mother so
instead of so called cheating, I just kept things open with us and as stupid as
it sounded it made perfect sense to me. I'm sure Kya thought I just couldn't
settle down and she was partially right but honestly I just didn't want to
break her the way Johnny broke my mother.
What I do know is
that I had hurt Ky more than enough by making promises that I couldn't or
rather didn't try hard enough to keep but lately the more girls that I was with
the more I realized that they weren’t Ky.

Most of them were
so desperate. They would literally throw themselves at me just because I was an
athlete which was funny to me because I rarely ever claimed any of them. I
didn’t have to put any effort into finding girls to kick it with because the approached
me and aggressively like there was a role reversal going on. They were always
calling, texting, showing up at my dorm, buying me things and for what?
Bragging rights I guess because relationships were out of the question with me
and they didn’t seem to care. I can’t count the number of times that I had been
stuck in the middle of females hating on each other because I had been with one
or both of them. The most insane thing about it was that I could have sex with
just about any girl I wanted to and as arrogant as that sounded it was true but
I was starting to realize that wasn't enough anymore.

That was the main
reason why I was keeping my distance from Tori. She was definitely just sex and
I was over it. I laughed every time Ky got mad and brought her up because Tori
was so far from being a threat to Ky that it was incredibly funny. In fact none
of the girls that I ever messed with were ever really a threat to Ky but she
never seemed to believe that. Honestly all she ever really had to do was
threaten to remove herself from my life, actually mean it and I would probably
act like I had some sense when it came to us.

Tori on the other
hand was getting clingy, building something with us that wasn't there and would
never be there. A lot of it was my fault because I allowed her to mistake consistency
for a relationship so sadly I had to admit my role in her delusional state. It
was easier for me to let her believe that we were something that we weren’t
instead of just telling her that all she would ever be to me was just sex. I
wasn’t taking all the blame though because from day one I made it clear to her
that I didn’t do relationships.
Well not
with her anyway
. In fact I was straight up with her by telling her that I
wasn't the dating kind of guy and that she would have to take it or leave it
with how things were. The crazy thing about it though was in her mind that translated
to
try harder
.

That was the
difference between guys and girls. Girls got emotionally connected too easily.
I just didn't have it in me to tell her that she would never be to me what Kya
was to me no matter how many times she opened her legs. I had kicked it with my
share of females but Ky was the only one I ever really dated and that wasn’t
about to change anytime soon. I wasn’t a total ass about it but I also wasn’t a
perfect gentleman either. If Tori was willing to take what I was offering then
that was on her not me. My philosophy with situations like that was to keep my
distance until they eventually gave up and moved on. I know that sounded harsh
but it was the truth and that’s just how it was with me when it came to stuff
like that.
Why commit when you're not sure if you really can
.

I noticed my phone
lighting up so I slid my body from behind Ky, scooted to the foot of her bed
and stood up. When I picked up my phone I glanced over at her to make sure that
she was still asleep before I answered. I wasn’t really stressing though
because she could sleep through a small earth quake and wake up like nothing
had ever happened.

“Sup?” I whispered.
It was Tamara calling me. A girl from my school that I occasionally kicked it
with. She was a senior and had her own place but it had been a minute since I
had seen or talked to her. She had a boyfriend now so she would disappear for
months at a time and then just randomly call out to blue looking for a hook up.
I was always cool with that since I was never really hurting for attention.
Girls were always so eager to get with me that I always had somebody to call if
I wanted chill.

“What’s up Zay, you
busy?”
Translation I’m horny.

“Yeah, I’m tied up
right now.” I glanced at Kya again and then slowly twisted the door knob to her
bathroom and quietly pushed it open.

“Awe you sure you
can’t come through, not even for a minute?”

Yeah your minutes are more like hours.
Not that I was complaining though because it was
always worth it.

“Nah I’m chilling
tonight.” The more I thought about how she rolled I was tempted but then I
thought about Ky.

“I see how it is, you’re
just gonna to leave me hanging.”

Damn, please don’t make me chose
. “You don’t need me. I know you, you’ve got ‘em
lined up begging for attention.”

I stuck my head out
the door to check on Ky again.

“They’re not you
though.” Her voice was soft and whiny.

“You’ll be fine.”

“I guess I’ll have
to be.” She sounded like a pouty little kid.

I laughed, “I’ve
gotta go Mara.”

“So am I gonna see
you soon?”

“I don’t know,
we’ll see.”

“Dang Zay, she must
be the truth.” She said and then laughed.

“It’s nothing like
that.” I lied.

“Mmhmm.”

“There you go, I’m
for real though.” I laughed again, she had read me perfectly but I wasn’t going
to admit it.

“Well you know how
to find me.”

“Indeed.”

“Alright baby,
hopefully you don’t stay away too long.”

I ended the call
and quietly stepped out of the bathroom. Kya was still sleep. Thank goodness! I
placed my phone face down on her desk, snuck back into bed and stretched out on
my back with my arms folded behind my head. The breeze from the fan sent a
chill through me because the temperature outside dropped so I snatched the
covers away from the wall and pulled them over me. As soon as my body was still
Kya snuggled close to me, placed her head on my chest and then moved her leg
across my thigh. The warmth from her body wiped away the chill that hit me from
the breeze of the ceiling fan. Her world was perfect just like this and it
seemed so easy but everything in me was fighting against it. “Get it together
Xavier.” I whispered,
or one day she'll
be gone.

Chapter 2

Kya Renee

 
It was close to 7:30
and I had been up for almost two hours so that I could study for my Chemistry
test before class and it was almost time for me to leave. Xavier was still
asleep and I used my phone as an alarm clock so I needed to figure out how to
get him up after I left for class since Toni wasn't home. I knew from
experience that he would sleep all day if no one bothered him especially since
he was usually up all night. I needed to set an alarm for him so that he
wouldn’t miss his 11 o’clock class.
It
must be nice.
I mumbled to myself annoyed by the fact that his coach let
the team pick their schedules and made sure they got all of the classes they
requested. I grabbed the dry erase marker that was connected to the board above
my dresser and wrote him a note:

Sorry for going through your phone but I set your alarm so
that you wouldn't miss class.

 
Lock my door when you
leave and I'll call you later to let you know about the game.

I picked up his phone.
Password.
Crap!
I typed my birthday in an attempt to unlock it and then smiled at the
fact that he still hadn't changed it.
 
I
was sure he only used it because none of his new tricks would know to my
birthday! He had several texts from girls that I didn’t know. Being my typical
nosy self, I opened a few of the conversations and scrolled through them. They
were exactly what I expected low self-esteemed girls offering up their goods
through text with no expectation of commitment. Xavier was definitely not
lacking in the looks department and with a body like his coupled with being a
star athlete he had more than his share of groupies who were willing to do any
and everything he wanted them too. I knew it and I hated it but there was
nothing that I could do about it.

There were also seven missed calls and several unread text
from Tori. I was even more tempted to read those but I didn't want to give him
the satisfaction of knowing that I was creeping so instead I set his alarm for
9:45 and 10:00. I figured that would give him plenty of time to get to is 11:00
o'clock class since it would only take him about fifteen minutes to drive back
to his campus.

I overloaded my book bag with all my binders and books since
this was my busy day with three classes back to back.
 
I usually tried to avoid wasting gas by having
to drive back to the dorms in between classes. I was on a slim budget with my
monthly allowance from my parents and a few tutoring gigs every now and then.

When I was done I stood up and glanced at Xavier for a minute
wondering how different my life might be if I had never met him. The muscles in
his shoulder and back flexed as he balled up my pillow and pulled it closer to
his face after I turned off the main light. Every inch of his body was perfect.
Perfect!
I wondered if there would be
a different guy laying in my bed or none at all. Would I be in a relationship
with someone who was man enough to make me and only me his world?

I couldn't remember a time when it wasn’t just me and Xavier.
I knew he cared but he just couldn’t do right to save his life. There was
always some girl coming between us and it killed me every time a new one surfaced.
I was always his number one but the problem was that there was always a number
two or three or four and that's the part that I couldn't handle so freshman
year of college I made the choice to finally let go.

Wow Ky, that really worked out for
you didn’t it.
I
told him I wanted out before we ending up hating each other to the point where
we couldn’t recover from it so here we are. It didn’t take long for the random
girls to enter the picture which wasn't a surprise to me because Xavier didn't
know how to be alone.

I tried to be the best friend to him that I knew how to be.
The trouble with that was all I ever knew how to be for him was a girlfriend so
our friendship often lead patterns of random sex with emotional entanglement
that always left me confused about where I fit into his life.

I picked up my phone, car keys, book bag and left my dorm
room. I grabbed a bottle of orange juice out of the refrigerator and left for
class.

-----

“What’s good boo?” Toni all but yelled as she approached me.

I looked up from my Chemistry notes to see my best friend and
roommate standing over me. I had been sitting in the lounge area of the café
for at least an hour studying for my test.

“What's up with you?” I asked, shut my spiral notebook and
checked her out. She was decked out as always in a navy sweater, printed
leggings and dark chocolate combat boots. Her shoulder length auburn weave was
clipped loosely behind her head falling in what I figured was a purposely
creating messy bun. I was dressed the complete opposite of trendy in black
leggings, a gray hoodie and gray converse. College had totally wiped out my
ability to care about being fashionable. Comfort was now my only priority when
I came to clothes these days.

“I saw your boy this morning when I got back.” Toni flopped
down onto the oversized burgundy vinyl sofa next to me and crossed her legs so
that she could adjust the thick knitted socks that were peeking out of her
chocolate leather boots.

“Don't start Tee.” I said.

“Start what? I'm just telling you I saw your boy.” She said
with a smirk.

“It’s not what you said, it's what you didn't say.” I cut my
eyes at Toni.

“You're gown boo, I can't tell you anything.” She said before
she pulled her phone out of her purse and began typing.
 
She leaned in towards me and held her phone
up to take a picture.

“Pump ya breaks with all that.” I said and ducked out of her
cameras view.

“Chill it's just a Snapchat to Ant.” She said so I relaxed
and threw up a peace sign while Toni snapped a picture and the typed something.

“Sooooo, how did it go last night?” She asked slowly dragging
the words out.

“Just friends Tee, that’s it!”

“With benefits, girl don't forget our walls are thin.”

“Well you didn’t miss anything last night because like I said
no more benefits.

“I won't hold you to that because we both know better,
whether you choose to admit it or not.”

“Anyway. You have plans later?” I asked not wanting to get
into a debate about my situation with Xavier.

“Nah what's up?”

“I was thinking about going to Zay’s game tonight.”

“When was the last time you went to one of his games? Mmhmm
just friends right?” Toni laughed, “Is he getting us in ‘cause I’m not paying.”

“Keep it up and I'll just go by myself.” I said
sarcastically.

“Uh no boo, I'm not letting you go over there without me so
Tori and here clones can jump you. Besides, I think it’s about time for me and
number twelve to officially meet.” I had forgotten all about the mild obsession
that she had formed with one of Zay’s teammates. This I might add was solely
based on his picture printed on a game program that Zay had left in my car.
Yep never met and she was in lust
.

“Excuse me, don't you have a situation?” I asked.

“Hey everybody needs an ace in the hole.” Toni flashed me an
evil grin.

“I can't with you.” I said and laughed “I'm heading back to
the dorms to try and finish this paper for Psychology or I won't be going
anywhere tonight.”

“At least you're done for today. I have two more classes.”
She frowned.

“I told you to take early classes. That's your fault.”

“Whatever, everybody is not like you up at the crack of dawn
and for the record, I know you’re going to take a nap and not finish your
paper.”

“Say what you want but I'm done with classes for today.”

“You suck.” She pouted.

“You love me.”

“Barely.” Toni stood up and adjusted sweater around her hips,
picked up her binder, oversized purse and shoved her phone back in it.

“Later boo.”

I threw up a peace sign as Toni disappeared into the crowd of
students that were in the cafeteria lounge. A few minutes later I grabbed my overstuffed
book bag and pulled it on to my back. It was so heavy that I actually stumbled
a little but I managed to make my way out of the café, through the parking lot
to my car. When I pulled up at the dorm there were a group of guys standing
outside that I didn’t recognize but they were standing with two girls that
lived on my floor.
 
I didn’t really care
for either one of them so when I reached the door I flashed a fake smile and a
half ass wave but before I could grab the door one of the guys stepped back and
pulled it opened for me forcing me to have to say something.

“Preciate it.” I mumbled.

“You’re welcome beautiful.”

I didn’t even turn to look at him I just kept going. I could
feel all eyes on me as I made my way into the lobby and then swiped my ID card
to open the door to our hall. It was quite because almost everyone had
afternoon classes which I loved. I could usually study or take a nap without
anyone bothering me. Our room was kind of in the middle of the corridor thank
goodness because I didn’t think I would make it much farther with my fifty
pound book bag. After I reached our room I unlocked the main door, stepped
inside, slide my book bag off my back and dropped it on the sofa. I could smell
the coffee that Toni made before she left for class because the half empty cup
was sitting in the sink. I poured it out and rinsed the cup out before I
unlocked my bedroom door.

Xavier was gone so apparently the alarms that I set got him
up but I had no clue if he made it to class. It wouldn’t have surprised me if
he went straight to his dorm and went back to sleep. I looked around my room as
if searching for signs that he had actually been there last night before I
focused on my dry erase board. He had erased the note that I had written him
and replaced it with one of his own.

There was an arrow drawn pointing towards my bed with the
words E for effort! I laughed because he had attempted to make up my bed
knowing that I would complain like I always did. He also left two tickets to
his game probably assuming that I wouldn’t come without Toni. I had a test to
study for and a paper to write but first it was nap time. I kicked off my
shoes, climbed onto my bed and settled in for my afternoon nap.
Man I loved college life
.