Kya & Xavier: It's Always Been You (Life As We Know It Book 1) (9 page)

Chapter 6

Kya Renee

“What's up girl?” Toni asked as she did a belly flop onto my
bed “You've been MIA lately.”

I was sitting at my desk typing a paper for my Literature
class.

“Uh no sweetie, that's you. I've been here. What's up with
you?” I asked checking out Toni's new look. She had removed her weave and was
rocking her own hair. Her jet black bangs fell across her left eye.

“Ethan.”

“Ethan what?” I asked now intrigued. I twisted in my chair so
that I could look at her.

“He saw my license picture and said he liked my natural look
better so I decided to rock with it for a minute.”

“Wow.” I said with a huge grin.

“What?” Toni asked and then laughed.

“You know what?” I said. “Changing for a man, who are you and
what have you done with my best friend.”

“Shut up, I like him. So what.” Toni said and threw my stuffed
turtle at me.

“This is not the Toni I know.”
 
I said and threw the turtle back at her. “You
never care what anyone thinks and
especially
not some random dude.”

“Okay so maybe it's a little more than like.” Toni said. She
was smiling so hard that I was worried that she might break her face. “Ky, I
swear I don't know what happened. He is nothing like the guys I usually deal
with but there is something about him. He’s just…. I don't know addicting.”

“Addicting? Wow, that's interesting.” I said and laughed. “I
know I haven't seen you much in the past three weeks but dang I must have
missed a lot.”

“Girl you have no idea.” Toni said.

“I'm not going there with you.”

“Get your mind out the gutter boo. We haven't gone there
yet.” Toni said with a frown.

“See there you go. I wasn't thinking about that. You get your
mind out of the gutter and you did say yet.” I laughed.

“Anyway, so what's up with ya boy? I haven't seen him in a
minute. Y'all fighting again?”

“I don't know what we are. You know how he his.”

“You two are always doing the most.” Toni said sarcastically.

“No he does the most.”

“What happened to Mr. Uncomplicated?”

I had forgotten all about the random guy that I met at
Xavier’s dorm a few weeks ago.

“Nothing happened. I'm not calling that guy.”

“Why not? Clearly he's interested and he's hot.”

“Because I don't know him.”

“I know it's been a minute boo, but that's the purpose of
calling him so that you can get to know him.”

“I already have one headache I don't need another.”

“What you have is a on again off again waste of time and
besides he said call him when you wanted something less complicated.” Toni
grinned at me.

“What I need is to finish this paper for Lit.”

“Oh my god, there's no hope for you. Just go ahead and marry Zay
and have half fro, half twist headed, complicated babies.”

I laughed “You're so dumb. Please leave my room so that I can
finish this paper.”

“Fine, I have a date anyway.” Toni said and then stood up to
leave. “Don't ever say I didn't try to help.” Toni winked at me and then left
my room.

I really hadn’t given much thought to Mr. Uncomplicated but I
also had been so wrapped up in Xavier that I hadn't really had a chance to. The
thought of moving on was something I did not want to deal with and besides
Xavier had asked for another chance to work on us so I felt like I needed to
see where that went but honestly I needed to figure out what was up with him. I
hadn’t really seen or talk to him much lately but that was normal with it being
basketball season so I tried not to stress over it too much.

A few hours later I was just about done with my paper and was
in desperate need of a break. The café was already closed so I decided to go on
a food run. I grabbed my keys and locked my bedroom door since Toni had already
left with Ethan but I decided to leave our main door unlocked because I had
planned on coming right back. The dorm was loud as usual, and I could hear
someone's TV and radio blasting. “What's up Ky, where you going?” I turned when
she heard Kelly's voice and she was standing in her doorway dressed in plaid
dorm pants and a tank top.

“Heading out for a minute, not sure where.” I lied. I didn't
want to get stuck with her. Kelly was the queen of mooch. It would start with a
ride to the store that turned into a stop at her friend’s house, the weave
store, chasing some dude she just met and drive by on her ex to see if he was
with a new chick.
 
I had learned my
lesson about Kelly real fast.

“You think you can swing me by my girl’s house?”

“I'm sorry I can't. I'm meeting Zay and I'm already late.” I
lied again.

“It's just up the street it won't take but a minute and then
you can drop me right back here.”

“Sorry girl I can't.” I said and kept walking. I knew Kelly
would be pissed but I wasn't in the mood to play chauffeur. “I got you next
time girl.” I yelled over my shoulder but kept it moving.

I made my way out side and got in my Jetta that was in desperate
need of a wash. I pulled out of dorm parking lot with no idea where I was going
so naturally I decided to detour and go see Xavier. I hadn't really talked to
him much since our trip home to see Leigh play but I was trying not to read too
much into it. That's how he was, in and out of my life whenever he wanted with
no explanations even though he claimed this time would be different.
So much for that.

When I got to his dorm I parked, got out and entered the
lobby. I wasn’t in the mood to climb stairs even though it was closer to his
end of the hall so I took the elevator up to his floor and walked to the end of
the hallway. As soon as I reached his room I could hear voices and the TV blasting.
The main door was open so I just walked in like I always did and found Chaz and
a few others deep into a game on Xbox. They were yelling and talking trash to
each other and hadn’t even noticed that I was there until I spoke.

“What's sup Chaz, he in there?” I asked and pointed to
Xavier’s room.

Chaz nodded but kept playing so I walked towards Xavier’s
room, knocked and then pushed the door open. The light was off but the TV was
on with the volume so low that she could barely hear it. Xavier was stretched
out on his bed sleep with one arm bent at the elbow behind his head and the
other resting on his chest. I placed my keys and phone on his dresser before
sat down on the bed next to him.

When he felt me beside to him he opened his eyes, stretched
and then laid his hand on her leg.

“What are you doing here?” He mumbled. His voice was deep and
hoarse like he had been asleep for a while.

“I haven’t seen you in a minute.” I said.

“Yeah I know.” Was all he said no explanation.

“So what's up with you?” I asked.

“Nothing just busy.”

“I see.”

“You miss me?” He pulled me by the waist until I fell into
him and then wrapped his arms around me.

“Not really. Just wanted to make sure you're still alive.”

“Which means you missed me.” He tried to kiss my cheek but I
turned away.

“No it means I just wanted to make sure you were still
alive.” I said dryly.

Xavier rolled over on top of me and carefully positioned his
body so that I wouldn’t be crushed by his weight. “You.” He kissed the left
side of my neck “missed” he kissed the right side of my neck “me.” He ended
with a kiss on my lips.

“I just...” he kissed me again before I could finish my
sentence. He was in a playful mood but I definitely wasn’t which meant that an
argument was coming.

“Would you quit it?” I said when he released our kiss.

“What if I don't want to?” He said and then buried his face
into the side of my neck. He pressed his body firmly against me but still
mindful about allowing all of his weight to hit me.

“Come on Zay I'm serious.” Xavier rolled over onto his back,
covered his face with his arms and I sat up.

“So why haven't I seen you lately?” I turned toward him and
crossed my legs so that I was sitting Indian style, my knees touching his side.

“I told you, I’ve been busy.”

“Yeah okay.” I mumbled. I didn't really want to start an
argument but I was tired of the way he acted like he didn't owe me an
explanation about things and so much for him doing things right this time.
That was certainly short lived
.

“Did you come here to fight?” He asked arms still folded and
resting on his forehead so I couldn't really see his face.

“I came because I don't understand how you go from give us
another chance to me not seeing or talking to you at all.”

We both sat there silently for what seemed like forever
before I decided to speak again.

“I'm gonna go.” I said softly. I sat there for another minute
or so before I actually moved half expecting him to stop me but when he didn’t
I finally uncrossed my legs, turned towards the side of the bed and stood up.

Xavier still didn't say a word nor did he move. I picked up
my phone and keys off his dresser and then walked towards his bedroom door.

“Ky wait, don't leave.” Xavier said. He scooted to the foot
of his bed and stood up.

“I think it’s better if I leave.” I said just as I reached
for the doorknob but he grabbed my hand and pulled it towards him. I didn't
know why but I could feel tears forming in my eyes. Typical reaction for me since
I cried about almost everything. I was always an emotional wreck and he already
knew that.

“Stay.” Was all he said and then kissed me on the forehead
before he pulled me into his chest and secured his arms around me resting his closed
fist in the small of my back. “I'm sorry.”

“I can't do this. It's like it doesn't even matter to you.”

“It matters.” He said calmly.

“Yeah when it's convenient for you.” I pulled away and
stepped back. I was glad it was dark in his room because I didn't want him to
see my tears. They made me feel silly especially since I couldn't explain why
they were falling in the first place.

“I know that you know better than that.” His voice was low
and calm.

“I really don't.” My voice was labored and unsteady.

He let me go and then lead me to the leather rolling chair
that sat in front of his desk. He sat down and then forced me to sit on his lap
before he locked his arms around my waist.

 
“You wanna talk, okay
let's talk.”

“What's there to say?” I mumbled.

“Apparently a lot.”

“It really doesn't matter anyway because we always end up in
the same place no matter what we say.”

“Ky that's not solving anything so tell me what's up?”

“I just don't understand why we're still doing the same thing
after all this time. You come around when you want making promises about us and
then we end up here.” I rushed the words out so fast fearing that I wouldn't
say what I really wanted to if I took the time to think about it.

“What's here?” He asked calmly not affected by my emotional
outburst which I expected because he never really got excited about much of
anything and he was used to me getting emotional about almost everything.

“I never know where we stand. If we're together, if we're
just friends. I don't know what we are.”

“What do you want us to be?” He asked still calm as ever
while I was on the verge of tears.

“I just want you to be here.” I could feel the tears really
kick into to gear but I refused to wipe my face and bring attention to them.

“I'm always here Ky maybe not the way you want me to be but
I'm always here.”

“What if that's not good enough anymore?” I was struggling to
get the words out.

“Then what do you need me to be?”

“I need you.”

“You know you got me.” He lifted my hand and slide his
fingers through mine.

“Well then I need to know that I’m the only one that has you.
That it’s just us and I need you not to feel like it’s not okay to disappear on
me, show up whenever you feel like it and then act like it’s no big deal.”

“It's not like I'm hiding from you. You know how it goes
during basketball season. We've had four out of town games in the past two
weeks. I practice, I go to class, I ball, I work at the rec center and I sleep.
It's not like I'm with somebody else. I'm just not with you and not because I
don’t wanna be but I just can’t be.”

“That's what I mean. You’re always like it is what it is Ky,
just deal with it.”

“That is not what I'm saying.” He said sounding irritated. I
knew that he was but I had to get it out.

“I get that its basketball season and you can't just drop
everything but you could at least call or text. I literally haven't heard from
you in like two weeks
okay many that’s a
little of an exaggeration
and probably wouldn't have if I wouldn’t have
come here.”