Lacrimosa (18 page)
Authors: Christine Fonseca
Azza laughs as he again strikes at the angels, landing blow after blow against them, carving into their skin.
The nurses tend to their charts, oblivious to the battle waged around them. They talk and laugh, carefree. If only they knew how close they are to death.
“Azza, let’s go,” I plead. My mind wars against itself, the need to protect Nesy’s brethren—my brethren once—with the Beast’s need to kill.
I am distracted. Unfocused. A Guardian turns to me and drags his sword against my chest. My wound opens, as does my heart.
“No!” I scream, unable to contain who I’ve become any longer. I round on the angel. Jab and thrust, slicing through his armor. His skin.
The angel retaliates, landing blow after blow across my battered body. The battle rages in the hall. Cries and growls. Metal and metal. The cacophony of war sounds is deafening.
Nesy’s friends watch, still protecting Lori.
I try to ignore them. Try to focus on the battle.
The Anointed’s voice fills my head. “
Succurre,”
she says. “Help us, Nesayiel.”
I turn my head and our eyes meet. Everything stops. “No” I mouth. Not now.
A sharp pain interrupts the moment as the ground moves underneath my feet. I wobble, bile coating my mouth. Cold steel digs into my back. And I stumble.
A whoosh of air rushes past me. The sound of a sword—Azza’s sword—circling overhead. The burnt smell of the angel’s skin fills my nostrils as Azza pierces his heart.
“That’s two.”
The last Guardian counters, pointing his weapon at Azza’s neck. “Time to end this, Dark One.
Divina virtute in infernum detrude daemones.”
Azza’s cackle splits the air. He wedges his sword between his skin and the Guardian’s sword. Pushing hard against the blade, he sends the Guardian’s weapon clattering to the ground. “That one only works on the weak. I am not weak.”
Azza rams the tip of his sword into the angel’s chest.
The scene spins out of control as I stagger to my feet.
The Mediator pulls out a dagger and runs for Azza, lodging a blade deep into his flesh. Azza’s scream sends chills down my spine. He rounds on the angel, fury in his eyes.
I step between them, ignoring my fealty to Azza. Ignoring my pledge to kill angels on sight and claim them for Azza. Black blood oozes from my wounds. It soaks my skin. My mind folds in on itself.
“Azza, let’s go!” I urge, forcing my mouth to work. “They’ve called the Sentinals.”
“Oh good,” he replies. “Maybe your lover will come and we can end all of this.”
His words slice open the unseen wound in my heart. Cold steel presses into my chest. “I think we’re done here,” the Guardian hisses. He pierces my skin and I pray for an end to my misery.
I drop my sword and succumb to the angel.
Relieved.
But the Beast will not give in, and I cannot ignore my vows.
I watch the Guardian turn away for a brief moment. Picking up a discarded dagger, I lodge it deeply into his heart.
“No!” Her voice fills the narrow corridor.
The voice I crave.
The voice I need.
Nesy.
Chapter 24 – Dangerous Truth
Nesy
My mind whirls, taking in the scene. Two Guardians dead on the floor. Another lays at Aydan’s feet. Aydan’s hands hold a dagger, still wet with my brethren’s blood. Nurses and doctors walk the corridors, unaware. Patients sleep in their rooms. Except for Lori.
This can’t be happening.
I cast my human form to the ground, not thinking. Brandishing my sword, I enter the fray.
No one else dies because of my failures.
Anguish streaks across Aydan’s face as I run towards him. Pain rolls off him in waves. “Nesy, I—”
Too late for my sympathy.
I run past him and lunge into the real cause of this horrific scene. Azza. He falls back into Lori’s room.
“Get up, Azzaziel,” I snarl. “Time to finish this.”
“Aydan, your lover has spunk!” he yells into the hall. “I like that,” he whispers at me.
I ignore his words and hold my blade steady against him.
“You can’t beat me. Didn’t Mikayel teach you that?” Azza steps forward, pushing his sword against mine.
“Care to bet your life on that?” I counter his attack, matching each blow. My blade pierces his shoulder.
Azza groans. “You’ll pay for that, little warrior,” he spits. He unleashes a torrent of blows, each one powerful enough to knock me from the room.
I strengthen my stance. Block and counter, slowly regaining my ground. Until something hits me from behind.
“You?” I ask as Aydan hits my back a second time.
Him, I can beat.
“Aw, how sweet. The lovers are reunited,” Azza taunts as I round on Aydan, careful to keep them both in my sight.
Zane approaches Aydan from behind, dagger drawn.
“You don’t want to do that, Mediator.”
“Oh, I do. I
really
do.” Zane strikes as Aydan spins out of the way.
Fast. Despite his injuries.
Impressive.
Azza takes a step back and I confront him, my sword level with his heart. “Time for you to leave.”
“As you wish, Sentinal.” Azza’s body fades into smoke.
I jab at the fading image, slicing nothing but air. “No!” I scream as the last of Azza’s image disappears.
I spin to face Aydan, my heart full of rage. A growl escapes my mouth as words dance through my thoughts. Accusations of murder. Confessions of love. Everything I cannot bring myself to say out loud.
His eyes reflect the torment I feel. It consumes me as I again feel like we are sharing a similar thought.
A similar wish.
Everything whirls to a halt as the scene moves forward in slow-motion, one frame at a time.
Aydan releases his dagger and drops to his knees…“I’m so sorry.”
Zane tries to attack as Cass pulls him away…“Kill him, Nesy. Now.”
Lori stares into my eyes, shaking her head slightly…“He loves you. Still”
The scene is too much. It overloads my senses, my resolve. I close my eyes and breathe.
1…
2…
3…
My mind clears.
“End this, Nesayiel. Now.” Zane’s angry voice booms in my ears.
I grip the hilt of my sword with both hands. Standing over Aydan, I prepare myself to finish this at last.
My gaze locks with his. He was everything to me once.
Aydan’s tear-filled eyes mirror my torment. Every second that passes cracks the foundation of my world, shattering me to pieces.
“It’s okay, Nesy. Do it,” he whispers. I watch him close his eyes and dig his nails into his palm.
I tighten my grip and raise my sword. “I’m sorry,” I mouth, ignoring the tears that fill my eyes. In one bold stroke, I thrust the blade forward.
It sails from my hands, landing with a crash on the floor.
Aydan opens his eyes, confused.
“Go,” I whisper. “Get out of here.”
He reaches for my hands.
“Go now!” I yell as I collapse to the ground. Aydan falls into his host and runs from the room.
“Nesayiel, what are you doing?” Zane yells.
Cass holds him back. “No, Zane. Stay out of it.”
“The heck I will,” he says as he wrenches himself free, retrieves my sword and runs after the UnHoly.
What have I done?
My mind implodes under the weight of my choices. My failures. The Council will cast me out for this.
“He wasn’t to blame, Nesy,” Lori says. She edges herself onto her elbows.
“What?” I ask, still surprised that she can see me.
“Aydan. He wasn’t to blame for the angels’ deaths. He tried to resist. Tried to refuse. But no one can resist Azza for too long.”
My lungs stop working as piece after piece of my world shatters with the mention of Aydan’s name.
“He loves you,” Lori says. “Just like in Germany. He would do anything for you.”
I stare at my sister, unable to process her words.
Love? Was it even possible between us anymore?
Zane storms back into the room, yanking me from my thoughts. “He got away,” he snarls. “And it’s your fault.”
He’s right. It is my fault.
“Zane, stop. You don’t understand.” Cass lays a hand on his shoulder, exuding a calm that only the Anointed can muster.
“I understand that he almost killed Lori,” Zane says, casting aside Cass’s attempts to console him. “He killed a Guardian, Nesayiel. Your brethren. How can you let that pass?”
The room grows thick with my silence.
“You are sworn to protect humanity and serve Mikayel. Do your duty. Go after him and end this. Now.”
“Zane!” Cassiel barks.
So much for calm.
“No, Cassiel. You’re too easy on everyone. Compromised or not, she has to do this. Now!”
“Zanethios! No!” Cassiel pushes into the room, trying to force a calm that won’t come.
Zane exhales a deep sigh. “Nesy, if you can’t do this, Mikayel will have no choice. You will die, Nesy. Is that what you want?” Concern and anger press through his words.
There’s nothing I can say to answer him. Part of me
does
want to die.
“Do this now, or I will get the Council to send people who can. Last chance.” Zane’s disgust fills the empty spaces in my heart, shredding it further.
“Enough!” I yell. My voice feels as though it’s coming from someone else. Someplace else.
I struggle against the tide surging inside.
Sentinals don’t feel. Sentinals don’t show emotion. Not ever.
I repeat the words over and over, letting them caress me. Calm my thoughts. Remind me of my duty.
I can do this. I have to.
For Mikayel and all he’s sacrificed for me.
For my sister and her faith.
For my friends.
For me.
Within moments, my pulse slows and I can think again. I inhale my pain. Drink the love I still harbor for the UnHoly. And shove it all aside, becoming the Sentinal again.
No room for emotions.
No place for love.
Yeah, who am I kidding?
“I have two more days to finish this,” I say through gritted teeth. “I’ll get it done.” I sheath my sword and fight to hold myself together.
“You should have done it already.”
“Zane, she can’t.” Cass looks from Zane to me.
Don’t say it. Don’t.
“She’s still in love with him.”
Blazes!
“What?” Zane asks as he glares at me.
I turn away, unable to speak.
“Is it true? Do you love that…that…UnHoly?” His voice cracks on the words.
I want to say yes, tell him everything.
My confusion…
The poisoned love…
All of it.
“I’ll take care of it. Of him,” is all I manage to say.
“Do it now, or I’ll be the one to tell Mikayel everything.”