Lacrimosa (9 page)
Authors: Christine Fonseca
“Azzaziel. He’s here.”
“Here? That’s not good.” Zane, the master of understatement.
“Yeah, I know it’s not good.”
Zane begins to pace. “How did you find him?”
“He sort of found me?”
He stops midstep. “What does that mean, Nes? Does he know who you really are? Because if he does, you’re in great danger and we need to talk with the Council. Now.”
So much for not being a tyrant.
“Relax. I was careful. He interrupted Aydan and me. While we were…well, while I was about to vanquish him. I’m sure he doesn’t know who I am. But, he doesn’t trust me. I need a new plan.”
“Stop worrying about Azzaziel. You know the rules. Focus on Aydan; let Mikayel deal—”
“No! No Mikayel. He asked me to do this and I said I could. I’ll get it done. Without Azzaziel suspecting a thing.”
“I don’t know, Nes. It seems like an awfully big risk to take just to prove your worth as a Sentinal.”
“This isn’t about vanity. It’s about doing my job, like always.”
Okay, so maybe it isn’t only the job. Maybe I do need to prove myself a little. After two botched attempts, I need this.
“Fine,” Zane says, his voice stiff. “But get it done.”
“I will.”
“Soon.”
I’ve had enough of Zane, enough of his expectations. Why is he so angry? So concerned? “I said I’d get it done. Now drop it.”
Zane’s focus narrows. “I think Cass and I should come along. Just to help.”
I open my mouth to argue. I want to tell him that the last thing I need, the last thing I want, is for
him
to help me. Sentinals don’t need help from the
lesser
angels. But I can’t. And he’s right. After more failures than I’ve ever committed on a job, maybe I do need his help. Maybe I need him.
“Fine,” I say, my jaw clenched. Unfamiliar fear trickles through my hardened shell. What if I can’t finish this? I wrestle back the feelings aside.
Failure isn’t an option.
Not now. Not ever.
Chapter 12 - Feed
Aydan
The club is quiet, typical for a Monday night. No one crowds the entrance as Azza walks in, nodding at the dark creatures guarding the robes. I follow a step behind, my mind torn. The dark creatures smile, baring their fangs, anticipating the meal they expect me to provide.
But I can’t. I won’t. Not now.
Maybe not ever again.
My mind tosses over my life with Azza. Frustrated. Angry. I’ve never enjoyed serving him; but I’ve never had this kind of a problem either. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I stop thinking about Elle? About Nesy?
Azza motions me to join him at the back of the club. We slip into a booth overlooking the stage and dance floor. Music echoes off the walls as the scant patrons dance or talk in tangled huddles near the bar. I search, praying she isn’t here. Frustration riddles my muscles as I stretch my neck, back, shoulders.
“You have something to say to me,” Azza says. I feel his cold stare penetrate my defenses.
I know what I should say, what he wants to hear. But I can’t lie. The Beast stirs, reminding me of my need to feed. Guilt and shame coat my tongue.
Enough of this.
“I can’t do this anymore. I won’t.”
“Can’t do what, exactly? Can’t live as a 17-year old boy, forever young? Can’t skate by with no rules? Dominate anyone you choose? Feed off the fear of these humans?” Azza’s words drip with disdain. “What is it that you think you
can’t
do?”
I clench my jaw as a wave of fury begins to make its way up my throat. “This. Kill for you.” I force the words out through my gritted teeth.
“You don’t do it for me. You never have. You kill for you and you alone. You kill to meet your own needs. I simply allow my demons to take your leftovers.”
He’s right.
And I hate him for it.
“Don’t sulk, Aydan. You chose this life. All of it.”
No!
I want to scream.
You did this to me.
I turn to my master, my cold expression mirrored in his eyes.
“You chose to ignore the Council,” Azza says. “They would have offered you a chance. But you decided to leave Celestium. No one else. You picked this fate.”
“That isn’t what happened,” I spit. “You forced—”
“The Council wanted you to stay. Only Mikayel objected. But he would’ve yielded to the others. You had a chance at another life. A life without me. That was our bargain. You decided to leave. You decided to follow me. I am not to blame for your choices.”
My silence screams the truth of his words.
“I know you’ve enjoyed this life,” Azza says as a smile forms in his eyes. “Found pleasure in killing the way you do.”
“At one time. Maybe.”
“Absolutely.”
I turn away and try to pretend that I was never his apprentice, never wanted the life he offered. But I did at one time.
I did choose this.
“What’s changed, Aydan? The girl?”
Nesy. A picture of her blond hair and haunting eyes flits across my thoughts. It awakens the Beast. And my heart. I want to consume her power. Protect her soul. The opposing feelings battle inside, stealing my breath.
Azza watches, a cold fury seething in his expression. “You would sacrifice everything with me for her? A worthless human girl?”
“I thought you said she was more than human.”
“She is. But
that
is not the point.”
“Then what is?”
“You. Are you willing to risk everything for her? Would you give yourself over to my demons, be consumed by them as you scream for their mercy? Would you do that for her? Because I promise you, she won’t do the same for you. She’ll kill you if she gets the chance. I hear it in her thoughts. See it in her eyes.”
I turn away, unwilling to accept the truth I know.
“If she is what you crave, take her. Enjoy every inch of her. And when her lust and fear has fed your soul, kill her. Consume her body. Her power.”
I contemplate my master’s words. He’s never been wrong about our enemies. Not once. But is she really my enemy?
The Beast screams the answer, leaving only one solution.
An image of myself drinking her soul fills my vision. I feel her power flowing into me. Feel her death. Bile coats my throat. My eyes begin to water. And my heart feels as though it’s being carved from my body.
I can’t do this. I don’t know why, but I know I will never be able to do
this
.
Not to her.
Uninvited feelings permeate my mind. Loyalty. Fealty. Devotion.
To someone other than my master. To a stupid human girl.
Azza’s thoughts become my own. He demands my allegiance, regardless of my feelings on the matter. Or perhaps, because of them.
I stretch my neck, willing the visions to stop. Azza is right; my allegiance belongs to him and him alone. I made that choice centuries ago.
I face my master, asking the question I fear. “You’ve picked
her
, haven’t you?”
Azza’s laugh brings no relief. “Oh no, you’re not strong enough. Whatever she is, there’s a power you can’t yet face. She will be yours after you have fed.”
Not Nesy.
“But, you will kill her. Soon.”
A boiling rage surges with his threat.
His eyes narrow. “Tonight I have a smaller prize in mind. One that will not resist you. Her death will prove your loyalty for now.”
No!
forms in my thoughts. But the Beast pulls on me, stifling my voice and urging me to fulfill my oath to my master, regardless of the cost.
“Nesy’s death guarantees your fealty later.”
“Who?” It sounds more like a growl than an actual word.
Azza nods forward. I follow his gaze to the bar adjacent to the booth.
A familiar girl. Alone and unaware.
Not Nesy
.
I can’t control the Beast. I must feed before a frenzy starts and I lose all control. I walk to my prey and sit next to her.
Don’t do this
, part of me says. But my need for sustenance is overwhelming and will not abate. Whispering in her ear, I prepare my meal. “You attend East Side, don’t you? Mandy is it?”
A smile glints in the girl's large brown eyes as she tosses her chestnut brown strands over her shoulder. “Yeah.”
“Here on a Monday? I’m surprised. I thought girls like you avoided this place during the week. What would your parents say?”
“My mother couldn’t care less. She probably doesn’t even realize I’m gone.” Mandy leans in. “Besides, being here is a lot more fun than staying home. Especially with you around.”
I feel my hunger cover the contours of my face, feel the Beast growl. “Well Mandy, you’re just full of surprises tonight, aren't you?”
“I guess I am.”
Every word she speaks, each toss of her hair and pout of her lips explodes my appetite. I can’t resist the Beast’s pull. Not with such an easy kill.
There are no strange memories to confuse me this time. No longings for a girl long dead. No feelings of my heart being ripped to shreds.
Just the familiar satisfaction as her soul feeds the Beast.
Why resist what I am?
“So, want to get out of here?” I ask.
“I would, but I’m here with a friend. I think you know her. Lori. She’s warned me all about you.”
That’s the second time that girl has interfered with my plans.
“And what do you think?” I ask as I brush my finger across her throat. “Are her warnings justified?”
Mandy takes a deep breath. I see her pulse throb in her neck, feel the erratic beat of her heart against her chest. “Definitely.” She moves closer to me.
I smile and push into her thoughts, showing her everything she wants. “Leave with me.”
A sexy pout covers her lips as she stands. “Let’s go.”
Very easy prey.
I place my hand on the small of her back and guide her out the door. Azza follows, unseen to all but me. Dark shadows dance along the edges of the alley behind the club. Azza’s creatures wait, watching the hunt. Their beaks and claws clack in anticipation.
I push my body against the girl, rubbing my hands across her arms. She shudders in response.
For a moment Nesy floods my vision.
Stop this. Stop
. Her voice taunts me and I pull back, hesitate.
But the Beast won’t stop.
It never has.
Do this!
The pull of all that I am is too strong. I push against my urgings, clinging to my feelings of guilt and shame. The Beast consumes them, leaving me no way to resist.
I focus on the girl who offers her soul to me. Leaning in, I taste her lips.
“I shouldn’t do this,” she whispers.
“I know you want to.” My voice weaves around her, casting my spell. She melts into my arms, her breath nothing more than short, shallow wisps.
I feel her quiver as I again taste her neck, her jaw. “I came for you.”
Her aroma, a mixture of sweet peas and the life coursing through her veins, sends me into a frenzy. My body shakes. There’s no turning back now.
She arches her back, giving herself to me.
“Do you want me?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“Yes,” she whispers.
I pull her into a hungry kiss. She releases herself to me and I take her air.
Her life.
Her eyes spring open as I drink her soul, extracting it from every cell. She screams into me, pounds my chest, writhes against my hold.
I tighten my grip and deepen the kiss that will end her life.
The girl continues to beat on my chest, her strength growing weaker. And weaker. Her soul flows freely into me as her color begins to pale and her movements slow.
I drain every last drop of her soul from her.
Her body drops from my grasp as her life force coats every crevice, filling a need too deep to ignore. Satisfaction and disgust buffet against me.