Learning to Breathe Again (8 page)

Now, it was Jack’s turn to swallow hard.
Somehow, he managed to keep his eyes on her face. The modest
swimsuit was sexy as hell on her. He offered her his hand, helping
her step into the tub. She let out a hiss as the heat enveloped
her.

“
You’ll get used to it,” he
assured her, as she eased onto one of the bench seats. He sat down
across from her and then reached over and activated the jets. His
head dropped back against the edge and he closed his eyes. “Just
relax, Bayleigh.”

Bayleigh turned so she could lay her leg
across the bench and direct one of the jets at it as she massaged
her knee and thigh. Her eyes strayed over to him every few seconds,
as she took in the scars on his chest and abdomen. She hadn’t
allowed herself to stare as she got into the hot tub, but she was
pretty sure she’d seen some scars on his leg, too. Her fingers
traced over the small scars on her own leg as she again looked
towards him, seeing his eyes now open and looking right at her.

“
Go ahead and ask, I don’t
mind,” he invited.

“
I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to
be rude.”

“
I’d keep my shirt on if I
didn’t want them to ever be seen,” his hand went to the marks that
crisscrossed his ribs and upper abs on his left side. Her eyes
followed the motion. He watched as she opened and closed her mouth
a couple of times, as if to ask him, but she didn’t voice her
thoughts out loud.

He grew frustrated with the silence and
decided to just tell her, save her the trouble of figuring out how
to ask. “I was in the Army, in Afghanistan. My transport hit an
IED.” He dropped his head back, staring up at the glass ceiling.
“My leg is worse. One of the doctors told me I was lucky I got to
keep it. At the time, I just wanted to die. Most of these were just
from shrapnel. They required stitches but they weren’t
serious.”

He closed his eyes against the wave of
emotion that churned in his stomach. It had been years since he’d
talked about this to anyone outside of his family. But if he was
going to ask her to spill her secrets, he had to be willing to
share his. He cleared his throat as he realized he was the one
being silent now.

“
The pain was pretty fu—uh,
fricking intense,” he gave her a lopsided smile to apologize for
his near slip. “My injuries wound up getting me an honorable
discharge from the Army. I found a rehab center in California I
liked. It was pretty close to where Nicole lived at the time. She
stuck by me for most of my rehab, even when I was cussing her out
and telling her to go away. Which is more than I can say for the
lady who was supposed to be the love of my life.” For a brief
moment, he allowed the old bitterness to take hold and rear its
ugly head. He knew he should have grabbed a drink tonight before
getting into the hot tub.

“
Rehab took about 9 months
and then it was time to move back to Texas. I got into law school
in Austin, graduated and opened my practice.” He watched the
blinking lights of a plane as it flew across the sky. “That’s my
story.”

“
Some story.” Her eyes
traveled across his chest. “How long were in
Afghanistan?”

“
Sixteen months. I was
injured eight weeks before we were due to be rotated out.” He
rolled his shoulders before sliding down into the water, getting
the jets to hit him further up his back.

“
And the others?” She asked,
her voice so quiet he almost didn’t hear it above the
jets.

He closed his eyes, his gut really churning
now. God, the others. He could still hear the screams in his head
sometimes. “Three of us survived the IED’s blast. I’m the only one
who made it home.” He took a chance and allowed himself to look at
her. He was expecting to see her face filled with disgust, or
revulsion, or something. Instead, all he saw was compassion.

“
We did some USO stuff when
we were in England. The injured, they’re happy to have anybody
visit them,” she told him. “It makes you appreciate life, when you
hear the stories of what our troops have to do, and go through,
every single day. You don’t need to feel guilty that you survived,
Jack. Just remember to live for your buddies.”

He swallowed hard and nodded, not trusting
himself to speak. How could this woman know what made it so hard to
reveal those dark days to others? Survivor’s guilt, that’s what the
therapist had called it. He was the only one on that transport to
survive. Not wanting to dwell on those thoughts right now, he
shoved them away. His view strayed up to the ceiling again and this
time, hers followed. He heard her gasp.

“
Oh, wow. I didn’t
realize…The whole ceiling is glass!”

“
Yup.” He latched onto the
opening to change the topic. “I wanted to be able to use the pool
year round, but I like to see the sky. “This was one of those
things that drove the builder nuts.” They both had their heads
tilted back, staring up at the magnificence of the night
sky.

“
It’s beautiful.”

Jack nodded his agreement and lifted his hand
from the water, pointing towards the stars. “That bright spot over
there is the International Space Station.”

“
It never amazes me how many
stars there are…” She tilted her head and pointed at something.
“What’s that?”

He had to shift closer to her to see what she
was referring to, surprised she didn’t tense up. “One of the
planets, I think. I’d have to look online to see which one. I know
the constellations, at least the big ones, but that’s about it,” he
admitted. “This is what I missed when I had to live in the city.
You can’t see the stars for all of those city lights.” He leaned
forward and turned off the jets before settling back into his spot
again. “It’s even better when you enjoy it in the quiet. Nights
like this, when there aren’t any clouds in the sky and it’s just
the stars and the moon for light…it’s perfect.”

He allowed his gaze to slide over to
Bayleigh. She still had her head back, looking up at the stars. He
wondered what her story was, who had abused her, and why she wasn’t
telling her brother the truth. He knew she was going to need
counseling and a gentle hand, and a man who could stand by her, to
help her get through it.

He found himself wishing he could be that
man. Could he do it? Could he allow a woman access to his heart
again, while being there for her? Diana, his ex, sure hadn’t
thought he could do it. It had taken her one bad night, seeing him
struggle with nightmares and flashbacks, for her to turn and run.
He knew it took a hell of a woman to put up with men like him,
scarred not just physically but emotionally. But now that the
reverse situation was staring him in the face, someone needed him
to be there for them while they put their life back together…could
he do it? For this moment in time, he wanted to try.

She turned towards him just then and smiled.
“Thank you.”

He raised his eyebrows, but made no other
movements. Had he said any of that out loud? Or was she reading his
mind now?

“
I fell into your life
today, giving no thoughts to what I might be disrupting, but you’ve
opened your home to me and haven’t pushed for anything,” she
explained. “And I know you keep saying that crap about southern
hospitality…but you don’t know me from Adam. So, thank you,” she
repeated. Her eyes drifted back up to the ceiling and then lowered
to meet his. She sat up and turned, pulling her knees up against
her chest. “I’m sure you’d like to know what happened to
me.”

“
It’s your story to tell,
Bayleigh. I’ll listen if you want to tell me but it’s not a
condition on you staying here or us being friends.” Jack’s gaze
never wavered.

“
If I was up to telling
anybody, I think it would be you,” she looked away. “I should have
come back before now.”

“
Why didn’t you?”

“
I didn’t want to admit it
was over,” she shrugged her thin shoulders. “Besides, I needed to
get away from them. I was hoping the distance would help with some
of it.”

“
Take it from me, lady. The
distance won’t help as much as you need it to. But if you need
anything—a shoulder to cry on or strong arms to help hold you up,
I’m here for you.” He flexed his bicep for her, trying to get her
to laugh, pleased with himself when she did.

“
I owe you my thanks,
again,” she whispered as her gaze drifted to his lips. Hesitating
for a second, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his cheek
in a soft kiss.

Jack was too shocked to do anything but nod
at her when she drew back, a slight flush on her cheeks. “I think
I’m going to go back to my room now.” She stood up and stepped out
of the hot tub and grabbed her towel. She had it wrapped around
herself and was heading for the sliding glass door before he could
do anything more than wish her good night.

Really should have been
drinking tonight.
Jack shook his head as he
watched her hurry back into the house. He wasn’t sure if he wanted
Monday to get here sooner…or never.

What the hell was he thinking? He needed for
Monday to get here so he could hand her over to Jason. He didn’t
need the complication of a woman in his life. ‘Love ‘em and leave
‘em that was his motto. Had been ever since that bitch of an ex had
left him lying in the hospital bed.

He wasn’t a believer in ‘happy ever after’.
Not for guys like him. Life had hardened him. He found female
companionship when he needed it, women who weren’t looking for
long-term commitments. And so far, that plan had worked well for
him.

So why was he sitting here thinking about not
wanting Monday to get here? Monday meant Jason would be back in
town and his sister could go home with him, where she belonged.
Right? Except there was something about her that called to
something deep inside of him. And it wasn’t just the raging hard on
he had at the moment, either.

Christ, like a fucking hormonal teenager, the
second she’d shown up in that bathing suit, his cock had taken
notice. It wasn’t that the bathing suit was too small, or hadn’t
fit right. At least, not that he could tell. But all he could think
when she dropped that towel earlier was how he wanted her to drop
the suit along with it. And then just now, when she’d given him
that chaste kiss on the cheek, he was surprised he hadn’t gone up
in flames.

He waited until he was sure the coast was
clear before he stood up. Hell, he was in trouble. T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
He groaned at the thought as he stalked down the hallway to his
bedroom, refusing to give into the temptation to pause outside of
her bedroom to listen at the door. He was not a love-struck
teenager, damn it. Of course, it would help if certain body parts
would listen to that argument, he thought as he entered his
bathroom and turned the shower on but left the temperature on
‘cold’.

Stripping off his wet swimming trunks, he
stepped into the shower, muffling a curse as he ducked his head and
stood under the freezing cold spray. “Damn it, go down! She is off
limits!” he muttered as he titled his head back and clenched his
teeth together. Reaching up, he tried adjusting the shower head
until the spray was aimed at his groin.

“
Start behaving or we’ll be
having nothing but freezing showers until Monday,” he warned
himself, bracing his hands against the walls of the shower and
forcing himself to stay under the stinging needles of the spray.
“Let this be a warning to you, too. Listen to the brain upstairs
and quit taking it upon yourself to show interest. Got
it?”

He stayed in the shower,
torturing himself, until he could no longer feel
any
of his appendages.
Exhausted, he climbed into bed, and closed his eyes, sending up a
silent prayer that sleep would come fast and easy for at least one
night.