Learning to Live (The Infinite Love Series Book 1) (23 page)

Thanksgiving is coming up in less than a week and I know it is going to be a conflicting time for Topher, so I shoot him a quick text.

Hey.

Hey you
, he responds within moments.

How are you?
I ask.

I’ve been better. How are you feeling, you alright?

Yeah, I’m good. I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking about you and I’m here for you if you need to talk
, I send.

A few moments pass before I finally get a response.
What are your plans for Thanksgiving?

Taking care of Rose and Wesley, my mother is working a shift at the call center for holiday pay, why?

You should come spend it at my house. My father is having it catered. Bring Rose and Wes, there will be enough room for them.

I have a feeling that he is asking me more so for himself. So that he doesn’t have to spend the time awkwardly with his father, and his father’s new boyfriend…but it doesn’t bother me. It’s been years since we’ve had the chance to experience Thanksgiving to its fullest, and I’m sure Rose and Wes would love to get out of the house for a bit.

Deal. But you have to pick us up.

His response is fast.
Oh, but of course.

I put the phone down and smile to myself. I’m glad things aren’t awkward between us. I’m happy I get to spend the holiday with someone I care about.

Chapter Twenty Three

Topher

“You’re never going to be able to get them to leave this room, you know that right?” Ciera whispers to me as we watch her younger siblings enjoying a competitive game of air hockey in my family’s game room.

I shrug. “Come on, I have something to show you.”

She glances back at them once more before following me up the stairs and into my bedroom. As we enter my room, her eyes scan it, taking in every little detail.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot you’ve never been up here before,” I say as I head straight for my closet.

Ciera’s eyes are big and wide as she continues to gawk. “Your room is bigger than our apartment.”

“No it’s not.” I chuckle.

“Okay, maybe not, but it’s damn near close.”

I always forget how impressive our house is because I live here. It would be different if I hadn’t grown up accustomed to fancy things.

I open my closet door, and pull out the Nordstrom’s bag, handing it to her.

“What is this?” she asks, curiously eyeing the garment bag.

“Open it.” I motion with my head.

She lays it down on my bed, and begins to unzip the black bag. I’m watching her eyes, I want to make sure she likes it. The expression that overtakes her face tells me I did well.

“Do you like it?” I ask anyway.

She looks at me with wide eyes, and then back to the dress. It is dark silver with rhinestones and gems all over it. It has layers like a flapper dress, but is more elegant, sophisticated. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure of her size, so I was beyond thankful when Madalynne agreed to accompany me dress hunting.

She pulls the dress out of the bag gently, admiring it. “It’s beautiful.”

“I thought you could wear it to the Winter Formal next week,” I say.

She keeps looking between me and the dress. “I can’t accept this. This had to have cost you a fortune.”

I laugh. “It definitely wasn’t cheap, but you know more than anyone that we can afford it.”

She sighs, running her fingers along the intricate design. “I don’t know what to say.”

I break into a grin. “Normally when people receive a gift they say thank you.”

Her sapphire eyes lock onto mine, and she holds the gaze for a few moments. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I can’t believe I am going to a dance,” she says as she zips the dress back up inside the garment bag.

“Why is that?”

She shrugs. “No one has ever asked me before.”

Her words make me sad. “I’m happy I get to be the first guy.”

She smiles back at me, but it’s dejected. “The only guy…”

“Shhh.” I hold my finger up to my lips. “Today is a day we are thankful, not depressed. We can resume our normal attitudes tomorrow. But today we should be positive.”

She nods, but I can already see the tears beginning to form at the corner of her eyes. “This is my last Thanksgiving…”

She drops to her knees, breathing in deeply.

I crouch down beside her. “Well I for one am happy you are spending it with me.”

I lift her chin up gently so we are looking into each other’s eyes. Tears are streaming down her face. “I am so thankful I met you. I mean, I knew you...but I am so thankful I met the real you.”

She nods slightly, averting my gaze.

I kiss the tears trailing down her face, stopping them in their tracks.

“Topher…” she says softly.

“I know, I know,” I say, backing away. “We can’t. But it doesn’t mean I feel any differently about you. I’m sorry I can’t turn a switch on my feelings so easily.”

She sighs, her whole body shaking from her emotions. “I wish I would have met you in another life.”

I run my finger along her cheek, catching another tear. “Me too.”

The doorbell chimes, interrupting our moment.

“That must be Clarke,” I grumble.

Ciera arches her eyebrow at me.

“What?”

“I’m not always going to be here to be the buffer for you, you know,” she states, standing up.

We hear the door being opened downstairs and can now faintly hear my father greeting Clarke.

“I know,” I reply, standing as well.

“There is nothing wrong with the way he’s wired. You’re going to have to accept that,” she scolds me.

I roll my eyes, irritated. “I just don’t understand how anyone could choose to live like that.” I begin to walk out of my room when she grabs my arm, stopping me.

“Hold up…you think this is a choice he is making?”

“Of course it is,” I huff.

“See, that’s where you’re so wrong. If being gay was a choice, do you really think there would be as many same sex couples in the world as there are? No one chooses to be gay…they just are.”

I ponder over her statement for a moment. I’ve never thought of it that way. Maybe she’s right.

“You need to go easier on your father. He needs you. He loves you…and after I’m gone—“

I can’t let her finish. Even though I know she is dying, I haven’t accepted the fact yet. I guess part of me still wants to believe that it’s all just a cruel joke. “Don’t, please. I don’t want to think about that.”

“You’re going to have to come to terms with it sooner or later,” she says softly.

I nod. “And I will…when I’m ready. But today is Thanksgiving, and we have family we should be spending it with.”

She sighs. “Alright, let’s go.”

* * *

The week flashes by and before I know it, it’s the day of the Winter Formal. I talked Madalynne and Parker along with Kendall and Dylan into chipping in for a limo, and I knew it would give Ciera an excuse to have some girls to get ready with. I want her to be able to experience a dance in all of its entirety.

I spend the day hanging out with the guys playing video games in my game room until close to 4 pm.

“When are the girls getting here?” Dylan asks as he slips on his suit jacket.

I look at the clock on the wall. “Within the hour, they know our reservation is at five.”

My father was able to pull some strings and reserve us a table in the chef’s private quarters of Davinci’s. I know the whole group is going to be excited about the setup.

The girls arrive sooner than expected, Madalynne in a red glittery dress, and Kendall in a blue one. Ciera is the third person through the door and my heart goes into overdrive as I drink her in. The dress hugs her in all the right places. Her curves are accentuated and her tits are front and center, demanding my attention. Her hair is curled into wild curls and she has a white Lily pinning her hair to one side. Her make-up is light and airy, emphasizing her natural beauty.

She touches her hair uncomfortably. “You’re staring.”

I break my gaze and chuckle. “I’m sorry. You look…”

“Maddy did a good job. You should be thanking her,” she offers up.

“You ready to go?” I address the question to the entire group.

“Wait!” Kendall squeals. “We need picture proof!”

Twenty minutes later, after the girls have had their fun, we are finally out the door and into the limo for the evening. I notice a couple of bottles of champagne, sitting chilling inside.

I pick one up and read a sticky note attached to it. “Enjoy yourselves. I’m proud to call you my son. Love, Dad.”

“Shit!” Dylan exclaims, grabbing the bottle from me and examining it. “Let’s pop this shit open!”

Within minutes we are all toasting to the amazing evening that is about to come.

Ciera squeezes my arm lightly. “There goes number twenty on my list.”

I smile at her but then the sadness hits me. She’s only pursuing this list because she’s running out of time. I wish I hadn’t been such an arrogant asshole for so long. Maybe then I could have had more time with her.

* * *

We arrive to the dance and the auditorium is decorated in snowflakes and fake snow, a lot of glitter and white balloons. Ciera’s eyes widen as she takes everything in. I’ve been to my share of school dances, but nothing has ever compared to this. It’s an incredible feeling being able to live vicariously through someone. The smallest things excite her, and I love being able to witness it all.