Learning to Live (The Infinite Love Series Book 1) (29 page)

Sneak Peek of the second book in the Infinite Love series,
My Forever
:

One – Self Destruction at its Best

Mad
a
l
y
n
ne

I had only ever experienced the feeling once before. The gripping terror, the beating of my heart ferociously against my chest. I was swallowing loudly in an attempt to clear my ears.

There was no way.

I heard the scream before my body registered and went barreling towards the noise—towards my mother’s crumpled body in the door frame.

I glanced out to the porch, a male and female dressed in full military gear were staring back at me, their sad expressions hard to miss.

My legs became jello.

“
He’s not…” I gripped the doorframe for support. Suddenly, I felt arms reach underneath my armpits. I looked back thankfully at my best friend.

“
Ma’am, may we come in?” The rugged looking male spoke finally, a look of sympathy plastered across his face.

Between my mother’s sobs, my stilted breaths, and the ringing that was piercing my ears was when I knew nothing was ever going to be the same again.

* * *

Three Weeks Later

“
Honey,” my father’s voice came into my darkened room.

I didn’t respond. My room had been my safe haven since…

I was surprised my father was even home; ever since the news, he had been doing his best to stay as far away from my mother as possible. The only reason I knew was the slamming shut of his car door and the loud roar of his engine every time he peeled away.

It was always the same.

My mother blamed my father for Mason’s death, basically insinuating he pushed Mason to join the army.

Mason was my older brother, he was five years older than me…but still my father’s baby. He would never have harmed a hair on my brother’s head.

So what if my father had
urged
Mason to join the military…was it a crime to want something better for your child? And plus, I knew how much it had always meant to Mason—he loved making us proud.

“
Parker is here,” my father whispered into the darkness. I had almost forgotten he was there.

My breath caught in my throat—my heart beating wildly, it’s funny how just hearing his name had such an effect on me.

He can’t see me like this.

I remained still as ever, my back turned to my father, attempting to steady my breathing. As much as I had loved Parker, I didn’t know that I could handle him—so I pretended to be asleep; a total wimp.

Finally, I heard my father sigh heavily before footsteps followed and then my door closed.

I felt terrible turning Parker away, but I was positive I looked like death.

Quickly, I turned my bedside lamp on, illuminating my small room.

I headed for my vanity mirror and the reflection staring back made me wince.

My once lively chocolate eyes were anything but. They appeared dull and lifeless. My normal bouncy brown curls were greasy and flat; sticking to my forehead.

My eyes looked sunken in from my near constant sobbing. No one deserved to see me in such a state—least of all, Parker.

I ran a hand tiredly through my ratty and uncombed mess of hair when I heard my phone vibrate. I picked up the phone and stared at the screen; it was a text message.

I know you’re not asleep.

Way to go Captain Obvious,
I thought to myself.

Another came in.
But I know what you’re going through—I’ve been there and I forgive you.

Parker Grant. My boyfriend of three years. Best friends since we were babies. We had seen each other naked even…when we were five.

While I always knew Parker was the one for me,
i
t
t
ook hi
m
j
u
st
a
bi
t
longe
r
to
de
v
el
op
r
o
m
an
t
i
c
f
eeling
s
f
o
r
m
e
.
I
t
wa
s
n’
t
e
ven
un
t
i
l
t
h
e
en
d
o
f
eighth
g
r
ad
e
t
ha
t
h
e
c
a
me
upo
n
t
he
r
eali
z
a
t
i
on
t
ha
t
h
e
d
id
n’
t
li
k
e
t
h
e
ide
a
o
f
me
wi
th
an
yo
n
e
el
s
e. An
d
w
e
h
ad
bee
n t
oge
t
he
r
e
v
e
r
s
in
c
e.

I remember the night like it was yesterday. The surprise of Parker crashing my group date—the violent thumping of my heart against my chest as he finally, after what felt like an eternity, gave me the one thing I had been wishing on and hoping on forever…him. When he lowered his lips to mine the first time, fireworks took over my vision. It was everything I could have imagined and more. Nothing was the same after that; it was better.

But we had problems like any normal couples; the deaths in both of our families not only bringing us closer, but pushing us apart in other ways. Not too long after Parker and I became an item I found out an online friendship he had begun with a female from another state named Jacqueline.

Parker had kept their relationship from me, fearful of how I would react to it. I didn’t let it go lightly. In fact, it almost tore us apart. But Parker meant more to me than losing him to some online relationship with a girl he had never even met. I knew my worth; I knew Parker was my soul mate. So I fought for him. He explained to me all the ways Jacqueline helped him through his grief after losing his brother, Bo. I always wished I could have been the one there for him through that tough time, but was thankful for her, nonetheless.

I allowed the friendship to continue in hopes that it would bring Parker and me closer; allowing him to be honest with me about their relationship. And it did; a new trust was formed, tightening our bond with one another.

You caught me,
I typed back timidly.

Please don’t push me away.

My face fell. That was the last thing I wanted but I was angry with the world—I didn’t think I would benefit being around anyone.

I never imagined I would ever be the one pushing Parker away…I had nightmares of it going the opposite way nightly—I woke up in sweats worried I would never be good enough for him.

But losing Mason was like being sawed in half. I lost a huge part of myself the day he died. I wasn’t even sure of what I wanted anymore. Life had lost its appeal.

It’s almost as if I thought that if I tore my life up and fucked up everything good I had going for me it would bring a spark back into my life, a flame. And so that’s exactly what I did.

Purchase
My Forever
Now

Acknowledgements

Kristen, if you hadn’t given me the idea for a prequel to My Forever, this book would have never came to fruition. Thank you so much for that.

Melissa, for being an awesome street team member, beta reader, reviewer, and overall friend. You gave me the confidence I needed to finish this book. You showed me that it was worth it.

I’ve always wanted to write an “ugly cry” novel. I just never knew if I had it in me. You guys showed me that I do. You showed me that I can do anything I put my mind to.

Thank you for always giving me the motivational pushes I need.

Remember that it is never too late to follow your dreams. I firmly believe that if you’re not doing something you love, you’re not really living and I follow that mantra each and every day to the fullest.

Kira Adams

About the author: