Leaving Tracks (20 page)

“I know what you need,” I muttered and even as I met her heated mouth with another kiss
, I trailed my hand down her flat abs to slide into those damn shorts that drove me mad.

She bucked wildly when I cupped her. Her skin was smooth and I nearly lost complete control knowing she had no hair covering her mound. She was so damn hot, and wet. What was left of my control snapped.

Frantic, almost brutally, I pushed two fingers in her and finger fucked her thrusting body. The sounds Hadley made as she climbed towards climax drove me wild with want. I wanted to be inside her. Right fucking now.

I fumbled with my pants without taking my hand out of Hadley’s shorts. I added my thumb to the mix stroking and flicking at her clit. She was so damn close, I felt it in her desperate thrusts, and heard it in the pitch of her voice.

“North, God, North, I…” She didn’t finish. Her body bucked wildly and she threw her head back pushing hard into my hand. When she came, the sound she made nearly had me coming in my pants.

Ruthless, with wild abandon
, I drove her up again with my hand as I yanked her shorts down with my other hand then shed my pants. I yanked my hand out only to mercilessly drive myself into her.

Hadley’s hands twisted in my hair and dragged my face down to hers even as I plunged in and out of her. Her mouth greedily sucked at my lips before her teeth nipped then thrust her tongue into my mouth.

I groaned into her mouth and cupped her ass to pull her closer, to push deeper into her tight, hot little body. Her left leg wrapped around my waist and she met my thrust with equal fervor and strength.

“
Come with me.” I knew she was close, I could see it. I could feel it in the way her muscles squeezed around me. I moved one hand from her ass to her to stroke her clit in time with our bodies.

She began shuddering almost instantly and cried out my name with her second orgasm. With no control left
, I plunged again and released into her.

Shit.

I collapsed onto Hadley and buried my face in her hair. I hadn’t the strength to pull out of her, and since she didn’t seem to mind used the moment to gather my wits. Hadley was going to kill me when she realized I’d just fucked her without a condom.

Her hand was stroking lightly up and down my back. Her body trembled a little under me with the aftershocks of her orgasm. I breathed in the scent of her hair deeply.

“I’m glad one of us can breathe.” She said quietly.

I chuckled, hoped it didn’t sound strained and pushed myself up onto my elbows to look down on her. Her eyes were closed and with my movement
, her hand had moved from my back to rest on my waist. Her lips were swollen and formed into a half smile.

I didn’t know if she felt my stare or not but her eyes opened and met mine.

“Hadley, I’m sorry.”

She tilted her head curiously. “Sorry? Why?” She didn’t seem angry or sad. She looked, well, satisfied.

I sighed and dropped my head to rest my forehead on her collarbone. “I lost my mind and didn’t use a condom.”

“Really?”

I didn’t understand the quirk of her lips. “Yes. I don’t have any diseases…”

“Well that’s handy.” She shifted under me, sliding our still joined bodies closer together, and I inhaled shakily but I couldn’t bring myself to pull out and away from her.

“Hadley,” I tried to keep my wits as her hands reached up to run over the piercings in my nipples.

“I didn’t get a chance to play with these. I hope you’ll let me.”
Her grin was quick and wicked and I felt myself harden all over again.

Just the thought of Hadley suckling and teasing my nipples was almost too much to bear, and my hips moved of their own accord to press harder against her. Her eyes half closed as her breath caught and she whimpered.

“Shit, Hadley,” I forced myself still and shook my head to clear it. “Condom. I’m not wearing a condom. I need to…” Even as I forced myself to pull back to pull out she arced up and pulled me back in.

“Christ
, woman,” I dropped my head and pressed a hard kiss to her mouth. “Condom,” I muttered. “At least let me put one on.”

Hadley sighed and wrapped her left leg tightly around my waist
again. “No need.” She murmured flexing her muscles and causing me to weaken enough to push deeply into her.

She murmured
her approval. “IUD. You can’t get me pregnant.”

Well, fuck. I hadn’t known that. Tonight would be a very, very long night. For both of us. I was looking forward to it.

I
woke instantly
ten minutes to five. Despite not falling asleep until twenty minutes ago, my internal alarm still punctually went off. I would have sighed if I hadn’t been scared of waking the body firmly pressed against my back.

I did internally sigh. I should have…
What, exactly? Fought him off? There was no point in denying the attraction there. And I knew it was more than just his good looks. I liked being in his company. I liked coaching him. He listened, for the most part, and was friendly and easy most of the time.

The problem wasn’t really him. Or not directly him. He wanted that Olympic Gold. I was happy to help him with that. But once he
had it… There was no need for me anymore.

It was more than just professionalism that had kept me away from North. It was fear. I was afraid of getting attached and him leaving. And he would leave. I was broken and he deserved more than that.

“Did you know,” North murmured in my ear, “that the moment you’re awake, your body automatically tenses up.”

“Should I apologize?” I asked in the same low tones he had used.

His head burrowed in my hair a moment before he answered. “No. You should relax and go back to sleep. Unless…” His hand that had been wrapped around my waist drifted lower and I caught his fingers in mine.

“I usually get up about this time.”

“You’re killing me, Hadley. We have two days off. You said so.” He nuzzled kisses along my ear. “Go back to sleep, babe, or you’ll make me cry. It’s way too early to be up.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I replied but tried to relax into his arms. I could do this, I hoped. I closed my eyes and timed my breaths to his. In minutes
, I was asleep.

I jerked upright in bed staring blearily around as the resounding crack of a door slamming reverberated off my walls. The clock next to the bed read a little after eleven. And the bed next to me was empty, but since I heard the shower running I assumed North was in the shower.

Before whoever was slamming my door could make it into my bedroom, I climbed out of bed, attached my leg and grabbed my robe. Funny, I realized as I was buckling the artificial limb, I hadn’t noticed it hadn’t been on when I had awoken earlier. As I stepped into the hall prepared to ream whoever it was slamming into my home I stopped short and stared.

My father scowled back. “You should be up already.”

“I won’t pretend you don’t know I was in St. Paul. I also won’t pretend you’re well aware I take rest days after traveling.” I strode passed him and didn’t stop until I was in the kitchen and fixed my coffee pot.

“What the hell are you thinking?” he asked from the doorway.

I glanced up at him from measuring my coffee. “I want coffee?” Knowing full well it would piss him off.

“I am talking about,” he began through clenched teeth, “that disaster you were telling everyone you were coaching.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I pulled down a mug with a poppy red inside. “I don’t coach disasters.”

“Eighth place is an embarrassment.”

I gave him a disgusted look. “For someone that hasn’t ever skated for competition, eighth place is damn good out of twenty. He did better than I had expected. I’m certainly not disappointed with that performance.”

“Are you mad?”

“At you, yes.” At his face I laughed, “Oh, you mean psychologically. No. I’m not.”

“I absolutely forbid this farce to continue.”

“Fuck off.”

His mouth dropped open.

I nodded, “That’s right. I said it. Fuck off. I’m passed the point you can tell me what to do. I don’t care what you or any of your elite circles thinks. I’m going to do as I please, and this is what I am currently pleased to do.”

He sputtered and pink spots formed on his cheeks. “You. How dare you speak to me that way
?”

“My house.” I said simply, “
My land. My rules. And I don’t recall inviting you in.”

“Should I show him out?” North stood
, a frown on his face, behind my father. His hair was still wet; it dripped a little onto his bare shoulders and ran down his collarbone to an equally bare chest, then down further to be caught in the waistband of his sweatpants.

My father rounded on him. “You are a disgrace.”

North smiled easily. “So my brother is fond of implying. Your words mean nothing to me. You can spout all you want. At the moment though, you’re upsetting Hadley and that I won’t tolerate. So, you can show yourself out, or I can throw you down the stairs while you pray no bones break.”

“You’ll be sorry for this.”

“I’m sorry I forgot to lock the door last night. Rest assured it won’t happen again.” North countered and stepped over to the door to hold it open.

“Last night? Last night?” My father’s voice rose with each word. He would have rounded on me but North grabbed his arm.

“Not that it’s your business, but as Hadley’s coaching, I stay close unless my brothers need me,” North dragged him over to the door easily. “Out. You’re not welcome here until Hadley says you are.”

My father gave North a nasty glare. “You’ll never be what she was.”

“Lucky for me I’m not trying to be.” North gave my father a not so gentle push out the door. “Goodbye, Mr. Becke.”

I watched impassively over my coffee and waited for the door to be firmly closed and locked. “You’ve got a mean streak I wasn’t aware of.”

North walked over and pinned me between counter and himself. “I’m pretty protective of what’s mine. I hope you don’t mind.”

I nearly bobbled my coffee cup at the press of his lean form against mine.
I smiled up at him over the rim instead. “Not at the moment. But I’m sure I will at times.”

“Oh, most definitely. That’s what makes life fun after all.”

H
adley said nothing
of her father’s visit to any of her sisters. Not that I blamed her. They had all been out on various errands and Hadley had been alone. Or, perhaps, they expected me to be here, and trusted I would take care of her while they were out. It was something I’d like to think they did. Otherwise, I’d just get angry at the thought Hadley had been left alone.

Christmas was racing closer and I still hadn’t decided on a gift for Hadley. I didn’t want to make her a Christmas gift as I had her birthday.
While I knew she loved her birthday gift–they sat on her dresser in her bedroom–it didn’t feel right to do it again. Christmas seemed to need more pizzazz than that.

I found my answer when I was in Browns Valley on an errand for Thierry. I was annoyed that I was once again reduced to grunt work for Thierry though it had been a good thing. A jewelry shop window had caught my attention in a way that had it been a week earlier I wouldn’t have noticed.

It took another hour of browsing, selecting, and rejecting to pick out Hadley’s gift, and have it boxed and wrapped. Thierry was of course annoyed with my later than planned arrival home.

“You’re losing focus.” Thierry complained following me into the house. “And you’re never home.”

“I’m in the middle of prepping for my next set of tests. You’ve got my first set of grades and I’m not failing anything. I took some time to finish Christmas shopping. Last I knew, you hadn’t wanted me back by a specific hour or you would have said so.”

Classes were in fact, going excellently. I hadn’t realized I’d like learning additions to my craft as much as I did. Add Hadley’s grueling schedule and I was busy enough not to be bored yet, had enough free time I wasn’t overworked either. Though I couldn’t say the same for Hadley. Or at least it didn’t appear the same for Hadley.

Thierry rolled his shoulders. “You could have at least checked in. How was I supposed to know if you didn’t tell me?”

“Stop nagging him,” Wesley commanded from his place at the oven as we walked into the kitchen. “You’re giving me a
headache. North’s keeping his bargain. No point in having your undies bunched up over it.”

“Whatever.” Thierry grumbled and sat at the table. “Anything important come through while I was outside?”

“Nothing I can’t handle. North,” Wesley turned from pulling his roasted chicken from the oven and stared at me with a serious expression on his face. “I will expect you here in the house for Christmas. I understand you’ve got stuff and blah blah. If you’ve bought a gift for Hadley I suggest you do your gift exchange on Christmas Eve. But I want you here for Christmas.”

“It’s not really too much to ask,” Thierry added
. “Since you spend every waking moment with her, or doing school work. I’m sure you can fit us into your schedule for one damn day.” He stood from his chair and stormed out of the room before I could even open my mouth to speak.

“He misses you.” Wesley
spoke quietly as he set the plates on the table.

I automatically began setting the place settings. “Misses me? Funny way to show it.”

Wesley shrugged. “To each his own. You’ve been hanging out with Hadley for several months now. I expect he’s slightly saddened that he’s losing pieces of you when for the longest time you were only ours. She’s a good girl.”

I frowned at Wesley not really catching his meaning. “Yes, she is.”

Wesley nodded. “Go wash up. Food’s almost ready.”

I was too busy over the next course of days to really think about what my brother had implied. Snow was falling in heavy that required long hours of work to clear. Between our house and the Knifeblade
’s, by the time one was cleared the other needed done again. By the time I was done, I didn’t have the strength for practices.

Hadley was patient and squeezed practice times into the spaces between snowfalls. If I didn’t shovel, I skated. And between shoveling and skating I squeezed in my school work.

The music was low when I entered the rink on Christmas Eve. I knew before looking Hadley was on the ice skating in her gentle dance. And I saw with some surprise Avala and Glory sitting on the bleachers shucking peas and watching Hadley.

“It’s still beautiful.” Avala said to me when I sat next to her.

I nodded. “The first time I saw it, I swallowed my tongue. I couldn’t get the words out. She doesn’t seem to see it though.”

“Hadley’s used to being hard on herself.” Glory commented. “She wouldn’t see beauty in it. She’d think it was flawed because she can’t jump. In a way
, it’s a reminder that she’s broken.”

“She’s not broken.” I said with a bit more venom than necessary. “Ice dancers don’t jump. They’re not broken.”

“She’s not a dancer.” Glory pointed out.

Instead of arguing with her
, I stood and left them there to join Hadley on the ice. There I could pretend if only for a moment that I could skate just as well as her. When the truth was, in the last few weeks I had come to the realization I would never reach the skill Hadley had lost. I wouldn’t ever come close.