Let Me Go (20 page)

He whipped his head around to look at the
guy. If he thought it was bad, it must have been really bad.

“Yeah, man, I didn’t think you had it in you
to be like that,” John agreed.

He turned to Benny, who was staring silently
at him. Mason asked him a silent question –
Was it as bad as I
think it is?

Benny nodded. “Go make it right.” He stood a
moment later and watched his friends leave before he marched toward
Kat’s room.

*****

The door flew open and Mason stood there.
Kat didn’t look up. She couldn’t face him, couldn’t look him in the
eye, not after the events of the last few days, especially after
his words a few minutes before. But, more importantly, she didn’t
want him to see her cry. She felt him kneel down on the floor
beside her. She had fallen to her knees before she even reached the
bed and now her head was in her hands while her legs were pushed up
to her chest.

“Kat,” Mason whispered, but she ignored
him.

“Kat, please look at me.” He tried
again.

“What I said out there…the way I acted-”

She lifted her head sharply, interrupting
him. She didn’t want to hear any more than she had already. He
hated her, wanted her to pay for something she didn’t do, that was
clear. Why she ever thought he was better than that was beyond her
right now, in this moment.

“You win,” she said calmly and he looked
puzzled. “You fucking win, Mason. You win!” She stood up and he
followed suit. “You wanted me broken, you got it!” She approached
him and he didn’t back away. “You wanted a scapegoat for your
problems, here I was, no questions asked, no proof necessary.” She
spoke the words as she began pounding on his chest, tears streaking
her cheeks. “You wanted someone to pay through humiliation and
labor, I did it with a fucking smile on my face.” Her small fists
barely made a dent on his body, but he took each hit, letting her
beat her frustration out on him. “You wanted someone to understand
you and feel for you. Well, you picked the perfect little dummy.
You wanted someone to care about you, to want to be there for you,
to be your friend and then some, well, you had that right here. And
then it turns out it was all one big fucking joke. Let’s play with
the prisoner as much as we can. Let’s see how far we can push her
before she breaks. Because that’s what this was all about, right?
Right? Well, I fucking broke, damn you. And now you have it. You
won; I hope you’re happy because I sure as hell am not. I hate you,
Mason, I hate you.” She punctuated each word with a hard rap on his
chest. He grabbed her arms, forcing her to stop and look at him
while he started to speak.

“Oh, you have some way of showing you hate
me. You think I haven’t noticed you parading around here in nothing
but a towel, trying to seduce me? I won, huh? I can’t even be in my
own place anymore because the place is filled with you, everything
is about you. You think I don’t notice the way you prance around
with your upbeat attitude and the way my friends’ tongues wag
around you? God, I want to rip their eyes out. You think I liked
not being able to fuck some random slut because all I could think
about was you? And I won?” She hadn’t even realized that he had
pinned her against the wall, with her hands in his tight grip above
her head. She was no longer crying, though her eyes were far from
dry. She was panting from her exertion and the impact of his words,
but she could finally see through her tear-filled gaze. Mason was
inches from her, panting as well. His deep green eyes were filled
with pain, with agony. For what, she wasn’t sure.
For caring
about her or for hurting her? Or maybe for his own pain?
And
there it was again, the deep longing that had filled her heart
before. She wanted to take his pain away even when he had caused
her own deep pain. She wanted to reach out and stroke his cheek,
but she couldn’t move. She was pinned against the wall by both
Mason and her own struggles. She parted her lips as if to speak,
but nothing came out. And there it was, Mason’s gaze traveled from
her eyes to her mouth, and the look in his eyes turned from pain to
desire and the next thing she knew, his lips were on hers.

It wasn’t a gentle kiss, it was rough and
hunger-filled. His lips were soft, plump against hers, but the way
he moved against her showed no restraint. She felt every want,
every ounce of passion as he parted her lips with his and stroked
his tongue against hers. She felt weak and dizzy with her own
desire. She had imagined how their first kiss would be. She had
imagined she would seduce him, and he would capture her lips in a
frenzy before claiming her body. Never had she imagined something
like this. She felt the heat of his kiss all the way through her
body. And just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, he
pulled away.

Still panting, his eyes were a mix of desire
and confusion, with a bit of anxiety, “Kat, oh my God, I’m so
sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I took advantage of you in this
state and I’m so sorry.” He dropped his hands from hers and started
to back up.

She hardly registered his words before her
hand came out and captured his wrist. “Don’t be,” she said, her
words breathless from the kiss. And she pulled him back, hard,
before her lips met his.

In the back of her mind, a voice told her
she had won after all, but the pleasure she was experiencing from
Mason’s all-consuming kiss outweighed any voice she heard.
God,
she wanted this. She wanted him.
She deserved this; after all
she had been through, she deserved to feel his affection. She
deserved to have his body moving with hers. So, she fisted his
shirt and started walking forward, causing him to move back. Their
mouths never separated. She pushed him slightly so he was sitting
on the edge of the bed. She looked at him as she began to undress.
She should have been shy; she should have felt insecure, but she
didn’t. When her clothes were off, the look in Mason’s eyes as he
whispered, “You’re beautiful,” was enough to make her feel tingly
all over.

Mason grabbed her arm, pulling her to him
with such force that they both ended up lying on the bed, her on
top of him. He held her close for a minute and then he rolled them
over, so that he was on top. He stared into her eyes, seeming to
make some kind of decision. Then he stood and undressed.
God he
was gorgeous.
His body was meant for the movies, and his face
was meant for the cover of magazines. And here he stood, naked and
glorious in front of her.

“Kat, are you sure you want this?” he asked
tentatively.

“Please.” She nodded.

“You can tell me to stop at any time,” he
reassured her, “and I will.”

“I know. Please, Mason, make love to
me.”

He let out a breath as he moved over her. He
covered her body with his before placing tender kisses along her
neck and jaw. He caressed her body, his featherlight touches
sending her into a tizzy. It had been a long time since Seth, but
even then, it felt nothing like this. This was hot and gentle,
passion and pleasure mixed into one. The way Mason touched her, the
way he held her, she felt like she was on fire. He trailed kisses
down her torso until he reached her navel. Her body jerked
involuntarily as he reached a hand to cup her breast while his
tongue teased her. Slowly, he traveled lower and when he got to her
wet folds, she gasped. “Mason.” That was all she had to say for him
to understand. “Never?” he asked. Ashamed, she shook her head
before turning away.

“Don’t look away. You deserve this and much
more. I want to make you feel good. Please tell me this is all
right.”

“Yes,” she answered, her voice just above a
whisper.

She felt his tongue flick over her, and she
moaned. After a few minutes, he plunged a finger deep into her and
then two, and it wasn’t long before she fell over the edge,
screaming his name as she climaxed.

“Kat, God, you are amazing. I need to be in
you, but I need you to tell me what you want. I need you to be
sure.”

“Yes, Mason, please, I want you.”

He growled, pushed off of her, fumbled
around with his jeans, slipped on a condom, and covered her again
with his body, spreading her thighs with his own. She felt him
nudging her opening with his tip and another moan escaped her lips.
He pushed in slowly, filling her and then stilled. “You are so
tight; I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Please, don’t stop.” And then he didn’t. He
grabbed her hands in his and held onto her as he moved in her. She
felt his breath tickle her neck as he kissed behind her ear. She
felt a pleasure like never before with Mason inside her. She felt
like all the shitty things in her life were worth it just to have
this moment of pure ecstasy. She knew it wouldn’t last, but she
didn’t care. Right now, she didn’t care about anything but the
joining of Mason’s body with her own.

He felt good, he felt right. This felt
right. “Oh, God, Kat, I can’t. You feel so good.” And with his
words, she came; she felt her insides vibrating against Mason as he
pumped a final time and growled as he reached his own climax, her
body milking him as her walls contracted against him.

He collapsed on her momentarily before
settling in beside her.

“Are you all right? Was that okay?” he
asked.

“Yes, that was more than all right.” He
smiled at her response before hugging her to him. She was satiated,
she was spent, and she was in heaven.

“I didn’t sleep with her,” he quietly
murmured.

“What?” she asked.

“I didn’t sleep with that woman last night,
I couldn’t. I kept imagining you, and I couldn’t do it. I haven’t
been with anyone in a long time. I couldn’t, not after what
happened to me. This, you, this is the first time.”

“Oh, Mase.” It was the first time she had
used such a nickname, but it felt right rolling across her tongue.
“I’m so sorry.” Her heart ached with joy and sadness. She was
ecstatic that he hadn’t been with that woman, or any woman for that
matter in a while, but at the same time, her heart broke for him.
He didn’t deserve anything that had happened to him.

“I’m glad it was you,” he whispered before
snuggling up to her.

There was that voice telling her this was her chance
to escape, but she pushed it down because she was glad it was her
too.

Chapter 31

Mason’s eyes
wanted to open as the light poured into the room, but he didn’t
want to wake up. He knew he had dreamed last night, and if he
opened his eyes, the real world would come crashing down upon him.
Being with Kat was amazing, exhilarating, the best feeling in the
world. But it was also wrong, so damn wrong. Finally, with a moan,
he opened his eyes and peered over at Kat, who was still sleeping
peacefully, curled into his side.

He would have liked nothing more than to
stay with her, touch her, brush his fingertips along every inch of
her body, but what had transpired between them shouldn’t have
happened. He wanted it, he needed it, and he was pretty sure she
wanted it too, but it had all happened in the heat of the moment
with passion, anger, and fire in their veins. He had taken
advantage of her, pure and simple. She was his responsibility, and
as such, he shouldn’t have let last night happen. He was her captor
for God’s sake.
How could he have used his position like that
against her?
Because he wasn’t thinking. Because her kisses
were fire, her body was heat, and together they were passion. It
had all felt so good, so right. And thank fucking God he had enough
sense to find the condom he had planned to use on that blonde skank
the night before. The irony was not lost on him that if he hadn’t
meant to purge Kat out of his system, he wouldn’t have had a condom
in the first place. And yet, a part of him wondered if last night
would have happened if he had been unprotected. Either way, it
shouldn’t have.

Yes, he was being hypocritical considering
that this entire scheme consisted of him using his power over her
to break her down so she could feel the kind of pain he had felt.
But that was different. That was mental, nothing physical. He had
never laid a hand on her, never implied he would use his strength
to force her physically in any way. As broken and hurt as he was,
he wasn’t that much of a monster. He had used her vulnerability to
satisfy his own selfish needs. And that was another matter
altogether. He had set out to deny there were any feelings, any
connection between them. He had done all he could think of to push
her away, to make her hate him, to prove he didn’t care.
Some
good that did him.
All it did was bring them closer together
than he ever thought was possible. God, this was a mess. A fucking
mess.
What was he going to do?
He cared about her and wanted
her, but what he had done last night was a bad idea, a very bad
idea. Not to mention the fact that she was still his prisoner.
What the hell was he supposed to do about all that?
And
then, to top it all off, he had accomplished what he had set out to
do. He broke her. He had never seen her lose herself like she had
the previous day; in fact, he had never seen her cry. She had been
right, he had won, and just thinking about it made him feel like
shit.
Great!
He hurt her in the worst possible way and then
proceeded to make love to her instead of comforting her or just
letting her go.
And now what? What the hell was he going to
do?
He couldn’t let her go. Hell, he didn’t want to.

He tried slipping out of bed without waking
her, but as he found his discarded clothing, he heard her breathing
change.

“Morning.” He heard her raspy morning voice
from behind him. He grumbled a morning back without turning. He
didn’t know what to say to her, he couldn’t even look at her. He
felt lost with no direction. He wasn’t sure if he should apologize,
and if he did, where to start.
Oh fuck!
Things had gone from
bad to horrible to amazing to horrid in no time.