Let Me Go (23 page)

“So, she loves you, tell me something I
didn’t know.”

“You always have to be right, huh?” Mason
laughed.

“The sooner you learn that, the easier your
life will become.” Benny chuckled right back.

“Okay, so now what?”

“You love her, right?” Benny asked, but the
way he said it was more like a fact.

“Damn, Benny, this is so fucked up. Yeah, I
love her, but how the hell is that possible?”

“Oh, so you can choose who you fall for, is
that it?” Benny asked sarcastically.

“No, but, fuck! She ruined my life. I
kidnapped her for crying out loud! She was supposed to be revenge.
I was supposed to break her, be happy, and then move on. But she
got to me. She got under my skin. She’s kind, and sweet, and
feisty, and caring, and damn, I love her. Okay, there, I said it. I
love her.”

“She’s not the person who ruined your life,
Mason. At least not anymore. People change, they become different
people. She’s great, wonderful even. Hell, I half-love her. And
somehow, she has forgiven you for taking her and keeping her
captive. And not only that, but she had a chance to escape and
didn’t. That’s love, real love. Even without her words, it’s
obvious that you are it for her. Is she it for you?”

Mason didn’t really have to think about that
answer, but the fact that he wanted to shout, “YES,” gave him
pause
. When the hell did he fall for Kat?
It didn’t matter.
He loved her, and he needed to fix things.

“Yes, Benny, she is.”

“Well, then, what the hell are you talking
to me for, go tell her how you feel.”

“I can’t just tell her. What good are
words?”

“Oh, damn, I have to spell everything out
for you, huh? Fucking show her you love her.”

“Oh yeah, and how do you propose I do
that?”

“Show her that you choose her. Fuck, I could
tell you exactly what I’d do, but I think it would be better if you
came up with it yourself. You’re a pretty damn fine guy, Mason, and
smart too. Just get your head out of the clouds for a few minutes
and you’ll figure it out.”

“You’re right, and I think I know what to
do.”

He spent the next week figuring out the
details, preparing, and most importantly, giving himself pep-talks.
He hoped Kat would hear him out and understand. He hoped she would
agree. He was pretty sure she would, given her actions, but one
could never know.
Damn
, he was a nervous wreck. And then she
walked out of her room and she stole his breath away. She was a
vision. She was an angel, sent to turn his shitty life around. And
she loved him. She was smiling. And she was his.

*****

Kat took her time getting ready, doing her
hair and makeup, and then putting on the exquisite dress. She gave
herself a nod of approval as she looked in the mirror and then
walked out of the room.

When Mason saw her, he lit up like a kid on
Christmas and it made her heart soar. She looked at the dining
table, where there were candles and flowers and an elaborate set-up
for dinner. He did all this for her.

“What is the occasion?” she asked as she
stepped up to him and he hugged her close.

“I want to kiss you, but you are too
beautiful to touch.”

She kissed him and when she did, she felt a
shock pass through their lips. Something was different, different
in a good way. She felt his warm breath against her lips as he
exhaled and sighed in relief. She could stay like this forever, she
thought to herself. This was perfect.

“Shall we?” he asked and took her arm and
led her the few steps to the table. He pulled her chair out for her
before serving her and then himself.

“You didn’t answer my question, is there
something special about today?”

“Yes, actually there is, but let’s eat, and
then I’ll tell you.”

She obliged, and they feasted on steak and
chicken and grilled vegetables. She felt like she was in an upscale
restaurant right here at home.
Home.
Funny how that word
sounded in her mind. This was her home.

When dinner was over, Mason stood up and
turned on a slow song. He made his way over to Kat and asked, “May
I have this dance?”

She bit her lip to hide her enormous smile
as she allowed him to guide her to the living room. They danced to
a beautiful song whose words spoke of a one-and-only love. This was
wonderful. This was amazing. Kat felt like she could walk on water.
And then the song ended and Mason pulled back a bit. He tucked a
stray strand of her hair behind her ear, but he was shaking.

“Is everything all right?”

“Yes, actually, more than all right,” he
said and then led her to the couch and sat down facing her. “Kat,
damn, I had this whole elaborate speech in my head, but looking at
you now, I can’t remember a single word. I know what we have here
is unconventional and strange and the definition of every weird
name in the book. How this all came about, our history, how this
even started, is stuff for movies and Lifetime TV, and yes, I
actually know what the heck Lifetime is.” He laughed as one of her
eyebrows rose. “From the minute you entered my life this time
around, I’ve been different. You are not the woman I thought you
were, you are so much more. You are beautiful and smart and funny
and you don’t let me push you around. You are extremely caring and
compassionate and you see the good in everything. You take whatever
life hands you with a smile on your face. And the more time I’ve
spent with you, the better I have gotten to know you. And the more
I know you, the more I want to be around you. Somewhere along the
way, I fell for you. Kat, I love you. I love everything about you.
I’m in love with you.”

Tears were falling freely down her cheeks as
he spoke. His words were beautiful, everything he said made her
feel like she was special, but his final words were the deal
breaker.

She grabbed him and hugged him. “I love you
too. I love you, Mason,” she told him as she assaulted his lips
with her own, crushing him into a soul-searing kiss. And she felt
it, she felt his love. She felt the walls around her heart shatter.
She felt the weight lifted off her chest. This was perfect. The
moment was perfect. He was perfect. They were perfect.

After a few minutes of passionate kisses, he
pulled away. “Wait, as much as I want to carry you into the other
room and make love to you, I’m not done.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a
box. It was too big to be a ring box, and Kat exhaled. She was
pretty sure if he asked, she would marry him in a heartbeat, but
she wasn’t ready for that. They weren’t ready for that. She was
still his captive, technically. They had a long way to go for that
sort of commitment.

He handed her the box and she opened it to
find a set of keys. She looked up, bewildered.

“Kat, I want you to stay with me.”

“I’m already here,” she answered.

“Yes, but I want you to choose to be here. I
want you to live with me, but not as a prisoner, not as a captive.
I want this to be your home. I want to wake up with you every
morning and go to sleep next to you every night, but not because I
grabbed you one night and circumstance forced you to be here. I
want you to be here because you want to be. I want this to be your
home too, not just mine. These keys, they are to all the doors and
windows. We can even replace them all so they aren’t such a pain to
open, but they are yours. You can come and go as freely as you
want, just say you’ll move in with me for real.”

This was everything she wanted. She couldn’t
have asked for more. Every fiber of her being was singing, every
nerve felt like it was feeling something amazing. Not only did
Mason love her, he wanted her to be free, but to choose him.
Didn’t he already know there was no choice?
She would be
with him forever. She would choose him always. She already had. But
now, he chose her too. He was giving her the greatest gift – he was
giving her freedom – knowing she might walk out that door and never
come back, and yet, he was taking the risk. He was showing her just
how much he loved her.

He must have misunderstood the silence
because he started speaking again, almost stuttering his words. “I
know you might not feel the same way, I know you might want to take
these keys and leave. And if that’s the case, then I’ll accept it,
but Kat, I love you, and I know you love me. I want us to have a
real relationship.”

She opened her mouth to speak, to tell him
she wanted that too, but he cut her off.

“And, Kat, I truly am sorry for all the
times I’ve hurt you, but I can’t be sorry for everything I’ve done.
I don’t regret it because it’s what brought you to me. If it wasn’t
for everything that happened from the very beginning, eight years
ago until now, I wouldn’t have you. We wouldn’t have had the
opportunity to get to know each other, and I wouldn’t have fallen
hopelessly, madly, in love with you. I just hope you can forgive me
for everything I’ve done to you for the same reason, and say you’ll
move in with me.”

“Oh, Mase, there is nothing to forgive.
Sure, we had some bumpy moments, but I wouldn’t have changed the
past months either because I love you too.”

“You still haven’t said anything about
moving in with me. If it’s the past you’re worried about, don’t be.
Like I said, whatever happened eight years ago is history. In fact,
it’s fine because we are together now. It’s in the past. I forgive
you for taking away that life because you aren’t that person
anymore and in fact, you gave me this life instead.”

His words were like ice running through her
veins. He might as well have doused her with cold water
. There
was nothing to forgive, couldn’t he see that? She literally wasn’t
that person!
And until he knew that, it would always hang
between them. God, she wanted so badly to hold onto him. She wanted
nothing more than to hug him, kiss him, make love to him, and never
leave him. But she couldn’t stay here without knowing the truth.
And she had to figure it out. She had to prove to him it wasn’t
her.

He must have read the change in her emotion
because suddenly, he was sweating and wringing his hands. “Kat,
please say something, anything, even if it’s bad. Please tell me
what you want. I’ll do anything. Just tell me what I can do. Tell
me what you want from me.”

“Mason,” she replied slowly and carefully,
“it’s not that I’m not that person anymore, it’s that I’m not that
person period. There is nothing for me to forgive because I
understand why you did all this; someone hurt you and betrayed you
and ruined your life, but they brought us together, and for that
I’m thankful to them, and thankful to you. But you have to
understand, that wasn’t me. There is nothing for you to forgive
either because whoever did this to you used me as the scapegoat,
clearly, but no matter how many times I’ve told you this, something
has been stopping you from believing me. I can’t and I won’t have
this over our heads. I can’t have this doubt constantly in the back
of our minds, looming over us, taunting us.”

“Kat, please, it doesn’t matter anyways,
whether it was you, or someone else…who cares? We have each other
and that’s all that matters. We can overcome this together. Please
just tell me what to do to make this right for you. I’ll turn
myself in, I’ll go back to jail, I’ll buy a new place, anything. I
love you. Just tell me what I can do. I’ll do anything,
please.”

She pushed back her own pain and insecurities, she
pushed back the bile in her throat and said the words she knew were
going to hurt both of them. “Let me go.”

Chapter 35

Kat had been
curled up in a ball, crying her eyes out for the past two days.
Mason had let her go, like she asked. But it wasn’t that simple. He
wanted her to at least stay with him until she could figure things
out, but she knew it would hurt her more to be around him and not
be with him. She couldn’t be with him until this whole mess was
settled. So, she had packed up some things and he took her to a
hotel. Given she had no money, he gave her some, and put the hotel
on his credit card.

He begged and pleaded with her to change her
mind, to just be happy with him, but she knew she could never truly
be happy until she knew the truth. It didn’t mean she wasn’t
hurting like hell. For close to a year, Mason had been her whole
world. Sure she didn’t like everything about the circumstances, but
she was used to them, she was comfortable and safe. And now that
she loved Mason, it was incredibly hard to just up and leave. When
all that had sunk in, when she fell onto the hotel bed, the tears
started coming and didn’t stop.

Now the tears had dried up, thanks to Benny,
and she was ready to figure things out. Benny had come by a few
hours ago. Mason had found her an apartment, got her a phone, which
had Benny’s and Mason’s numbers already programmed in there just in
case, and set up a very hefty bank account for her. She didn’t want
to take it, but Benny could be very persuasive. He had informed her
that in Mason’s prior life, he had tons of money and although he
had used up quite a bit on his defense, he still had a substantial
amount left, so he wouldn’t be hurting. He also pointed out the
fact that she had no job and no way of living on her own, so she
had no choice but to take it. He might have also slipped in the
fact that Mason would be extremely worried and heartbroken if she
didn’t make use of the apartment and money. She really didn’t have
much of a choice.

Benny was also good at comforting. He hugged
her while she cried.

“Kitty Kat, why are you doing this? You’re
hurting, he’s hurting. Wouldn’t it be better if you just went back
and let the poor guy off the hook?”

“It’s not like that,” she answered.

“Then what’s it like? Because I am sure as
hell confused here. I’m going to preface this by telling you that I
know what you’ve been saying and whether I believe you or not
doesn’t matter, but for arguments sake, let’s say you accused the
guy of falsely raping you years ago and ruined his life. He kidnaps
you to get his revenge and keeps you prisoner for almost a year. He
forgives you, you forgive him, and you find love. So then why did
you walk away?”