Let Me Go (21 page)

“Gonna jump in the shower,” he said and then
rushed out of the room.

*****

Well, that was awkward,
Kat thought
to herself as Mason rushed out the door. She had woken just a
minute before and the memories from last night flooded her mind. It
was bliss. She couldn’t help but feel satisfied. Her body was
sated, her feelings were intact, and she felt alive again.
Mason
cared! He truly cared!
She was elated by both this knowledge
and the fact that that meant it was back to “game on.”

She should have felt dirty at that thought;
she should have felt like her body had just been used for a higher
purpose, but as she looked at Mason’s back while he put on his
pants, she couldn’t. He had treated her body like it was a temple.
She had loved Seth, but he had never made her feel the way Mason
had made her feel with one encounter.

But then Mason couldn’t get away from her
fast enough. Her heart dropped. She had no idea what the heck
happened between last night and this morning that had him pulling
away again.

She didn’t know, but she was going to find
out.

*****

The next few days were completely confusing
and frustrating for Kat.  She tried everything she could to
figure out what the heck was wrong with Mason, who had once again
become distant.  She also tried everything she could think of
to get him to notice her, to care about her, to take her
again.  She needed him to want her, desire her, and need
her.  He had to be consumed by her so that he would fall in
love, and she could then ask him to let her go and if he really
loved her, he would.  If he could barely look at her, though,
then it was like taking one step forward and about a hundred steps
back.  He had been so kind and so gentle with her.  She
had felt his passion and his desire when they had been together.
The only thing that kept her from giving up hope was the fact that
whenever she caught him looking at her, he looked guilty. Sometimes
even lost, though he had desire in his eyes a few times. 
What the hell was he guilty of?
  She couldn’t figure it
out, but the fact that she caught him glancing at her was proof
enough that she shouldn’t give up.

Finally, after a few days, she couldn’t take
it.  Mason was sitting in the living room, reading a newspaper
when Kat marched over to him, dishrag still in hand from cleaning
up the kitchen.  She flung it at the newspaper and Mason
looked up with both curiosity and amusement.

“I can’t take it anymore!” she whined.

“Not following,” Mason answered, one of the
few times he had spoken to her in the past few days.

“Mase,” she continued with the newfound
nickname she had used when they had been intimate. “You are hot,
you are cold, you push me away, you reel me in, you can’t look at
me, you can’t let go.  Which is it?  We had something.
Something special has been happening between us for a while
already. I’m not sure what the hell you were doing, but you pushed
me away.  I was all but ready to give up on you, on us, on
whatever the hell was happening between us, but then, the other
night, you and me.  That was real, I felt it.  I know you
did too. Unless it was just you trying to placate me so that I
wouldn’t put up another fuss.  If that’s the case, then
please, at least have the decency to tell me.  I deserve that
much.”

Mason was quiet for a moment, seeming to
process what Kat had just said.  Finally, he spoke. “Kat,
being with you was wonderful and it was in no way me using
you.  But this, us, this situation is fucked up.  For all
intents and purposes, I am, as you’ve called me several times, your
captor.  We can’t… we shouldn’t be together like that. 
And it was all my fault.  I took advantage of you. Being with
you consumed every fiber of me, but I should have pulled
away.  It was wrong of me to have put you in that
position.”

“Stop,” Kat called out and even put up her
hand as if to tell him to say no more.  She walked closer to
him and although Mason was sitting down, he sat up straighter,
leaning toward her as she stood right in front of him.

Kat didn’t even realize she had stepped
closer to him until she was staring into his deep green eyes. 
There was a pull, an invisible cord that seemed to draw her to him.
The way he was craning his neck back, she knew he felt it
too.  She had gotten her answer.  He felt like he had
wronged her.  He had wronged her on several occasions, first
by kidnapping her, then by his harsh words and actions and by
pushing her away, but not by making love. 
No, that hadn’t
been wrong.
  And more importantly, it had suited her
greater purpose.  She had wanted it.

She cupped his cheek. “Nothing happened that
I didn’t want to happen.”  She bent down so that she was at
his level.  She took his hand with her free hand and placed it
over her heart.  “You feel my heart racing?  That’s for
you.  I wanted this, I wanted you.  I still do,” she
whispered as they both seemed to move so that there was only a
breath between their lips.  “Mason,” she murmured his name
softly like a plea and that was all it took before his lips found
hers.  And as passion once again consumed Kat, she heard that
tiny inner voice telling her she won the battle, and it was only a
matter of time before she won the war.

Chapter 32

The next month
was pretty weird for Kat. She was sleeping with Mason.
She was
fucking sleeping with Mason!
She wasn’t sure what she had
expected to happen, but this hadn’t been it. She had hoped that
after a couple of days, he would fall madly and passionately in
love with her and that would be the end of it. But that hadn’t
happened. Things weren’t even all that different; she still cleaned
and cooked and was the all-around maid. But at the same time,
things had changed. Now, more often than not, she slept in Mason’s
bed where he spent every night exploring every inch of her body.
They had even christened places around the house quite a few times.
Kat would be lying if she said she wasn’t enjoying it. When they
were together, he treated her as an equal, as a lover. She felt
cherished, loved even. She didn’t feel dirty about using her body.
In fact, she didn’t really feel like she was using herself at
all.

The only other thing that had changed was
his attitude. Gone was the moody, brooding Mason, and in its place
was the nice, friendly one pretty much all the time. But that was
about it. When they weren’t sleeping together, they still played
the prisoner and captive role. Well, that wasn’t entirely true; she
cared for Mason and every day that passed, her frustration at the
lack of change in their routine was starting to get to her. It also
didn’t help that she was doubting herself. She really thought that
he should have shown some kind of extra affection toward her by
now. He should have taken away some chores or told her that she
didn’t have to work if she didn’t want to. They were lovers after
all.
Shouldn’t that mean something?

And just when she was at her breaking point,
things did start changing. After that initial month, he came home
one day with a bunch of shopping bags. He handed them to her as she
looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“I got some help from the sales lady, but I
thought you’d be more comfortable in these clothes than the things
I’ve been having you wear all this time.” She didn’t have to even
look in the bags to be blown away. Such a simple gesture, but it
was enough. He was taking down one of his walls.

She smiled and tore into the bags. There
were jeans and t-shirts, shorts, blouses, dresses, and even some
shoes. Of course, it wasn’t all necessarily what she would have
picked for herself, but that wasn’t the point. He had cared enough
to want to make her feel comfortable; he had cared enough to take
away the condition of what clothing she was required to wear; he
had cared enough to take the time and put in the effort to try to
find things she would like to wear.

She set it all down and then took a running
start and leaped into his arms. She planted a bruising kiss on his
lips as she said, “Thank you,” against his mouth.

At first he was stunned, his body tight, but
then his hands came around and cupped her ass and she felt him
smile against her lips and kiss her back. “You’re welcome,” he
responded between kisses.

“I love it all!” She opened her mouth again,
almost to say, “I love you,” but she clamped her mouth shut.
She
didn’t love him! Yes, she cared, damn did she care, but love?
No!
He had showed her kindness, real kindness when she didn’t
expect it and that surely was the reason those blasted words almost
escaping her mouth.

“I’m glad. You never have to wear this silly
thing again,” he said, meaning the stupid French maid outfit.
“Unless of course, you wanted to, like in the bedroom or something,
then who am I to stop you?” He smiled and she laughed.

That was the start of changes to come. For
the next month, he took away small restrictions. They were all
little things, but that was enough for Kat. She could deal with
small steps. She could deal with a slow process, as long as it was
happening. And it was. They started eating their meals together;
they sat together reading; they watched movies and television
together; she went outside to the backyard whenever she wanted. She
still had to be led out, but if she asked, he took her with no
hesitations. They were making progress.
It was only a matter of
time before he would love her
, she told herself. He would love
her, confess it to her, and she’d tell him he had to let her go.
That was what all this was about, after all, being able to escape
this situation. She didn’t understand the crappy feeling she got in
the pit of her stomach every time she thought about her end goal.
Why did her heart squeeze just a bit when she thought about
finally getting out of this prison she had called home for so
long?
It was because she was just used to this place by now,
used to this routine, and used to Mason, Benny, and even Chain and
John. She was used to cooking and cleaning, she was used to
cuddling up to Mason as his lips trailed light kisses along her
back when he thought she was sleeping, his warm breath caressing
her body. Damn stupid Stockholm syndrome was rearing its ugly head
again. She just wanted to enjoy whatever life she had for now until
she could earn her freedom.
Was that really so bad? So
wrong?
Mason was complicated and misunderstood, but she saw
through that. It was natural that she cared about him. It couldn’t
be more. She wouldn’t let it.

Chapter 33

Mason had hated
his birthday for a long time now. He hated it when he was on trial,
he hated it while he was in prison, and he sure hated it ever since
he had been released. He used to love it; he’d throw a big party,
he’d be surrounded by friends, colleagues, and throngs of beautiful
women throwing themselves at him. It was wonderful. Now, he had
vile memories that filled his birthday that consisted of his
“special” birthday present while he was locked up. Now, he just
remembered that he was getting a year older each time with nothing
really going for him. He was a has-been, and his true friends were
all involved in some kind of sketchy activity. He only had a
handful from his old life, and he was now a kidnapper who was
sleeping with the willing captive. The sad part was that he loved
every minute he got to spend with Kat. He loved the way she looked
at him like she could devour him; he loved the way she glided
across the room like she was a ballerina in another life; he loved
the way she smelled; and he loved the way she felt wrapped up in
him. He took a job on his birthday, needing the distraction, and by
the time he made it home, he was so beat that he had actually
forgotten.

The minute he opened the door to his home he
was greeted by a siren, a very naked siren. She was a vision, and
he was stunned for a second. All the air in his lungs was momentary
suspended. Maybe he liked his birthday after all. Maybe this one
wouldn’t be so awful.

“Happy Birthday, Mason,” Kat cooed, snapping
him back to attention. She stood just a few feet in front of him
with a giant red bow around her neck and cake in her hands.

“Unfortunately, the gift shop around here
didn’t have a huge selection, so I didn’t really have a lot to work
with,” she joked.

“Oh I don’t know, looks like you figured it
out all right,” he responded as he dropped his stuff on the floor
and closed the distance between them. “How’d you know it was my
birthday?”

“Benny.” He nodded. He figured it was him,
but was just confirming. “I made dinner, but I had a feeling it
might not be eaten right away, so I put it away to warm up later if
we work up an appetite,” she told him.

“Good idea,” he mumbled as his lips inched
closer to her.

“Well, like I said, the gift shop here
sucks, so I made a cake, which you can have before…after…or during
me, which, as I’m sure you can tell, is the real present. I’m all
yours, Mase.”

He kissed her then, not really caring that
he almost smashed the cake between them. He was on fire, and she
did this to him. He wanted to consume her, take her, and bury
himself in her. He wanted to kiss every inch of her, trail his
fingers along her body, and claim her as his.

“I take it you like your gift?” she asked
between kisses.

“Very,” he growled. “Oh, and about the cake,
definitely during,” he smirked as he took her hand and led her to
the bedroom.

*****

They spent the next hour exploring each
other, making love, and eating the cake off of each other. It may
have been even longer, but Kat had lost track of time. Every time
she was with Mason, she felt closer and closer. But something about
tonight had been extra special. She felt like he was giving her all
he had to offer and more. He told her multiple times how much he
appreciated the effort she put in to making his birthday special.
He told her how much he cared for her. He even told her how happy
he was with her around. He had never told her such things before,
even though his actions had proven that over and over.
This was
finally it.
She could feel it, if he didn’t love her yet, it
was just around the corner.
And then she was out!