Life of the Party (30 page)

My family could
just go and screw themselves.

With that happy
monologue running through my head, I entered the reception hall in
a much better mood. Everyone was filing in by then, the hall was
noisy with the din of talk and laughter and the harsh sound of
chairs scraping against the wooden floor as people found their
seats. It smelt like buffet, like vegetables and chicken and
coffee.

The evening
passed in a blur. We graduates were called in one at a time to take
our places at a long table stretching the length of the hall. We
were served plates of food while our families went through the
buffet. We ate, sat through some speeches, and then had to suffer
through like a trillion pictures. I ended up making a few trips to
the bathroom in between, as the coke didn’t last near as long as I
had hoped.

With the
reception finally concluded, we crossed the park to the large
auditorium where the ceremony was to take place. I was a bit
nervous because I knew that Grey and Charlie would be there. This
time, we had to enter the auditorium escorted by our parents. We
lined up in alphabetical order down the hallway, waiting for the
ceremony to begin, my mom on one side of me and my dad on the
other.

“Are you
getting a cold, Mackenzie?” Mom wondered at one point as I was
rubbing my nose. “You keep sniffling.”

“Maybe.” I
answered quickly and dropped my hand. “Yeah, that must be it.”

“Well, remind
me to get you some Echinacea later.”

“Sure. Thanks.”
I nodded.

Eventually it
was our turn to enter. We walked to the archway, where our picture
was snapped, and then I headed across the front by myself and was
taken up the steps to the stage by a guy from our class. I found my
seat and sat down; relieved I hadn’t tripped in my heels. The
lights were hot. I couldn’t believe how many people were there, I
stared out in amazement at the sea of strange faces.

Our grad theme
was “Shoot for the Moon.” I hope Charlie appreciated that. I’m
pretty sure it was from the quote, “Shoot for the moon—even if you
miss, you’ll end up among the stars,” which was nice and all, but
really, what did it even mean? I hoped whoever was singing had
picked a nice moon-themed song to go along with it, but in the end
she sang
Good Riddance
, by Green Day. I liked the song, it
was a good choice.

I looked in
vain for Grey and Charlie throughout, but they were impossible to
discern in the dimly lit auditorium. Nevertheless, when my name was
called to receive a diploma from the principle, I could hear them
cheering even above the smattering of applause. I blushed and rose
to shake the principle’s hand, sure that what he gave me was just a
blank rolled up piece of paper and not an actual diploma.

Some kids from
our class got up afterwards and gave the traditional Most Famous
For speech, singling us out one at a time and saying a few words
about our most typical behaviours. There were a few predictable
ones, like “staying home because of a bad hair day,” “freaking out
over exams,” “having a new truck every year,” that kind of
stuff.

But then, it
was Riley’s turn.

“Riley
McIntyre. Without a doubt, Riley McIntyre is most famous for …
being with Mackenzie Taylor. Any year for as long as we can all
remember, it doesn’t matter when, if you’re looking for Riley,
you’ll find him with Mackenzie ….” My classmate was reading from
her paper in a sweet for-the-crowd kind of voice, totally oblivious
that she was breaking my heart a little more with every word she
spoke. I bit my lip, wondering if Riley felt the same way as I
did.

I dreaded my
Famous For as soon as I heard Riley’s—I just knew it would be
similar. I braced myself for it.

“Mackenzie
Taylor. Mackenzie Taylor is most famous for … being with Riley
McIntyre. As you can see, they’re completely inseparable, even when
Mackenzie insists on skipping school as much as she does, he’ll
still be with her ….”

Holy crap. Were
they kidding? Really? I stared down at the floor and felt my face
blush bright crimson, waiting out the awkward moment until the
audience laughed and they moved on to the next student. The entire
student body was either totally oblivious or that list had been
made up months ago. Riley and I were anything but inseparable now,
a grim reminder I certainly didn’t need. I crossed my arms and
hugged myself, wishing that the stupid kids would get off the
stupid stage so this could be done already and I could go get
high.

The worst was
that the Christian knew. She knew that Riley’s and my supposed
inseparability simply wasn’t the truth. I could practically feel
her gloating from a few rows behind me. Just for the record, she
was proclaimed the most famous for … “being sweet.” Being “chubby”
or “a Christian” must have already been taken, the only other two
attributes I would’ve likened to her.

By the time the
ceremony had come to a close and we headed, single file, down the
stairs and up the aisle, I was in desperate need for some more
blow. I ducked out of the line and into the bathroom before anyone
could notice I was missing.

But someone
noticed. Sure, when I wanted his attention, Riley was nowhere to be
found, but when I was trying clandestinely to be alone and sneak
away, he came looking for me. He was standing in the hall outside
the bathroom when I re-emerged, his arms crossed as he leaned
against the wall.

“You okay?”
Riley surprised me by asking. He did look sincerely concerned.

“Yeah. Why
wouldn’t I be?” I played dumb.

“I don’t know,
I just, I saw you running to the bathroom, and I thought maybe you
were upset, about what they said up there ….”

“Oh. No, I
mean, it was totally awkward, but … whatever.” I shrugged, like it
didn’t matter. My nose burned, and I rubbed at it without
thinking.

“Right.” Riley
eyed me suspiciously. “So … What were you doing in there,
Mackenzie?”

“Um, going to
the bathroom.” I chuckled casually. “That’s what people normally do
in a bathroom.”

“Yeah right.”
He scoffed angrily. “You’re lit up, aren’t you?”

“Ha!” I laughed
again, good and high now. “Of course not.”

“Don’t. Don’t
lie to me. I can tell that you are.” He shook his head, as if he
were disappointed or something. “Sweet. So you’re into the blow
now, hey? Like, all the time? Nice. Good choice.”

“Thanks.” I
shrugged. I didn’t care for his judgement, but really, I was
feeling too good to let it get to me. I shook my head at him. “So,
are you and your Christian ready to head off into the sunset yet or
what?”

“Ugh … why do
you call her that?”

“That’s what
she is, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but
that’s not all she is. Maybe if you got to know her—”

I scoffed.
“That is not going to happen.”

“You’d probably
end up liking her. Would that be so bad?”

“Yes.”

He shook his
head. “Fine. Whatever. She’s better than your supposed boyfriend,
anyway.”

“What?”

“You heard
me.”

I glared at
him. “You have some friggin’ nerve, Riley. Why would you … what
even makes you say that?”

“Yeah, what
could it be? I’ll just pick one from the hundreds of reasons. He’s
totally irresponsible. Letting you ride on the back of his bike
like that? What if you’d fallen off?”

“He wouldn’t
have let me fall.” I defended. “It’s no big deal Ry.”

“Right. Right,
I forgot. He can do no wrong, can he?” Riley stated wryly.

“It was my idea
anyway.”

“Okay, then,
how about getting hooked on coke? Was that your idea too?”

“No!” My voice
rose in frustration. I dropped my hands hopelessly. “No. I’m not
hooked on coke. Riley … I can’t … ugh … I can’t do this with you
anymore.”

It was just too
hard. It didn’t seem to matter how many times we swore off our
friendship, because we were still inevitably drawn to each other,
even now, even when we both knew it would cause us nothing but pain
and frustration. We couldn’t sever the ties of our relationship no
matter how doomed it was, and we seemed destined to act out the
same argument time and time again, to live in a state of constant
conflict with no reconciliation in sight. Because we were afraid.
Afraid to really end it, to end us, even though that was exactly
what we needed.

I had to get
away from him. I turned and started walking, suddenly in desperate
need of the cool night air on my skin. I felt heated to the very
core, and mixing words and feelings with Riley was not helping,
even despite the coke-buzz. I pushed my way through the crowded
foyer and out the front doors. It was pleasantly calm and cool
outside, dim with the dwindling light that remained from the
sunset. I breathed deep the sweet evening air.

“Mac, wait up.”
Riley called to me through the mass. He caught up quickly. “I’m
sorry. Please. I don’t want to leave it this way with you.”

“I don’t think
we have a choice, Riley.” I realized grimly. “We can’t even talk to
each other without one of us getting upset. You should … you should
just go.”

“I know, I am,”
he grabbed my hand to stop me, “I’m going … we’re going, tonight.
We’re going to the airport in half an hour.”

This news was
shocking to me. I had known he was leaving, but I hadn’t
anticipated so soon. I stared up at him, suddenly speechless. It
was the answer to our problems, his leaving, but I wished it didn’t
have to be so. I would’ve given anything in that moment to make him
stay, despite everything else.

“Riley—”

“I know. I
know.”

“But … will …”
I bit my lip. “Will you be coming back?”

“I don’t know.
Probably. We’ll come visit at holidays and stuff.”

“Will I see you
then?”

“Maybe.” He
relented. “If I know where you are … and if you’re still alive by
then.”

“Of course I’ll
be alive.” I rolled my eyes.

“We’ll see.”
Riley frowned. His dark eyes focused on me seriously, like there
was something else he wanted to say. He opened his mouth to speak.
But then, from amongst the throng, I could hear someone calling his
name. The Christian was calling him, beckoning him away from
me.

It was time for
Riley to leave.

“I don’t want
to say goodbye.” He admitted. He looked torn.

“Just say it
and get it over with.” I demanded. The coke must have been wearing
off, because I could feel again. And I didn’t like what I felt,
like my very heart was hurting, like it was throbbing with pain. I
took a deep breath.

Riley wrapped
me in a sudden, fierce hug. I couldn’t believe the strength in his
arms as he held me tightly to him. I snuggled into the chest of his
tuxedo, fighting with all my might to keep from crying all over
him. For that moment, I was safe again in my best friend’s arms and
everything was right between us. I clung to the moment. I clung to
my friend.

“You be careful
on that bike.” Riley whispered in my ear. He kissed the top of my
hair and then he let me go. He pulled away from me and I was all
alone again, cold and exposed. I wrapped my arms around myself and
gave him a weak smile, blinking furiously to keep from crying.

Riley walked
away. Towards the Christian. I couldn’t watch him go; I turned away
and looked up at the calm, quiet night, seeking solace from my
sudden emotional upheaval in its dim, dark stillness. It wasn’t
enough though. I needed something more, I needed the blissful
numbness and complete tranquility that only more cocaine could
bring to me.

“Hey,
gorgeous.” A different pair of strong arms suddenly wrapped around
my waist and pulled me close. Despite everything, I found myself
smiling and curving up against the warm strength behind me—less
alone now, less exposed. Riley was gone, but I still had Grey.

He kissed my
cheek. “You okay?” He wondered.

“Yeah.” I
decided quietly. At least, I would be. “Riley just left.”

“I figured.” He
hugged me tightly.

“Grey?”

“Yeah?”

I sighed
heavily. “Will you take me away from here?

“I’ll take you
anywhere you want to go.”

I met Grey and
Charlie at her car. I had basically bypassed my family, finding
them only to say goodbye so at least my relatives wouldn’t be
offended. My parents looked a bit put off by my abrupt departure,
probably because I left before they could enforce their intended
curfew. I walked as quickly as I could in my sky-high heels towards
Charlie’s sedan.

“Congratulations!” She smiled and wrapped me in a hug, which lasted
a bit long for just a celebratory embrace. Grey must have told her
about the whole Riley scene. “You okay?” She wondered quietly.

“Yeah, I’m
good.” I nodded, pushing the sadness away. I added a smile. “About
to be even better.”

“That’s my
girl.” She laughed and opened the passenger door for me. Grey
climbed in the back as Charlie got in to drive. We sat for a moment
and all lit a smoke.

“So, what’d you
think of our grad theme? Pretty cheesy, huh?” I giggled.

“Shoot for the
moon. I’d say its green cheesy. ” Charlie laughed. She put the car
in reverse and backed out the parking lot. “Are you sure you don’t
want to stay for your grad party?”

“Are you
kidding me? No thanks. I actually want to party tonight.” I blew my
smoke out the opened window, the warm wind washing in. “It’s going
to be this super lame dance where you can’t even drink if you’re
not of age, which I’m not.”

“Well, then,
I’m afraid you’re just going to have to party with us.” Charlie
winked at me. “We’re going to Grey’s house.”

I giggled
excitedly. “Shot for shot again, is it?” I challenged her.

“Baby, I could
out drink you any day. Don’t you remember last time?”