Life's a Beach (25 page)

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Authors: Claire Cook

Tags: #Humorous, #Fiction, #Romance, #Humorous fiction, #Massachusetts, #Sisters, #Middle-aged women, #General, #Love Stories

BOOK: Life's a Beach
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“Hey, my feet feel fine.”

Riley came out of the bathroom and handed his mother the hair gel. “Can you do this? It gets my hands all sticky.”

It hadn’t seemed to bother him before his mother got here. I probably would have done a great job on his hair gel if he’d asked. “Meet you in the car,” I said.

We got to the set in time to have breakfast, and as soon as we finished, Geri and Riley headed over to get his stump attached. I’d brought my earring supplies with me, and I decided I’d take advantage of the fact that the movie people had roped off such a large area. It was prime real estate and probably more square footage of Cape Cod beach than I’d ever have to myself in season for the rest of my natural life.

I’d find a nice quiet place at the top of the beach and spend most of the day wrapping wire around my new pieces of sea glass. As soon as I had enough earrings, I’d stop by Sand, Sea and Sky again. I’d tell them about the new idea for the sand-holding bottles, too, though I should probably think of a better name for them first.

Just as I was getting comfortable, Allison Flagg sat down beside me, which pretty much ruined everything. “Ooh, what’s that?” she asked.

“Nothing,” I said. I wrapped another loop of wire around a piece of dark green sea glass.

“Well, you don’t have to be so nasty.” She picked up a small rock and moved it to a more aesthetically pleasing position in the sand. “Anyway, since I knew you weren’t going to do it, I have a surprise party all planned for Geri.”

“What? How did you know I wasn’t going to do it?”

She moved the rock back to where it had started. “Oh, puh-lease. Anyway, it’s all set for tonight. As soon as we wrap for the day, everybody will meet over at the hotel pool.”

I pulled tight, and the sea glass popped right out of the wire and landed on the sand. Allison Flagg was seriously bad for my art. “Today? It’s not even her birthday until tomorrow.”

“Exactly. She’ll be completely surprised this way. Anyway, Manny is sending stuff over from craft services, and I ordered the cake, so all you have to do is take your time getting back to the hotel and then deliver the birthday girl. Think you can handle it?”

I couldn’t imagine anything I’d rather do less. But I knew how happy it would make Geri, so I caved. “Yeah, okay.” I took a deep breath. “And thanks.”

Allison Flagg almost smiled. She moved the rock again, then hugged her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “So,” she said. “I went to the party supply store and bought a whole bunch of pink balloons, and I rented a helium tank.”

“Thank goodness you thought of that,” I said. “Whatever would we do without a helium tank?”

“I know. It just isn’t the same if the balloons don’t soar. And I got pink paper garlands. Oh, and those puffy paper birds. You know, the kind you buy folded shut, and when you lift the metal tabs and open them up, they make those wonderful honeycombed shapes.”

“You mean those lovebirds they use at weddings?”

As soon as I said it, Allison Flagg’s potential smile disappeared. “They can be for anything you want to use them for.” She pushed herself up to a standing position and brushed her hands back and forth to get the sand off. “I can’t imagine why you’re still single,” she said.

 

27

I PICKED UP MY CELL PHONE AND CALLED MY
apartment, just to see who might happen to be there this time.

My father answered on the first ring. “Keep your eyes peeled,” he said. “If they come back for me, I might have to make a break for it. They have no idea how sorry they’re gonna be. I know my constitutional rights.”

“Dad?” I said.

“Oh, Toots, I thought you were the other Toots. Wait a minute, let me tell Champ and the babies you’re on the line. Here, say hello to them yourself.”

“What’s going on, Dad?” He didn’t say anything, so I talked some baby talk to Boyfriend. I wrapped it up with “I’ll be home soon, honey, now go get Dad for me,” hoping it might get my father back on the phone.

“Okay, Dollface, I better keep the lines open. I’ve got big plans to make. Those coppers will never get away with this. Over and out.”

I replayed my father’s side, which was basically the only side, of our phone conversation a few times. Then I called my mother. The answering machine picked up. “Hi, Mom,” I said. “Dad is acting really strange. Even for him. He’s at my apartment now if you’re still looking for him. Love you. Bye.”

One of the nice things about having a mother was that once you passed something off to her, you could pretty much stop worrying about it.

RILEY, GERI, AND I
were killing time before the party. They didn’t know it, so the pressure was all on me again. Fortunately, Geri hadn’t managed to sneak out to get her own copy of Allison Flagg’s book because she was too busy watching Riley, so our first stop was to go buy one for her. Riley picked out another joke book while we were at it, and I finally managed to choose one jewelry-making book, even though I wanted them all. One thing about Cape Cod, you could always find a great bookstore.

“You know,” I said, once we got out to the car again, “we really need a name for those sand bottles. And we also need a name for our company.”

“Life’s a Beach,” Geri said.

“Isn’t that the truth. Is that for the bottles or the company?”

“Both. It’s called branding.”

“Don’t you think we should discuss it for a while? What about Sisters by the Sea? Or Sisters of Synchronicity?”

“Ha,” Geri said.

“Or Ginger’s Gewelry, or even Gingerly, though I suppose those two are a little bit more about me than you. You know, I think we should take some time right now, and each come up with a list of ten names. Maybe twenty.”

“Come on,” Geri said. “Let’s go back to the hotel. This is my last day to hang out at the pool as a younger woman. And Riley’s probably dying to go swimming.”

“He’s been on the beach all day,” I said. “Water’s probably the last thing on his mind.” I looked in the rearview mirror and tried to catch his eye. Maybe I could send him a signal.

“The beach and the pool are two entirely different things,” my nephew said from the backseat. “That’s a yes,” he added.

I drove down the road and pulled into the parking lot of CVS. Geri was flipping through her new book. “How about ‘Botox, Beverly Hills’ for my birthday? It says if you can teach yourself not to overexpress, it actually lasts longer.”

“We’ll never make it back in time for dinner. And anyway, you probably need an appointment.”

“Okay, how about ‘Blow Dry, Boston’? That’s not very far.”

“Boring. And it’ll be gone the minute you wash your hair. I thought you wanted something that’s more of a memorial.”

“Thank you so much for making me sound dead.” Geri looked up. “What are we doing here?”

“I’m just concentrating on your birthday possibilities. Okay, give me something else.”

Geri nodded. “Ooh, listen to this.
Polymer Hair Extensions. In four to six hours, 100 percent European hair will be bonded with strands of your existing hair very close to the scalp, resulting in much improved volume, length, and flexibility over traditional hair extension techniques.
You know, I think I read somewhere that polymer hair extensions are the new Botox.”

“Even so, you lost me at four to six hours.” I twisted the steering wheel back and forth a few times. “I couldn’t sit still that long for a full body transplant. How do they get all those Europeans to give up their hair, I wonder.”

“Oh, wow, there’s even a listing for tiaras.”

“Perfect. You could wear it to a PTA meeting.”

Riley leaned over between the two front seats with his book. “Okay, my turn,” he said. “Which fish is the most musical?”

“I don’t know,” Geri and I said together. “Which fish
is
the most musical?”

Riley giggled. “A tune-afish.”

“That’s a good one,” Geri said. She flipped through a few more pages. “How about ‘Teeth Whitening, New York City’? That would be faster. And it must last for a while.”

“You know,” I said, “I’ve always wanted to do that. Okay, it’ll be my treat for your birthday.” I opened my car door. “Wait right here. I’ll make the arrangements.”

I walked slowly up and down the aisles of CVS just to kill some more time before the party.

Eventually, I opened the car door and threw Geri a package of Crest Whitestrips. “Here you go. Happy fifty. We can split the box. I even sprang for the Supreme.”

It’s hard to laugh and wear Whitestrips at the same time. They kept slipping, and we had to nudge them back over our teeth with our fingernails.

“It seems,” Geri mumbled, “that the trick is not to overexpress while you’re wearing them.” This cracked us both up again.

“Shh,” I mumbled. “You’re not supposed to talk.” That made us laugh even harder.

“Can I try some?” Riley asked.

“Why not?” Geri mumbled. “Just don’t tell your sisters. Or your father. Not that you should ever keep secrets from your family . . .”

“I get it, Mom. Rachel and Becca would want some, too, and Dad’s just not a Whitestrips kind of guy.”

While Geri was getting Riley’s strips all set up, I looked at my watch. I still had at least half an hour to kill. I gave my lower Whitestrip a little tug and pretended to look for my keys.

“Uh-oh,” I said carefully. “Did anybody see where I put the car keys?”

The three of us split up and wandered the aisles of CVS. Twenty-five minutes later, I took the keys out of my shoulder bag and kicked them under a counter. “Oh, look,” I yelled. “I found them!”

I could feel Geri wanting to strangle me all the way from the other side of the store. “The good news is,” I said when we’d climbed back into the car, “our thirty minutes are up. We can take off our Whitestrips now.”

“WHY DID WE PARK
in the front?” Geri asked as we walked up to the main entrance of the Fisherman’s Lodge. “And I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t stop for takeout.”

“Thanks,” she added when the lumberjack held the door open for us. Today he had a fishing pole over his shoulder instead of a rifle, which reminded me I still hadn’t asked about those fishing swivels so I could try making bracelets with them. Maybe I could sneak back out here later.

I cut in front of my sister and started across the lobby in the direction of the pool. “I told you, I’ll go back out for food. It’s my fault I lost the keys. Riley shouldn’t have to wait any longer to get into the pool. Your teeth look great, by the way.”

Geri took a couple of long steps to catch up with me. “Don’t try to change the subject. We were already in the car. It’s completely inefficient to do it this way.”

I ignored her. “Hey, Riley, let’s go see how crowded the pool is, then we can go upstairs and you can throw on your suit.”

We rounded the corner to the pool entrance, and a great big white cardboard sign sitting on a rough timber stand blocked our way.
PRIVATE PARTY
, it said in pink letters. A flock of white puffy paper lovebirds perched on top of the sign. They were anchored to the stand with crisscrosses of clear tape.

“Wouldn’t you know it,” Geri said. “There’s a wedding here tonight.” She shook her head. “If you hadn’t lost the keys, we could have been in and out of the pool by now.” She turned and started to walk away.

“That’s okay, Aunt Ginger,” Riley said.

“Thanks,” I said. “Wait,” I yelled to my sister.

She turned around.

“I know,” I said. “Let’s peek inside. I love weddings.”

“You hate weddings,” she said.

“Well, maybe they’re not using the whole pool area,” I said. “Come on, Riley, let’s go check it out.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him past the sign.

“You can’t go in there,” my sister yelled. “It’s a private party.”

I pulled Riley around the corner and put my fingers to my lips. “She’s coming,” I whispered.

Allison Flagg started waving her arms around like an air traffic controller.

“I’ll meet you upstairs,” we heard my sister yell.

“Do something,” Allison Flagg hissed.

Riley and I looked at each other. I shrugged. He screamed. It was a brilliant and bloodcurdling scream, guaranteed to bring a mother running.

“Surprise!” everybody shouted when my sister rounded the corner.

Geri stood there with her mouth open for a moment or two, then gave me a big hug. “Thank you. I can’t believe you did this for me,” she whispered.

“Well, Allison Flagg helped a little,” I whispered back.

There was a long table set up at one end of the pool area. It was covered with things like shrimp cocktail and roll-up sandwiches, and sitting in the center of the table was a big pink cake with just the right understated number of candles.

Riley ran off to join the other kids. Geri was completely surrounded by people, so I looked around for someone to talk to. A bartender wearing a
GONE FISHING
T-shirt stood behind the outcropping of rocks that formed the bar. She was pouring some champagne for the gaffer.

He turned around and saw me before I could look away. I smiled. He smiled back. He picked up the glasses and started walking in my direction.

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