Linda Ford (3 page)

Cassie stumbled over her thoughts. She’d misread his action and now she was embarrassed and uncertain how to undo it. Best to simply face it honestly and move on. “Apology accepted and please accept my own regrets for being so quick to jump to offense.”

He nodded but the air between them remained heavy with awkwardness.

“Those biscuits for eating?” Billy asked, eyeing the plate of biscuits and jam.

“Billy.” Daisy grabbed his arm. “Mind your manners.”

Neil watched Cassie with a look of uncertainty that made her forget any lingering embarrassment. How well she understood that look. Even more, she knew the fluttering in the pit of one’s stomach that accompanied it. She wanted more than anything to put a stop to the kids feeling that way—and equally as much to lose the memory of that sensation.

“Billy, you’re right. I’ve forgotten my manners as the hostess. Thank you for reminding me.” She grabbed the plate and handed it around. “Take two,” she insisted. She stopped in front of Neil. “We don’t know each other and you might not be here long enough that we ever do but while you are here, you are safe. I expect each of you to be cooperative and polite but I’m not about to change my mind when you slip up. I won’t kick you to the curb.” She chuckled softly and glanced toward Macpherson’s store. “Guess it might be a little hard seeing as there isn’t even a street let alone a curb.” She returned her gaze to Neil. “What I’m trying to say is you can trust me.”

Neil held her gaze for a heartbeat then took two biscuits. “Thank you.”

She didn’t expect to win his approval overnight but it was a start. She held the plate and the remaining biscuits out to Roper.

He shook his head. “Give them to the kids. I’ll go out early tomorrow and rustle up some more food.”

Seems she would be depending on him far more than she cared to. Her whole goal had been to be free of obligation and debt. She ached to say it again but not while the children were listening.

The kids finished their food, handed Cassie their cups and quietly thanked her. They sat on their crude log benches, fingers twitching, their gazes darting about and long sighs escaping their lips.

Their restlessness made her skin tingle. “Go ahead and play while we have some more tea.” She refilled Roper’s cup and they watched as the kids hurried away to the other side of the walls Roper had constructed. As soon as they were out of sight, tension grabbed Cassie’s muscles. This was a far cry from what she’d planned. Her agreement to work with him felt like a walk back into the very thing she meant to escape. “How long do you think it will take to contact the uncle?”

“I wouldn’t venture a guess. Why? You already wishing I was gone?”

“You make me sound rude and ungrateful. I’m not. I just have plans. Goals. Don’t you?”

He stared off in the distance for a moment, his expression uncharacteristically serious. Then he flashed her a teasing grin. “Now that you mention it, I guess I don’t. Apart from making sure the kids are safe.”

“I find that hard to believe. Don’t you want to get your own ranch?”

He shrugged, his smile never faltering. “Don’t mind being free to go where I want, work for the man I wish to work for.”

She wanted him to admit to more than that. “Wouldn’t you like to have a family of your own?”

The corners of his eyes flattened. The only sign that he wasn’t still amused. “I never think of family.”

She puffed out a sigh. “Family can be a pain.”

He shrugged again. “Wouldn’t know. Never had any except for the other kids in the orphanage.” He laughed. “An odd sort of family, I guess. No roots. Changing with the seasons.”

She didn’t answer. Her grandfather had made the word
family
uncomfortable for her but that was different than what Roper meant. She didn’t know how to respond to his description of family. With no response coming to her mind, she shifted back to her concern. “Roper, about our arrangement. I—”

He chuckled. “I know what you’re going to say but this isn’t about you or me. It’s about the kids.”

“So long as you remember that.”

“I aim to. I got rules you know. Like never stay where you’re not wanted. Don’t put down roots you’ll likely have ripped out.”

She guessed there was a story behind his last statement. Likely something he’d learned by bitter experience but she didn’t bother to ask. “I plan to put down roots right here.” She jabbed her finger toward the ground.

“That’s the difference between you and me.” The grin remained on his lips but she noticed it didn’t reach his eyes.

She studied him. “I’m guessing taking care of other people’s business is another of your rules.”

He laughed out loud at that. “Seems I got more rules than I realized.”

Whispers and giggles came from behind the wooden walls. “Do you think they’ll be okay?”

“You did good in telling them they’ll be safe here.” His grin seemed to be both approving and teasing.

How did he do that? Never quite serious. Always positive. Certainly different than how her grandfather had been. Thinking of the older man, she shifted her concern to the children. “They will be safe as much as it lies within me to make it so.” And they’d never be made to feel like they were burdens. Not if she had anything to do with it.

“Good to know.” He eased to his feet. “Watch this.” He tiptoed to the half walls, glancing back at her with a wide grin. He held his finger to his mouth to signal her to silence then he edged around the corner and jumped into the children’s view, yelling wildly.

Pansy screamed, Daisy gasped loudly enough for Cassie to hear her, and then started to laugh. Neil let out a yell. At the same time Billy hollered and ran diagonally across the lot.

Next thing she knew, Roper was tearing after Billy. “I’m going to catch you.”

Billy looked over his shoulder, saw Roper bearing down on him and ran so fast his short legs could have churned butter. Not far behind Roper, Neil joined the pursuit.

Cassie jumped to her feet. What were they doing? Had Billy done something to annoy Roper? Was Neil trying to protect his brother? Aiming to protect the kids, she picked up her skirts and ran toward them.

Roper caught Billy and lifted him into the air. “Gotcha.” He plopped the boy on the ground, knelt over him and tickled him.

Cassie slowed to a halt. It was only play!

Neil reached them, and threw himself on Roper’s back. Roper flipped to his stomach, Neil still clinging to him.

“You got me. Oh. Ow. Let me go.”

Both boys piled on him, tickling and play fighting. At least she hoped it was play and by all the laughing she guessed it was. She knew little about play. Seemed her whole life had been work and if not work, then soberness and trying to please. Fun did not fit into either category. Somehow she thought it was that way for all children. Apparently Roper didn’t agree.

Daisy joined her, Pansy again riding her hip. “Don’t worry. The boys won’t hurt him.”

“I was worried about the boys.”

They looked at each other and laughed. Pansy gave a shy smile from the shelter of Daisy’s neck.

Cassie gave the little gal some study, taking in her wondrously big blue eyes that, in a few years, would bring grown men to her beck and call, and her fine blond hair that could use a combing. Suddenly she realized all the children were travel soiled. They would need baths and food and clean clothes and—

The enormity of the task she had taken on hit her like a falling pine. How could she possibly manage?

She sucked in air to relieve her anxiousness. It was a business arrangement that would result in having her house built, she told herself. It would help her achieve her dream. It was temporary and two of the kids were big enough to lend a hand. She could do this. She pushed her shoulders back as if stepping into a harness, and like a horse leaning into a load, she turned toward the fire.

Daisy followed on her heels. “I intend to do my share around here.”

“Fine. Let’s get the dishes done then heat water for baths.”

“I guess we are pretty dirty. Mama would scold us for sure.” Her voice quivered.

Cassie faced her. “I expect she would be proud that you’ve managed so well.”

Daisy nodded. “Roper said Ma and Pa would be proud of us.”

“Indeed.”

She washed the few dishes, handing them to Daisy to dry. Pansy sat at Daisy’s side, content to watch. As soon as they’d washed and dried the last cup, Cassie dragged out the big tub.

Roper saw her intent and he and Neil hauled more water from the nearby river.

As the water heated, Roper finished the walls and somehow built a frame for the roof on which to drape the canvas he purchased from Macpherson. With Neil’s help he brought over the stove Cassie had ordered and set it up in the new shelter.

Cassie eyed it with joy. She’d be able to start baking bread for Macpherson and paying off her loan a lot sooner than she’d anticipated.

With the kids helping, Roper soon had Cassie’s bed roll in one corner of the shelter, furs and blankets arranged for the children next to her bed. The stove and a crude table he’d put together made an area where she could work and feed the kids.

They dragged the tub under the canvas and filled it with water.

“I’ll bathe Pansy,” Daisy insisted.

Cassie didn’t protest. She hadn’t ever bathed a baby. Nor a two-year-old. Her heart clenched as she recalled her hope for babies. Twice she’d thought she’d welcome an infant into her arms but twice it wasn’t to be. They had never drawn breath after their births.

She turned away, unable to catch her breath, and slipped outside before anyone noticed.

Roper found her there. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She stared toward the sun dipping behind the mountains and breathed slowly, evenly.

He gently touched her shoulder. “Are you regretting your decision?”

“It was an act of God.”

His fingers tightened on her shoulder. “Are you talking about the children?”

She closed her eyes and pushed back a groan. Of course, he meant the children in the tent. “No, I don’t regret my decision. It will benefit me to get my house up as soon as possible.”

“You didn’t mean the kids, did you?”

His quiet question, the gentleness in his voice tugged at her soul, made her want to wail out her pain. But she’d learned to hide her hurt, bury her feelings. She didn’t know any other way of dealing with life. “I better go check on them.”

He blocked her retreat. “I think they can manage quite well without us. Let’s go for a walk.”

“I’m really too tired.”

“I want to show you where I’ll set up my camp in case you need me for anything.”

She stiffened her spine. “I think I can manage.”

He chuckled. “I’m sure you can but this is a business deal, remember? The kids are my responsibility.”

Somehow he had taken her elbow and herded her toward the river and a grove of trees.

“I’ll take the tent that collapsed on you and pitch it here.” He pointed. “If you need me, you have only to holler.”

“I won’t be hollering.”

“I expect not. But I feel better knowing anyone could and I’ll hear them.”

He meant the kids could call for him. “Why would they need you when I’ll be right there in the same tent or whatever you want to call it?”

“No reason. Just as there’s no reason to get all prickly about it.”

“Prickly?” She swallowed hard. “If I am it’s because you make me sound like I can’t manage on my own.”

He held up his hands in a sign of protest. “It never crossed my mind.”

“Well, then. So long as we understand each other.” She headed back to her site.

He chuckled softly, and followed her. “Oh, I get it.”

She ignored the note of triumph in his voice. How could he possibly comprehend? He had no idea of the events that had shaped her life and made her want nothing half as much as she wanted to be independent. Self-sufficient. “I don’t need anyone,” she muttered.

“Sounds mighty lonely to me.”

“You can be lonely with people around.” Thankfully they had reached camp and he didn’t get a chance to respond.

The sound of giggling stopped them, and they listened.

“That’s about the happiest sound in the world.” Roper seemed pleased, content even.

“How can they be happy? Their parents are dead. They’re orphans.” Their lives were full of uncertainty.

“A person can be as happy as they make up their mind to be.”

She’d heard the words before. “Linette said the same thing when we first arrived at the ranch.” She didn’t believe it was that simple any more now than she had then. People made demands of a person that made happiness impossible. It was why she intended to survive on her own.

“I figure you might as well choose to be happy as miserable.”

She heard the shrug in his voice. “Sometimes it isn’t up to you.”

“I suppose you’re right in the sense that our lives are in God’s hands and ultimately we have to trust Him. But knowing that makes it easy to enjoy life, don’t you think?”

Grateful for the dusk that hid her expression, Cassie murmured a sound that could be taken as agreement if he chose to interpret it as such. But inside, protests exploded. Didn’t God let man have a choice? Because of free will, not all men lived by God’s rules. Not all people were kind. Not all of life could be enjoyed.

She realized Roper was waiting for her answer. “Sometimes you have to work to get what you want from life. I trust God to help me achieve my goals.” Saying it out loud solidified it in her mind. God had given her the opportunity to own a plot of land and now, by caring for the children, she would get her house built much faster, and no doubt better, than she could have done it. God had given her what she needed. She would apply all her skill and strength to making it work. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take care of my share of the responsibility.”

“And I need to get my camp set up while I can still see.” Still, he hesitated as if he wanted something more.

She searched her mind but could think of nothing more she needed to do. “Good night, then.”

“Good night. Call out if you need anything.” He turned and strolled away.

She watched until he dipped down toward the creek, out of sight. Yet she felt how close he was, how ready to come to her rescue.