Linda Ford (5 page)

Her eyes sparked with curiosity and a warmth that sent satisfaction into his soul. He liked having her regard him with eyes like that.

“What did you do?”

“To keep them from getting caught? If we were allowed to sit where we wanted, I sat with the little ones and played finger games that didn’t attract any attention but kept the little ones watching.” He illustrated by having the fingers of one hand do a jig on the back of the other. “It was nothing special but they had to keep alert to see when I’d do something.”

“And if you couldn’t sit with them?”

“Then it was harder. But one of the things I did was send a tap down the line. Everyone would pass it on to the little ones.”

“Seems you felt responsible for the younger children.”

He considered the observation. “It wasn’t really responsibility. Not like Daisy. It was more like I wanted everyone to be happy.”

Her grin tipped the flesh at the corner of her eyes upward. “I think you haven’t changed a great deal.”

He tried to think how he felt about her evaluation. He decided it was true and he didn’t mind that she’d noticed something he did without thinking about it. “Back to my original question.” He tipped his head to indicate the circle where the children had sat. “Is it normal? You have a family. Is that what you did?”

Her eyes darkened. The smile fled from her face. What had he said to bring such distress to her face? Whatever it was, it had been unintentional.

But how could he undo it when he was at a loss to explain it?

* * *

The ground beneath Cassie’s feet seemed to tip as a thousand memories crowded her mind. “My father died when I was nine so I don’t recall much about being a whole family.” Except she suddenly did. “I remember sitting on my father’s knee as he read aloud. We were in a rocking chair. A lamp glowed nearby so it must have been evening. Mother was in the kitchen so it was just me and...” She stopped the words that had come from nowhere. Just her and those comforting, secure arms. “Just me and my father.” The memory ached through her. She concentrated on breathing slowly and deeply. She forced strength into her voice. “Seems I recall my father reading to me at night. He heard my prayers before Mother tucked me in and kissed me good night.”

“Didn’t you keep doing the same things after he was gone? I guess I would...both to honor him and preserve the memory.”

“Things changed after he died.” Her grandfather didn’t allow such extravagances.
The child is big enough to put herself to bed. I’m not supporting you to spend time coddling her.
She pushed to her feet. “I better get to work.” She went to join Daisy at the dishpan. “I’ll dry,” she said to the girl.

Roper strode away in the direction of Macpherson’s store. She wouldn’t watch him go. Nor voice any curiosity about why. But hadn’t he said he’d build her house? Shouldn’t he be doing so? He liked to make everyone happy, did he? She sensed it was more than that. Seems he had a need to make sure people were well taken care of. Well, she silently huffed, she had no need of his help. She’d learned to depend on no one. She had all she needed right here on this little bit of land. She glanced about at the piles of lumber, the neat little shelter Roper had erected. Yes, she’d accept his help in exchange for providing care for the children. But she’d never make the mistake of expecting it nor of counting on it.

Daisy persuaded Pansy to sit on a log at her side as she dried the dishes. “I want to thank you for allowing us to stay here and I promise we’ll do our best not to be any trouble.”

Children are nothing but trouble.
The words reverberated through her head in her grandfather’s harsh voice. How could such a coldhearted man raise a son who turned out to be a loving father? Why had the better of the two died? Seemed bitterly unfair in her mind.

She hated that these children should feel the same condemning words hovering in the background and vowed she would not do or say anything to make them real. She dried her hands on the towel and turned to Daisy. With her still-damp hands, she clasped the girl’s shoulders and turned her so they were face-to-face. “I don’t consider you the least bit of trouble. In fact, it would be mighty lonely if I were here by myself.” Yet that was exactly what she intended once the children were gone. “Besides, isn’t it to my benefit? I get help to build my house.”

Daisy considered her steadily, then, satisfied with Cassie’s assurance, nodded. “Still. I wouldn’t want you to regret it.”

“I promise I won’t.” As she returned to her task a flash drew her attention to the side. Roper stood with two spades over his shoulder, so new and shiny the sun reflected off them. He stared as if he’d overheard the conversation. She favored him with a challenging glare, silently informing him not to read anything into her confession of loneliness. It was meant to reassure the children, not give him an argument to pursue.

“What’s with the shovels?” Far as she could figure he needed to wield hammer and saw, not shovels.

He moved closer so she saw the green glints in his eyes. “Got to thinking. Didn’t you say you plan to bake bread for the store?”

She nodded even though he knew the answer.

“And feed travelers?”

She didn’t bother to nod again.

“Seems you might be needing a cellar. You know. To keep things cool in the summer and stop your canned goods from freezing in the winter. So me and Neil are gonna dig you one.”

No way could she hide her surprise and she knew he read it on her face by the way he grinned in satisfaction. He held her gaze for several seconds.

She tried to tell herself she didn’t notice the way his eyes flashed pleasure at coming up with an idea that seemed to please her. Tried to convince herself he was only doing what he always did—making sure people were happy. But try as she might she couldn’t deny a little start of something both sweet and reluctant. It was sweet to have someone appear to care about what might please her. But she dare not let herself think past that. A woman in her situation could do no better than maintain her independence.

Still grinning, Roper called Neil and handed him a shovel. Together they marched to where she’d marked the boundaries of her house and began to dig.

An hour later they’d made little progress.

She began to suspect digging a cellar hole would consume an inordinate length of time.

Had that been his reason for suggesting it? Not concern for her at all but only an excuse to hang around and do for her what she preferred to do for herself?

He’d always balked at her independence.

She glanced about at the children. Daisy brushed Pansy’s hair and talked softly to her. Neil worked alongside Roper trying his best to dig at the same pace as Roper, which was impossible yet Roper told the boy how well he was doing. Billy carried the dirt to the designated area. How could she tell Roper she suspected him of delay tactics?

She didn’t need or want him trying to take care of her.

Chapter Four

A
s Roper and Neil dug, Cassie turned her attention to other things. First, she had to prepare meals for the children and Roper. With the stove set up in the little shelter, she could bake, using this time to her advantage to start paying off her debt at Macpherson’s. She mixed up a hearty stew of meat and vegetables and as it simmered, she cut lard into flour for biscuits. By noon, she had several dozen baked and cooling.

“This place is steaming hot.”

She turned at Roper’s voice behind her and brushed a strand of hair from her burning face. “I’m baking.”

“Both yourself and biscuits, I presume.”

She grinned at his teasing.

“You need a breeze going through here.” He ducked outside and made a racket on the wall. Then the canvas rolled up and blessed cool air blew through the shack. Roper peered through the opening. “I can roll it down at night.”

“Oh, that feels good.” She fanned herself. “I didn’t realize how hot it was.”

He came in again and eyed the biscuits covering the table. “You’ve been busy.”

“Dinner is ready.” She reached for the pot then realized she had no place to put it.

Roper grabbed a towel and took the pot. “Come see what I made.”

She wrapped a selection of biscuits in a towel and followed him outside. “A picnic table. Perfect. Now we can eat outdoors in comfort.”

He set the stew in the middle of the table. “I thought you could use it for feeding travelers, too.”

“Thank you, but—” Oh, dear. How were they going to manage working together if he constantly took care of her when she was determined to take care of herself?

Though, on her own, it would take a little longer to build a house and get herself organized. Macpherson understood she’d take time to get established.

“Just part of the business deal.” His dismissive tone warned her not to make a fuss about it.

She stifled a sigh. She might as well take advantage of all this arrangement offered. So she tucked away her resistance as Daisy passed around the plates and cups.

Cassie waited for the children to sit, then chose a place that wouldn’t put her near Roper. She didn’t want to be forced to hold his hand again during prayer. But as soon as she was seated, Neil and Billy slid down on the bench opposite her and made room for Roper to edge in and sit directly across from her, an unrepentant grin on his face. He’d correctly read her attempt to avoid him.

She barely restrained herself from wrinkling her nose at him but let him guess at the silent message in her eyes.
Don’t think I’ve changed my mind about wanting to keep this businesslike.

He winked, and when he saw her draw her eyebrows together in affront, he sighed. “Cassie, don’t be looking for offense when none is meant.”

She forced a smile to her lips but figured it looked as wooden as it felt.

Roper wagged his head in mock frustration. “Cassie, Cassie, what am I going to do with you?”

She tipped her chin. “You could try saying the blessing so we could eat before the ants find us.”

The children giggled.

Roper chuckled. “Very well.” He eagerly reached for her hand, giving her a look that said he enjoyed her discomfort. Then he bowed his head and uttered a few words. “Amen.”

When she jerked her hand free, his eyes practically glittered with triumph. Oh, bother. By overreacting to an innocent, meaningless touch of hands, she’d given him reason to think it meant more than it did when she only wanted to remind him this was a business deal.

They ate in companionable silence except for Pansy who fretted.

Daisy hushed her. “She needs a nap.”

“Finish your meal, then put her down,” Roper said.

“And the dishes?”

Goodness, the child had an overblown sense of responsibility. Cassie patted her hand. “I can manage a few dishes.”

Daisy nodded gratefully, scooped up her little sister and disappeared inside the shack. For a few minutes Daisy’s gentle murmurs blended with Pansy’s fussing, and then all was silent.

Roper helped Cassie clean up the table. “Daisy reminds me of you,” he said.

“How’s that?” She filled a basin with hot water, and began to wash the dishes. She scrubbed the plates and Roper dried them.

“She feels she has to do everything herself.”

“Independence is good, especially when she has no one else.” Seems that should have been self-evident even to a man like Roper, determined to help everyone he met.

“But is that true?”

“Her father and mother are dead. Who knows what her uncle will decide about their future? Seems the best thing they can do is learn how to manage on their own, expect nothing from anyone else.”

“What about people who want to help?”

She couldn’t tell if it was hurt or warning that made his voice so low and decided it was safest to assume the latter. “I suppose she has reason to wonder what other people want in return.”

“I don’t want anything but to help. What do you want?”

Maybe she’d been talking more about herself than the children. “I expect nothing from them. I hope they understand that.”

“Your words are contradictory.”

“Maybe so. But it seems best to count on no one but yourself.” She had to change the direction of this conversation before she said more than she meant to...things she hadn’t even reasoned out yet. “How long do you think it will take to dig the cellar?”

He shrugged, his gaze lingering on her as he understood her attempt to avoid explaining herself. “Depends on how hard the ground is. And I don’t want to overwork young Neil. He’s determined to match me shovelful for shovelful. Besides, I don’t want him to think the only thing I want from him is work. In fact, I’ve decided to take a break for some play.” He paused. “If you have no objection.”

“Of course I don’t.” Did he think all she cared about was work? “The children should certainly be allowed a little fun.”

Maybe he was right. She seemed to know little about how to play.

“You’ll join us, won’t you?” Had he read her mind and determined to teach her?

“I have biscuits to deliver to Macpherson’s.”

“You might wake Pansy if you go into the shack.”

Cassie scrambled to find an excuse to avoid joining Roper and the children. Before she could, Roper waved to the boys.

“Who wants to play a game?”

Neil and Billy perked up and raced toward him. Daisy slipped from the shack and hesitated.

“You, too.” Roper waved to her. “Everyone’s going to play.” He shot Cassie a challenging look. “Play refreshes the soul.”

Cassie swallowed hard.

“Come on. We’ll go down by the river so we don’t wake Pansy.”

The boys ran after him, while Daisy followed more slowly, cautiously, as if uncertain she should let herself play.

It was Daisy’s hesitation that convinced Cassie to join the parade. Daisy was still young enough to enjoy a game or two. She shouldn’t let her responsibilities take away that pleasure. So Cassie linked arms with Daisy. “Let’s see what he’s up to.” She could feel the girl relax beneath her touch.

Roper glanced over his shoulder and grinned.

Cassie knew he’d heard her and, furthermore, she guessed he might have some inkling as to her motive. Though she felt a strong urge to wrinkle her nose at him, she hoped the toss of her head convinced him of her lack of concern for his opinion.

Roper waited until they all reached the bank of the river. “Who knows how to play Sneak Up on Granny?”

No one said they did.

“I’ll be granny. You line up there.” He drew a line in the sand. “I’ll stand here.” He went about twenty feet away. “When I turn my back, you try and sneak up on me. When I shout ‘stop,’ don’t move because when I turn around and see you moving, you go back to the start.”

“What’s the point of the game?” Cassie refrained from saying it sounded silly because she recognized the voice in the back of her head as that of her grandfather.
Waste of precious time.
For that reason alone she would play the game and waste as much time as she pleased.

“If you can sneak up on me and touch my shoulder without me catching you moving, you get to play granny.”

Cassie snorted. “Great. I’ve always had a hankering to play granny.” She drew her lips in, hunkered over like an old woman and smacked her gums loudly.

The three children giggled and Cassie knew a sense of satisfaction. Was this how Roper felt when he made others happy? She shot him a look, wondering if her surprise showed.

Their gazes caught and held, and the look of triumph in his eyes seared away something she couldn’t identify. Didn’t want to acknowledge. All she would admit was it felt good and right to make the children laugh. It seemed fitting to see them enjoy life.

She would not listen to the strident voice of her grandfather telling her to stop wasting time.

The children toed up to the line he’d scratched in the ground. She did the same as Roper took his place ahead of them.

“One, two, three.” He counted, turning his back.

Neil raced forward. Billy took a giant leap. Daisy tiptoed.

Cassie took one cautious step, and then another.

“Stop.”

Neil skidded but not in time. Billy was in midair and landed with a thud.

Roper chuckled. “Boys. Back to the start.”

Daisy and Cassie grinned at each other. He hadn’t caught them.

“One, two, three.” He turned away again.

Billy and Neil tried to make up for lost time but Cassie edged forward, knowing she must be ready to stop quickly.

“Stop.”

Again the two boys were sent back to the start amid groans.

Roper gave Cassie and Daisy a long stare as if daring them to waver. Neither of them did.

They continued. Cassie was within two feet but Roper called stop so often she daren’t move. She tensed. One step was all it would take. As soon as he began to turn away, she leaped forward and reached out to clap his shoulder. At the same time he hollered stop and turned to face her, and they collided.

She staggered, off balance and about to fall, until he caught her, his hands warm on her arms as he steadied her.

She looked deep into his hazel eyes, saw his concern over bumping her. Her heart beat a frantic tattoo against her breastbone. Longing rose up within her, a hunger to be valued and appreciated. To be cared for.

No, she told herself. Such feelings were a weakness she would never allow herself. She’d learned far too well how they made her vulnerable. She shook free from his grasp. “Guess I’m granny now.” Surely he wouldn’t notice the trembling in her voice.

“Guess so.” His voice grated as if his throat had grown tight.

They returned to play although she had little interest. She wasn’t a bit sorry when Pansy’s cry brought an instant end to their game as Daisy rushed back to get the little one.

The rest trooped after her.

“I’m going to take biscuits over to Macpherson’s and see if he can sell them.” Cassie headed for the little shack as if she had a sudden deadline.

“Come on, boys. Let’s get that cellar dug.” Roper sounded as cheerful as ever.

Why had she wasted so much time? It was Roper’s fault. Something about him enticed her to forget her responsibilities and goals.

All winter she’d avoided him as much as possible without being rude. Or maybe sometimes, especially at first, she hadn’t cared if she happened to be rude. All she could remember of the first few weeks at the ranch was the pain of her losses and despair at how desperate her situation was.

When Linette had found her sleeping in the train station in Montreal she’d cajoled, enticed and begged Cassie to accompany her West on her trek to meet her future husband. Cassie had agreed because it had seemed better than her current situation. Anything would have been better. She didn’t know she would end up in a tiny log cabin, barely big enough for one adult let alone three adults and a child. Even worse, Eddie was not expecting to marry Linette and said he had no intention of doing so. Not that Linette was deterred. She said she would prove to him she’d make an ideal pioneer wife.

Cassie smiled. The attraction between Linette and Eddie had been obvious from the first but it had taken the pair most of the winter to acknowledge what the rest of them saw.

She pressed her palm to her chest. She missed Linette. And Grady.

She missed Cookie, too. From the beginning, the big-hearted woman seemed oblivious to Cassie’s sharpness and showed her nothing but kindness. Slowly, between Linette and Cookie and the gentle attention of the cowboys at the ranch, Cassie’s wounds had healed. She’d gone from thinking she had no choice but to accept whatever kindness and protection a man would offer to knowing she could live life on her own terms.

It wasn’t something she meant to give up. She had a life to live. Work to do. A business to establish.

She filled a large bowl with biscuits, covered it with a clean tea towel and headed over to Macpherson’s store. A couple of cowboys lounged against the counter as she stepped inside. Within minutes most of the biscuits had been purchased.

Macpherson snagged one of the biscuits for himself and tested it. “These are good. Reminds me of my daughter, Becca. She used to bake the best biscuits. Many a man stepped into the store solely to see if she had any baking on hand.”

Cassie couldn’t remember much of what she’d heard about Macpherson’s daughter. “She moved away, didn’t she?”

“Married herself a fine young man, Colt, and adopted two orphaned children. They have themselves a little ranch northwest of here. I expect them to visit this summer.”

Cassie chuckled. “You’re obviously proud of them.”

“A fine bunch.” He indicated the crumbs of biscuit on his fingers. “Bring me more of these as soon as you can. You set up to bake bread yet?”

“I’ll start today.”

Glowing with satisfaction she returned to her place. Oh, didn’t that sound good!
Her place.
A business about to take off. A house soon to be constructed, thanks to Roper’s help.

She ground to a halt at the corner of the shack and watched Roper digging her cellar. Her house. Her cellar. Her land. It seemed Roper was contributing far more to this arrangement than she. What would she owe him? Nervousness quivered in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t like to owe anyone. She sucked in air to calm the fluttering, and reminded herself that it was a business agreement. So he could help the children.