Little Rainbows (2 page)

She’d been looking at the building, the grounds, the gate and the little buzzer on the intercom box for a few minutes. If anybody on the inside happened to be keeping an eye on the entrance through those security cameras, they would have decided she was either scared or crazy by now—and they’d be right. She was apprehensive. Her hands were clasped together, her fingers worrying her wedding ring. After eighteen months of virtually living like a hermit, coming here felt like diving in headfirst. Still, if she’d had any doubts about leaving Dublin, that surprise visitor two weeks ago and his shocking proposal had taken care of those.

The bastard.
She refused to even think his name. It still bothered her he’d had the nerve to show up at her door like that. Where would he have gotten the idea she’d be open to his suggestions? It had been clear that he’d expected her to embrace his offer—or should she call it an order—with open arms. His delusions of grandeur must have gotten the better of him, or he’d confused her with someone she clearly wasn’t. She didn’t get it. Even before her self-inflicted confinement, she’d made a point of staying away from him. Why would he think she’d changed her mind about him just because she was on her own? She didn’t know but lingering on that memory right now didn’t serve any purpose. She didn’t want him in her thoughts, especially not now. It would only make her more nervous than she already was.

She’d thought this place would be the perfect setting for her return to the BDSM world she’d been ignoring for well over a year. Now that the moment was close, now that she had to take this last step out of her confinement, the first step into her future, she couldn’t help second-guessing herself. Was she really ready to move forward? Could she do it on her own? She’d never been a part of this lifestyle without her husband and his loving support.

With a sigh she lifted her hand and pressed the little button. She’d come this far. She hadn’t driven the five hours from Dublin only to turn away at the last hurdle. If she gave up now, it would be the end of the business they’d built together. If she chickened out of this, there would be no way of ever going back on her own terms. Going forward scared the shit out of her but going back frightened her even more. She could do this. She’d promised she would take this step. Breaking her word was not an option, no matter how scared she was.

“Can I help you?”

The voice from the intercom brought her out of her reverie. “Hi, I’m Heather Staunton, I…”

“Mrs. Staunton, welcome to The Blowhole. You’re expected. Please drive up to the parking area and make your way to reception in the lobby.”

The voice disappeared at the same moment the black steel gates started to noiselessly open. Heather put her bright yellow Beetle into first gear and with a deep sigh, started the too short drive up to the parking area. She wondered about the name as she drove. The Blowhole. It could be a reference to everything going on behind the resort’s walls. Or, maybe the owner enjoyed provoking and shocking people. Anyone unaware of the true nature of this place would probably assume a connection to the numerous chimneys on the roof. Knowing all too well what awaited her once she stepped out of her car, she doubted chimneys had anything to do with the choice.

Heather’s curiosity about the name receded as she parked her car and stared at the imposing building in front of her. It was magnificent. Built in gray stone, the resort had the higgledy-piggledy appearance of a manor built over the centuries, with bits added on as circumstances required. Of course she knew this wasn’t an old building—she’d done her research—but she liked that it had been erected with materials and in a style that made it appear old and worn. High and low rooflines alternating in an apparently random fashion gave the manor an uneven and fascinating exterior, to which the protruding and receding sections only added. It made her curious about the interior and excited about exploring all its nooks and crannies. She wouldn’t be surprised to find secret passageways, dark cellars, roaring fires—although it wasn’t quite the season or the weather for those right now—and adventure.

She got a glimpse of the grounds behind the manor and studied the extended garden with at least one other building. Off in the distance, she could still see the Atlantic Ocean. She took another moment to delight in the tiny rainbows in the sky above the sea. The sight took her breath away and made her feel better about the whole enterprise. She decided to take it as an encouraging sign. She chose to believe that Mother Nature herself had put her stamp of approval on Heather’s decision to come here.

She wished she could stay out here and enjoy nature’s beauty, but, she wasn’t here for the view, breathtaking as it might be. She’d come here to do a job, as well as to restart her life. Daydreaming about little rainbows wouldn’t achieve either. Heather’s worries resurfaced as soon she thought about the days ahead of her. In a few minutes she would come face to face with a man she knew little to nothing about in order to help him organize the BDSM party of the decade. Someone who called himself Master Jay and had been conspicuous in his absence from the negotiations so far. She’d only dealt with his manager, Karl Mulready. A few minutes from now that would change. Heather and the elusive Master were about to meet.

Almost reluctantly, Heather made her way to the entrance. Close up, the hotel resembled a jigsaw with all its corners, the various doors and height differences. The doors of the one-story extension in front of her were wide open, inviting her to enter.

Once again she questioned her sanity. She’d kept herself away from anything and everyone connected to the kinkier side of Ireland for almost two years. Why did she think she still knew everything and everybody in that world well enough to offer any real assistance? It had been two years since she’d last planned a BDSM party, so why did this Jay—she couldn’t refer to a man she’d never met as Master—think she’d still be able to do the job?

For a moment she closed her eyes. Unless she kept on moving forwards, she would never answer those questions.

Heaven or hell?
Heather had no idea what she would find on the other side of the threshold. Her fear took her by surprise. She’d known starting again would be daunting but hadn’t expected to be this scared.

Another big sigh took her up the few steps, through the doors and into a wide and spacious reception area. The high ceilings and the sun streaming through the open doors and various windows made the lobby bright and welcoming. Through a long hallway she saw a glass wall. For a moment she stopped and stared at the view of the Atlantic those windows provided. There was only one word for what she saw,
stunning
. Even on a quiet day like today, the ocean looked wild and dangerous. She had no doubt the view would be even more spectacular in bad weather.

“Amazing, isn’t it?”

The deep voice brought Heather back to earth with a shock. Turning toward the sound, she had to tilt her head back to look into the face of the giant who’d addressed her. Well over six feet tall, he was built like a house. With his relaxed facial expression, his short blond hair and friendly eyes, he reminded her of Sting—be it a much larger version—an artist she’d been attracted to for as long as she could remember.

“It’s fabulous.” She knew the smile on her face didn’t begin to reach her eyes, but since she’d never felt less sure of herself in her life, there wasn’t much she could do about it.

“You’re Jay?”

The giant smiled and his features transformed from rather stern into warm and welcoming. “No, I’m Karl Mulready. The Master is in his office.” The smile faded from his face again to be replaced by something she couldn’t name. “I’ll take you to him in a minute.”

“That would be great, thank you. I left my car in front of the building, I hope that’s okay?”

Heather wanted to kick herself. She shouldn’t be feeling and sounding this insecure. She was supposed to be an experienced party-organizer. Even if it had been some time since she last planned an event, she shouldn’t be feeling as if this was her first ever project. When a little voice in the back of her head tried to suggest party planning wasn’t the only thing she’d ignored for almost two years, she slammed a mental door in its face.

The man, Karl, walked around the desk and approached her. “If you give me your keys I’ll make sure your luggage is brought to your room and have the car parked in the staff area.”

Either the manager didn’t pick up on her insecurities or he’d successfully mastered the art of disguising his thoughts. If Heather had to make a guess, she’d pick the second option but that didn’t lessen her relief. She was grateful he didn’t make her feel any more stupid than she already did. Handing over her keys, she watched as Karl passed them on to a younger man who smiled at her before walking out of the door.

“If you’d follow me?”

Karl strode off down the corridor, glancing over his shoulder to make sure she was behind him. Her surroundings turned into a blur as Heather rushed to keep up with the manager, grateful she didn’t have the time to worry about her upcoming meeting with the man Karl had called
the Master
. A few minutes from now she’d know who she’d be dealing with and would hopefully be able to scratch one item off her long list of worries. She’d do this one step at a time. If she could stop herself from obsessing about the big picture and her personal issues, she might just make it through the next few days. Maybe…

* * * *

He wanted to scream. No amount of staring at the pile of papers on his desk or the schedules on his screen made it any clearer how he could possibly turn this weekend into anything but an unmitigated disaster. What had seemed a great idea four months ago had turned into a nightmare of apocalyptic proportions. He only had just over two weeks left before everybody who was anybody in the Irish BDSM scene would descend on his
Blowhole
, expecting to be—as he’d so poetically put it in the invitations—blown away by the facilities he had to offer.

Of course, four months ago he’d still been himself. He’d been happy in this setting he’d created and secure in the knowledge he’d found his place in the world at last. Now he didn’t know who or what he was and felt like an imposter. He almost laughed. An imposter who happened to own and run the show. He’d introduced himself as
Master Jay
on the invitations, a title that could only be interpreted one way. A title he was less comfortable wearing with each passing day.

He got up and walked to the window, taking in the view in front of him. The sight usually filled him with calm and pride. The gardens were impressive, a riot of colors lit up by the sunshine. The Atlantic provided a glorious backdrop. Under most circumstances, the beauty surrounding him was enough to set his mind at ease. Today the perfection outside only served to feed his inner turmoil.

Besides, it was too late for second thoughts. The invitations had been sent and accepted. All but one or two of his rooms had been booked for the anniversary weekend. Nothing short of the place burning down would stop this party from taking place.

The idea of having to spend a weekend with practicing Dominants while having lost his urge to dominate filled him with horror. He knew they would immediately recognize something wasn’t right. The people he’d invited had no way of knowing he was indeed an experienced and well-respected Dom—in America. He knew his last scene, a month ago, had raised eyebrows. He’d been fielding concerned questions from his friends for weeks. His guests would take one look at him and see a man incapable of living up to his self-proclaimed image. A wannabe. A failure.

A low buzzing sound brought him back to the here and now. That would be Karl, warning him his visitor had arrived. He was about to come face-to-face with another one of his many questionable decisions. Leaving the initial planning to Karl had been an escape mechanism, making it possible for him to pretend he didn’t have a party and possible public relations disaster in his near future. But now that she’d arrived, he had to deal with somebody he knew next to nothing about. And to make the situation even more prone to disaster, Karl had seen fit to hire someone who’d been out of the loop for the better part of two years.

He turned to his desk, moved the mouse and watched as the website sprang to life. He’d better have a quick look at this woman Karl had hired before she walked into his office. The website looked professional enough and a quick glance at the testimonials showed nothing except lavish praise. But all the information was nearly two years old. Still, the time for second thoughts had long since passed. With the party taking place in a fortnight, and this company apparently being the only one specializing in events like the one he’d be hosting, he had no other options. He’d left it much too late to get somebody from America. He only had himself to blame. If he hadn’t abdicated all responsibility for the preparations to Karl, he wouldn’t be in this position.

He’d just have a quick glance at the picture gallery and…

A firm knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.
Party time
. With a frown, Jason got up and turned to stare out of the window again while he listened to the door opening behind him.

Chapter Two

“Master Jay.”

Heather heard the surprise in Karl’s voice but wasn’t quite sure what had elicited it.

“Your guest, Heather Staunton, has arrived.”

“Thank you, Karl.”

The voice was gruff and faintly familiar.

Heather took advantage of the fact that the man on the other side of the bright and spacious office had his back to her and studied her surroundings. She liked this room with its uncluttered feel. The furniture was big, made of dark wood and very masculine. The window on the other side of the room gave her another spectacular view of the Atlantic. She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of that picture. A slight change in the light provided Heather with a vague reflection of the man who had to be
Master Jay
. Something inside her stuttered. She knew this man. But no, it couldn’t be. Surely she had to be imagining things. There was no way on earth Master Jay could be the same person as the man she’d known as…