Lola Rose (29 page)

‘It wasn't for Kendall. It was for me. To make Mum better,' I said. ‘She
is
better, isn't she, Auntie Barbara?'

I held the shark tooth so that it dug into my palm. Auntie Barbara looked at me. She was struggling. Then tears started splashing down her flushed face.

‘No, she's worse,' she said, starting to sob. ‘They can't get her temperature down. The antibiotics don't seem to be working. That's why I came to collect you. You're not allowed to see Mum but I thought you could call to her from the corridor.'

‘She's dying, isn't she?' said Kendall.

‘No!' I said.

‘Maybe she might be dying, Lola Rose,' said Auntie Barbara. She put her arm round my shoulder.

‘She can't be! I made her better! I stood right next to the sharks. They swam right up close, but I didn't run away. I've got the magic tooth. She
can't
be dying!' I sobbed. ‘What did I do wrong? Should I have stayed longer?
What?
'

‘Stop it, Lola Rose. You haven't done anything wrong. You haven't made Mum ill – and you can't make her better, no matter what you do.'

‘I
can
. I've tried so hard. I've got the lucky shark's tooth, look!'

‘Let me see! Where did you get it?
I
want it,' Kendall cried, trying to snatch it.

‘It's
Mum's
,' I said, holding it high above his head.

‘Then we'll go and give it to her,' said Auntie Barbara. ‘But it's a present, Lola Rose. It's not magic. It can't make her better.'

‘It can!'

‘Well . . . we can give it a go,' said Auntie Barbara. ‘I'm going to have the quickest wash and change ever, kids, OK? Ready in five minutes.'

I decided to change too. I put on my best black top and purple velvet skirt. It was too hot for a furry jacket but I wore it anyway. I dressed Kendall in his black leather jacket although he complained. And he went on and on about the shark's tooth.

‘I keep telling you, Kendall, it's for Mum. But when we go back to the aquarium I'll ask for one for you.'

‘
Not
when you're meant to be at school,' said Auntie Barbara, bright pink from her quick bath. She wore her purple Thai silk two-piece edged with silver braid and her silver flip-flop sandals.

‘You look lovely, Auntie Barbara.'

‘Thank you, Lola Rose. So do you. And you too, Kendall. OK, have you got your shark's tooth? Right then, darlings. Off we go.'

We met Andy and Steve coming up the stairs.

‘You look like you're going to a party,' said Steve.

The Voice of Doom bellowed through the banisters.
A farewell party
. I clutched my shark's tooth so hard all the way to the hospital that it scored a deep red scratch on my palm.

‘It's bitten you,' said Kendall.

We trailed along endless polished corridors. Kendall's sandals squeaked, my heels tapped and Auntie Barbara's flip-flops slapped at every step. When we got to Mum's ward Auntie Barbara made us wait while she went into the side room where they were now nursing her.

We waited a long time. I took Kendall's hand.

‘That's not the shark's-tooth hand, is it? I don't want it to bite me too.'

‘It's in my other hand. It's OK.'

‘It isn't OK, is it, Lola Rose?' Kendall said, weaving his fingers into mine. ‘What have they done with our mum? Why won't they let us go and see her?'

‘We might be too germy. But Auntie Barbara says we can call to her. Shall we try calling now?'

‘What will we say?'

‘Anything. Stuff like “We love you, Mum. Get better soon.”'

‘I shall feel silly, calling out,' said Kendall. ‘All these ill people will stare at us.'

‘We'll go right up close, by the door. Come on.'

We walked to the door of Mum's side room. It was half open. I peeped round fearfully. Mum was there in the bed, but she had a mask over her face and tubes running in and out of her. I could only be sure she was Mum because of the blonde hair tumbled on her pillow. A nurse was taking her temperature and arguing with Auntie Barbara.

‘It's more than my life's worth to let the kids in, you know that,' she said.

‘What does it matter now?' said Auntie Barbara. ‘Think of the children. They need to see their mum. And it could just help her. She loves those kids so.'

‘I think she's out of it already,' said the nurse.

I started crying and the nurse looked up. She saw me – and then nodded.

‘OK. Quick. Come and see your mum for two minutes. But I'm scooting out of here, right?'

Kendall and I tiptoed towards the bed. Auntie Barbara carefully threaded her arm through all Mum's tubes and stroked her clenched fist.

‘Nikki, sweetheart, the kids are here. Jayni and Kenny. Lola Rose and Kendall. They've come to say hello.'

Mum's eyes stayed shut. Her hand didn't unclench.

‘Mum?' I said. ‘Can you hear me, Mum? Listen, I want you to have this.' I reached for her clenched hand and gently prised her fingers open. I squeezed the shark's tooth inside. ‘There! You'll never guess what it is, Mum. It's a shark's tooth, a real one. It's really really lucky. I did this hour-long ordeal and it was my reward. It's going to make you better.'

Mum didn't stir.

‘I haven't got a shark's tooth to give you but you can have a whole shark if you want,' said Kendall. He thrust grubby George under Mum's arm.

‘Did you hear that, Mum? Kendall's given you George,' I said.

‘Not for ever and ever,' Kendall said. ‘It's just a borrow.'

‘But you can keep the shark's tooth. When you're better we could bore a hole in it and hang it on a piece of string round your neck.'

‘I'm not wearing a tacky bit of
string
,' Mum mumbled, making us all jump. She opened her eyes.

‘You're still alive, Mum!' I sobbed.

‘Of course I am. And I'm going to get better. I've got to look after you two, haven't I? Now clear off, kids. I've got a lousy headache and you're doing my head in.'

We kissed her burning forehead, Auntie Barbara, then Kendall, then me. I took George back because I knew Kendall wouldn't be able to sleep without him – and George was a total germtrap too.

‘I've made you better, haven't I, Mum?' I whispered.

‘
I've
made me better,' said Mum. ‘I can do anything. I'm Lady Luck, aren't I?'

Mum's fever went down, but she had to stay in hospital a while. Then she was well enough to come home, though she still had to go for her treatment. First the chemotherapy, weeks of it.

All Mum's beautiful long blonde hair started falling out after the second treatment. It was so scary at first. Kendall and I were cuddled up with her in bed in the morning and when she sat up great long locks of her hair stayed on her pillow.

‘Oh my God,' Mum gasped. She put her hands to her head, feeling the bald patches. ‘This is just like being in a bloody horror movie!'

‘Never mind, Mum. It's only a few curls,' I lied.

Mum's fingers ran along her scalp, feeling. More hair fell out there and then, fluttering down over her nightie in long pale strands. Mum started whimpering, hanging onto her head with both hands as if she were trying to keep the rest of her hair in place.

Kendall started crying too, his eyes screwed up so he couldn't see Mum properly.

‘What's up now?' said Auntie Barbara, sailing into the room in the great black silky caftan she wore as a nightie.

‘Look!' Mum wailed.

‘Oh God, your hair, you poor love,' said Auntie Barbara. ‘Right. I know what we can do. Lola Rose, you've got a pair of sharp scissors, haven't you?'

‘It's cut-my-throat time, right?' Mum sniffed.

‘I'm going to cut your hair, Nik.'

‘No! I've always had long hair. It's part of me.'

‘Not any more, darling,' said Auntie Barbara sadly. ‘Come on, sit on the chair, and we'll get snipping. It'll be less strain on the roots if it's very short. Maybe we'll be able to keep some of it that way.'

Auntie Barbara cut Mum's hair really short. I gathered up all the locks and twisted them into a big soft plait and tied it up with purple ribbon.

‘You can pin it back on, Mum,' I said.

‘It's not going to work. I look awful. Like a skinhead,' said Mum, crying.

‘No, you know who you
do
look like, Mum?' I said, staring at her ruffled short hair and pale face on her little stalk neck. ‘Kendall!'

‘Great!' said Mum. But then she wiped her eyes and stuck out her bottom lip and lisped, ‘I want George!' Her Kendall imitation was spot on and we all laughed.

Cutting her hair so short didn't really work. It all fell out anyway until poor Mum was completely bald. Her head looked horribly naked. The hospital gave her a wig but it didn't look right and Mum said it itched like crazy. She cut up some of Auntie Barbara's Thai silk into scarves and wound them round and round her head, and then she pinned the plait I'd made her at the back.

‘That looks ever so pretty, Mum!' I said.

‘Pretty frightful,' said Mum, peering into the mirror and sighing. She puffed out her cheeks. ‘And I'm not just an old baldy-bonce. I'm getting
fat
.'

I always thought you got thin when you got cancer. Mum really
was
getting fatter. The chemotherapy drugs gave her a big round face and a big round body too.

‘Yuck! Look at me,' she said, struggling to pull her zip up over her stomach. ‘I'm going to have to buy some new jeans. New everything.' Even her lovely white jacket was too tight for her. ‘You'd better have it, Lola Rose,' she said.

‘It's yours, Mum. You'll get thin again when you're better.'

‘I don't think I'm ever going to get better. And what's the bloody point if I end up looking like a freak? I can't
stick
being so fat!'

Auntie Barbara sniffed. ‘Shut up, skinny. Try being me!'

But Auntie Barbara wasn't quite as fat as she had been. She wasn't on a diet, but she didn't have time to eat so much while she was running around looking after us and rushing back to see to the pub at weekends.

‘Maybe I'll fit into real clothes soon,' said Auntie Barbara. ‘If so I'll turn my purple silk wrap-around into a bedspread for you, Lola Rose.'

‘No, I'll need it. I'm blowing up like a bouncy castle,' said Mum.

‘You're not. You're still weeny compared to me,' said Auntie Barbara.

‘Well, that's not hard,' said Mum.

‘Mum! Don't be mean!' I said.

Mum pulled a face. ‘I'm allowed to be mean. I'm the one that's ill. And at least Barb's still got a full head of hair.'

‘Yours will grow back, I promise. It'll be as blonde and curly as ever,' said Auntie Barbara, giving Mum a hug. ‘Just wait till you've finished your chemotherapy.'

‘Then it'll be radiotherapy. Therapy! Is that a fancy word for torture? First they poison you and then they burn you.'

‘But they make you better,' said Auntie Barbara. ‘Now quit your moaning!'

‘You quit your nagging!'

They weren't really arguing. It was just their little game with each other. They started singing their ‘Sisters' song, harmonizing beautifully.

‘We'll have to do a star turn down The Trout,' said Auntie Barbara.

‘Oh yeah, and do a spot of lap-dancing too?'

‘I'm serious.' Auntie Barbara looked at Mum, her eyes very blue. ‘Why don't you and the kids come and move in with me? You'd go down really great with all my regulars. I'll give you a half share in the pub. You should have had it in the first place. You can help me to modernize it. What do you think?'

I held my breath. Mum's face screwed up. She blinked and tears spilled down her cheeks.

‘Yeah, all right,' she said, like she'd just been offered a cup of tea – but she reached out and clasped Auntie Barbara's hands tight.

‘What do you think, Lola Rose and Kendall?' asked Auntie Barbara. ‘How do you both fancy living in the pub with me?'

‘Can I drink beer?' Kendall asked.

‘No, but you can drink Coke and have lots of packets of crisps,' said Auntie Barbara. ‘And I've got a lovely big pub garden. Tell you what! We could have a little pond with goldfish. I don't think we could have real trout, even though it would be appropriate. And no sharks!'

‘Except for my George! Could he swim in it?'