Love Abstract (The Art of Falling Book 2) (7 page)

“I know. I just don't have the patience for swarms of people right now.” I look out the window and see an elderly man with a cane moving faster on the sidewalk.

“And you'd prefer to sit in the parking lot known as Fifth Avenue during rush hour?”

“I know, I know …” I hate it when he’s right. And he is almost always right.

“Well, your dad and I are about to be seated, so we will see you whenever you get here.”

“Okay. Go easy on him, Phoenix. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

I end the call and begin taking notes on my phone with tomorrow's to-do list for work. With less than a month until opening, there is still far too much to do: contact the lighting company, the invite list for the press preview, providing the showcase list to insurance, and a dozen other odds and ends tasks. By the time we finally pull up in front of The NoMad, my list is nearly twenty items long. Of course, my dad couldn’t just dine at one of our favorite local dives. He went and picked the fancy restaurant in his hotel. Phoenix and I will surely be out of our element here.

Once inside, I easily find their table. I'm shocked to find them laughing heartily over a two glasses of whiskey neat.

“And just what is so funny?” I smile as they both stand to greet me. My dad gives me a quick hug.

“Oh, I was just telling Phoenix about the time you drove my Jaguar into the side of the garage when your mother and I were out of town. I still can't believe you called a contractor to fix it before we got home.”

He grins at the ridiculous memory, and I can’t help but smile back at him. The only reason they even found out was because I gave a hilarious drunk confession during Easter dinner my freshman year of college.

“And don't forget I brought the car to the dealer to touch up the paint I scraped off.” I beam at them both and give Phoenix a kiss. “Lesson number one in stealing your parent’s car—don’t do something wrong when doing something wrong. And if you do, make sure you cover it up.”

“You're incredible.” Phoenix shakes his head in disbelief as he pulls my chair out from under the table.

“Thorough is more like it.” I sit down and place the napkin in my lap. “So are you two behaving?”

I feel horrible leaving him with my dad for so long, but he seems to have fared well. I know how badly Phoenix wants to lay into him for the way he and my mom treated me in the past. But I appreciate him heeding my request and giving my dad a chance, all things considered.

“Yeah, we're behaving,” Phoenix says with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Just sharing a few of my favorite stories from when you were growing up. Nothing you need to worry about, Ivy.” Dad reaches out and gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Ooookay.” Phoenix secretly winks at me as my dad looks down at his menu.

I open the menu and scan the entrees, quickly realizing just how out of place I am. No longer am I privy to expensive dinners like this.
Not that I ever truly enjoyed them in the first place.
It reminds me of just how far I’ve come in a few short months. I’ve turned my life around and learned how to stand on my own two feet.

Much to my surprise, the dinner conversation flows seamlessly. Phoenix impresses my dad, detailing the rooftop garden remodel he’s drafting for a swanky Manhattan boutique hotel. Then he intently listens to me babble about my first encounter with Brock and all of the challenges I foresee in my future. It’s the first dinner I’ve had with a family member where we all seem genuinely happy.

Admittedly, it’s a nice change.

After he clears the plates from the table, our waiter returns with the dessert menu. The decadence of each practically leaps off of the page. I wish I could taste one of everything.

“So, Ivy, have you talked to your sister at all?” Dad shifts in his seat and Phoenix goes silent. The look he gives me speaks volumes, and we both notice the tension shift in the air at our table.

“No, I have nothing to say to her.” I’ve deleted her texts without reading them, and her few attempted calls have been sent straight to voicemail. The thought of even hearing her voice makes me get all stabby.

“Well, I think you should. She’s had a lot going on and—”

“We’re not having this conversation, Dad. After everything that happened, I have nothing to say to her. End of story.”

He looks surprised when I snap, and it dawns on me that he may have no clue as to the full extent of what went down before I left Chicago. It’s not like Genevieve or my mother would ever admit it to anyone. Even so, I’m not about to cater to her ego just because she feels bad or because my dad
thinks
I should.

Phoenix reaches out and squeezes my knee under the table, offering a small reassuring smile. He’s proud of me. Hell,
I
’
m
proud of me.

“I’m sorry. I’m going to pass on dessert. If you’ll excuse me a moment.” I place my napkin on the table and excuse myself to the restroom.

Sometimes a little space and a cleansing breath is all I need.

I wash my hands a little too aggressively and stare at my reflection in the mirror.
So much for an enjoyable evening. I get points for trying, right?

When I emerge, Phoenix is waiting for me outside the door with my purse.

“Don’t be mad, but I invited your dad back to our apartment. He says he needs to talk to you about something.”

I stand there with my mouth agape. I’m shocked that Phoenix would do something like this considering my dad is trying to push Genevieve back into my life. He should know better.

“If it’s about Gen, I’m not talking about it.”

“I really don’t think that’s what it’s about. But whatever it is, he made it seem like it was important. Maybe you should just listen? Have an open mind, okay?”

I sigh and take my purse from his hands.

“Fine. But the minute he brings Gen back up, he’s outta there.”

BY THE TIME WE GOT back home it is nearly ten thirty. Between the heavy dinner and the half carafe of wine I single-handedly polished off, I’m getting sleepy and frankly a little tired of all this small talk. I stifle a yawn, trying not to be rude.

I watch my dad take a calculated sip of water and brace himself.

“Say, Phoenix, would you mind if I talk to Ivy alone for a few minutes?”

Oh, shit. This means business.

Phoenix looks to me and raises an eyebrow. I give a subtle nod, letting him know I’ll be okay. I truly appreciate him looking out for me, but he can’t protect me from all of the monsters in this world and demons of my past, no matter how hard he tries.

“No problem, sir. I need to send a few quick emails for work.” Phoenix stands, gives me a soft kiss and walks into the kitchen, giving us some privacy. My dad watches him intently as he leaves the room.

“You know, Ivy, there’s a way that a man looks at a woman when he knows he’s found the one. And Phoenix has had that look on his face all night long.”

I smile at his observation, knowing it’s true. One single look from him makes me feel
everything
.

“I’ve been watching you both together and what you have is something special. He always puts you first, Ivy. I hope you realize that when you put the person you love first, you will
never
be second.”

I chew on his words for a moment, recognizing just how true they are. My heart clenches at the thought of my parents’ marriage and I wonder if there was ever a time when my mother put him first.

He stands from the chair and comes to sit next to me on the couch. “I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished here in such a short span of time.”

He’s not a man of many compliments, but I can tell he’s building up to something. Something bad. I wring my hands and play with the loose hemline on the bottom of my dress.

“Ivy,” he says, reaching out to place his hand on top of mine and gives it a gentle squeeze. There’s a spark in his eyes that I’ve never seen before, one of happiness and content. But hidden within are traces of anxiety. Resentment. “I came here tonight because I wanted to tell you in person … I’m leaving your mother.”

He lets the words float between us for a while as he silently squeezes my hand. I’m not quite sure how I
should
feel at this moment given the history with my parents, but relief pulses through my veins. I offer a small, tight smile and a nod. There are no words I can give to a relationship that never made any sense to me in the first place.

There is peace in death. And the death of their relationship is no different.

“Say something,” he whispers.

“Why?”

It’s probably the stupidest thing I could ask. It’s an answer that I certainly don’t need. I don’t think he has ever been truly happy. Even when he followed suit with Mom’s behavior, he never acted out in malice. He was simply …
persuaded
to act as less of a father toward me.

“Oh, Ivy. There are a million reasons. But we aren’t very good for each other. At least not anymore. As we got older, we simply grew apart rather than together, and now we both want very different things out of life.”

I nod in understanding. Growing together seems to be at the core of every successful relationship. And my mom much preferred to be a raging selfish bitch rather than grow as a person. As a couple. Good for him for putting himself out of his misery.

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you, Dad.”

He nods and exhales slowly, clearly still carrying a burden on his shoulders.

“That’s not all …” he continues softly, worry suddenly streaking down his face. “Now, what I’m about to tell you, I don’t want it to make you upset.”

I look over my shoulder wishing Phoenix would magically appear. He gives me strength, and something in my dad’s face tells me I’m going to need all the strength I can get.

“It doesn’t change how I feel about you at all. But it’s something I’ve suspected for years.”

How he feels about
me?

I pull my hand out from his to cross my arms and shift in my seat.

“Dad, you’re scaring me.”

“I really don’t know how to say this …” His eyes wander around the room, looking at everything but me.

“Dad!”

“You’re not my daughter,” he whispers and my insides drop to the floor. I feel as if I could throw up. “No, no. I mean, you
are
my daughter and always will be. You’re just … not mine. Biologically.”

He fumbles over his words as my heart sinks into the pit of my stomach. I swallow hard, reining in the need to vomit. It’s hard to fight the feeling when you’re suddenly this light-headed.

“But it doesn’t mean that I love you any less because you will always be my daughter in every sense of the word. And I will always be your dad.”

I don’t hear anything else he says over the pulsing beat of my heart in my ears. My hands tremble, and I close my eyes, trying my best to force a calming breath. The phrase
not my daughter
rings through my mind and leaves a biting taste in my mouth. He keeps talking, but I have no idea what he’s saying.

The one sliver of a redeeming person in my family isn’t really my family. I’m not even of his blood. And just because I share
her
blood doesn’t make her my family.

I finally have the answer I’ve been looking for.

Since birth, I have been a thorn in my mother’s side.

And now I know exactly why ... I am a constant reminder of her infidelity and she resents me.

I’ve wasted so much of my young life trying to figure out just what I did to her to make her hate me so much. I always just assumed it was because I was the rebel who couldn’t be contained.

But
this
?

This explains so much.

The never-ending disapproval. The constant comparison to Genevieve, Mother’s golden daughter. How her glare spoke volumes of loathing and contempt.

My thoughts shift outward when I feel him grabbing both of my shoulders, giving me a gentle shake. Sorrow pools in his eyes and instantly shatters what is left of my heart.

“I love you, Ivy. And that will never change.”

He may not be my father, but this man most certainly is my dad.

THAT NIGHT IN BED, PHOENIX curls up against my back and wraps his arms around me. I’ve been an incoherent mess since my dad left, but his very presence gives me sanity.

He switches from running his fingers through my hair to tracing his hands over my arm. His breath is hot as it skims the back of my neck each time he exhales, enveloping me in a warm embrace.

Phoenix brings his face down close to my ear. “I know there isn’t anything I can do or say right now to take away the hurt you’re feeling. But I want you to know if I could, I would—in a heartbeat. You’re not just someone important thing to me, Ivy. You’re my everything.”

I roll over to face Phoenix and he thumbs away a rogue tear from my cheek. I may be delicate right now, but he doesn’t treat me like glass.

“Listen to me, Ivy.” His eyes pierce mine, as his face turns flat, serious. He speaks slowly. Deliberately. “You know
exactly
who you are. Where you belong. And what you are—and aren’t—willing to compromise. Nothing from your past will ever shake that.”

I absorb his words and know he’s right. I bury my head in his shoulder. My shoulders quake, but his arms keep me whole.

“Thank you,” I whisper into the darkness between us. “Thank you for giving me strength.”
And for loving me in spite of being screwed up and royally damaged.

He kisses the top of my head. “What can I say, Ivy? You’re my weakness. And I’d do absolutely anything for you.”

At that moment, I know he’s speaking the truth in his heart.