Love Exactly (17 page)

Evan was exhausted and who could blame him? I wondered how much of his life he spent running on empty, and how he could keep doing it year after year, album after album. I watched as the sun began to dance through the curtains, washing over his muscular shoulders and the image of him laying so peaceful there pulled out my emotions. Two weeks had passed since Evan last posted a snippet from my novel, and I already had over a thousand followers on my website. I had even more of those people begging me for a release date. My inbox was overflowing and Evan’s support as I tried to hold it together was essential. He made it all seem as though it would be okay. There were already people whining about my overnight success. I hadn’t even sold one book and there were people waiting to rip me apart. I didn’t know how well I would handle it, but I knew Evan would be by my side when they did. As I let my fingers slowly trace his shoulder blade to his strong chin I realized I could stay in this calm forever. I rested my hand on the stubble that always adorned his distinct features and let my thumb trace the line of his thin lips. He let out a sigh and opened his eyes before closing them once more as his hand moved over mine. He took my palm and kissed it before whispering to me.

“Another reason I love waking up next to you.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

He sighed again, this one softer than the last as he opened his eyes.

“The touch of your skin against mine,” was his answer.

It started with soft kisses down my palm, over my hand, up my arm, to my shoulder, and my neck; each so slow I felt I might go insane by the time his lips reached mine, but when they finally did the kisses remained feathers. His hand slid up the curve of my neck and tilted it; his tongue washed over my skin and caused my body to stiffen in pleasure.

I pushed his shoulders back and began kissing each of the tattoos on his chest, following them up his chin and to his lips. There was hesitation there and he pulled away to look down at me, his eyes darting over my face.

“I’ve never felt whole before you,” he whispered as his fingers ran over the top of my shoulders.

“I think we’ve found what love is, exactly,” I replied as my fingers outlined the shape of his chin before he leaned back down to part my lips with his own.

Love is never breaking a promise, no matter how hard it is to keep. I was finding the promise of going to the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame Awards even more difficult than the follow through of publishing my book. If I was going to do it; I was going to do it all on the same day. It was easy to hit the publish button, but as we sat in the limo waiting for our turn on the red carpet I was panicking. I could see the flashes of the cameras through the tinted windows, and I knew many of them were waiting to see exactly who I was.

The thought caused a cold sweat to begin on my bare shoulders, making them stick to the leather in an unpleasant way. I leaned forward as Evan looked over at me and smiled before he kissed my cheek.

“Thank you for doing this,” he whispered and warmth flooded my body. I knew I was doing it for all the right reasons.

I smiled back and looked down at the flowing silk dress with lace laid over the bodice. “It’s a good thing this make-up is waterproof. I feel like I just ran a marathon.”

Evan’s face was still close to mine, and he laid his hand on my neck to check my pulse. “I can feel your heart racing…Please, don’t be so nervous.”

His breath washed over the skin of my neck as he kissed it slowly.

“Are you trying to make me forget what we’re about to do?” I gasped as he let his teeth run over my skin.

His laugh tickled my skin before his lips worked their way up to my own. His hand slipped down my shoulders to my waist and he pulled me into him. In response I pressed my body hard against his; glad the limo didn’t have seatbelts. I suddenly didn’t care about the flashing outside the windows, instead I let my arms wrap around his neck and my hands rushed into the soft hair of the back of his head. Evan pulled away as the limo began to slow, letting one of his fingers twirl into a curl that fell in front of my face.

“You know how much I love you, right?” I asked with a smile.

“You know I love you more?” he teased, kissing me one more time and looking over my shoulder. “We’re here.”

I slid off his lap and took a shaky breath. “Marc Jacobs isn’t going to help me not fall flat on my face.”

Evan laughed. “It’s not a Marc Jacobs.”

“I’m not sure I care what it is. My stiletto is going to get stuck, and I’m going to fall flat on my face,” I muttered, lifting the long dress up and looking at the five inch spikes adorning my thin feet.

“I’ll carry you?” he suggested, his hand over his smirking lips.

“I hate you.”

“You just confessed how much you love me a few seconds ago—what changed?” he asked, and then scooting closer, pulled me back into his lap saying, “Admit you just love me for my body.”

“I’ll save that for later,” I teased as I leaned in to kiss him, but the chauffeur coughed to interrupt us.

Evan looked up at me and smiled. “Thank you for doing this.”

I nodded as he reached for the handle of the door. “Wait!” I stopped him with my hand, and adjusted the sapphire colored tie that matched my dress. “Okay.”

My mind was screaming to stop; to never step foot out of the vehicle onto the red carpet. It was telling me to stay the secret lover of the famous singer. It was telling me I wasn’t ready for the fame and the ridicule.

Evan opened the door and the screaming of the crowd was deafening. He held his hand out for me and I stepped into the blinding flash of cameras.

“Holy,” I whispered as Evan shut the door behind me and wrapped his arm around my waist. The only thing that could calm me was the feeling of his body so close to mine.
 
He needed this. He needed me to support him like he supported me.

“Don’t forget to breathe,” he whispered into my ear and as a smile came to my lips the cameras started with the blinding flashes again.

“Are they trying to blind us?” I asked, keeping my arms to my side even though instinctive begged me to use them to cover my eyes.

“It’s not as bad when we get further in, then the questions will begin…which I guess is just as bad.”

I glanced over at him, my brows furrowed. “Evan?”

He turned to face me, both hands on either sides of my face. “You can do this. I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t think you were ready.”

I put my hands over his and closed my eyes. I opened them as he pressed his forehead to mine. The flashing hadn’t stopped, and neither had the screaming, but all I could see was his hazel eyes staring into mine, reaching into my soul and reassuring me.

“If you’re not ready I can call the limo driver—” he began, but I cut him off with the shake of my head. “Are you positive?”

I nodded and his hands moved to cup my face as his lips touched mine with one soft kiss.

“For the love of God Evan, Emma, let’s go!” Paul demanded from behind us. “You can make out later—that’s what the limo is for!”

Evan’s lips were still on mine as he shook his fist at Paul. I pulled away laughing and Evan slipped his arm back around my waist.

“Just because you’re not getting any!” Evan called over his shoulder to Paul as we moved further up the carpet.

Evan led me, stopping at the proper areas and posing for the cameras. Once we were about half-way through the microphones started to get shoved in our faces along with cameras.

“This is the infamous secret girlfriend?” Reporter after reporter asked. “Who is she?”

Evan would introduce me.

“What does she do?” One asked and Evan looked over at me and nodded for me to answer.

“I’m an author. I just published my first novel,” I answered, and the swarm of reporters turned to face me.

“What’s the book called? When did it come out? How do we get it?” the questions were rapid fire and Evan put his hand up to stop them as my face turned red.

“You’ll just have to check out my Facebook page to get that information,” he said, his hand put a slight pressure on the small of my back to tell me to keep walking.

“Holy crap,” I whispered over my shoulder into his ear. “How do you handle that all the time?”

He squeezed me as we turned for another picture. “Just smile and keep walking. Let the publicists deal with it.”

“I don’t have a publicist.”

He kissed my cheek. “You have me.”

I shook my head at him. “How do you do it?”

“What?” he asked, his eyes only on me.

“Make me feel like we’re the only people in the world when there are hundreds of people poking their cameras in our faces.”

He winked at me and we turned to another set of microphones.

When we reached the end of the carpet another reporter was standing waiting for us. This one had an Entertainment Tonight press pass.

“Do you have a few minutes for a quick interview?” the woman asked, and I looked down at her badge: Angelina.

Evan looked at me and I nodded. “Sure.”

“So this is the elusive girlfriend?” Angelina asked.

“Yes, this is Emma. You guys have been trying to find out who she was for what, a year now?” Evan teased with an eyebrow raised.

Angelina smiled and nodded. “Why keep it secret until now?”

Evan shrugged, his arm still tight around me. “Emma isn’t used to the level of attention I get. We wanted to let our relationship develop out of the lime light.”

“How did you meet?”

Evan and I smiled at each other. “She rammed into me and spilled her coffee all over the place.”

“That’s so cute!” Angelina commented. “And you hit it off from there?”

“Just one cup of coffee, and I was hooked.”

I smiled at the answer I was starting to view as ‘his line’ about me.

“So, you’re a…normal person?” she asked me, blinking her eyelashes as if it was ridiculous. Her straight foreword question took the smile from my face and I swallowed.

“By normal you mean not a celebrity? Not a supermodel? No.”

As the girl looked me up and down, Evan leaned in and kissed my shoulder. “She certainly could be a supermodel, though.”

“How long do you think it’ll last?” she continued.

Evan paused, and turned his head away from me to face her with slow precision, his jaw clenched. “How long will what last?”

She used her hands to signal between us. “You know with her not being famous.”

My body had gone numb at the accusation. Evan never made me feel like I was less of a person because I didn’t share in his fame. In fact he always made me feel I was special because of it.

Evan shook his head at her before turning to face me.

“Forever,” he said as Paul came up and threw a box at him.

He opened the box, knelt on one knee and looked up at me.

“How does forever sound?”

I’d like to thank my husband for continuing to support me as we journey through the ins and outs of publishing and life—without him I couldn’t do this. My best friend, my soul mate…

Ellen, you are an amazing mentor, friend and editor. I enjoy your sometimes blunt, yet always constructive comments. I’m glad you see me growing strength to strength, but you should know you’re part of the reason that is happening.

To my best friends at home and elsewhere: Carley, Marsha and Faith— you guys always know what to say to make me laugh. Your support, sense of humor and great conversation always give me something to write about.

To my amazing parents: I can never say how grateful I am to have you supporting every step I take—for being my parents when I need a good slap and my best friends the rest of the time.

Last, but never least, to the bloggers who constantly support me as an independent author. I mean it when I say bloggers and readers make an author’s career. The success of the indie author rebellion is due in part to your commitment to allowing us to hone our craft.

Thank you.

Cassandra doesn’t remember a time when she wasn’t writing. In fact, the first time she was published was when she was seven years old and won a contest to be published in an American Girl Doll novel. Since then Cassandra has written more novels than she can count and put just as many in the circular bin. Her personal goal with her writing is to show the reader the character’s stories through their dialogue and actions instead of just telling the reader what is happening. In 2012 she became a published Young Adult author, releasing
In Between Seasons (The Fall, #1)
and
Walking in the Shadows.
In 2013 she branched out by using her artistic illustrating talents to publish her first Children’s novel,
The Adventures of Skippy Von Flippy: Tales of Friendship (Skippy Tales, #1).
Cassandra will also release her first New Adult novel,
Just One Cup
, in the Spring of 2013.

Cassandra is a freelance professional photographer known for her automotive, nature and architectural shots. She is the owner of
Gio Design Studios
,
a photography and publication marketing company that designs covers and marketing materials for authors utilizing the company’s photography. She is currently studying to receive a degree in Marketing. Cassandra is happily married to the man of her dreams and they live in the rolling hills of New England with the other loves of her life their dogs, Bubski and Kanga.