Love or Something Like It (2 page)

My family's reaction wasn't much better. When Mom and Dad found out, they sat me down and gave me the Matt Parker Rule Book (Matt's name for all the stuff we're not allowed to do together). My sisters, who at seven and ten are too young to have an opinion about who I go out with, made it crystal clear that they like Billy more than Matt. Even my extended family—two aunts, two uncles, four cousins, my eighty-year-old grandmother, and her newlywed husband, Willy—have managed to weigh in on the topic.

Tonight at dinner at Gaga's, they grilled me about Matt and it was seriously annoying. I wish Sophie could have been here visiting Willy, her grandpa. Sophie, Gaga, and my cousin Amanda are the only ones who don't disapprove of my relationship. Why can't they all just trust my judgment knowing that I like him?

I like him a lot. I
more
than like him. I keep replaying the day I went to the beach with him earlier this week and how we kissed in the ocean and then he wrote the note on my arm asking me if I would go out with him. It was hands-down the best day of my life. Since it happened, it's what I've thought about every night as I've gone to sleep. And it's what I'm thinking about now, so I don't get why thoughts of other people keep creeping into my brain. But they are.

Why do I care what other people think? I don't. OK. Maybe I do, a little. Dad always says when you start worrying about what other people think is when you have something to start worrying about.

Seriously, April. Get a grip.

I don't care what you think about me.
I don't think about you at all.

—Coco Chanel

Monday, March 10, 7:22 a.m.
At the kitchen table
Eating funnel cakes
(For breakfast)
A bad sign

I have a bad feeling about this morning, and it's all because Dad made funnel cakes for breakfast. May reminded him it's what we ate when we went to the circus last year, which made me think, (a) Who serves circus food to their children for what is widely considered to be the most important meal of the day? And (b) When everyone at school finds out I'm going out with Matt, will I be talked about like some freaky Big Top attraction?

One thing's for sure: I'm not ready to face the crowds.

8:52 p.m.

No one said anything. All day, during school, I kept waiting for it. I was sure that one minute, everything would be totally normal, kids going about their day, and in the next, there would be an information explosion. I pictured students at Faraway Middle examining bits and pieces of my story like shrapnel, and adding their own opinions to the mix.

As weird as that sounds, I think part of me might have preferred it like that. At least I would have known what people were thinking. But that's not what happened.

No one said a word about Matt and me. Were they just thinking things or saying stuff behind my back? I know it sounds like I'm paranoid, but when everyone found out I kissed Matt while I was going out with Billy, it was the only thing anyone was talking about.

I just don't want to be that thing again.

9:17 p.m.
Still thinking

I don't know why I'm hung up on this.

The only people who could have said something at school were Billy and Brynn. Since no one said anything, I don't think they did. The only other person who could say anything would be Matt.

He doesn't say much when he's with me, so I don't think he would to other people.

9:21 p.m.
Not taking any chances
Texting Matt

9:39 p.m.
Where is my brain?

I can't believe I just texted that to Matt.

I realized how dumb I sounded the minute he texted back, so I quickly made up the excuse about Brynn. It's been eighteen minutes and he hasn't texted back. It usually freaks me out when he doesn't text back.

But this time I'm glad he let it drop.

Tuesday, March 11, 1:43 p.m.
Study Hall
EVERYONE KNOWS!!!

I had a bad feeling when I got to school this morning that today would be the day, and I was right. At lunch, I was sitting with Emily, Kate, and Vanessa and we were talking about dance practice, which is starting up again at the high school after school today, when Julia Lozano came up to our table.

“April, I heard you're going out with Matt Parker! Is it true?”

Emily, Kate, and Vanessa all looked at me. Emily looked like she couldn't believe I hadn't told her. Kate looked like she wanted confirmation. And Vanessa looked like the salad she was eating went down the wrong pipe.

Everyone was staring at me. I wasn't sure if I was going to throw up or pass out. I said the first thing that came to mind. “Who told you?” It could only be one of two people.

“I can't say.” Julia ran her fingers across her lips like they were zipped shut.

I had to know. “Was it Billy?”

Julia laughed. “God, no!” she said.

I had my answer.

6:45 p.m.
Home from dance
Crappy day

Kids are supposed to go to school to talk about things like algebraic equations, chemical elements, and verb tenses. But today, I was the only thing anyone was talking about. News of Matt and me was everywhere. People weren't just talking about me. They were talking to me. At least eight people (including Beth Schimberg, who almost never talks) asked me if it was true.

As I was walking into math class, Ashley Simon actually came up to me and said she was surprised to hear Matt and I are a thing. The way she said “thing” made it sound kind of dirty or dark. I wasn't sure how to respond.

Brynn has math with us and she heard Ashley. I shot her a be-a-good-best-friend-and-protect-me look. But the only thing Brynn did was ask Ashley where she got her skirt.

Even though I was kind of mad at Ashley, the person I was really mad at was Brynn. What made her think she has the right to tell everyone I'm going out with Matt?

When I passed Billy on the way from math to English, he actually asked me if I was OK, which I know was sweet, but it somehow made me feel worse. It meant he'd heard people talking about it too.

I could hardly get through the rest of my afternoon. And things weren't much better when I got to dance practice. During break, Matt and I were the only thing anyone wanted to talk about.

“I don't think you can trust him,” Chloe said, raising an eyebrow. I'm sure that was her way of reminding me that she'd sort-of liked him last fall, and he'd flirted with her, but it turned out he didn't really like her back. Or at least, that was how she saw it.

“Yeah,” said Mya, one of Chloe's best friends. “We're in his grade, so we see him all the time.” I wasn't sure what “seeing him all the time” had to do with anything, but Samantha, one of Chloe's other best friends, explained it.

“He's a flirt,” she said.

All I wanted to do was change the subject. I didn't like thinking about Matt flirting with other girls. Plus, I'm the one he asked out.

“So what do you think of our competition schedule?” I said. Ms. Baumann had just told us that the District competition is early April, and then we have the Regional competition in early May, and if we qualify (which Ms. Baumann said we'd better!) we go to the State competition two weeks later. Thankfully, everyone seemed happy to talk about what's ahead of us this semester.

“We should definitely qualify,” said Sara Feinberg.

Then everyone started jumping into the conversation and talking about which schools had strong teams. I was pleased with my topic-changing skills.

When practice was done, Emily asked if I wanted to walk home together and stop for smoothies. She's still not my favorite person, seeing as she's the one who shared all the details of my kiss with Matt last fall even after I swore her to secrecy. But we've kind of declared an unspoken truce, and I was glad to have the company.

“Matt's super cute,” Emily said as we sat down with our banana smoothies.

I nodded as I sipped.

“I've always thought he was into you,” she said. “I don't think you should listen to what anyone else has to say.”

It was exactly what I wanted to hear.

Wednesday, March 12, 2:16 p.m.
English class

I should be working on a book review of
Ben Franklin's Almanac
right now. But how am I supposed to focus on what happened in the eighteenth century when all I can think about is what happened in study hall? We had a substitute who just let us talk, so I decided it was as good a time as any to ask Brynn if she told people I was going out with Matt.

“Of course!” she said when I asked her.

I was shocked she admitted it so easily. I frowned at her. “Why would you do that?”

Brynn looked at me like I was one of those thousand-piece puzzles that are impossible to figure out. “I thought you'd be happy,” she said defensively. “Every time we talk about Matt you tell me how great he is. I thought you'd want people to know.”

Her answer made me mad. “Don't you think I should have been the one to tell people?”

Brynn shrugged. “Sorry.”

But I didn't think she was sorry at all.

Thursday, March 13, 10:49 p.m.

I have evidence that ESP exists. I was lying in bed thinking that it's weird (not in a good way) to be back in school and not to have seen Matt all week. I must have sent out a vibe or something because right when I was thinking it, he showed up at my window!

“Do you want to come outside?” he asked when I opened the window. I tried not to stare as he ran a hand through his hair. It was getting longer and it looked good on him.

“I better not,” I whispered. I could hear sounds coming from the hallway which meant Mom and Dad weren't in bed yet. “My parents are still up. I don't want to get in trouble.”

“I don't want you to get in trouble either,” Matt smiled.

The way he said it was so cute. I tried to think of something adorable and clever to say, but Matt beat me to it. “Why don't you just stick your head out the window?” Then he grinned. “I don't think a head can get in trouble.”

He had a point. He also had the most irresistible grin I've ever seen. I stuck my head out the window, and when I did, Matt put his hands on the sides of my face and then leaned in towards me and kissed the tip of my nose. Even though it was kind of awkward with most of my body still in my room, Matt Parker had just kissed my nose. My doughy, misshapen nose.

“I should go,” said Matt when he finished.

“Yeah,” I said like I agreed. But the truth is I wanted him to stay.

Friday, March 14, 7:45 p.m.
In my room
Not by choice
Very annoyed

I got sent to my room. I find it shocking that although I'm almost fourteen, my parents think it's age-appropriate to send me to my room. And the reason I was sent is literally so stupid, it's almost not worth writing about. But I have nothing else to do, so I will.

It all started because I was texting during dinner.

“April, are you texting at the table?” asked Dad.

Technically, I was texting under the table. But I didn't think that was the right answer.

Mom shook her head. “We have rules about that.” Then she recited the list of rules and regulations that she and Dad made for how and when and where I'm allowed to use my phone.

I looked up from my phone. Everyone knows that an occasional broken rule (especially when it's one of many that never should have been made) is not the end of the world.

“Sorry,” I said. “It was important.”

“She's texting with Matt,” said May, like that clearly did not qualify as important. “She and Matt are always texting.”

“Yeah,” said June, who I don't think even knows what a text is. “She and Matt are always texting.”

Mom and Dad looked at each other and frowned like my sisters had just announced that I
always
do something really terrible like shoplift.

I could feel anger rising in me. “First of all, I'm not even texting with Matt. For your information, I'm texting with Sophie.” I jammed my phone into June's face. “See,” I said. “This text is to Sophie!” Then for whatever reason (and I think there were a couple of them, including but not limited to the fact that my parents are ridiculously controlling and that I was getting in trouble for something I wasn't even doing), I exploded.

“It's ridiculous that you and Dad have all these crazy rules about how and when I can use my phone. I'll be fourteen next month. FOURTEEN!” I said loudly. I knew my voice was too elevated, but I couldn't stop myself. “FOURTEEN,” I said even louder. When I was done, I could feel little beads of sweat on my forehead.

No one at the table said a word. May and June looked at each other like they knew whatever was coming my way next wasn't going to be good.

Mom broke the silence. “April, texting so much is a waste of time.”

“Having a device you can't use is too.”

“April!”

I've never loved my name, but the way Dad said it made it sound worse than usual. He shook his head like he was disappointed. “You need to take some time and review your tone and attitude. And your room is the place you need to do that.”

So that's where I am. And that's why, as I said, I'm annoyed.

Very annoyed.

I hate it when it snows on my French toast.

—Snoopy

Wednesday, March 19, 6:02.p.m.
DAY 3

Today at dance, Emily asked me how things are going with Matt. I smiled and said things are great. But that's not the case. I haven't seen or heard from him since Sunday, which officially makes three days with no calls, no texts, and no moonlight make-out sessions.

Nothing! And I'm starting to freak out!

It's just so weird. Sunday afternoon I went over to his house, and we made popcorn and hung out on his couch watching this scary movie called
I Know What You Did Last Summer
. We had a blast watching it together. I kept screaming when scary stuff happened. Every time I screamed, Matt put his arm around me and pulled me in close to him. And every time he pulled me close, he stopped watching the movie and started kissing me. When the movie ended, he told me he'd seen the movie a bunch of times, but this time was his favorite.