Love's Someday (19 page)

“Exhausted, but Drew caught a second wind.” Kaitlyn pointed to the corner of the room. Erica caught glimpses through the crowd of Drew dancing between Vicki and Chantal. “My feet hurt, my sweat-soaked bra is chaffing me, and I think I pulled a groin muscle dancing tonight.”

“You find Ashleigh and tell her you’re ready to go, and I’ll do the same with Drew. They won’t argue that way.” Erica knew it was manipulative, but she would’ve resorted to just about anything to get out of there.

“You were really great tonight, Ash,” Kaitlyn whispered as Drew slept with her head on her shoulder in the backseat.

Ashleigh turned and smiled at Kaitlyn. “Thanks,” she whispered back.

“Are you exhausted?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Now that the high of the evening has worn off, I could curl up into a ball on the side of the road and sleep like a dead woman,” Ashleigh said with a yawn. “I hope I can stay awake through a shower.”

Erica didn’t participate as Ashleigh and Kaitlyn talked about the evening. She fought to reconcile herself with Ashleigh’s two distinct personalities. The woman sitting next to her now with her legs crossed and her hands folded between her knees was the woman she’d spent the last five years with. The woman who had performed on stage, who exuded sexuality, and had nearly torn her clothes off backstage was someone she’d never met. Though arousing on some level, it was foreign—and somewhat intimidating.

Once Kaitlyn and Drew were dropped off, Erica and Ashleigh rode in silence to their own home. “Are you hungry?” Ashleigh asked as they let themselves in the back door.

“No, just tired.”

“I’m going to hit the shower then.” Ashleigh headed for the stairs.

Erica watched her go in bewilderment. Ashleigh would have cooked her anything she wanted if she had said yes, all the while dressed in a pair of black leather pants and boots with the white shirt still clinging snugly to her body. It all seemed out of place. How could she be a fallen pop star who had just reclaimed her place on stage one minute and be the domesticated partner she knew in the next?

When Erica did climb into bed, Ashleigh was already asleep. She watched the slow rise and fall of Ashleigh’s bare chest as she lay flat on her back with an arm tucked behind her head, the covers pooled at her waist. As Erica lay propped on one elbow, she gazed down at Ashleigh, tempted to reach out and touch her until she noticed the half moon-shaped birthmark next to her navel. Her thoughts took her back to the night that seemed so long ago when she’d seen that mark and knew that it was Ashleigh in the music video. The sting of betrayal cooled her desire.

Erica laid back and reached over to switch off the bedside lamp casting the room into darkness. Hoping and wanting things to be as they were wasn’t going to happen. Change had come, and whether she wanted to or not, she’d have to learn to cope with it. She could admit that to herself in quiet times like this, but it didn’t stop her from wanting to fight it at every turn.

“We should talk about last night,” Erica said as Ashleigh walked into the kitchen and went straight to the coffeepot. Erica stared down at her cold uneaten breakfast. She’d been dreading the confrontation that she knew was inevitable.

Ashleigh didn’t turn and look at her. When she spoke, her tone was curt. “I apologize. I was high on endorphins last night, and I can assure you it won’t happen again.”

“I’m not like that. I realize that you may be accustomed to having sex next to a room full of people, but I’m—” The rest froze on Erica’s lips as Ashleigh spun around and glared at her. “That came out wrong. I just meant that I’m not comfortable—”

“I know what you meant,” Ashleigh said coldly. “And as I said, it won’t happen again.”

Erica took a deep breath and let it out slowly before asking, “What do you have planned for today?”

“Don’t you have to work?” Ashleigh turned again and added cream and sugar to her coffee.

“Yes, but I thought you might want to do something. I could work later or tomorrow even.” Erica watched as Ashleigh moved to the back door and stared out the window while sipping her coffee. This would not blow over without a full-blown argument. Erica felt her own anger rising as she wondered what right Ashleigh had to be angry with her.

“Let me get this straight. You’re still mad about last night because I didn’t want to have sex?” Erica pushed her plate away.

Ashleigh set her coffee cup on the counter and turned to face Erica. “I am mad, but not about the sex…or lack thereof. You haven’t told me once what you thought about the show. Not one word about how I did.”

Erica rolled her eyes and regretted it that same second as Ashleigh’s face grew redder. “I said I was proud of you.”

“You did say that when Vicki prompted you, but other than that, nothing. I’m not expecting you to gush all over me, but I do wish you would wipe that disapproving look off your face.”

Erica was momentarily at a loss for words. “You were great last night. I’m just…a bit overwhelmed by it all, I guess.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

Ashleigh stood over her now, staring down, trembling with obvious rage. In all the years they’d been together, Erica had never seen her that angry. “You were just someone else on stage last night. It surprised me.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Maybe it is. It’s like living with two different people. You’ve never danced with me, but last night, you moved across that stage like it was second nature. What else do you keep from me?” Erica asked with a wave of her hand.

“You’re right. I am different on stage. I have to be, it’s part of the job. Surely, you can relate. You’re someone else when you’re at the office. Why is it so inexcusable for me?”

Erica moved to her feet abruptly and sent the chair sliding across the kitchen floor. “You know who I am at the office, and you know me here. You’ve never allowed me to see the other side of you, and…I’m not sure I like it. I don’t know the woman who slammed me up against the wall last night and groped me like some teenage boy.”

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Ashleigh said with what sounded like remorse. “I wanted you. I always want you, always desire you. But you can’t say the same about me, can you?”

Later on, Erica would look back on this moment and regret that she didn’t lie. “I’ve tried to deal with this the best way I know how, but I can’t. Sometimes…most of the time lately, you feel like a stranger to me.”

Ashleigh backed across the kitchen and leaned against the counter. “For five years, we’ve shared a bed, shared everything, and you don’t know me?”

“Not everything, Ash.” Erica swallowed hard. It was difficult to admit how unraveled she felt, but it was now or never. “I understand about not wanting to tell anyone about your past, but you should’ve told me at least. And now I’m supposed to take it all in stride as you delve back into a life that I have never been privy to.”

“I’ve apologized for not telling you nearly every day. I was wrong, and I admit it, but what is wrong with me doing something I enjoy? Does it cause conflict with your schedule? No, because you’re always working. If I weren’t hanging out with the band, I’d be sitting here alone each night waiting for you to come home. The bottom line is, that’s exactly how you want it. You live your life, you achieve your goals, and I wait here for you to return. For what? To keep your dinner warm?”

“You know that’s not true,” Erica said as she tried to formulate a viable argument.

Ashleigh angrily wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. “You’re right,” she said calmly. “I guess I’m not the person you’ve always known because she would give up everything to be exactly what you want. But this woman is no longer willing to do that. I won’t beg you to love me.”

Erica stood stunned as Ashleigh brushed past her. Was she leaving? Erica walked on shaking legs and gripped the kitchen counter. Ashleigh wouldn’t leave. She’d come downstairs after she’d had time to think and round two would begin. They would work it out, but something felt different this time.

After about twenty minutes, Erica realized that she’d been standing in the same spot staring out the kitchen window when she heard Ashleigh coming down the stairs. She turned to see her standing in the middle of the kitchen with a suitcase in hand and a backpack slung over her shoulder.

“We obviously need some time apart to figure out if what we have is worth…” Ashleigh’s words trailed off as she looked down at the floor. “This is not working for either of us.” She moved toward the door slowly as if she was gathering the courage to walk out. “Call me if you want to. I’ll leave that up to you.”

The slamming of the door jolted Erica. Her mind refused to accept what had just transpired. Was the end of their relationship this simple?

“You look like hell.” Kaitlyn grinned as she walked into Erica’s office. “Serves you right for having us here on a Sunday.”

Erica stared at the computer screen as Kaitlyn took a seat in front of her desk. “She’s gone.”

“Gone?” Kaitlyn repeated.

“She left me this morning. She’s gone.”

“Gone where?” Kaitlyn rose to her feet.

“Obviously, not your place, or you wouldn’t be asking so many questions.” Erica winced and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m sorry, I’m bitchy.”

“What happened?” Kaitlyn perched on the corner of Erica’s desk.

Erica shook her head. “I don’t really know. I admitted that I was having problems with all the changes lately, and she…I guess she’s pissed that I’m not being supportive.”

“You two need to just sit down and—”

“And talk?” Erica slammed her hands on the desk. “Talk about what? We’ve been like strangers lately.” Erica’s voice broke. She leaned back in her chair and stared at the ceiling, fighting the tears that threatened. “I need some time alone,” she rasped out a minute later when her composure returned.

“All right then.” Kaitlyn sounded bewildered. “I’ll be in my office. Call me when you want to go over the status reports.”

“Not today. We’ll go over them tomorrow. Just finish your reports for the meeting tomorrow morning and take the day off.”

“Erica—”

“Please just leave me alone for a while.”

Erica listened as Kaitlyn shuffled out of her office and down the hall. She wished that she hadn’t asked her to work with her. She wanted to be alone in her office, her safe haven, but couldn’t stand the thought of going home, being in the house, alone.

“You can stay here as long as you need to.” Vicki stroked Ashleigh’s hair while she lay with her head in her lap. “You know we’re thrilled to have you.”

Ashleigh’s head swam. What had happened? After everything was said and done, Ashleigh still couldn’t believe that she’d walked out.

“I feel like I’ve contributed to this,” Vicki said guiltily. “I’ve been dominating a lot of your time and pushing you to be more involved with the band. I never even considered that Erica may’ve been feeling neglected.”

Ashleigh sat up with a groan. She’d cried all the way from St.
Francisville
, and her inflamed sinuses caused her head to ache. “I asked you to push me, remember?” Ashleigh sniffed and nearly started crying again at the pain it caused. “She had no reason to feel neglected. She could’ve come with me, but she was always working. That was her choice.”

“Maybe she didn’t have a choice, Ash. You said that she’d just taken over the business from her father. I imagine she’s got a lot on her shoulders.” Vicki averted her eyes when Ashleigh looked at her. “She’s had a lot of change to cope with.”

Ashleigh bit her lip as anger welled anew. The last thing she needed was for Vicki to point out what Erica was going through.
She
needed Vicki’s empathy. Needed someone to pat her on the back and help her justify walking out on a five-year relationship. “I need to take a shower,” Ashleigh said as she stood. “My head is killing me.”

“And a nap.” Vicki looked up at her. “There’s some sinus meds in the drawer to the left of the sink in your bathroom. Bathe and lay down for a while. Things are easier to cope with when you’re rested.”

Ashleigh nodded and headed toward the guest room. She turned at the hallway and looked back at Vicki. “Thank you for taking me in.”

“Always, sweetie,” Vicki said as she watched Ashleigh disappear. She walked into the kitchen, opened a soda, and took a long swallow when Alex appeared at the side door.

“Can you help me with this?” Alex bounded through the door and dropped her laptop onto the kitchen counter hard enough to break it in half. “I’ve been working on this damn thing all morning, and I can’t figure it out. None of the lines will add up. I hate Excel. I hate it!”

“Doesn’t your assistant normally handle this?” Vicki opened the notebook surprised to see it was still in one piece.

“Maternity leave.” Alex impatiently drummed her fingers on the counter. “She’ll be back next week, but I thought I could get this finished on my own, so she wouldn’t be so swamped when she came back in.”

“Did you walk over here?” Vicki noted that Alex had not mentioned seeing Ashleigh’s car in the driveway.

“Came through the hole in the fence as usual, why?”

“Take a seat.” Vicki nodded toward a barstool. “I’ll be finished with this in a sec, then I want to talk to you.”