Love's Someday (20 page)

Alex did as she was told and waited none too patiently, still drumming her fingers on the countertop.

“How much coffee have you had this morning?” Vicki asked as she pushed the computer aside.

“Lost count at six cups.”

“Alexandra McKinney, you know what the doctor told you about your caffeine intake.”

“I know what your doctor said about soda, and there sits one.” Alex pointed at the half-empty can Vicki was lifting to her lips.

“Touché, jackass.” Vicki poured the rest in the sink and turned back to Alex.

“So did you just want to lecture me about coffee or is there something else?” Alex squirmed in her seat.

“Ashleigh’s here.” Vicki watched Alex’s gaze dart to the den with interest. “She and Erica are going through a rough spot and she’s going to stay here for a while.”

Alex frowned and looked back at Vicki. “And this is where the lecture comes in. ‘Stay away from her. Keep your hands and lips off of her.’ Really, Vicki, I’ve heard it enough. After all this time, do you really think that’s necessary?”

Vicki leaned on the counter and took Alex’s hand. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. I know what’s going on in that head of yours, and I don’t want either of you to get hurt. She’s in love with Erica, it’s obvious, and you’re—”

“Not falling in love with Ashleigh.”

“You fell a long time ago, and I don’t think you’ve ever gotten over it.”

Alex averted her eyes and spoke softly. “If I had been in love, I wouldn’t have cheated on her.”

Vicki held Alex’s hand in her palm and stroked the back of it softly with her thumb. “I think I know you better than anyone else. Am I right?”

Alex nodded and looked away again.

“I learned so much about you after the accident when you stayed in the same room where Ashleigh is now.” Vicki noted the slight twitch of Alex’s fingers when she spoke Ashleigh’s name. “You’re not the heartless womanizer you pretend to be. Ashleigh got too close. It scared you, and you reverted to your bad habits to push her away. That’s why you cheated.”

“I was twenty-six and had the libido of a teenager.” Alex grinned. “That’s why I did it.”

“Liar,” Vicki said with a sad smile. “Don’t get attached to her, Alex, or she’ll be the one to break your heart this time.”

“I will consider your recommendation, counselor.” Alex withdrew her hand and picked up the laptop. “Did you make it work?”

Vicki nodded. “Everything adds up now. I could show you how to do it, it’s easy.”

“But then I’d have no reason to storm in unannounced on a Sunday morning.” Alex leaned over the counter and kissed Vicki on the cheek. “Love you.” She opened the door and turned on one heel. “Is she okay?”

“She will be. They just need some time to cool off.”

“I hope things work out for them.” Alex closed the door behind her.

“Liar,” Vicki said under her breath as she watched Alex walk across the backyard. She remembered back to the night when Alex full of pain medication admitted all of her regrets where Ashleigh was concerned. She’d never forgiven herself and doubted that she ever would. This situation would undoubtedly yield a broken heart. Vicki wondered which one it would be.

Two days passed and neither Erica nor Ashleigh bothered to call the other. Vicki noticed that Ashleigh kept her cell phone with her at all times and periodically glanced at it. It was becoming apparent that both women had stubbornly dug their heels in and were waiting for the other to break first. Vicki and Chantal had a private bet on which one would be the first to relent and make the call. They were still waiting.

Alex had not been around since the morning that she brought the laptop over, which was unlike her, Vicki mused while she prepared dinner for the group. Perhaps she’d taken the advice seriously and was keeping a distance.

“I come bearing rolls and dessert.” Jaclyn walked into the kitchen and placed a turtle cheesecake on the counter in front of Vicki, who groaned. “It’s turtle and I made it.”

“You did?” Vicki asked in surprise.

“She did.” Lindsay kissed Vicki on the cheek. “That’s the third one this week. She’s been on a kick.”

“Oh, you sexy bitch,” Jaclyn said as Ashleigh walked into the kitchen and pulled her in for a hug. “Your ass looked so good in those pants on stage the other night. I missed a chord when I looked at it. Did you notice?”

Ashleigh laughed and hugged Jaclyn tighter.

“When are we eating and what are we eating?” Lindsay opened the oven door and looked in. “Oh, it’s that chicken casserole thingy, my favorite.”

Vicki pushed the door closed as Lindsay stood there sniffing. “It’ll cook faster this way.”

“Well, hey, sexy,” Lindsay said as Alex entered the side door off the kitchen. “And who is your friend?” Lindsay walked over to the blonde behind Alex and extended her hand.

“Everyone, this is Lisa.” Alex avoided Ashleigh’s gaze.

Lisa was greeted warmly by all, including Ashleigh, who Vicki noticed appeared to be unaffected by the newcomer’s presence. Alex moved deeper into the room and embraced her
bandmates
, kissing each one on the cheek. When she hugged Ashleigh, she made it a point to embrace her quickly and back away.

“Lisa, what can I get you to drink?” Ashleigh asked. “I think Vic has just about everything imaginable.”

“Water would be great, please.”

Ashleigh smiled as she passed her a bottle. “Alex, what are you drinking?”

“I’d like one of those.” Alex pointed to the glass of red wine that Jaclyn was sipping.

“Got it.” Vicki poured a glass of cabernet.

“We’re having chicken. You should be drinking white,” Lindsay observed.

“You drink the white. I’ll stick to red.” Jaclyn smirked as Lindsay rolled her eyes.

Vicki looked in on her casserole and at the clock. “I think it’ll be ready by the time Drew and Kaitlyn get here.”

Vicki noticed that Ashleigh looked uncomfortable when she mentioned their names.

“Are you sure you’re okay with them coming?” Vicki asked as the rest of the group meandered into the den.

Ashleigh took a sip of her water and cleared her throat. “I’m looking forward to seeing them. It’s just going to be a little weird seeing them without Erica.”

As if on cue, they heard Chantal welcoming the couple through the door. Ashleigh had barely turned when Drew wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her close. “Hey, love,” she whispered against Ashleigh’s ear. “You okay?”

Ashleigh nodded. “I was just telling Vicki that I missed you.”

“We’ve missed you too.” Kaitlyn pulled Ashleigh in for a quick hug.

The kitchen was alive with several conversations as Ashleigh took advantage of the moment and led Drew outside. She found herself asking about Erica before the door was closed.

“She looks a lot like you do,” Drew said. “Lost, hurt, and generally miserable.”

“I’m glad she has you and Kaitlyn, she needs your support right now.”

“Is that why you didn’t come to our house instead?”

“Yes and no. I knew that she would need you both, but I couldn’t leave and stay close. I don’t think I could handle seeing her leave for work each day.”

“And what about your job?”

“I took vacation.” Ashleigh walked toward the pool. “I had a few days left, but I have to go back tomorrow.”

“It’s a long commute,” Drew said as she came close to Ashleigh.

“It’ll give me time to think.”

“Will you come for lunch like you always have?”

“Yes…maybe.”

“Are you afraid of running into Erica?”

“Yep, but you know that won’t happen. She never comes home for lunch…unless that’s changed.” Ashleigh looked to Drew for confirmation.

“No, her habits haven’t changed. She works all day and comes home late at night.”

“What has she told Kaitlyn?” Ashleigh finally asked as she bent and ran her fingers through the water of the pool.

“Do you really want to know?” Drew didn’t wait for an answer. “She says she thinks you’re looking for an excuse to end a relationship that you’ve grown tired of.”

Ashleigh stood straight up so fast that it made her head swim. “She actually said that?”

“She deals with her pain by getting angry, but when that burns away, she’ll come to her senses.” Drew put an arm around Ashleigh’s waist.

“What a shitty thing to say. If there’s one thing that I’m really good at, it’s walking away. If I would have wanted to end the relationship, I would have already left.”

“And you wouldn’t be hurting as you are now,” Drew said with a squeeze.

“I do hurt, Drew.” Ashleigh laid her head on Drew’s shoulder. “I miss her so much. I feel so…incomplete. But at the same time, I’m so angry with her. Was she willing to love me as long as I did everything her way? Is it too much to allow me an outside interest?”

“It’s not just an outside interest. She’s threatened by something new and by the sexy creature sitting on the sofa behind us watching your every move through the window.”

Ashleigh casually glanced toward the den and saw Alex look away.

“The more you get involved with the band, the closer you’ll grow with her.”

“We’re just friends now like we were before we took things where we shouldn’t have. Alex is no threat to Erica.”

“You say that, Ash, but I’ve seen the way Alex looks at you. Kaitlyn’s noticed it too, and you can be damn sure that Erica has.”

“It doesn’t matter how Alex looks at me. What matters is how I see her. I’ve told Erica time and time again that I’m not interested in Alex.”

“You say that, but there’s something in your eyes too. When you look at Alex, it’s not the same way you look at the other women. There’s something there. When you look at her, are you remembering how it was when things were good?”

Ashleigh turned from Drew and looked down at the sparkling water of the pool and closed her eyes against the light. She did remember. She remembered the way Alex touched her and how if felt. When Alex gave in to her advances, it was like taming a wild beast that no one else could control. At one time, Alex gave herself completely, and Ashleigh knew that no one else had ever gotten as far as she did.

“Yes, I do have memories of her, and sometimes I find myself dwelling on them. Seeing her again brings it all back. Wouldn’t you be the same?”

Drew laughed softly. “All my exes are friends like some incestuous family that I can’t move away from. They’ve always just been there, and no, I’ve not looked at any of them and remembered the past. But maybe if I had been separated from them for years,” Drew shrugged, “maybe then I would think back on old times.”

“Would that mean you’d want to rekindle what you had?”

“You have a point, Ash, and I want to accept it without question, but there’s sexual tension between you two. It’s palpable.”

“I’ve never been unfaithful to Erica. I’ve never wanted to, and I don’t feel any different now. Even with everything between us like it is, I have no desire to run to the arms of another. Alex McKinney included.”

“Okay, I just needed to make sure.”

“Vicki is waving us inside.” Ashleigh draped an arm around Drew’s shoulders and led them back toward the door.

“You know that Kaitlyn and I will be there for Erica, but I’m here for you, too, don’t forget that.”

“I know.” Ashleigh squeezed Drew’s shoulders. “I’ll always be there for you too.”

Drew put her hand on Ashleigh’s as she reached for the door handle. “Promise that?”

“Of course I do.”

“If things get too much to bear…don’t run away again. Run to me, promise.” Drew looked into Ashleigh’s eyes.

“Promise.”

It was good to see Drew and Kaitlyn again, but their presence minus Erica put a damper on Ashleigh’s evening. The banter around the dinner table was lively and provided a momentary distraction from the hollowness she felt inside. She wondered if Erica felt betrayed by Kaitlyn and Drew visiting her.

And then there was Alex. Every time she glanced in her direction, Ashleigh caught Alex’s eye. On the heels of her discussion with Drew, it made her uncomfortable. But then again, Alex had brought a date. Wasn’t that just as good as saying she wasn’t interested? She hoped it was because she couldn’t handle another emotional issue in her life at the moment, maybe not ever.

The next morning, Ashleigh found her stomach in knots as she drove closer to St.
Francisville
, the town where Erica grew up, and she could feel her presence all around her as she edged into the city limits. She knew the route Erica and Kaitlyn took to work, but still she looked for the silver SUV at every turn with mixed emotions.

She found it impossible to focus on her work for the first hour, but eventually immersed herself and temporarily forgot that Erica was only a few miles away. When the lunch hour arrived, she took the familiar walk, leaving her car at the office. The cool air cleared her head, but her palms were sweating where they were balled up in her pockets. Drew was standing on her porch with her arms across her chest and moved quickly toward her when she rounded the corner.