Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (34 page)

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Authors: Martha Long

Tags: #ma, he sold me for a few cigarettes, #Dublin, #seven stories press, #1950s, #poverty, #homelessness, #abuse, #rape, #labor, #ireland, #martha long, #memoir, #autobiography, #biography, #series, #history, #poor, #slums

BOOK: Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes
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‘I enjoyed tha,' me ma said, laughin. ‘Tha's wha them nuns eat all the time. No wonder they have big red necks!'

Then she took out the Oxo box wit all her papers in it, an she dipped her hand te the bottom an counted out one shillin an sixpence, an put it on the mantelpiece. ‘Tha's the rent money,' she said. ‘Leave it there, an I'll go over an pay it. We don't want te get put out again. After this place, there's nowhere te go, an we'll end up on the streets.'

‘No, Ma! We can't let tha happen. Do ye know what'd be lovely, Ma?'

‘Wha?' she said.

‘If we could get our hands on a radio!'

‘Yeah!' she said. ‘But ye'd need money. Ye'd pay about thirty bob, or two quid, in the pawn fer one.'

‘Ah, still, ye never know, we might get the money somehow! An then we could start te make a real home fer ourselves. We could get a little bit at a time. I'm goin te start te keep a lookout,' I said.

The babby started te fall asleep on the floor, an me ma picked him up an put him in the bed an covered him up. I climbed onta the bed an sat up on the other end wit me back te the headboard an took up me comics te read. Me ma stoked the fire wit the poker an put on a bit of coal. The room had gone a bit dark, an I looked at the winda, an it was startin te pour wit rain. I was glad I was lovely an cosy sittin on the bed wit me comics, an the room was lovely an warm. Teddy an Charlie had the chairs on their sides, an they were playin cowboys an injuns, an they were shootin each other wit their fingers. Me ma was washin up in the scullery. There was a knock at the door, an I jumped up an opened it. Jimmy handed me back the plate. It was shinin clean. Me ma poked her head outa the scullery. ‘Are ye all right, son?' she said te Jimmy.

‘Yes, Mam! Me ma said te tell ye tha was the nicest bit a grub we've had in a lifetime, an she says thanks very much. She hopes ye didn't leave yerself short, so she does.'

‘Not at all!' me ma said. ‘We enjoyed it, too. Tell her I'll see her later, when I get the childre down fer the night.'

‘OK, Mrs! I'll tell her. See ya!' he said te me, an I shut the door an picked up me comic again.

‘Ye're dead,' Charlie roared, pushin Teddy down. ‘I'm still alive, so I won.'

‘Bold!' Teddy roared back, an spit at Charlie, but it only dribbled down his chin.

‘I'm not playin no more wit you,' Charlie screamed. ‘An gimme the chair, I sawed it first!'

‘Ah!' screamed Teddy, an tried te bite Charlie's head, but he ended up wit dirty mouthfuls of hair an let go, makin an awful face.

‘Right! Tha's it!' me ma said. ‘Come on, ye's are either playin together in peace an quiet or ye's can go te bed.'

I took no notice. I was now a champion ice skater wit ‘Zelda', the girl who never gets any older, even though she's hundreds of years old an lives her life in an ice cave. I got carried away an was feelin the cold livin in a cave. I looked up te see the fire blazin. Ah! This is the life, I thought, shakin meself wit comfort.

‘I won't be long,' me ma said as she went out the door. ‘I'm only callin te Mrs Dunne fer a while.' Teddy an Charlie jumped up an tried te follow. ‘No!' she said, pushin them back inta the room. ‘You stay here. I want a bit a peace without youse,' an she shut the door. They jumped up an down screamin.

‘Come on,' I said. ‘Let's play school,' an I put me comics under the mattress, te keep them from harm. ‘Now sit on yer chairs an say after me, one an one is two!' I held up me two fingers. ‘How many is tha, Charlie?'

‘Eh! I don't know.'

‘It's two, ye gobshite! Ye have te know how te count when ye start school, or the teacher will kill ye.'

‘I'm not playin,' Charlie roared.

‘All right, then, watch this,' I said. ‘If I give ye a sweet in this hand, an I give ye one in the other hand, how many sweets will ye have?'

‘Two!' Charlie laughed.

‘Right,' I said. ‘Now! How many is this?' An I held up me two fingers again.

‘I don't know,' Charlie said.

‘Ah! You're pure stupid,' I roared, losin me rag.

Then there was a knock on the door, an Jimmy poked his head in. ‘Me ma said te give ye these. They're broken biscuits,' an he held up a rolled newspaper, shaped like a cornet, an held it out.

While I was still lookin, Charlie grabbed the biscuits, an Teddy an himself was fightin te get at them. The paper tore, an the biscuits flew everywhere. Charlie was down on his knees, grabbin all he could an stuffin them in his mouth. I fell te the floor, tryin te pick them up, an Charlie had a handful, an Teddy was screamin, cos he got nothin. ‘Ye hungry bastard!' I screamed at Charlie, lungin fer his mouth te stop him eatin the lot. An he clamped his teeth down on me hand tha was caught in his mouth. The babby woke up red-faced an was cryin.

‘Ah, there's no peace fer the wicked!' me ma laughed, rushin in.

‘Ah, no! Don't be takin his bit a comfort!' Mrs Dunne said te me. ‘Let him be an enjoy his few biscuits.'

‘But we got none, an he bit the hand offa me!' I cried.

‘Serves ye right fer shovin yer hand inta his mouth. I saw ye!' Mrs Dunne said, laughin. Charlie gave a bit a biscuit te Teddy, te keep him from screamin, an ran inta the scullery te hide an guzzle wha was left. I could hear him laughin an talkin te himself. I was ragin, but I couldn't run at him, cos I'd only make an eejit of meself wit Mrs Dunne watchin. Ye're not supposed te be givin yer senses te somebody who's a lot younger than ye.

Me ma put the water on te boil fer the tea, an then she fried bread fer us. It was heaven. The brown jelly from the drippin was still on the fried bread, an it tasted like the roast beef we had today. This is the best day we've ever had. It was like a feast. An I put Teddy te bed, an me ma sat on the chair by the fire, feedin a bottle a tea te Harry, an he dozed in comfort on her lap. Charlie climbed inta the inside of the bed, beside the wall, an I put Teddy in beside him.

‘Ask Mrs does she want te come over fer a sup a tea!' me ma said te me, an she lifted Harry over te the bed. He had dozed off now, an the bottle was stickin outa his mouth. An me ma took it out an put it on the table, puttin him gently down at the top of the bed an coverin him up.

I knocked on Mrs Dunne's door, an she said, ‘Right, childre, I'm on me way. I'll just see te the fire, an I'll be over.'

Me ma was puttin two cakes out on the big plate fer Mrs Dunne's tea, an I climbed inta bed, pullin out me comics from under the mattress. I was readin an listenin te the murmur of voices, of me ma an Mrs Dunne talkin quietly te each other, sittin on their chairs in front of the fire. An I put me comics away under me pilla an closed me eyes tha were very heavy now, an snuggled under the blankets an coats, feelin warm an snug, an enjoyin the peace an comfort.

24

I looked at the thrupenny bit in me hand, feelin the weight of it. I saved it up, doin all the messages fer the neighbours. I wanted te buy pipe cleaners te put in me hair te curl it. I couldn't wear me lovely new frock until I had me hair done in big massive curls like Shirley Temple. We got a load a lovely good clothes when we knocked on a door on Phillipsburg Avenue on the way back from collectin the bread at the convents. The woman was a lovely person altogether. She looked at us fer a minute, thinkin, an said, ‘Do you know? I've just done a clear out, and I might have clothes that will fit you. Wait there!' an she went in, leavin the door open a little, an me ma an me looked at each other an laughed wit excitement.

She came out wit a big bundle of clothes. Trousers an jumpers, coats an hats, shoes, vests an knickers. ‘They'd fit me brothers grand!' I was sayin, lookin at them. The woman was smilin an helpin me ma te put them in the pram. An me ma was very happy an sayin, ‘God bless ye, Lady. Ye're a very kind person.'

The woman looked at me an said, ‘I have a daughter about your age, and I have some clothes that will fit you. She's grown out of them now.' An she came back wit a load of clothes fer me. I got navy-blue knickers, socks an brown leather sandals, an I dropped down te the ground an whipped them on me, an they were a grand fit. The frock was dark-blue heavy cotton, wit an underskirt attached te make it stand out, an I'd be able te twirl in it. It had a lovely lace collar, an I stroked it, not believin me eyes. It was so lovely! She gave me a wool gaberdine coat wit a belt, an a black beret hat. The wool was so soft, I couldn't wait te wear them. I'm goin te be mistaken fer a spy when I wear the hat an coat. Cos tha's what all the spies wear in the fillums.

Then she came out wit a load of
Bunty
an
Judy
comics fer me. Me heart was flyin wit excitement. Me ma got a lovely green coat wit a big collar, an a load of summer frocks an winter wool pleated skirts an jumpers. Teddy had te squeeze up beside Harry, but they were happy, cos Harry was busy swingin the white rattler she gave him. An Teddy was holdin onta a big bunny rabbit, wit big ears. He kept rubbin it against his cheek. An Charlie was carryin a bucket an spade an a big red ball. ‘Ma! Will ya bring us out te the seaside? I want te build a big sandcastle wit me bucket an spade. Will ya, Ma? Will ya?' Charlie kept askin me ma.

‘Yeah, we will,' me ma said. ‘We'll do tha when the summer comes. We'll go out te Sandymount, an we'll bring sambidges an bottles a tea. Yeah!' me ma said, thinkin te herself. ‘We must do tha!'

We were happy an contented an didn't say much, cos we were savin our breath te get home in the dark, an concentrated our strength te push the heavy pram wit the mountain of lovely stuff.

I couldn't wait te hit home an fall inta me bed. It'd been a long day traipsin aroun from house te house. An it was pitch dark, an we were exhausted. I looked at the babbies, their heads wrapped aroun each other, out cold. An I wished I could climb in there an get a lift home. But I was very contented, thinkin of all me lovely stuff, an how easy our life was now wit no one te bother us.

I walked up Talbot Street, an went inta a shop. ‘Have ye any pipe cleaners?' I asked the aul fella behind the counter.

‘Yeah! How many do ye want?'

‘One packet! How much are they, Mister?'

‘Tuppence!'

‘How much?' I roared.

‘Are ye deaf?' he said. ‘Tuppence, I said.'

‘Tha's very dear, Mister. Have ye any cheaper?'

‘No!'

‘Gawd! Tha's robbery!' I said, an he threw them back inta the box an walked off ignorin me. ‘All right, then! I'll take them.'

He threw the pipe cleaners onta the high counter, an I jumped up an took them, an put down the thrupenny bit. He threw the money inta the cardboard box he keeps fer his money an walked away. I waited. ‘Here, Mister! I want me penny change. I can count, ye know! I gave ye a thrupenny bit,' I roared.

‘Did ye?' he said, an walked back te his box, dippin his hand in an throwin the penny at me onta the counter. I jumped up an stretched across, an grabbed me penny.

‘I'm not comin back here again!' I roared at him on me way out the door. ‘Ye're a daylight robber. An I hope ye have no luck fer tha!'

‘Go on! Get out before I take me hand te ye,' he growled at me.

I flew home, wantin te wash me hair an get the pipe cleaners in, then I could wear me new frock an sandals, an me lovely white socks an knickers. I wouldn't know meself. I'm dyin te look like Shirley Temple. The only thing is, she has lovely fat brown legs, an mine look like matchsticks. But I'll be lovely anyway.

When I got in the door, me ma had her good green coat on. ‘Come on,' she said. ‘I was waitin te go out!'

‘Where are ye goin, Ma?'

‘Never you mind! Watch them childre an mind the house. I'll be back,' an she was gone, flyin out the door. I boiled the water an poured it inta the basin an put it on the chair, then I poured in cold water an got the bit of red Sunlight soap we had left, an dipped me head inta the basin. I rubbed in the soap an scrubbed me head, gettin it all soapy. I kept dippin me head inta the basin, but I couldn't get the soap off. So I put me head under the tap an froze the head offa meself, but I held it there, cos it'd be worth it te get me hair lookin lovely. Then I grabbed the cloth we use fer dryin ourselves an everythin else. An I looked at it, drippin water everywhere an drownin meself. It was thick wit grease an dirt! Jaysus, I can't use tha! What'll I do? I grabbed an old woolly jumper belongin te the babby, an it wasn't much better. So I took off me frock, standin in me skin, an dried me head wit tha. Then I put it on the back of the other chair te dry it at the fire, an put the basin on the floor an sat on the chair an put me feet in the basin. I couldn't get the dirt off, it was caked inta me feet, an I had cuts an dried sores from walkin on the stones. I rubbed an rubbed, but they didn't look much better, an now they were bleedin from the rubbin an openin the sores. ‘Ah, fuck it!' I shouted te meself, an washed me legs. They didn't look the way I thought they would, an I grabbed the cloth an dried me feet an legs, smellin now from the dirty cloth. I picked up me frock, an it was still wet. Ah, well! It'll do. Then I emptied the water down the sink an used the babby's jumper te mop up the wet on the floorboards.

Then I had a go at puttin in me pipe cleaners. I'd seen the way me ma used te put them in her hair when I was small. I straightened them out an wrapped bits a hair aroun them, an then wrapped the two ends together close te me scalp. When I was finished, I looked in the mirror. Grand! Me face is clean, an now I'm goin te look lovely when I take them out. I couldn't wait!

Me ma came back, an she was lookin very happy.

‘Where were ye, Ma?'

‘I went te see him in Mountjoy. They're lettin him out on Monday!'

‘But why, Ma? Wha's happenin? He's not in long enough!'

‘They're lettin him out early fer good behaviour, so he doesn't have te do the full six months,' me ma said.

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