Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (30 page)

Jackser roared, ‘She won't leave me alone! Day an night I have te listen te her complainin! Mornin, noon an night. It never stops. Well, I'm puttin an end te it here an now. I'm goin te get rid of the lot of them. I'd be better off locked up.'

‘Ah! Don't be sayin tha. It will be all right.'

‘No!' Jackser roared. ‘I'll fuckin finish them off.'

‘Take it easy! Take it easy,' I heard the old man say.

I crept over te the door an put me head in the room, spillin pools of blood after me. I saw straight away Teddy was hurt. Blood was pourin outa him. His neck an hands an face was covered wit blood, an he was screamin. He was pressed inta the corner of the bed, his back against the wall. Harry was leanin himself against the wall, too, the side of his face pressed against the wall. An he was watchin te see if someone was goin te hurt him. An he was sobbin his heart out, his chest heavin up an down, an his eyes was like huge saucers. Me ma was on the floor, holdin herself up by the side of the bed, an she was in terrible pain. She couldn't get up.

‘No more! Oh, stop him! Oh, Jesus help us! Tha's enough! Don't do any more,' she was implorin.

‘Shut up!' Jackser screamed at her, lungin wit his fists, bendin his head inta her face.

I screamed, an the childre were hysterical, an the young girl from next door ran in. Her mother must have told her not te come out. But she ran in, probably worried about her mammy. She took one look an grabbed me. ‘Come on! Get out.'

‘No! No!' I screamed, an Jackser ran inta the scullery an grabbed the knife. The young one lunged fer Teddy an dragged him off the bed an ran wit him. I got te me senses an grabbed Harry. An I was screamin, ‘Help! Murder! He's goin te kill me ma. Charlie! Get outa there! Get outa there!' an I was runnin te get outa the room.

I saw Jackser jump on me ma wit the knife. He had his knee on her stomach. The woman came tearin back inta the hall an rushed past me, screamin at her daughter te lock the door. ‘Lock the door!' she was screamin. The old man was shoutin, ‘No! No! Let her alone!' I ran inta the room behind the daughter, carryin the babby covered in my blood. An the woman screamed, ‘Jesus, Jesus! Stop! Stop! It's a slaughter house.'

Charlie came runnin in behind me, shoutin, ‘Save me! Save me!' The girl was cryin an slammed the door, an opened her winda an climbed out, cos it's low on the ground, an she went runnin. ‘Help! Help! He's goin te kill me ma!' she was screamin at the top of her lungs.

I heard runnin feet an people shoutin, ‘It's in here!' An they came tearin in through the hall. I heard a man shout, ‘Get the fuck off!' an Jackser roarin. More people came, an the girl opened the door. Two women came in wit her, an their eyes were shocked. They had coats thrown over their shoulders, an they said, ‘Oh, God forgive him fer his badness.' They grabbed a towel from the scullery an started wipin the blood from Teddy's neck an face. An the other woman grabbed a cloth an was holdin the cloth te me face te stop the blood. We couldn't stop cryin. The girl put on the kettle, an the woman pulled the frock over me head. It was soppin wit blood, an I stood in me skin, shiverin an covered in blood, but I didn't care.

‘Mammy! Mammy! I want me mammy,' an we were all cryin fer me mammy.

‘Shush, shush! She's all right. No harm will come te her, we'll see te tha.' An they washed me down. ‘This poor little fella's neck has a very bad gash.' The woman held the towel on the back of his neck, an the girl looked te see where Harry was bleedin from. But he wasn't cut, it was only my blood. When the bleedin was stopped an I was cleaned up, the woman put a frock an cardigan on me belongin te the girl. Me face was in a bad way. Me eye an cheek was swollen, an me nose was swollen, too.

The screamin from next door died down, an I could hear voices an glass bein swept up. The woman came in. ‘Are ye's all right? Oh, Jesus! I never want te see the like of tha again, Mrs. I'm not the better of it!' she said te the two women.

‘Ah, the man's an animal. He should be locked up fer life, no one's safe aroun him. Look wha he's done te the poor childre, he's destroyed them fer life. They'll never be the same!'

‘Is me ma all right?' I asked the neighbour.

‘Ah, she'll be grand. But she'll have te go te hospital fer a little while. But there's nothin fer ye te worry yerself about.' Then she whispered somethin te the two women. Me heart stopped. She must be goin te die. Wha's goin te happen te us? Charlie started cryin again. I looked at him, an his face was the colour of marble.

‘Here, chicken! Drink this, it will do ye good. An eat the egg an the bit a bread an butter. It's not much, but it will bring yer strength back. Where's the babby's bottle? I want te give him a hot sup of tea.' An I looked over at Harry, sittin on one of the women's laps at the fire. He was very pale but was content te sit an let the woman rock him. Teddy was bein fed an egg by the girl an was eatin it an holdin a bit of bread in his hand. An Charlie was sittin on the floor in front of the fire, eatin bread an spoonin egg inta his mouth. I gave a big sob an started te drink me tea an eat me egg. People were tired an talkin in whispers. The room was warm an peaceful, an I couldn't hear any more noise from our room, just the sound of people busy comin an goin, fixin somethin te block the winda. An there was no more shoutin.

The old man came in an smiled at us an shook his head te the women, puttin his eyes te heaven. An he looked very white an tired. ‘Are ye's all right now?' he said in a very quiet voice, lookin at us. ‘Ah, it's all over now. Ye's will be all right, thank God.' Then he went inta the scullery an was whisperin te the women. They made him sit down an have a drop of hot tea. An one of the women went off te her own place an said she wouldn't be long. Then an ambulance arrived an stopped outside the door. I jumped up, wantin te see wha was happenin.

‘No, no! You sit there, chicken, don't move. They're only goin te take yer mammy inta hospital fer a little while. She'll be all right.'

I sat down, afraid te upset anyone, but I wanted te see me mammy, te see if she was all right. An wha was happenin te Jackser? Are they goin te take him away an lock him up? Oh, please God, get him locked up. But I was afraid te say anythin. So I didn't move an just sat quiet, an tried te stop me heart from racin. I was so afraid of everythin, not knowin wha was goin te happen te us. I was afraid te die, an I was afraid te live.

I looked at me brothers. Harry was lyin on the woman's chest, holdin on te her, his hand restin on her chest. An she was holdin the bottle of tea in his mouth an croonin te him very softly. He was lookin up at her, lettin the bottle rest in his mouth. Then he gave a big sigh an went back te suckin his bottle an nestled his head inta her chest, gettin a tighter grip of her wit his other hand. The woman smiled over at me an said, ‘He's a lovely child, God bless him.' An then she said, ‘I think I'll take him up wit me fer the night. He can sleep in wit me. He seems te have settled now.'

Teddy was dozin on the bed, an the girl was lyin beside him wit his head on her stomach, an she was gently strokin his hair. The blood had clotted on the back of his neck, an the bleedin was stopped. The girl lifted the cloth an whispered, ‘Mammy, the gash is very deep. It probably needs stitches.'

‘Leave the poor mite where he is. Put him under the covers. An you, chicken,' she said te me, ‘get in beside him, ye're all done in. Wha ye need now, the lot of ye, is a good night's sleep.'

The other woman came back from her place an brought a loaf of bread an cheese an corn beef. ‘Ah, ye shouldn't have!' ‘Not at all!' the women said te each other, ‘There's plenty more where tha came from!' I climbed inta bed beside Teddy, an Charlie got in beside the wall, wit Teddy in the middle between the two of us.

‘I'll take your little fella up wit me fer the night, an he can sleep wit my childre,' the woman who just came in wit the food said.

‘Tha's very good of ye. Tha way then, I'll sleep next te Ellie, me daughter, an Maggie here is takin the babby up wit her.'

‘Ah, tha's grand. We're all sorted out now. An I'll make us all a nice sup of tea. Jaysus, we could do wit it after the night we've had!' An they all laughed wit relief.

‘How are things now?' an she lifted her head te our room. The man an the women whispered te each other, an I turned away, puttin me arm aroun Teddy. An he moved inta me, holdin onta me. The pain was easin in me, an the quiet whispers an the heat from the fire was soothin me. The light was off in the room, gettin light only from the scullery an the blazin fire. I started te doze, an then I felt meself sinkin inta a deep sleep.

A noise woke me up, an me eyes shot open. I tried te lift me head, but it was too heavy. An the pain shot aroun me head, an I was in pain everywhere. The woman from upstairs, Maggie, came in wit Harry an she looked down at me. Me eyes were too swollen, an I could see only through slits. ‘Oh! God Almighty, ye're in an awful state, ye poor cratur!'

‘Lie there, don't move yerself,' me neighbour said. ‘Have ye a pram fer the babby?' she asked me quietly.

‘No, it's gone,' I said. Not sayin Jackser had sold it fer ten bob down in Capel Street an drank the money.

‘Never mind, I'll manage,' she said.

It was mornin, an the fire was lightin. Teddy moved beside me, an Charlie sat up an rubbed his eyes. ‘I'll go off an see if I can get somethin te put the babby in. I don't mind takin him fer a few days,' Maggie said.

‘Yeah, an I can keep the childre here fer a while. We'll see wha happens. Ellie, give Charlie a sup of tea an help him te put his clothes on.'

‘OK, Ma.'

‘Good girl!'

Charlie scrambled outa the bed, an I turned over, hurtin everywhere, an started te doze again.

I woke up again, an it was evenin. The neighbour was bendin over me wit a cup of tea. ‘Come on, love, try an sit up an drink this, ye need it.' I closed me eyes, it hurt too much te keep them open. Even the movement hurt me head. ‘Come on, I'll help ye.' An she put her hand under me back an lifted me. Everythin started te swim, an me head was like a ton weight. The pain was terrible. She held the cup te me mouth, an I took two sips an started te gag.

‘No, no,' I said. ‘I can't!'

‘All right, then. Tha will do. We'll put ye lyin down again, an ye can get some rest, ye're too sick fer anythin.' I lay back down in the bed, an me head was on fire. I eased back inta sleep.

When I woke again, it was mornin. The watery sun was shinin inta the room. I slowly lifted me head an looked aroun the room, wonderin where I was fer a minute. Charlie an Teddy was sittin on the floor wit Ellie, an she was playin wit Teddy's toes an then ticklin Charlie, makin them roar laughin. ‘More, more!' Charlie was shoutin, an Teddy was squealin wit excitement.

An then it all came back te me. Me head an back felt like someone had bashed me wit a concrete block, an me face was very sore. But the pain was eased an awful lot, an I felt OK when I lay down an kept still. I was content te lie there very quietly an take in the room. It was heaven on earth. The fire was banked up an glowin red, an there was a red an blue china dog sittin on the mantelpiece, an a lovely big clock tha chimed every fifteen minutes an bonged every hour. I liked the sound of it tick tockin. An over tha, on the wall, was a big picture of two soldiers in uniforms holdin guns. An they had bags on their backs. The picture looked very old. There was a small armchair wit cushions beside the fire, an a round table wit a heavy cloth an tassles hangin from the bottom, coverin it. An a lovely lace cloth lay on top of tha. An it was sittin under the winda, which had lovely white net curtains an heavy red ones, wit big yella flowers, tha ye close at night te keep out the dark, an the wind, an anyone tha wants te look in. An there was oil cloth on the floor, an ye could see yer face in it from the shine.

I could hear the mammy bangin pots an singin te herself in the scullery. There was a lovely smell of somethin cookin, an I wondered if I could stay here fer the rest of me life. I'd never complain again.

‘Ah, ye're awake,' Mrs said te me, bendin down an smilin at me. I was a bit worried she might tell me te get up an go inta me own room an mind me brothers.

‘Yeah,' I croaked shyly, wonderin wha's goin te happen now. I lifted me head te sit up, an it hurt like mad. But I didn't want her te think she had te put up wit us. I don't like te make a fool of meself, an maybe she hasn't enough food te stretch fer everyone, cos she's on her own.

‘How're ye feelin?'

‘Eh! Not too bad.'

She looked at me. ‘Ah, yer poor face is very swollen, an ye must be very sore. Are ye?'

‘Yeah,' I said.

‘Right! Let's get ye sittin up an more comfortable, then we'll see about gettin ye a nice cup a tea. Wouldn't ye like tha?'

‘Yeah,' I said, lettin out a big sigh.

She lifted me up an fixed a long sausage pilla behind me, an another one on top of tha, an I sank meself back, restin against the headboard. Then she went off te the scullery, an I heard her rattlin the cups. Oh, if only this would last for ever an me ma could be like her!

‘Now, mind ye don't burn yerself wit tha tea. It's very hot.'

I tasted the tea, an the steam was hurtin me face, but it was lovely. Loads a milk, an it was very sweet. I supped away, an Mrs waited an then took the cup from me. ‘Ye's won't have te wait long fer yer dinner. It's nearly done.'

‘Oh, great, Ma! I'm starvin,' Ellie said, an she looked over at me. ‘We're havin coddle. Do ye like coddle?'

‘Yeah!' I said, not knowin wha coddle was. But it smelled lovely.

‘Yeah, we're very lucky,' the mammy said. ‘The St Vincent de Paul called last night. An when they saw me plight, wit the extra mouths te feed, they gave me an extra voucher fer ten bob an the bit of extra turf fer the fire. So now I'm well away! Ellie, run out an find Jimmy. Bring him in fer his dinner. He better not be gone far! I told him not te stray, I was doin a bit of dinner.'