Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (51 page)

When I reached the top, I crept along the balcony an waited, tryin te ease me poundin heart an quieten me breathin. I had te listen in case he crept up on me. Then I heard the bangin on the door an rattlin like mad on the letter box. Jackser wouldn't open the door. When someone bangs like tha on the door, Jackser knows it's trouble an won't open.

‘Open up! I know you're in there. I saw you!' The inspector was bendin down an shoutin in the letter box. ‘I'm warning you! This is your last warning. If you don't get that child to school, you will be brought to court, and she'll be taken away and put into an industrial school!'

I watched him, peepin over the balcony, an then he stood up an was writin down somethin in a book. What am I goin te do? I need te get the blade fer Jackser. He'll go mad I'm takin so long, especially after tha aul fella callin. I lashed down the stairs an stopped, peepin aroun te see if he was lookin. He was busy fixin his bicycle clips. I shot off an flew fer all I was worth, lookin back when I hit the corner. No sign of him. Good! I'll make it inta the shops before he comes down, then I'll have te hide an watch until he passes. There he goes! He turned right at the church, an I waited till I was sure he was gone. Then I took off, runnin as fast as I could te get back wit the blade.

Me ma went off wit Jackser, an I was mindin the childre. ‘Here! Get them ready an get outside an let them get an airin!' Jackser said. I was delighted. I could get te watch all the childre playin. It was better than bein stuck in the house.

I put the babby in his pram, an he was squealin wit excitement. He knew he was goin out. Teddy was shoutin, tryin te get his shoe on the wrong foot an worried I might leave without him. ‘Where's yer other shoe?' I asked him. He was lookin aroun, an I said, ‘Charlie, get under the bed an see if it's there.' I got Teddy ready an told Charlie te put his shoes on the right feet or the childre will be laughin at him. We were out the door, an I banged it shut behind me.

It was still too early fer the childre te be home from school, so I headed outa the flats, wit Teddy hangin on te the handlebars. He was seventeen months now an was walkin. Charlie was hangin onta the other side. I could hear the childre playin an shoutin in the school yard. They were on their dinner break. We headed towards the bridge an stopped at the canal. But there was nobody there. Sometimes ye see the childre playin here when they're mitchin from school. The young fellas build a raft an try te paddle it along the bank. Tha's very dangerous! Cos a few of them have been drownded, but it doesn't stop them fer long, an then they're at it again, hidin their schoolbags in the bushes an fightin over who's goin te be Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier!

I sat meself down, an Charlie started te look fer somethin te throw in the water. Teddy sat down on his hunkers beside me an was pokin at a long worm wrigglin in the grass. I was rockin Harry in the pram, who was sittin up contentedly suckin on his soother an watchin Teddy pokin the worm an squealin wit fright an then delight, when I heard a shufflin noise behind me in the bushes. I looked aroun an saw two young fellas crawlin in the grass. An then they jumped up an threw a stone at us. Then they laughed an ran inta the bushes. I stood up an shouted, ‘Come out, ye cowards! I saw ye!' But they didn't move.

‘Come over here, Charlie. Stay beside me where I can keep an eye on ye.' An I sat down again, watchin out fer them young fellas. Then one of them stood up, an I saw they were the Kelly brothers from me flats. They were big young fellas, tha one was eleven an his brother was ten.

‘Keep away from me or ye'll be sorry!' I shouted. Then he threw another stone, missin Teddy's head by an inch. I stood up te grab Teddy an get goin as fast as I could. But another stone hit the babby on the forehead, an he screamed. I grabbed his head te rub it an looked te see if he was all right. A big lump was comin out, an the young fellas started laughin.

‘Ye bastards!' I screamed, an tore at them, catchin the big fella by surprise. I lunged at his hair just as he turned te run, an knocked him off balance. He fell forward, an I pressed me knees inta his back, grabbin his hair an shakin his head, pressin his face inta the ground. ‘Ah, ye bastard!' I screamed. ‘I'm goin te fuckin kill ye!'

The other young fella came back, shoutin, ‘Get up, Lasher! Don't let her mill ye. She's only a young one. They can't fight.' He kept comin closer, dancin aroun me wit his fists closed, tryin te get an openin.

‘Help me, Wacker! The cow is killin me!' Lasher screamed.

‘Come near me an I'll tear ye apart,' I screamed at Wacker. The childre were screamin in fright behind me.

‘Let me up an I'll give ye a penny.'

‘No!' I shouted. ‘Ye hurt me babby brother. Ye're a fuckin coward, an I'm goin te teach ye not te pick on little kids.'

I slapped an dragged his head, feelin the rage roar up in me, an, usin what I got from Jackser, I tore inta him. The other young fella lashed out wit his foot, kickin me in the side. I let go a Lasher an whipped a hold a Wacker. ‘Ah, no. I'm sorry!' he shouted, tryin te peel me hands offa his hair.

Lasher dragged himself up an shouted, ‘OK, OK! You win. Let him go an we'll give ye a penny each!'

‘Are ye sorry, then?' I shouted.

‘Yeah! Yeah! We are.'

‘Say it, then!' an I shook Wacker's head.

‘We're sorry, we shouldn't a thrown stones at the babby. We didn't mean it.'

I let go an Lasher ran off wit me penny. I grabbed hold of Wacker again. ‘Ah, give her the money! Let me go!'

Lasher came back slowly an threw the penny on the grass.

‘Now your turn, show me yer penny,' I said te Wacker.

‘Let me go, then!'

I grabbed hold of his jumper. ‘Show me the penny!' I shouted.

‘All right! Take it easy, I'm givin it te ye!'

I got the penny from him, an Lasher came closer. His nose was red from the bashin he got. ‘Lookit, if ye don't say anythin te anybody about us, tha ye milled us, then we won't get our gang after ye! Is tha a deal?'

‘I'm not afraid of yer gang,' I snorted.

‘Yeah! All right, we know. But ye'd still get kilt. So will ye say nothin?'

I thought about it. ‘Well, if I get inta any trouble wit anybody, will youse help me?'

‘Yeah! Course we will.'

‘All right, then,' I said, an they went off happy.

I rushed back te Harry, who was sittin there keenin. He had a big red lump on his forehead. I gave him a kiss an rubbed his head, an looked at Charlie, who was squattin down beside Teddy. He was white. I said, ‘Come on. We'll go down an buy sweets.'

Teddy jumped up, puttin his arse in the air first an then pushin his hands te get himself standin. An Charlie rubbed his hands together, laughin wit excitement. We went off slowly, headin down fer the shops, but me heart was heavy, all the enjoyment gone from me. I was frettin about wha Jackser was goin te do te me when he sees the babby's head. He'll blame me fer not lookin after the babby properly. I went te the end of Sheriff Street an parked the pram outside, puttin on the brake an makin sure I could still see the babby.

I went down the steps an inta the shop. It was dark inside, cos the sun doesn't shine down this far an the door is too narra. I lifted Teddy onta the counter an hauled meself up te get a look over at the sweets in their boxes. Teddy started shoutin an wringin his hands wit impatience. ‘Yeah! Yeah! We're gettin them,' I laughed at him. ‘Wha do ye want, Charlie?'

‘Sweets! Gimme sweets!' He was jumpin up an down, holdin on te the counter, cos he couldn't see anythin.

‘Wha do ye's want?' the aul one behind the counter asked.

‘Eh, I'll have ...' I couldn't make up me mind.

‘How much have ye got?' the aul one asked me, gettin impatient.

‘Tuppence, Mrs! But I mightn't be spendin it all here!'

‘Oh, the Lord be! So I'd better not be thinkin of shuttin up shop fer the day, then.'

‘Right! Me mind's made up! I'll have three black jacks, tha's a ha'penny. Tha's fer Charlie. I'll have three jelly babies. Tha's fer Teddy.' He screamed wit impatience when I mentioned his name.

‘Hurry up!' the aul one roared. ‘I haven't all day.'

‘Right! I'm gettin there, Mrs. Give me time, I'm a payin customer!'

‘I'll have none of yer cheek or ye can take yer custom elsewhere!'

‘Right, an gimme a mouse fer the babby. It's soft an he won't choke, cos he only has six teeth!'

She slammed the sweets on the counter. ‘Tha will be one penny!'

‘Have ye a bag fer them, Mrs?'

‘It's a pity about ye! Take the sweets an get out!'

‘I only asked ye. A bit of politeness goes a long way,' I said.

‘Ye's are barred,' she roared at me.

I snorted an let go of the counter. An slid down, grabbin hold of Teddy an slidin him down, catchin him wit me belly pressed against the counter an puttin him on his feet.

I walked up the steps, countin the sweets te make sure they were all there. An Charlie an Teddy roared after me, wantin their sweets. I stepped out inta the sunshine an took the brake off. ‘Charlie! Help Teddy up the steps, take his hand.' But Teddy shook away Charlie's hand an came up the steps on his hands an knees in an awful hurry. I pushed the pram back up the road an sat down on the steps of an old house. The roars outa them! Even the babby was screamin an wavin his hands. He'd seen the sweets an threw his soother inta the pram, his eyes glued te the sweets.

‘Here's yer jelly babies, Teddy! Sit down beside me an put yer two hands out!' I put the jelly babies inta his hands an closed his fingers. He was quiet while he had a good look at them, before puttin them in his mouth.

‘Me! Me!' Charlie was shoutin.

‘Here ye are! Hold yer horses, there's yer black jacks.' An then I gave the babby his marshmallow mouse. An he looked at it, wit the tail an the eyes, an then looked up at me. ‘Yes! Eat it! It's lovely.' An he put it in his mouth an started suckin it. He was delighted wit the taste an took it back out te give me a big smile wit his six teeth. An me heart turned over cos of the big lump on his poor forehead. I gave him a squeeze, an he roared, cos he thought I was tryin te take his mouse.

I sat down an was enjoyin the heat from the sunshine. Teddy was happy, climbin up an down on the wide steps, an Charlie was lookin in the shop windas at the cakes. His mind was always on grub. It would be great if I didn't have te worry about Jackser goin mad cos the babby got hurt.

People were passin up an down, stoppin te talk te each other. One woman stopped wit a big fat purse in her hand an a shoppin bag in the other. ‘There ye are!' she said te another woman, who had hair rollers in her head an was tryin te hide them wit a scarf tied aroun her head. ‘Are ye gettin yerself ready?' she laughed, lookin at the hair rollers.

‘Yeah!' Hair Rollers said. ‘I'm nearly all done. This daughter's weddin will be the death a me yet! The fella she's marryin has relations comin back from England. Well, as I said, Mrs, he needn't think I'm puttin them up! I've enough of me own crowd te be worryin about.'

‘Go way! Ye're right there. Ye'd only be a fool te yerself! They won't thank ye if ye're dead an buried in the mornin from all yer exertations!'

‘No, indeed they won't, Mrs!' Hair Rollers was enjoyin herself no end. She was enjoyin all the glamour of it all, wit people comin all the way from England. ‘I got the new wallpaper!'

The woman wit the purse checked te see if she still had it an shook herself, pulled wit the excitement of hearin it all an jealous cos it wasn't happenin te her. ‘Go on! Tell us more.'

‘It's only gorgeous, Mrs!' an she slapped the other woman's hand.

‘Go way!' Purse said.

‘Yeah, it's heavy red flock wit big white roses. I gorrit on Capel Street. Now tha it's up, I can't stop lookin at it. Even me neighbours think it's lovely. They've been in an outa the house, havin cups of tea an askin if there's anythin I want help wit. They're lendin me chairs, an old Granny Egan is lendin me her china teacups an saucers an matchin plates from her china cabinet. I'm nearly there. Me sisters are cookin the big lump a bacon an a leg a lamb I got. An the neighbours are makin a ton a sambidges. An he has a man tha works fer Guinness's, so the barrel a porter is sorted.'

‘Ah, it will be lovely!' Purse said. ‘I'm delighted fer ye!'

‘Right then, I'd better run. I'll catch up wit ye again,' Hair Rollers said. An off they went about their business. I watched them go, takin the excitement wit them.

Fer a few minutes, I lost the run of meself. Thinkin I was part of it all. Now I felt empty. Teddy was fed up an tired. He was leanin in me lap an slappin me. He wanted te climb inta the pram an get a sleep. Harry was sleepin, so I stood up an fixed his pilla, pullin him down te stretch out an get more comfortable. I pulled up the hood te keep out the sun an said te Teddy, ‘Come on, we'll see wha's in the shop winda! Charlie, you sit there an rest, an keep an eye on the babby.'

We walked slowly down te the shop an stopped te look in the winda. I looked at the lovely little dolls. They cost sixpence. If I could get the money te buy one of them, I'd be so happy. I've never had a doll. I'd get meself a shoebox an make a bed fer it. I could put holes in the arms of old rags an dress the doll. I'd never stop playin wit it. Tha would be heaven. Teddy started roarin his head off an pullin me hand. He wanted te go back an sleep in the pram. ‘Come on, then, off we go,' I said te him. He wanted me te carry him, but he was too heavy fer me. I started te pretend te run wit him, te make him laugh, but he was rubbin his eyes exhausted. ‘All right! Martha will put ye te sleep. Let's go.'

I started te walk home wit the pram, wonderin if maybe they might be back now. An I didn't see them passin me, so I started te hurry. I put Teddy sittin in the bottom of the pram an told him not te lie down on the babby's feet. I looked at Charlie runnin beside the pram. ‘Are ye all right, Charlie? Maybe me ma's home.'