Madness or Purpose (11 page)

“I woke up because I was hot. I was so hot I was sweating bullets. I couldn’t open my eyes because everything hurt, it burned. I tried to get out of Gavin’s arms, but I couldn’t make him let go. That’s when I smelled it, burning flesh, burning fabric a loud crackling. I panicked enough I was able to electrocute him and he released me.

I rolled out of the bed putting myself out. He was thrashing and screaming and bursts of flames shot out of his palms. I thought he was burning alive! I grabbed a blanket and beat at the flames. The entire time I was screaming at him to wake up there was a fire. I even tried to pull him out of the bed, but I couldn’t force myself to hold on to his body. That is when I realized he was the source of the fire. I began to beat him again and scream for him to wake up. He finally came to and the moment he realized everything was on fire water poured down over everything, but I have no idea where it came from.” Natasha has a bewildered look on her face and Dean’s expression has transformed from concern to concentration and deep thought.

“When he looked at me his eyes had flames dancing in them and his entire body was bright red. His gaze was hollow like he was no longer inside his own body. His aura had changed colors to match mine, but he looked at me like I was a complete stranger. He feels connected to me at this point, but he doesn’t understand why. Anyhow, I got him to go with me and got him to put clothes on. I called Natasha and the reason I hung up so abruptly was because he was in the kitchen with his hands on fire starring at them, terrified of himself. I helped him extinguish them and when he hugged me in fear he held me too tight cutting off my air supply and when he began panicking he lit us both on fire again at least from the waist up. I managed to electrocute him again before I passed out. When I woke up you were here.”

I have been rubbing my thumb over the top of Gavin’s hand keeping him calm and focusing on my memories. When I look up Natasha’s jaw seems to be about to unhinge itself and Dean’s face has turned back to concerned. “Oh, and Gavin said his throat feels like it is on fire and if he tries to talk the pain gets worse. He seems to recognize us all too some degree, but is very confused.” I tell them. Dean runs his callused hands through his dark brown hair and strokes the stubble on his chin. Natasha has picked the leather bound journal style book up and is flipping though it’s pages looking for something she must have remembered seeing at some point.

Gavin’s voice filled my head. “
I am so sorry; I want to know who you are. I feel like I know you like you and I are two halves of one whole.” “We are. You and I are two halves of one soul. We are best friends and more. That would be why we were naked.”
The flames in his eyes flashed to a regular pupil and silver, blue iris and then immediately back to flickering flames. Maybe he is more aware than either of us knows.

Dean clears his throat and everyone’s eyes turn to him. “Zoe. Since Gavin seems to be unable to speak, I’ll be asking you some questions. If he has some input he can add it through you.” I nod and so does Gavin. “Some of these questions may seem personal. I do not know what all you know about us and yourself. So, I would like to apologize in advance if anything makes you uncomfortable.” Natasha excuses herself and goes into the kitchen coming back with four glasses of ice water.

Gavin takes one in his free hand and gulps it down. I hand him mine and he does the same.
“Like a numbing agent.”
He thinks. “Ok, so Zoe, you know you and Gavin are meant to be together that you share one soul?” I nod. “You know that you have been valed and we are not sure to what degree or how long it will take to wear off completely?” Again I nod. “You know that neither of your biological guardian parents is known?” Gavin and I nod together. “And you know what it means to be fully bonded? Have you been fully bonded?” I sigh. “Yes, and yes this all happened after that occurred. Well I think it did.” I replied.

I sent vivid images through the connection to Gavin and his cheeks reddened and he looked at the floor. If I wasn’t so focused then I probably would have been reacting in a similar manner. “Ok, I have a theory.” Dean says slowly.

“It’s only a theory and I need to chat with some fellow guardians to see if we are on the right track. Do you want to hear it now or later?” “Now please.”

Gavin’s voice rasps and he puts a hand to his throat. We all stare at him briefly. Then Dean clears his throat and settles into his seat on a camping chair.

“I believe that just as Zoe’s vale has been repressing her nature and full potential not being bonded yet in constant contact with her since age 9 has repressed some of Gavin’s nature. We usually really begin to mature and fill our shoes if you will during our teenage years. If Zoe can manipulate energy and both of you seem to heal at incredible rates, it’s very possible that the creation and manipulation of fire is just another thing you are able to do. I mean there is a possibility that you actually both possess all of your displayed gifts since you share a soul.

If you are whom we believe you to be, it would really all make sense and learning to controlling your abilities should bring them out and under control in both of you. It may finish removing Zoe’s vale and actually complete your bonding. It seems even though you physically bonded, you may not have mentally done so. Really, everything is unknown with the two of you at least at some level.” Dean’s face looked tired and worn. “Natasha, you want to take care of things here? I’ve got to make some calls and get this place cleaned up,” he asks. Natasha nods and Dean excuses himself out to the fire escape type balcony.

“Alright then, you two are with me.” Natasha says hitting her thigh with her hand. “Now, Gavin you should really put on a shirt and Zoe we need water, candles, a lighter or matches, and you should both freshen up, you reek like smoke!” We look at each other, her, back to each other and shrug. “Chop, chop! I don’t have my whole life to waste on you two I got a half of my own to find now scoot!” I let Gavin shower first while Natasha and I clean the puddle of water up in the kitchen from when Gavin doused himself and quick tidy up my room because I have a feeling people will be removing the bed at some point today. Natasha only speaks to me aloud and only when it is really necessary. As we finish gathering the needed supplies and move the small amount of living room furniture we own Gavin comes out of the bathroom with a puzzled look on his face, but fully clothed. We both give him questioning looks and he responds by pointing at his half wet hair. I blink twice and look at Natasha. “It changed color.” I verbalize what we are all thinking. His gold blonde hair is now as jet black as mine! For the entire time I’ve known him he has been a blonde, but frankly with all the weird things happening it doesn’t surprise me. “We’ll just have to go with it.” Natasha mumbles while digging in her gigantic purse for something. “Zoe go shower,” she commands and I scuttle off. Just before I leave the room with clothes in hand Gavin reaches out and grabs my arm. He pulls me into his chest and presses his lips to my forehead.

My shower is hot and comforting. My body still aches and my head is throbbing. I can’t really take anything for it, because I know the pain killers aren’t meant for my kind of headaches. I figured I’d have to hurry because our hot water never lasts long, but come to think of it, the bathroom was ice cold when I walked in.

Maybe he took a cold shower to cool down his skin. He really does feel like he is on fire. I wonder if he is ok out there. I close my eyes and concentrate on his scent that reminds me of fresh cut grass and pine trees. I still can’t seem to focus on his thoughts. I can tell he is as far from both Natasha and Relic as he can get without leaving the living room. His pulse races and his aura is very dim like he is trying to hide. I finish rinsing off and quickly blow-dry my hair as I dress. I look less haggard and frazzled, but the exhaustion is easy to see even through the shattered mirror.

As soon as she comes around the corner I run to her. I think about her and I am next to her it is that fast. I have no idea how I did it and frankly I don’t care right now she is the only one who can sooth the fire that burns just under my skin. The entire ten minutes she was in the shower I was terrified I was going to light the whole place on fire. She quietly gasps at my sudden appearance. “What did you do to him Natasha,” Zoe asks. “I am as innocent as a kitten. I just sat here with your furry guide here. Gavin just sat over there on that dresser and fidgeted with his fingers glancing at me like I am some sort of poisonous snake here.” Natasha frowned.

“I miss my friend…I hope he is still in there.” Her shoulders fall and she continues to pat the dog’s head. In my mind I scramble to try and explain myself to Zoe. I drag her to Natasha and gesture for her to take Natasha’s hand.

“I am sorry Tash. I don’t know what is going on. I know… I know you I know you are my friend. I am still me… I am in here, somewhere. I don’t want to hurt you or anyone else. I can’t control this and if I panic everything gets out of control, I disappear and all that’s left is fire! I think ZZ has put me in my place enough that I can remain somewhat stable around her and my throat seems very damaged from my inability to control this so it’s one of the only ways I can talk. Please, don’t touch me I am afraid if you do I might hurt you.”
A tear falls from my eye sizzling on my cheek.
“It’s ok Gavin. I understand. Now let’s get down to business.”
She answers breaking the connection and moving to sit on the floor. Natasha gestures to us to join her on the floor and without letting go of Zoe we move to the set up on the floor. Her teaching supplies consist of a bucket of water, some candles, a lighter, a battery alarm clock, and a remote control helicopter.

“Let’s start with Gavin’s current troubles since he is currently the most deadly and I would not like to be burnt to crisp.” Zoe and I nod simultaneously. “I’m going to take Zoe’s hand because I think this will be easier if we can talk through this.” Natasha explains before taking Zoe’s hand in hers.
“Ok, Gavin can you tell me how you feel right now. Describe the feeling I assume is just below the surface.”
I nod.
“It feels like a running river of heat just below my skin.” I tell them. “How does it change when your hand lights and what seems to trigger it?

It is a feeling, a thought?”
I think for a moment searching the past events.
“Well, it happens when I lose control, when I can’t focus or when I am scared. In the bedroom I was having a nightmare. Someone had taken Zoe. They tortured her in front of me and restrained me both physically and mentally. I was powerless to save her. My own anger and sadness was so great it felt like my heart exploded. I could only see red and feel the heat radiate off of my body.

I was able to destroy them and end her torture. That is when she woke me and I have no idea how I extinguished the flames other than the ones inside myself. I felt overjoyed that she was safe and the heat melted away deep into the center of my body.”
I took a deep shaky breath the air burning my throat and making me wince.

“When I was in the kitchen the dog kept whining at me and my throat was on fire. I tried to look in the fridge for something cold, but my vision was still so red I could barely see. The heat bubbled up in my frustration and when my palms lit up I didn’t know what to do.

Then the dog started growling at me and I couldn’t concentrate and the flames started growing as my frustration turned to anger. When Zoe’s voice hit my ears I panicked! I didn’t want to harm her, but her presence seemed to cool the flames slightly. Once we put my hands out I was so scared I felt like I needed to be closer to her to hold her to me to hold onto my sanity, my control. When our skin met I was overcome with lust, and mind you when I awoke I had not connected everything I have now and I was frustrated that I did not know this woman yet I actually ached for her. The onslaught of emotions sent my system haywire and the anger came back. I felt possessed and I couldn’t seem to hit the off button until she gave me another good jolt. It’s like it reset my brain waves and allowed me to take control again. I can’t tell you why my pants and her clothes weren’t burnt off, but maybe it was because I did not have ill intentions; I mean her hair never went up in flames either. Now when I feel out of control or bombarded by emotions her voice seems to trigger a memory of the jolts of electricity and somehow I am able to keep it subdued.”

“You have to write this down Gavin baby! This is incredible!” Natasha squeals aloud. “Ok I have an idea!”

She continues.
“Gavin, do you think you can remember a small frustrating event while holding onto Zoe? She might just be able to counter act an overflow of emotion.”
Natasha asks.
“I can, but are you sure Tash? That sounds well CRAZY!”
I tell her. Both women look at me pulling their eyebrows together and shaking their heads at me.
“Of course it’s a bit crazy, but what else are we supposed to do? You can’t learn to control it if you don’t use it.”
Zoe replies. I won’t argue with two women I wouldn’t even try to with one I would never win. So, I close my eyes and I feel Natasha drop from the connection to allow us to concentrate. She nudges the bucket of water closer to me just in case. Taking a deep breath I search through the snippets of memories from the last few hours I can’t really seem to see further back than that. I focus on the few moments I was digging in the fridge and the incessant whining of the dog. I begin to feel the molten bubbling in the recesses of my mind. It grows as I re-run the memory again and again. I feel it start to spread through me trying to envelope my body from head to toe. Zoe sends flashes of her eyes and the jolts she delivered to my body. I concentrate on my right hand, the one she is not holding. I think about the heat traveling there and settling in my palm. I hear Natasha gasp and Zoe tells me to open my eyes.

Dancing in the center of my up turned hand is an orange flame. As I look the only part of my body that looks flushed is my hand and I can only feel the heat there. “Now, imagine it smoldering out.” Natasha suggests. As I concentrate it slowly shrinks in size and smothers itself sending a wisp of smoke up from my hand. I feel like flames are rising up inside my throat and charring me from the inside. Zoe notices my pain and sends Natasha for some water. She hands it to me and I empty the glass in one long drink. Natasha is prepared and refills it with the pitcher beside her. I empty the second glass and set it on the floor. Next Natasha has me create the flame but imagine it jumping to the candles set in front of me. Zoe only has to think about electrocuting me once and I am able to direct the flame. I am able to put out the candles and push the burning deep into the recesses of my mind. My vision finally clears and I can see both women admiring the new color of my irises. I grin, it feels natural and familiar. Natasha bounces up and down in her excitement and claps her hands together spouting phrases in Russian that neither Zoe nor I understand.