Marie Sexton - Between Sinners And Saints (27 page)

Jaime had hoped Levi would be willing to consider his plan, but he’d never in his wildest dreams expected him to agree so readily. He woke the next morning wondering if it had all been a dream. One look at Levi at the breakfast table told him it wasn’t, not because he could see anything on Levi’s face alluding to their moving, but because he could see the hungriness in Levi’s eyes that hinted at their parting kiss of the night before.

Jaime sat down across from him because he knew if he sat next to him, he’d be slapping Levi’s hands away while he tried to eat. “Is it really a good idea,” Jaime asked him, “or are we insane?”

Levi grinned at him. “I don’t think those two options are mutually exclusive.”
“So you still want to do it?”
“The sooner the better.”
Of course, Ruth and Nancy were listening in, so their half-ass plan, concocted in the middle of the night around the dining room table, was presented for all to judge. The vote was unanimous. Levi’s family, the portion present at least, loved the idea.
“We can look everything up online,” Ruth said ten minutes later as she came back into the dining room with three different laptops. She handed one to Levi, one to Jaime, and kept one for herself. Levi’s mom produced a Charleston phonebook from a drawer and ignored the good-natured ribbing from her children over hanging on to such a worthless relic. And the four of them went to work.
Levi’s mother knew a woman from her church, who had a sister whose daughter had married a man who was a Realtor in Charleston. Jaime felt the gears in his head start to jam as he tried to trace the string of connections.
“So, you know this guy how exactly?” he finally asked.
“Through the church,” Levi said, laughing. “People sometimes think Mormons only want to work with other Mormons, but that’s not really right. It’s just, through the church, they always know
somebody
who can help them.” He smiled over at his mom. “All the more reason you don’t actually need a phonebook. All you really need is the ward directory.”
“Except he’s not
in
our ward, smart-alec.”
They came up with a list of houses to look at, chosen specifically because they had some type of office or extra room for Jaime’s massages, and before he knew it, they had an appointment to meet with somebody named Craig the very next day to look at them all.
Next, they looked up nurseries and landscape companies, and Levi was given a list and sent in the other room with the phone to call them all. Nancy and Ruth started on lunch, while Jaime looked into what it would take to get a license in South Carolina. Given his current licensure, experience, and certifications, it wasn’t going to be difficult.
Levi came back in an hour later looking shell-shocked. “I have an interview,” he said, “but I’m supposed to show them my resume.”
“You have an interview already?” Jaime asked stupidly. He couldn’t quite believe it would happen so fast.
Levi didn’t seem to register the question. “I don’t have a resume.”
At which point, Jackson was enlisted, and the two of them disappeared into Abraham’s study. Eventually, Ruth and Nancy had to make dinner, and they all conceded they’d done enough for one day. Jaime watched them buzzing around the kitchen, making dinner, playfully scolding the kids who were trying to sneak cookies, even though they were eating some themselves, and he marveled at how comfortable he felt. He loved Levi’s family. And he was amazed at how supportive they seemed to be of him and Levi.
Just then Abraham walked into the room, pointedly ignoring Jaime.
Not all of the family was supportive yet.

As usual, Jaime was the first one awake the next morning. It was freezing outside, and he opted to be lazy and let Dolly loose in the back yard rather than taking her for her usual walk. She only stayed out long enough to do what needed to be done. She didn’t seem to like the cold any better than he did. He was letting her back in when Levi came down the stairs. He was wearing a pair of holey sweats and a T-shirt, and still somehow managed to look amazing. Sleeping apart didn’t bother Jaime much, but he definitely missed the activities that went with it.

“Still no nightmares?” Levi asked him.
“No.”
“Good thing. It’s a bit too cold to sleep outside.”
“I’m not worried about it. Things were different then.” Levi

looked confused by the answer, and Jaime thought about how to explain it. “I think last time, it had more to do with…” He faltered, and felt his face heating up. He couldn’t help smiling. “Certain urges being suppressed.”

Levi’s face broke into a suggestive grin and he leaned against Jaime. He brushed his lips over Jaime’s ear, and Jaime shivered. He was paranoid about somebody walking in, but it felt good to be close to Levi again. Levi’s arm stole around his waist. “Are you telling me,” Levi whispered in his ear, “those urges
aren’t
being suppressed now? Because I feel terribly,
terribly
suppressed.” Jaime laughed, and Levi leaned closer, kissing his neck. “I can’t wait to get you alone and—”

Levi jumped, and Jaime quickly pushed him away, feeling his entire face burn. Nancy smiled at them as she shuffled into the kitchen in a pink robe and matching slippers. Levi kept his back to her, pulling his T-shirt down low to cover the tent in his sweats. Jaime was glad his paranoia at being caught hadn’t left him in a similar predicament.

Even without a tent in his pants, Jaime was too embarrassed to look at her. He kept his gaze on the wall over the fridge.
“Levi, honey, Ruth’s leaving for her secret Starbucks run in about five minutes, and I bet she’ll have her hands full today. Why don’t you go with her?”
Levi was surprised, but also looked relieved to be handed an excuse to leave the room. “You bet,” he said, heading for the door. “I’ll go get dressed.”
“Levi?” Nancy called before he reached the door. “Bring me back one of those caramel apple things, please. With whipped cream.”
Levi looked even more surprised, but he turned and headed up the stairs to change. Nancy opened the dishwasher and pulled out the top rack.
“Have you tried the caramel cider?” she asked Jaime.
“No,” Jaime managed to mumble, although he still couldn’t meet her eyes.
“It doesn’t have any coffee in it. You should have Levi get you one, too. You’ll think you’ve died and gone to heaven.”
He risked looking up at her. She was taking clean glasses out of the dishwasher and putting them away. She glanced at him and smiled.
“I can tell you’re an only child,” she said. “You blush at the drop of a hat.” Which, of course, caused him to blush again, as if to prove her point. “I think having siblings inures you to embarrassment. To some extent, at least.”
“I’m sorry,” Jaime said. “We promised to be discreet—”
“And you have been,” she said. “You were alone. None of the kids are up yet. I can’t say I was quite
ready
to see it.” She shrugged, waving her hand at him dismissively. “But you didn’t do anything wrong.” She smiled at him. “Besides, if I was going to scold anybody it’d be Levi. It looked to me like he was guiltier than you.”
If he blushed any more he was afraid he’d pass out. He hoped she’d change the subject. But Nancy had apparently decided she may as well go full-speed ahead with her plan to embarrass him to death because the next thing she said was, “He loves you very much, doesn’t he?” She stopped putting dishes away and looked at him.
What in the world was he supposed to say? He settled for, “I think maybe that’s true.”
“In the past, we’d try to talk to him about his life—about the choices he was making—and all he’d ever say was we should let him live his life the way he wanted. But he never looked happy.” Her voice was strained and her eyes were filling with tears. “He never
seemed
happy. But now, I don’t know anymore.” She stopped and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, sniffling. “When he looks at you, he lights up. It’s the same look he’d get as a kid when we’d take him to the beach. Like he’s been given his greatest wish.”
Jaime wasn’t sure what to say and he was relieved when Levi came back in, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. Nancy turned away quickly and continued putting dishes into the cabinet.
Levi took one look at Jaime and stopped. “Is everything okay?” he asked, glancing toward his mother, who was still sniffling.
Jaime was confused until he realized how it might have looked from Levi’s point of view: first, his mother had caught them in an embrace in the kitchen, and now she was in tears and his lover redfaced with embarrassment. He was worried they’d been arguing. Jaime smiled at him. “Everything’s fine.”
Nancy smiled over at them. “I was just telling Jaime he shouldn’t blush so easily.”
Levi shook his head. “Don’t you listen to her,” he said to Jaime. And Jaime blushed again as, right there in front of Nancy, Levi kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, “I like you this way.”

The next few days were a blur, but without fail, every piece seemed to fall into place. They found a house in Charleston. They’d be renting for now, because it seemed easier than buying, especially since Jaime still had to sell his house in Miami. Levi was hired at the nursery in Charleston. They didn’t get much business over the holidays, and, of course, Levi still had to move, so they agreed he would start on the first Monday after the new year. He’d train for three days a week the first two weeks, following which, he’d be a full-time employee.

Jaime was amazed at how easily things were coming together. Levi, on the other hand, seemed to take it all in stride once the “no resume” hurdle was cleared. “I think it was meant to be,” he told Jaime more than once. “It’s proof this is the right choice.”

“There’s one more thing I want to ask you,” Jaime said to him, the night before they were to head back home. They were downstairs in the Binder house, alone in the den except for Dolly, asleep on Levi’s other side. The rest of the family was already in bed. Although he still worried it would get them in trouble if they were caught, Jaime had found enough courage to cuddle up to Levi as they sat watching TV.

“Yes, I still want to move,” Levi said.
“That’s not it.”
“Yes, I still want to rip your clothes off and get you off right

“That’s not it either.” Jaime laughed. Of course, now Levi was trying to do exactly that, and Jaime had to push his wandering hands away. “Stop,” he scolded, still laughing. He was glad Levi was joking, though, because he was nervous about what he wanted to ask and the laughter helped relax him. He pulled away from Levi enough to take one of Levi’s hands and massage it instead. It gave him something to concentrate on so he didn’t have to look in Levi’s eyes when he said it.

“It must be serious,” Levi said. “You’re breaking out the heavy artillery.”
Jaime smiled. “You can say no,” he said. “I know it’s fast, so I won’t mind if you think it’s a bad idea.”
“I’m trying to think of something you might ask that I would say no to, and I’m not coming up with much,” Levi said. “Unless it involves stretching this Boy Scout celibacy thing another damn day. I definitely vote no on celibacy.”
“I’ll be applying for a new license, getting a new driver’s license, and basically starting over in South Carolina.”
“Right.”
He took a deep breath and made himself say it. “I was thinking, if I’m ever going to change my name, now would be the time to do it.” He still couldn’t look at Levi. He was too afraid of what he might see in his eyes. He continued to massage his hand, waiting for an answer. His heart pounded in his chest, and stomach was in knots. “And I understand if you want to say no, because it’s so fast. But I don’t have any connection to Marshall, you know. My mother’s last name is Miller. Marshall was my father’s name, and I never even knew him.”
He was talking faster now out of nervousness, his words running together. “It’s something I’ve thought about before, changing my last name, just to start new, but I never knew what to change it to. But when I’m here, with you and your family, I want to be one of you. I know it sounds silly, but it’s something I’d like to do. And I know it’s really out of the blue, so it’s okay if you want to say no if you think—”
Levi didn’t say a word, but he grabbed Jaime’s hand and pulled him into his arms, cutting off his breathless stream of words. He kissed the side of Jaime’s head, and when he spoke, his voice was hoarser than normal. “Honey, I think it’s a great idea.”
“Really?” Jaime asked. He felt it was a stupid question, but he’d been so afraid to ask. In his heart he’d expected Levi to agree, but it hadn’t stopped his imagination from showing him scenes where Levi laughed in his face instead. He was relieved to find out his heart had been right. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
“It’s perfect.” Levi kissed the side of his head again. He was holding him too tight for Jaime to pull away and see his face, but he swore Levi was sniffling a bit. “What’s your middle name?”
“Franklin,” he said. He’d always hated his middle name. “Maybe I’ll keep Marshall and ditch that instead. What do you think of Jaime Marshall Binder?”
Levi laughed. “I think it’s perfect,” he said. “I love you so much, Jaime Marshall Binder.”

A few days later they were back home, and the real chaos began. Levi had to break his lease and move right away, while Jaime stayed behind. He put his house on the market and started packing. He filed the paperwork to legally change his name and applied for a license in South Carolina. He trimmed his clients down to a few select people, all crammed into his schedule on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Every Friday, he loaded his car with boxes and drove to Charleston. He’d spend the weekend with Levi, then make the lonely drive back to Miami on Monday.

He missed Levi so much it hurt, but he was relieved to find he could once again sleep in his own bed without facing nightmares every single night. As he’d told Levi in Georgetown, the horrible nightmares he’d faced for a while were the result of the sexual attraction he’d felt, yet tried so hard to deny. Now that they were exploring his sexual desires, the nightmares had become less frequent.

And exploring sexual desires was exactly how they spent a great deal of their weekends together. Jaime could barely get inside their new front door without Levi ripping his clothes off, and while he hated having only two days together, he had to admit they made the most of those two days. And it was unbelievably fun.