Mastered: Ten Tales of Sensual Surrender (98 page)

“It’s been ten years, Rafe. We both moved to New York when Sassy left us, and yet for all that time, we didn’t speak to each other. Why was that?”

Rafe leaned against the other counter and folded his arms over his massive—and sexy—chest. Damn it, he needed to stop thinking with his dick and start thinking with his brain or he’d be in trouble.

Again.

“You never contacted me either, Ian. We wanted to cut ties when Sassy left, though you left us long before that.”

Ian ignored the slice across his heart since Rafe wasn’t saying anything he hadn’t known already.

“I…you don’t know how sorry I am for putting that distance between the three of us,” Ian finally said after a moment of strained silence.

Rafe’s eyes widened. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“What? You don’t think I feel sorry? You don’t think I can admit it when I make mistakes? I fucking acted like I was better than the two of you, like I was ashamed of what we had. Because fuck it all, I was.”

Rafe looked like Ian had punched him in the gut and Ian cursed. Damn him and his big mouth for speaking without thinking first.

“Shit, that’s not what I meant.”

Rafe held up a hand. “You said it, and you never say things you don’t mean on some level. You’re ice, Ian. We both know that.”

Ian ran a hand through his hair in a swift, jerky, motion. “Fuck. Yes, I was ashamed of what we had but not because what we had was wrong. Hear me out. You know that a triad in real life is almost unheard of. People don’t see it as a legitimate relationship. They think of it as something for the bedroom, and even then, it should be behind closed doors—never spoken of. People don’t understand that there are real feelings involved—at least there were for us.”

“And by people, you mean your family,” Rafe said dryly.

Ian grimaced. “Yeah, them and everyone else in my life who weren’t the three of us. I was a fucking idiot and we both know it. Sassy knows it too. Jesus, if I could turn back time and fix what I did, I’d do it. I hurt the both of you because I was too scared to figure out what the hell I was feeling and deal with it. I loved you both, you have to believe that.”

Jesus, he’d never laid it out like that before, but damn it, he wasn’t going to hold back like he had before. At least he hoped he wouldn’t.

Rafe’s features softened somewhat but he didn’t smile. Ian missed that smile already, and because of that feeling, he knew he was already in deep. Did he care? He didn’t know.

“Plus, Rafe, even ten years ago being in a relationship with you alone would have been cause for scandal in the world I grew up in. Things have changed for the better in that respect in the past decade, but back then it would have taken a strength I didn’t possess to be honest with myself and you both. I’m so fucking sorry, Rafe, so very sorry I hurt you by pretending I was better than what we were and pulling back. I’m sorry I never introduced you or Sassy to my family and friends from that circle of my life. I’ve only ever been truly ashamed once in my life and it wasn’t because of what we were, but how I handled it.”

Rafe closed his eyes, his body tense and unmoving. Had Ian said too much? He knew that whatever happened from the point where Rafe had come into his office in New York to talk about their future that things would be beyond difficult.

He just prayed it would be worth it.

It
had
to be worth it.

“Again, you leave me breathless,” Rafe whispered. “You should have talked to Sassy and me back then. You know it. I know it. And I’m pretty sure Sassy knew it. We were stronger together than we ever were apart. You pulled away and Sassy got scared and left us before we could hurt her. But you know, the truth is, we hurt her anyway. I might have been the one left behind by the both of you, but I made mistakes too. I never fought for you, never fought for Sassy. I just let it all happen and ran to New York with my tail between my legs. I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted to do with my life, so I took a chance and ran away.”

Ian cupped Rafe’s face, startled that he’d taken the initiative this time. He had always been the one in control in the past, yet it had been a long time, and he didn’t know where he stood. It would take a lot of trial and error between all of them to find their footing.

Ian was oddly intrigued about how that would all work.

“We’re a couple of guilt-ridden wrecks, aren’t we?” Ian asked, his voice a deep rasp. “What the hell are we doing, Rafe?” he asked again.

“We’re trying to build a future,” Rafe said after a moment. “We were young when we found and then broke each other just the same. We’re older and hopefully wiser now, Ian. We each have our own lives, you with your business, me with the shops, and Sassy with the family she seems to have made. We’re going to have to figure out how to fit into each other’s worlds while building our own together at the same time.”

“I came to New Orleans to make a life,” Ian said. “I grew up here and in New York because of where my parents had homes. I made New York my home when I left here because that’s where I thought I could do the best business…and I couldn’t stay here after what had happened.”

“And I’ve always had my family here, but I’m here for good now because I was tired of running. Tired of trying to be happy with what I had when I knew I used to have better.” Rafe grinned. “Plus my mother wants grandbabies and wants them near her so coming home only made sense.”

Ian choked. “Grandbabies?” Jesus. Were they at that stage? He hadn’t even spoken to Sassy other than a few words and none of those had been the true apology she’d deserved.

Rafe threw his head back and laughed. “Grandbabies as in what all mothers—especially
my
mother desire most of all. You and I both know we are nowhere near ready to even think about that. Though, you know, we aren’t getting any younger.” He said that last part with a wicked grin on his face and Ian rolled his eyes.

“Let’s take this one thing at a time, shall we?” He moved away from the counter and went back to his stool. Rafe followed after he poured them each coffees.

“Shit, I forgot I got up to get coffee in the first place. Thanks.” He took the mug and sipped. “My head doesn’t seem firmly attached to my shoulders at this point.”

“You’re adorable when you’re flustered,” Rafe said and batted his eyes.

The coffee Ian had just sipped burned going down the wrong pipe and he coughed, his eyes watered. “Please, don’t ever do that again,” he laughed, wiping up the mess with a nearby dishtowel.

“You know you love me,” Rafe said then closed his mouth as if he’d said too much.

Ian put down his coffee and the towel, then stood again so he was near Rafe. He widened his legs and Ian slid between them needing to be close. The hair on his arms stood on end as the heat and tension in the room rose, but he ignored it, his focus solely on Rafe.

He traced his finger over Rafe’s bearded cheek then ran his hand over the other man’s head, the short hair sliding between his fingers.

“I do, you know. Love you. I never stopped. Not really. I loved the man you were and from what I’ve seen, I love who you are now. I know that once we find out who we are since we’ve grown that I’ll fall for you even more.”

He licked his lips, scared as all hell that he’d just laid it out there plain for Rafe to see. He’d never said the words before. He’d been too afraid of what he was becoming to be honest with not only himself, but those around him.

Things were different now. If he was going to jump from that ledge he was going to do it on his own terms and put everything he had into it.

There was no holding back now.

He watched Rafe’s throat work as the other man swallowed hard. He wasn’t sure Rafe was ready for the words or the meaning behind them, even though Rafe had been the one to start it all, and decided to give the man some peace.

Or at least as much peace as he could give.

Rafe’s eyes darkened, his breath quickened as Ian lowered his head. Their lips brushed and Ian groaned, missing the feel of the other man’s mouth beneath his. He licked the seam of Rafe’s lips and his lover opened for him, groaning as well. Ian deepened the kiss, their tongues colliding, their tastes mingling. He drew back slightly to nip at Rafe’s lips, soothing the sting with his tongue, then went back to the kiss he’d craved since Rafe had walked into his New York office with a plan.

He cupped Rafe’s face needing to bring the man closer. Rafe’s thighs tightened around Ian’s waist, forcing him to rock his hips slightly at the pressure. Rafe pulled back with a gasp and Ian trailed his lips along the other man’s neck, needing more, demanding more.

Rafe’s hands went to Ian’s ass, cupping him and Ian rocked harder, his cock tenting his sweats, brushing along Rafe’s stomach.

Though they’d had each other in every way possible before, Ian knew they were going too fast right then. They needed Sassy to complete what they had and they both wanted to wait. Reluctantly, he pulled away, leaning his forehead against Rafe’s.

They both breathed heavily, and Ian had to close his eyes for a moment to catch himself. God, he’d missed the way Rafe tasted, the way his kisses were always slightly rougher than what they had with Sassy. He loved both ways, and when the three of them came together, it was always so fucking explosive Ian could barely keep up.

“I…I’ve missed that so much.”

Ian opened his eyes and drew back, turning to the sound of the cherished voice that did not belong to Rafe.

“Sassy…” he breathed, unable to comprehend what he was seeing.

She gave him a small smile, her hands clasped in front of her—the demure pose so unlike Sassy it startled him. Rafe stood beside him, almost knocking Ian over in his rush. Ian shifted slightly so Rafe had room, but still was touching him hip to hip.

“I’m sorry. I let myself in. Your doorman seemed to remember me and let me up.”

Ian blinked. He had one of the nicer lofts in New Orleans and the doorman had been working for his family for over twenty years. Of course, the man would have remembered Sassy.

No one forgot Sassy.

Ian took a deep breath and nodded. “Don’t be sorry. I’m glad he let you in.” He could feel the blush creeping up his neck at what she’d walked in on. She might have said she’d missed it, but did she feel left out?

“Don’t look like that, Ian. You either, Rafe. I was never jealous of what you two shared. Just like how you two were never jealous of what we shared with each other. God, guys. What you two just did? That sweet yet sexy-as-hell kiss? It meant
everything
to me. You guys used to hold back with each other at first, and it always killed me when you did that. But to see the two of you kissing and feeling that warmth from it makes me feel like the reason I’m here is okay.”

Ian blinked then walked around the bar so he could be close to her. He felt Rafe on his heels and liked knowing that as he needed the man’s inherent strength that Ian didn’t seem to possess at that moment.

“What are you saying?” Rafe asked.

She looked between them both and took a deep breath. “I’m saying that I’m willing to stop hiding from what we were. I’m not saying I’m ready for a full commitment like what I think you both are saying, but I’m willing to take things one day at a time.”

Relief slammed into Ian so hard he almost fell to his knees.

Rafe took a step forward and Ian almost followed but Sassy put her hand up. “Give me two weeks.”

“What?” he asked.

“Two weeks where we just do coffee and maybe dinner. We can find out who we are now. I don’t even know what you both do for a living. Not really. Give me two weeks where we don’t touch, kiss, or give into the heat we all feel. I want to make sure that we actually like the people we’ve become rather than the people we were.”

Ian nodded, liking that idea. Things were moving too fast as it was. He was a planner and liked to have all his facts before he made a decision. Though he seemed to have already made one with his heart, the time to think would be good for his brain.

“Anything you want, Sass,” Rafe whispered. “Just hear us out.”

She gave them a shaky smile then rolled her shoulders back. “I hope you two know what you’re in for. I’m
The
Sassy after all.”

Rafe snorted. “There’s a story behind that, isn’t there?”

She smiled full out and Ian went weak in the knees again. “Of course. That’s just one thing you’ll have to learn.”

If it took him a hundred years, he wasn’t sure he’d ever find out every nuance of this woman, but he knew he’d do everything in his power to make it happen.

This was their second chance and he wasn’t going to lose it.

Chapter Four

What was two weeks of celibacy compared to the months she’d been sex-free before this?

Sassy groaned and knocked her head against the wall. Well, considering for the past two weeks when she wasn’t at the shop she’d been tied to Rafe and Ian, the lack of sex might just kill her. She’d not had sex with them for ten years; what was two more weeks?

Okay, so she hadn’t exactly been in their vicinity for those ten years, so it made it easier, but still, she was a grown woman who could handle her urges.

Barely.

She was a confident, modern woman, so it wasn’t out of character for her to take care of her own orgasms when she felt the need. It was just a coincidence that Rafe and Ian happened to be the center of her sweaty, naughty fantasies when she let her hand fall between her legs.

Damn it, she needed to stop thinking about sex and everything that came with it. Her nipples were constantly hard, and she was pretty sure her knees would go weak at just the thought of one of the men touching her.

She was
not
a weak-kneed school girl, and she refused to allow herself to become one.

In the two weeks since she’d walked in on Ian and Rafe in the kitchen going at each other like there was no tomorrow…

No, she couldn’t think about the way the two of them had melded together in heat. She had to remain at least somewhat cool when the men arrived. If she looked all hot and bothered, they’d know.