Authors: Melissa Foster
Tags: #fiction, #love, #loss, #friendship, #drama, #literary, #cancer, #family, #novel, #secrets, #movies, #way, #womens, #foster, #secrecy, #cape cod, #megan, #melissa, #megans
“I didn’t really want to ditch them. I just
didn’t want to be with them—or anybody really.” She saw his face
deflate, his smile quickly fade. “I don’t mean you. I mean, I
didn’t know you. I’ll still hang out, but just let me tell them so
they don’t worry.”
Immediately his smile returned, his face
lightened. “Okay. Want me to come?”
Olivia nodded.
A friend, maybe I’ll have a
real friend
. “Sure, come on!” She rushed out of the bushes.
When she reached the clearing, she found herself facing Holly’s
back. “Holly!” she yelled, happily.
“Olivia! I was so worried!” Holly watched the
boy emerge from the bushes. He was tall and handsome in a
mischievous boyish way, with an innocent face and beautiful eyes.
She smiled, hesitantly, “Who is this?”
“This is Jason,” Olivia said. “He lives over
there.” She pointed to the house on the knoll. She brushed the dirt
off her dress and smiled at Holly, a particular smile that Holly
had rarely seen. It was an effortless smile, filled with teenage
hope.
Holly extended her hand to Jason, “Hi Jason.
I’m Holly.”
Peter and Cruz eyed each other knowingly and
protectively sidled up beside Olivia. Peter bent down and
whispered, “He’s a cutie!”
Olivia blushed.
Jason shook Holly’s hand. “Hi. It’s nice to
meet you.” He said hello to Peter and Cruz.
Jack sized up Jason, letting his eyes rise up
and drop down slowly, with a cautious gaze of protection. “Jason,”
he lifted his chin in a quick nod.
Holly elbowed him in the side and gave him a
look that said,
Ease up
.
“So, Jason,” Jack tried to sound pleasant,
though his heart screamed,
Protect!
“What were you doing
over there?”
“I saw ya’ll come into the parking lot and
wanted to see what was going on,” he said easily, then looked down
and added, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was a private
ceremony.”
“That’s alright,” Holly said and smiled at
Olivia.
“Holly, we were going to take a walk. Is that
okay?” Olivia’s eyes were bright and pleaded for a little teenage
time.
“Um, sure, but stay close by, okay? We’re
going to go back home for brunch pretty soon.” She took Olivia’s
hand and turned her away from Jason. Holly whispered, “Are you sure
you are alright? Do you want me to go with you?”
Olivia shook her head quickly, and her smile
stretched from dimple to dimple.
“Okay, then. Just be careful. Oh, and take my
phone, just in case. Jack’s number is speed dialed into it on
number two.” She pressed the phone into Olivia’s palm which she
noticed was trembling.
“Thanks,” Olivia said, and turned to Jason.
“Ready?” “Sure,” Jason said. He reached out to shake Jack’s hand
again. “Nice to meet you, sir. Don’t worry, we won’t go far.
There’s a cranberry bog I want to show her. It’s right over that
hill.” His tan, thin arm pointed over the crest of the hill.
Jack nodded. The pull in his heart was new to
him. He felt like a father bear protecting his young and wondered
why it was hitting him so strongly. He looked back at the empty
chairs and quickly remembered.
Holly sidled up next to Jack and rested her
body against his. His arm quickly circled her shoulder, pulling her
closer. “It’s okay, Jack. She needs this.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, and kissed her forehead.
“I’m sure she does, but it feels weird. All of a sudden I want to
protect her. I’ve known her all my life. Why now?”
“Because Megan’s gone.” Holly looked up at
Jack and into his caring eyes. “She’s ours now, Jack. We are
supposed to protect her.”
“This is hard, Holly. How do we know he’s not
going to hurt her?”
Holly laughed inwardly. She loved the
paternal nature that was coming out in Jack. “We have to trust our
instincts and Olivia’s.” She draped her arm around his waist.
“She’s a smart girl, Jack. Just look at who she learned from. What
she did before, that was rebellion. What she’s doing now, this is
normal. This is good.”
“I guess,” he said. Jack took her hand and
they made their way back to the other guests.
Olivia followed Jason through the bushes and
over the crest of the hill. She watched his tall thin body move
effortlessly. He was nimble, weaving his way around the prickly
areas and holding branches up for her to walk underneath. The
butterflies were back, and every time he looked at her they tied
her stomach in knots. She was glad for the silence, not sure if her
voice would fail her if she tried to speak.
As they moved further away from the
lighthouse, a wave of guilt passed through Olivia. She stopped,
look behind her, and in the space of a breath was gripped by
teenage confidence.
Mom would understand
.
Jason reached out to help her up the last
step of the hill. He lifted her with ease. Thoughts of her mother
and the others were tossed aside, replaced with the beautiful scene
before her. Thousands of flowering plants covered the water. Little
flowers sprouted up through the thick, lush greenery. Though it was
too early for the actual cranberries to grow, the vegetation was
glorious.
“This is my grandfather’s bog,” Jason said
with pride. Her smile made his heart race.
Wow, she sure is
pretty
. Jason swallowed hard, and looked away to quiet the
stirring in his body.
“Really! That’s so cool!” she said. “Can we
go closer?” Jason took her hand and walked her down the hill. He
felt her hand shaking in his own and wondered if she felt his as
well. He bent down to take off his flip flops. “Take your shoes
off, it’s pretty mushy.”
Olivia bent down and took off her heels,
placing them on the grass beside his sandals.
“We can’t go in, but we can get close,” he
said, and they walked to the edge of the bog.
“My granddad brings in beehives during June
and July. You have to be careful. The bees pollinate the flowers.”
He pointed to an area about three feet to their left. “See! Look
there! See all those bees?”
Olivia squinted, gave a little shriek. “Oh!
Wow!” She instinctively took a step backward. “I hate bees!”
He stepped back with her. “Don’t worry.
They’re so interested in the flowers that they won’t come near
you.” They stood in silence for a few minutes. Jason’s heart beat
so hard he was sure she could hear it. “In a few weeks the
cranberries will grow. The whole place will be red, like a red sea
or something. Then in early fall, granddad harvests them. It’s
really cool.”
Olivia couldn’t quiet the storm that swirled
in her stomach. She put her hand across her belly. “I want to see
them. I’ve seen pictures, but I’ve never seen the real thing.”
“Well, where do you live?” He silently hoped
it was nearby.
Olivia looked away, not sure how to answer
the question. “I live about an hour from here, but I’m moving
closer.”
“When?” Jason asked, unaware of her pain.
“I don’t really know. Soon, I guess.”
Olivia’s mind drifted to her mother. guilt replaced the excitement
in her stomach as she realized that she was happy while her mother
was gone. She couldn’t believe she was actually contemplating the
possible happiness of moving here, while her mother wouldn’t be by
her side. Her legs suddenly felt heavy, and she moved back to the
grass and crouched down, resting on her heels.
Jason turned around. “What’s wrong?” he
asked. “Nothing. I guess I’m just tired.”
Jason felt her change. Her easiness had
turned heavy, her face looked sad. “What’s up, Olivia?” He settled
on the grass beside her, their knees barely touched.
The feel of his skin on hers sent a tingle up
her spine. Olivia wanted to move her knee away from his, feeling
badly for feeling so good, but she couldn’t. She liked the feeling.
She wanted to feel it, to feel happy.
Shit! What am I going to
do. I’m sorry, Mom
.
“I…I heard you,” Jason said tentatively,
“before.”
Olivia looked up at him, her green eyes like
emeralds glistening in the summer sun. “Hm?”
“I heard you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spy
on you. When you were at the lighthouse, i—” he quickly looked down
at his hands, tore a piece of grass from beside him, and began to
rip it into small pieces, “I heard you crying.”
Olivia blushed and turned away. “Why were you
sad?” he asked.
She couldn’t look at him. She wasn’t ready to
talk about her mother.
I’m such a fool. What am I doing here? I
should be
back there thinking only about Mom.
She sat in silence.
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry I
asked,” Jason said quietly.
“No, it’s okay,” she said. Tears pooled in
her eyes.
Jason looked up at her. “What is it? Did I do
something?”
“No, no,” Olivia said, shaking her head as
the tears tumbled down her cheeks.
Jason reached up and wiped them with his
thumb, slow and careful.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here. I’m such a
mess.” Olivia stood to walk back to the lighthouse.
“Wait!” Jason was up on his feet in a second
flat and reached for her arm.
Olivia froze when he touched her. She felt
the heat of his hand all the way to her toes. She covered her eyes,
embarrassed by her tears. “I’m sorry. I just—” She couldn’t stop
her tears which flowed in between her fingers.
“What? What is it Olivia?” Jason asked. “You
can tell me.” He felt bad for Olivia. He wished he could take her
in his arms and hold her, yet he knew he couldn’t. It would have
been too awkward. “Olivia,” he whispered, “you can tell me.” He
bent down and craned his neck to look up under her hands and into
her wet eyes. He smiled.
She wiped her eyes and turned around. She
sunk to her knees in the grass and took a deep breath. Her eyes
drifted up and away from Jason’s face, up toward the clouds. “It’s
my mom.”
“What’s your mom?”
Olivia pointed to the gathering beyond the
lighthouse. Jason quickly thought back to what he had seen earlier,
the way everyone had watched Olivia so intently, how she had cried
continually. Realization dawned abruptly. How could he have been so
stupid?
“Your mom,” he said.
Olivia took a deep breath, hoping with every
fiber of her being to smell lavender and coconut, but instead was
filled with the fresh smells of summer: dune grass, sea water, and
wet sand. She turned to Jason. The rush of tears slowed to a
trickle.
“Yeah,” she whispered.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “My parents are
gone, too.”
Olivia whipped her head toward him, her eyes
opened wide. “They are?” Her heart pounded.
“Yeah, two years ago. That’s why I live with
my granddad.” Jason lifted his eyebrows, as if to say,
I get
it..
.
“I’m so sorry. How?” Olivia turned her body
to face his.
“You may have heard about it. We were on our
way to Virginia Beach for a family reunion. We were driving through
Maryland. It was really foggy. My mom wanted to stop, but my dad
had been driving for like twelve hours and wanted to just get
there.” He looked away.
Olivia watched him swallow. The lump in his
throat moved up and down. His jaw clenched.
“It was like all of a sudden the lights went
out. We were driving through this fog that was pretty thick, but
then suddenly you couldn’t see even the car ahead of you. My dad
said he’d get off at the next exit, but we never got the chance. By
the time we saw the lights ahead of us, it was too late. He slammed
on the brakes, but the tractor trailer behind us couldn’t stop.”
Jason looked away, blinking away fresh tears. “The guy said
afterward that he didn’t see our brake lights until he was almost
right on top of us. Anyway, there was a fifteen-car pile up, and we
were right in the middle.”
“My god, Jason, I’m so sorry. You were with
them? You didn’t get hurt?”
“It’s so weird. When he slammed on the
brakes, the truck came from behind and actually came on top of the
car. It crushed them right away.” Tears streaked his face. “I…I
guess I got into a ball, you know, wrapped my arms around my knees
and ducked my head, like they teach you in school. The truck tires
were on both sides, and I guess I passed out. When I came to in the
hospital, they told me that it was like there was an angel looking
over me. The only part of the car that wasn’t crushed was right
where I was, between the tires.”
“You must have been terrified.”
instinctively, Olivia reached out and covered his hand with
hers.
“I was in shock, I think. They didn’t tell me
about my parents until two days later. I kept asking to see them,
but they kept me pretty sedated, so really I slept most of the
time.” Jason turned away from Olivia, feeling the same sinking
feeling in his gut as he had two days after the accident.
“When my granddad got to the hospital, he
stayed with me. I remember that. Every time I woke up, he was
there, sitting next to my bed. I’d ask him about my parents, and I
guess before he could answer, I’d be asleep again, but when I woke
up, really woke up…he looked like he got ten years older in the
three months since I had seen him. I remember wondering why he
looked so old. Then he told me. He said they died instantly.”
“Oh, Jason, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.
That is just… too much.”
“It’s no different than you, really. Your mom
is gone, too.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t…like that.” Olivia felt
badly for Jason. She stood and stared out at the bog. “She had
cancer. She was really sick, but she didn’t come out and tell me
until near the end.”
“Cancer sucks. It seems like it’s
everywhere,” he said as he walked toward her.
“Yeah. It’s just so unfair, you know? I
didn’t know who my dad was, either, so I’m kinda left alone. For
the first time ever, I think I’m really lonely. I miss her so
much.”