Mended (7 page)

It was nearly eight when Tim finished playing for Kassie. When he was done, she stood up and clapped like crazy, making him blush. He took a deep bow and laughed. Kassie praised him and he invited her to come see him play with the orchestra. She promised to think about it and Tim found himself immensely pleased.

             Tim’s only regret was that in playing for her, he had to rush so that he wasn’t late getting to Natalie’s school. He was very involved with his daughter’s schooling and there was a parent-teacher meeting tonight. After which, he promised he’d take her out for pizza.

*****

By the end of their pleasantries, Tim had pretty much given up on trying to not think about Kassie. What an enigma she was. She was either hot or cold. The woman had threatened to poison his dog, but then kept Griff with her until Tim got home and had apparently fed the dog as well. She treats neighbors like peasants, but turns around and invites them to parties. Today when she had listened to him play, she had been genuinely appreciative and happy. It was like living next door to Sybil!

*****

At seven, Tim left. There was a PTA meeting at Nat’s school and Tim liked to go. He liked to know what was happening in his daughter’s school and also because he got to see Nat. He loved his daughter and any chance he got to spend time with her he took.

The meeting had just broken up but he, Tim, Nora and Bruce spent a little time talking to other parents they knew. Nat took his hand as he stood waiting for Nora and Bruce to finish chatting with the Allen’s. Tim had finished speaking to some of the single moms as he normally did. He had a date with Autumn Berkshire on Friday night.

Autumn was a sexy newly divorced brunette. She wasn’t looking for anything serious and neither was he so they were perfect.

“Daddy, how is the sad lady that lives next door to you?” Natalie asked.

Tim scrutinized his daughter through narrowed eyes,
‘This kid is psychic!’

Nat asked him about Kassie from time to time, never forgetting their exchange from the summer before. Whenever she came to the house, he would catch her watching Kassie, as if working up the courage to say hi. To her credit, Kassie always waved or stopped to speak to Natalie whenever she saw the child.

“Who is this neighbor anyway?” Nora asked as she retrieved the car keys from her purse and gave them to her husband Bruce.

“Kassie Lawton.”

Nora looked at him wide eyed.

“Kassie Lawton?” Natalie shouted, grabbing her father’s arm. “Kassie Lawton!” She screeched jumping up and down, “She told me her name was Kassie but . . . WOW!”

“Uh yeah.” Tim looked at his daughter with a mixture of amusement and concern. “What’s the big deal?”

“She’s the illustrator for the books we used to read to Nat when she was a little girl.” Nora said. “You know that story
‘Brown bird in the big sycamore’
.
Remember? The pictures were always so cute.”

Tim looked at the two of them like they were crazy and Bruce laughed.

“We read a thousand books to this kid when she was little.”

“Daaadddyyyy!” Natalie groaned, rolling her eyes at Tim.

Norah had to laugh too. “You’ll remember when you see them.”

“She was married to Monroe Evans and apparently the guy was a bit of a player, so she left him.” Bruce chimed in.

Tim looked at Bruce with raised eyebrows.

“Bathroom reading, man,” Bruce said with an uncomfortable smirk. “Bathroom reading.”

“Sure.” Tim threw him a look and Nora cracked up.

“Think she’d sign my books?” Natalie asked, totally ignoring the grownup conversation, lost in Natalie land.

“Sure, if she doesn’t eat you first.” He said. The image of Natalie dressed like Gretel skipping up the path to Kassie’s house illuminated by lightening, rain and wind, popped into his head.

Tim looked at Nora and Bruce, “Monroe Evans huh?”

“Yup.” Nora said.

“Wow.”

“They lived in Chicago because that’s where they met and went to college. But once he hit it big, the cheating started. One woman he was cheating with described, in total detail, the color of their bedroom, the sheets on their bed and even the color of the shower tiles in their bathroom.” Bruce recited the information as if he were reading the article to them. “She was heartbroken . . . according to sources that is.”

Tim looked at Bruce disgustedly and Nora laughed.

Bruce shrugged, “What? So I read
Breakin’ Up
magazine
,
is that a crime? 

“I read that she threw every single thing he owned out in the hallway of their apartment building and hired a security guard in case he tried to get back in.” Nora added.

No wonder she was such a bitch when she moved in
, Tim thought.

“Now I feel bad for fighting with her and refusing to take her packages from the mailman the other day.”

“Daddy!” Natalie gasped.

“You were mean to her?” Nora couldn’t remember him being mean to anyone. Tim was really a very sweet guy.

“She frustrates me.” Tim defended. “And it’d be so much easier to take her nastiness if she was ugly.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nora asked putting a hand on her hip. Tim looked at her remembering how much of a feminist she was.

“I mean sometimes ugly makes you mean, it’s a fact.” It wasn’t really and they all knew it. “If her face looked like a foot I could understand her bitterness just a smidge more.” He reasoned with an innocent face, all the while watching Nora’s indignation rise with inner glee.

“That is so sexist!” She shot angrily.

“How is it sexist? You think I hooked up with you because I loved your brain?” He asked. “Nora you were a college hippie who smelled like patchouli, wore sandals . . . with not the best looking feet in the world let me say, and took offense to everything people said to you if it had sexual “undertones”. You didn’t shave anything but your head because you said hair was a token of one’s beauty and you didn’t want to be a sex symbol.”

Nora stared at him in disbelief.

“But you came to our women’s group meetings!” She sputtered.

Tim covered Natalie’s ears.

“I was trying to get in your pants.” He told her. “No offense Bruce.”

“None taken.” Bruce said with a chuckle. He looked on the verge of wetting his own pants. He loved the back and forth that Nora and Tim had, it was often very funny to watch but never got to the point where they were cursing each other out. Bruce knew Tim was just trying to get Nora’s hackles up and that on some level Nora knew it too.

“God, you’re a pig!” Norah threw over her shoulder as she turned and stormed off.

Bruce gave Tim an amused smirk behind Nora’s back and it made Tim snicker a bit. He kissed Natalie’s head.

“Bye sweetie.”

“Bye-Bye Bruce.” She said smiling as he sprinted after his wife.

“Bye mommy.” Natalie called after her mother.

Nora turned giving Tim the evil eye before blowing a kiss to her daughter.

“Bye baby. Have fun with daddy.” Nora called back.

Natalie took Tim’s hand again.

“Think she’d sign
all
of my books.”

“You can take them over and see, but I’m not going with you.” He looked down at his daughter. “You might have a better chance on your own; she only likes me a little.”

They walked out to the parking lot. It, like the lobby, was full of parents standing around chatting. Bruce honked at them as he and Nora drove past.

*****

Kassie stared down at the image she had just sketched, a cluster of almond flowers in bloom. It was the last picture in her book and sketching it had been somewhat cathartic. The other illustrations for her book were stacked in her portfolio, waiting to be dropped off with Rosie in Chicago tomorrow.

This book had been a culmination of dreams for her. For one, she had always wanted to write children’s books. Kassie truly believed that a mind was the easiest to mold, for good, when they were young. She wanted to fill children’s imaginations with the best, most comforting images and thoughts.  Though she had never been given that, she wanted kids to have that. She wanted them to have the escape that she never had.

Second, and most painful, her book was supposed to be a gift to her own child. Kassie sighed wistfully. She was thinking about her lost child more and more lately. The child that she thought would solidify her relationship with Monroe was not to be. When she had miscarried Kassie had thought there was no greater pain, only to be proven wrong by Monroe’s adultery and the end of her marriage.

Kassie was so lost in her thoughts that it took her a few moments to realize that her phone was ringing. Frowning, she answered it without looking first.

“Kassie’s phone.” She answered with forced cheer.

“Hey Kass.” The deep baritone of her ex flowed seductively through the line and Kassie sighed;
‘Speak of the Devil!’
There was a time when that voice filled her with longing and set her heart to fluttering. Now she could barely stand to hear it. She wondered how he got her number and was more than sure it was one of their mutual friends who had given it to him. They had been such an attractive and tight knit couple that there were still many amongst their friends who believed that she and Monroe would get back together someday.

“First, why are you calling me? And second, when you hang up this phone, lose my number.”

“Kassie I just-,”

“Want to annoy me?” She asked. “Make my life miserable because I finally got smart enough to kick you out of it?”

“No Kassie. Come on, you know that we were best friends. I haven’t felt the same without you. I miss you.” He said.

Kassie closed her eyes. They had been really good friends at one time and she missed it a little bit too, but not enough to be his doormat again. 

“You wanted to share your fucking bed with every girl who smiled and showed you her breast! I left so you could
“live your life without some chick holding you back”,
isn’t that what you said?” She asked.

“Kass I understand you’re pissed at me, hell I’m pissed at me, but I don’t want us to not be able to talk again.”

“I’m talking to you right now aren’t I?” She snapped. “So hear this. We will never be best friends again. I will get to a place in myself where I can be around you again without feeling angry and betrayed, but it isn’t now.” Kassie fought for all she was worth to keep from crying.

“I know Kass. I know . . . I just miss you. I miss what we had. I know that I’m the reason it ended but I couldn’t see what I had when I had it. I didn’t realize what I had when I had you. I wanted to be single but I wanted to have you and I know that’s not how it works.” He said. Kassie didn’t say a word; she wasn’t going to say anything. He lost her because of his own pigginess. She wouldn’t correct him. “Listen, I’m ending my engagement. But when I do I was hoping we could see each other, maybe have dinner and talk things over.”

Kassie scoffed at him.
‘Same asshole!’

“Are you insane Monroe?” She asked quietly. “I can’t trust you an ounce. If you think I’m going to go back to your lying cheating ass again-,”

“Kassie-,”

“Our baby!” Kassie said loudly and with such agony that he didn’t speak. “Our baby, that I thought would make our marriage strong again, died while you were out having sex with another woman. Is that what a husband does? If it was me, Monroe, you would have called me every name in the book and kept me just for torture. You would have tortured me with it day and night relentlessly until I left or begged your forgiveness on my knees. I didn’t do that to you, I refused to do that to you. At least I let go.”

“Kassie I’m sorry. God, you’ll never realize how sorry I am.” His voice shook remorsefully and a part of her realized that he had lost the baby too. She wondered if it, maybe, had affected him in any way.

“I want to believe you Monroe. I really do, but it’s too late.” She sniffled. She’d tried not to cry but it was a losing battle, the feelings were still so strong. “I would have taken you back, before the miscarriage, because I loved you that much, or I was just that stupid, who knows. But after losing my baby, something inside me changed, my feelings for you changed . . . Don’t call me again Monroe. Every time I hear your voice all I can think of is excruciating pain.”

She hung up, placing the phone down on her desk quietly. Kassie sat there for God knows how long, staring at the wall with silent tears streaming down her face.

*****

Timothy reached over to close the blinds, freezing in his shoes when he saw Kassie across the way. She sat behind her desk, staring at the wall as if dazed and Tim could have sworn she was crying. From the living room he could hear Natalie and Griff wrestling around. The happy barking and laughter were a striking contrast to the scene of misery before him. She looked so sad that it broke his heart. Now he understood a little better why that sadness had disturbed Natalie so much.