Minus Me (10 page)

‘Shall we dance a bit closer?’ he asks.

‘Alright,’ she says, feeling Oscar’s arms closing about her. His hands are on the small of her back, his chest touching hers. There’s barely any air between their bodies, but there are exciting smells. He’s used a shampoo that smells of summer, but a deodorant, or something, that smells more manly. Perhaps he’s borrowed it from an older brother. Does Oscar have an older brother? She doesn’t even know if he has brothers or sisters. She can feel his heart beating. Can he feel hers? The tip of his nose is near her neck. Can he smell that she’s wearing a bit of her mother’s perfume? They sway to the music. Should she close her eyes? She keeps them open.

‘Is that nice?’ he whispers into her neck.

Linda nods. She feels his hand slide a little lower down her back. She closes her eyes, but behind her eyelids it is Axel she sees. And it’s Axel’s voice that she hears through the music. The voice that says again: ‘I’ve missed you.’ She lets out a sigh.

‘Are you okay?’ Oscar says.

‘Yes, I’m fine.’

He loosens his hold of her a little, so that they’re face-to-face again. He gazes at her. Linda wants to close her eyes. She does. And she moistens her lips carefully with the tip of her tongue.

‘Yoo-hoo! Kissey-kissey-kissey!’ Henrik is suddenly screeching in Linda’s ear.

She opens her eyes in time to see Markus pushing Henrik to the floor.

‘Stupid prat!’ shouts Markus.

The light suddenly goes on, and Linda’s mother appears by the door. Henrik stands up, doing a theatrical limp.

‘I was just . . . er . . . I was just joking,’ Markus mumbles.

‘I see,’ says Linda’s mother looking around. Dad turns off the music, and she turns towards him with angry eyes, clearly blaming him for letting things get out of hand. ‘Well, everybody, it’s half past ten now, and I hope you’ve all had a good time. Some of your parents are already here to pick you up.’

Oscar is still standing next to Linda. She can feel his fingers gently touching her arm. It’s giving her goosebumps.

‘Shall we see each other some day, maybe Sunday?’

‘Sure,’ she answers, without looking at him. Her mouth feels like it’s full of cotton wool.

‘Maybe you can come over to my house? You can have a go on my PlayStation.’

‘Er . . . sure,’ says Linda.

‘I hope you liked the necklace.’

Linda nods.

‘Bye, Linda.’

‘Bye, Oscar.’

Maria stays behind after the others have gone. She clears the paper plates from the table and throws them into a rubbish bag. The paper tablecloth goes the same way. Some of the gold and silver stars that were scattered over the table as decoration float to the floor. Linda bends down and presses the tip of her finger onto one of the little stars so it sticks.

‘Maria.’

‘Yes?’ Maria stops in mid-action and Linda reaches out to her and presses the star gently onto her friend’s cheek.

‘Thanks for being here and helping with the party,’ she says.

‘Don’t be daft,’ says Maria, pushing the tablecloth deeper into the rubbish bag to make more space.

Linda stands watching her. Then she takes out the list, which she’d tucked away on the bookshelf.

Maria takes the piece of paper.

‘Well, you can cross off “Go to parties” now, at least. How about “Kiss”? I saw how close you and Oscar were dancing.’

‘Er, not yet. But we’re going to play on his PlayStation on Sunday.’

‘Well, it’ll probably happen then,’ says Maria. ‘Markus kissed me for the first time when we were alone in his room.’

‘Yeah, sure. But I’ve been thinking about something else. About what you said in the bathroom. About God.’

‘Yes?’

‘About talking to God. I was thinking about going somewhere to talk to God. Tonight.’

‘What do you mean going somewhere to talk to God? I told you God is in your heart,’ says Maria.

‘Yeah, whatever. He might be in yours. But I reckon I need to go somewhere to find him,’ says Linda.

‘A church? You know you’re always welcome to come to our church.’

‘Yes, but I was thinking you might come with me now, tonight.’

‘Where to?’ asks Maria, looking very sceptical.

‘Nidaros Cathedral. Is there a better place to meet God?’

‘But surely it’s not open in the middle of the night?’ Maria protests.

‘No, that’s why we’re going to climb up and get in. I’ve heard it’s possible.’

‘You’re crazy!’ says Maria, shaking her head and continuing to tidy up.

‘Please! It’s my birthday.’

‘No way.’

‘Just think how exciting it’ll be. Like a secret mission. You, me and the full moon. Look, it says on the list that we have to do something exciting,’ says Linda, refusing to give up.

‘But it’s against the law to sneak into a church in the middle of the night. It doesn’t feel right,’ says Maria.

‘Alright. I’ll go on my own!’ Linda says, putting her hands on her hips.

‘But what if you fall and kill yourself?’

‘Would that be such a big deal?’

Maria sighs and shakes her head.

‘Please?’ says Linda.

‘NO.’

‘Please?’

‘Wow! You girls are very good at tidying up!’ says Linda’s mother, beaming and clapping her hands. Linda snatches the list out of Maria’s hand and hides it behind her back.

‘Hmm, what are you two up to?’ says her mother suspiciously.

‘Just teenage stuff,’ says Linda, pulling down one of the balloons and squeezing it till it pops.

‘We can do the rest tomorrow,’ says her mother. ‘You’d better get home now, Maria. Your dad’s waiting for you upstairs in the living room.’

Linda and Maria follow her out into the chilly downstairs hallway. Maria’s father is already coming down the stairs.

Linda grabs Maria by the arm and whispers into her ear.

‘I’m going to the cathedral tonight, with or without you.’

‘Okay. I’ll try to sneak out.’

‘I’ll be there at midnight.’

‘You really are crazy!’ Maria whispers back.

‘I’ll start climbing at a quarter past midnight at the latest. Dad’s got some old climbing gear in his workshop.’

Linda lies under her duvet fully clothed. It’s gone eleven and she’s hoping her parents are too tired to sit up and have ‘grown-up time’. Fridays don’t tend to be a problem; they usually fall asleep in front of the TV at about ten. And tonight they’ve had to stay up for the party. There’s a gentle knock on her door, and Linda pulls the duvet up under her chin.

‘Come in,’ she says.

Her mother walks over, sits on the edge of her bed and strokes her hair.

‘So, were you pleased with your party?’

‘It was perfect. Thanks a million. But can we talk about it in the morning? You must be really tired,’ says Linda, unwilling to get into conversation.

‘It’s your birthday tomorrow,’ says her mother, continuing to stroke her hair.

‘Yes. So it’s important I’m on top form,’ says Linda, brushing her mother’s hand away.

‘You know, when you were born and I saw you for the first time it was . . .’

‘Love at first sight, I know!’ says Linda, rolling her eyes.

‘You think I’m being pathetic?’

‘No.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Well, okay, a bit. It’s just you don’t need to keep fussing over me. Everything’s going to be fine. I feel really fit. Almost as good as before, in fact.’

Her mother leans forward and gives her a kiss.

‘I’ll never, never let you go, Linda,’ she whispers.

‘I said everything will be fine. But I need to sleep now. Night-night, Mum.’

‘But you’ve got your jumper on, Linda. Are you cold?’

‘A bit.’

‘Shall I get you a blanket? I can ask Dad to make you some tea and honey.’

‘Mum, stop fussing. Besides, I’ve already brushed my teeth.’

‘But . . .’

‘Please, Mum.’

‘Okay, okay. Sleep well, then,’ says Linda’s mother, stroking her cheek, and then going over to the door. ‘Have you remembered to recharge your mobile?’

‘There’s loads on the battery. Go to bed, Mum.’

‘You know we need to stay in contact all the time, in case anything happens.’

‘There’s only a thin wall between our rooms, Mum. Night-night. I love you both!’

‘And we love you too; our big, grown-up daughter. Shall I leave the door ajar?’

‘No thanks, Mum. Goodnight for the hundredth time,’ she says with a sigh.

Her mother shuts the door. Linda makes herself comfortable with the pillow under her neck. She checks the time on her mobile and lies there listening to the sounds of her parents preparing for bed.

Chapter 21

The west wall of the Nidaros Cathedral, with its statues of saints, bishops and kings, looms high over Linda. The light of the moon playing hide-and-seek among the clouds makes some of the statues look like they’re moving. Linda thinks their faces look far too lifelike in this light, and her heart begins beating harder in her chest. But she can’t resist staring up at them. Her heart leaps into a gallop when she suddenly sees a figure moving up there among the stone figures. There’s no such thing as ghosts, there’s no such thing as ghosts, she says to herself. She takes out her mobile. No texts. Why has Axel almost stopped texting her completely? It’s five to twelve. She starts to write a text.
Hi Axel! Just five more minutes before I’m a teenage
r
!
She deletes the message until it just says
Hi Axel!
and then tries again:
Guess where I am?
Linda stares down at her message. And even though she’s standing there with her mobile in her hand she jumps when it rings.

‘Hi,’ whispers the voice at the other end. ‘It’s me.’

‘Hi, what happened to you?’ asks Linda, knowing that Maria’s ringing to say that she’s chickening out.

‘I’m not coming, Linda. And I think you ought to go home too. Promise me. Please!’

Maria is whispering down the phone urgently, as though she’s frightened she might be interrupted.

Linda doesn’t answer.

‘Linda?’

‘Bloody hell, Maria!’ says Linda, swearing because she knows her friend hates it. ‘You’re a such a coward!’

‘Linda, stop it. You know I share my bedroom with Anna and she’ll notice if I just go off,’ whispers Maria.

‘But the real reason is that you’re a coward and goody-goody. It might have been better if you were the one who was going to die, seeing as you’re on such great terms with God and stuff. You could just saunter into heaven!’ yells Linda, and as the words tumble out of her mouth, she knows it’s an awful thing to say.

‘You’re being really unfair now, Linda,’ says Maria.

Linda can hear the tears in Maria’s voice.

‘Yes, just cry!’ she sneers, ringing off and stuffing the phone in her pocket. It’s a wonder Maria doesn’t puke at her own goodness.

No sooner has she put it away, than it rings again. She digs it out of her pocket. Surprise, surprise! It’s Maria calling back. Linda feels like chucking the stupid thing at the wall, but satisfies herself with dismissing the incoming call.

‘Let me guess; you’re feeling angry?’

Linda swings round, with the mobile still in her hand. It’s Zak. Of course it’s Zak. Linda’s almost got used to the way he keeps turning up. Nonetheless the hairs go up on the back of her neck.

‘Zak! What are you doing here? Are you spying on me or something?’ she growls, although deep down she’s pleased to have his company.

Zak doesn’t answer. He just takes the mobile gently out of her hand, puts it back in her jacket pocket and zips it up.

‘There you are. Now you won’t lose it on your climbing expedition,’ he says, winking at her.

‘You’ve got no business following me. In fact it all seems a bit psycho to me! And how did you know I was going to climb into the cathedral?’

‘It’s pretty obvious,’ says Zak pointing at the climbing gear that’s poking out of her rucksack.

He bends down and pulls it out.

‘You’re not the first person to think about climbing up the walls of the cathedral and in through one of those little doors up there. And, luckily for you, I know which door isn’t alarmed. Come on,’ says Zak, walking off.

‘Wait a moment!’

Linda digs about in her rucksack and takes out a pair of climbing boots. Zak stops, walks back and looks down at them.

‘They’re too big for you. You’d do better to wear your own shoes. But have you got any carabiners?’ he asks.

‘I don’t know. I just grabbed what I could find.’

‘You don’t know? I have to say, your climbing expedition seems rather ill-planned,’ he says, rummaging about in the rucksack.