Mirror Image (19 page)

" Victoria was staring at him as he spoke, and she looked at him in
total amazement. "Is that like a job I'm supposed to apply for?

Mother to his son, but not wife of his heart? Father, how could you?"

"How could I? How could I? " Edward Henderson spoke in a booming,
terrifying voice to the younger twin. It was a voice neither of them had
ever heard from him in their entire lifetimes. This time their father
was giving the orders. "How dare you ask me that question after
disgracing us, carrying on with a married man in front of all of New
York, and even coming home pregnant with his bastard!

Victoria, how dare you? ! And you will do exactly what I say now,
without an instant's hesitation, or I shall either lock you up in a
nunnery somewhere, or cut you off without a penny."

"Then do." She stood up and shouted at him, much to her sister's horror.
What had their family suddenly come to? "I will not be forced to marry a
man I barely know and don't love, who does not love me, sold into
slavery like a piece of furniture, a thing, an object! You have no right
to dispose of me this way, to make an arrangement with your attorney, to
order him to marry me. Will you pay him for that too? " she asked,
wounded and shocked to her very core. And besides, she didn't even like
Charles Dawson. How could they do this to her?

"I am not paying anyone, Victoria. And he understands the situation very
clearly. Perhaps better than you do. You're in no position to wait for
Prince Charming to come along, or even to stay here with me in Croton,
with your sister. None of us can dare set foot in New York again until
you have set this ghastly situation to rights. It's up to you now to
clean up your mess, and make restitution to us."

"Cut off my hair, cut off my head, lock me up, do what you want.

But you cannot sell me to a man as restitution." To Victoria, of all
people, it was the ultimate outrage. "This is 1913, Father, not 1812.

You cannot do this."

"I can and you will, and that will be the end of it, Victoria.

Or I will frankly disown and disinherit you from this day forward. I
will not allow you to ruin yourself, or Olivia, simply because you are
willful and stubborn. He is a good man, and you're very lucky he is
willing to do this. Frankly, I think if it weren't for the boy, he might
not do it at all, so you'd do well to count your blessings."

"Are you serious? " She stared at him, unable to believe what she was
hearing. And in her chair, next to her, Olivia looked as shocked as she
did, for different reasons. "You will truly disown me if I don't marry
him? "

"I will. I mean this, Victoria. And you will do it.

It's the price !

you must pay for your foolishness, and it's a fair one. You'll live very
comfortably in New York. He's an honest man, with a good career, and a
respectable future. And one day, you will share with Olivia whatever I
have left you. That in itself will give you a great deal more freedom.

Without that, you'll be scrubbing floors in boardinghouses somewhere,
and I mean it. You will do this, for all of us, me, yourself, and your
sister. If nothing else moves you to reason, do it for Olivia.

She'll never be able to show her face in New York again if you don't do
this.

Victoria, you must marry Charles Dawson. It needn't be now, this week.

You can wait a few months, even till spring if you wish, so no one
thinks you were forced into it for .. . er .. . obvious reasons.

But we will announce your engagement immediately after Thanksgiving."
Victoria looked ill as she got out of her chair, and went to stand
looking out the window. "Do you understand me? " he asked, indicating an
end to their conversation.

Victoria didn't turn around when she answered him. "Yes, Father,
perfectly, " she said, hating him almost as much as she hated Toby, and
now Charles. Men were all the same, slave buyers all of them, users of
female flesh. To any of them, a woman meant no more than a chair as far
as she was concerned. And she was surprised to see when she turned
around again that Olivia was crying. She was sure that it was because
they would be separated now, forever. New York wasn't far, but it was
far enough, and they would hardly see each other. She was sure that her
father would never let Olivia come to see her.

"I'm sorry to drag you through this too, " he said more gently to
Olivia, as he patted her shoulder. He was deeply sorry to have upset
her. "But I thought this might need your sensible touch to bring your
sister to reason. I want to make sure she understands she has no choice
here."

"I understand, Father, " Olivia said quietly. "You have everyone's good
in mind here." But it was odd that the cruel blow he had dealt Victoria
was even crueler to her. It was she who was so taken with Charles
Dawson, and Victoria who thought him a bore, and someone not even worth
bothering to talk to. It seemed ironic that their father had wounded
both of them so mortally with the same sword, and without even knowing.

The blind goddess of justice.

"Perhaps you'd both like to go to your room and talk about this for a
while, " he suggested, feeling that they had gone far enough for the
moment. He had made himself clear, and although he knew she hated him
just then, he felt sure that Victoria would do it.

Both girls left the room feeling numb, and dazed as they walked slowly
upstairs to their bedroom, and it was only when the door was closed that
Victoria allowed herself to rage and scream and cry. She couldn't
believe it.

"How can he have done this to me? How can he have gone to New York and
sold me to that little worm? How dare he? "

"He's not a worm." Olivia smiled through her own tears at her.

"He's decent and kind and intelligent. You'll like him."

"Oh stop it! " Victoria spat at her. "You sound just like Father."

"Maybe he's right, maybe you do have no choice in this after all.

Maybe the only thing that will make you respectable again is marrying
Charles Dawson."

"I don't give a fig about being respectable. I'd just as soon get on a
ship tonight and sail to England. I can work there, and join the
Pankhursts."

"Aren't they in jail for the next three years? Or one of them at least,
if I recall what you said about it last summer. And how are you going to
pay for passage on the ship?

I think maybe Father is right, Victoria.

You have no choice here."

"What man would want a wife he got like this? How can he do it? "

"You heard what Father said. He wants a mother for his son." It seemed
odd to Olivia too, and she knew the man, or had spoken to him more than
Victoria had anyway. Maybe he couldn't manage on his own.

It seemed an odd thing to do, but perhaps it was for the best, for them
at least. But it left Olivia with nothing. "Victoria, at least try to
like him, for your own sake." She had never admitted to anyone, not even
her twin, how much she liked Charles, and at least now Victoria had no
idea how overwhelmed Olivia was with her own emotions. And Victoria was
far too sorry for herself all afternoon to even notice how upset Olivia
was, and that night she refused to go down to dinner with their father.

"How is she? " he asked Olivia quietly when she came down alone for
dinner.

"Upset, shocked. She's had a hard time these last few weeks.

She'll get used to it. Give her time." He nodded in answer, and as the
meal drew to a close he patted Olivia's hand and looked at her sadly.

"That will leave just us here. Will you be very lonely? "

"I'll miss her terribly, " she said, as tears filled her eyes again. The
thought of not living with her twin anymore was almost more than she
could bear, and losing Charles forever to her too was the final death
blow to her own girlish dreams. "But I won't leave you, Father, I
promise."

"Perhaps you should one day. Perhaps when all this settles down, after
she marries Charles, we should brave New York again and see if you meet
a handsome prince." He smiled gently at his daughter, and he had no idea
of the pain he had just caused her.

"I don't want a handsome prince, Father. I have you. And I belong here.

There is no one I would want to marry." She said it with absolute
conviction. It seemed sad to him to let her remain an old maid, and yet
there was a selfish side to him that wanted her to stay there with him.

She handled his household so well, and she was such a comfort to him,
far more than Victoria ever would have been. He wondered if this wasn't
for the best then.

"I'll always take care of you. I promise you that too. And one day, this
will all be yours. Henderson Manor will be yours, Olivia.

You can spend the rest of your life here. I'll make it up to Victoria,
but she'll have the house in New York to live in with Charles when I'm
gone.

You won't need it." He had disposed of both of them. It was all
arranged.

She would stay and take care of him for the rest of his life, and
Victoria would have Charles. Olivia wondered which gods she had so
offended that this should happen to her. She had never dreamed of having
Charles, but she never expected him to be served on a platter to her
sister, even more absurd as "punishment" for her transgressions.

"Will you let me go to New York to see her? " Olivia asked, holding her
breath. That would be doubly cruel, losing both of them to each other,
the one she'd never had but dreamed of, and the other she loved so
intensely, and couldn't bear to be away from.

"Of course, my dear, " her father agreed. "I have no desire to keep you
two apart, only to help Victoria clean up the awful mess she's made.

" Listening to him, Olivia wished more than ever that she had been able
to keep Victoria away from Toby. What rubble he had made of their lives
in only moments. "You can visit her whenever you want to, as long as you
don't abandon me completely." He smiled, and she put her arms around
him, as her tears rolled silently down her cheeks and onto his shoulder.

She had nothing left to wish for now, to want, or to dream of.

She would always be his now. And to Olivia, it felt as though her life
were over.

Chapter 8.

Charles and Geoffrey Dawson arrived in Croton-on-Hudson on a bright
autumn day in late November. It was crisp and cold, there were fires
burning somewhere, and there was the smell of winter in the air.

And just before they'd arrived, the cook had slaughtered the turkey.

It was the day before Thanksgiving.

Their father had gone into Tarrytown on an errand, and Victoria had gone
for a ride on her own, as she had been doing for days. It seemed as
though no one was at home, as they drove up, and Olivia happened to see
them as she glanced out a kitchen window. She wiped her hands on her
apron, and ran quickly out to them, without putting her coat on, and
without even thinking, she wanted to put her arms around Charles and
kiss him, she was so happy to see him. She wondered if perhaps she could
do that one day, when they were brother and sister. It was a very odd
feeling. Instead, she smiled at him, shook his hand, and told him how
pleased she was they had come, and then looked down at Geoffrey.

And as she did, she felt something in her heart catch. It was as though
he had already been a part of her life somewhere and she knew him. She
felt as though it was meant to be, as she bent down slightly and shook
his hand with great solemnity.

"Hello, Geoffrey. I'm Olivia. Victoria's sister." But as she glanced at
Charles, she could see quickly that he had not yet told him. He wanted
to speak to Victoria first, and see if they could really do this.

"Victoria and I are twins, " she explained, and she could see instantly
that he was fascinated by what she had told him. "We look exactly alike,
and I'll bet you won't be able to tell us apart when you meet her."

"Bet I can, " he said bravely, all blonde hair and green eyes full of
fun and mischief. He looked a lot like Charles, but there was someone
else there too, and Olivia could only guess that it was Susan.

The odd thing was that it was almost as if she felt her close to her, as
she watched them, as though she had become their guardian angel, and was
a peaceful spirit. It was an odd sensation she wouldn't have dared
explain to anyone, perhaps not even her sister.

"I'll tell you a secret about us one day, if we get to be good friends,
about how you can tell us apart for sure, " she said conspiratorially as
she led him through the back door into the kitchen, for some freshly
baked cookies.

"I could have used that secret while you were in New York, " Charles
laughed at her. "Why didn't you tell me? "

"We've never told anyone, but Geoffrey's special, " she said, looking
down at the boy, and resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. She wasn't
even sure what had made her do it. But she felt oddly close to him, as
though he had come to her for a reason. Perhaps he was her consolation
pare, the child who would light up her soul, since now she would never
have one. By the time her father died, it would be too late for her to
marry and have children. In a single week, she had lost both her sister,
and her future. She had thought of staying here with him before, but
that had only been idle talk, now it was certain.

"No one else knows? " The boy looked genuinely intrigued and somewhat
honored.

"Bertie does, " Olivia explained, and then introduced them as Mrs.
Peabody walked through the kitchen. She was very pleased to meet Charles
Dawson. And a few minutes later, she took them to their rooms, and
unpacked their things for them. It was half an hour later when Charles
wandered down again alone. Geoffrey was helping Bertie. "He's a
wonderful little boy, " Olivia said with a warm smile, and Charles stood
there for a long moment, without saying anything to her, just looking at
her, and then he turned away and looked sadly out the window.

It was difficult to know what he was thinking. "He's a lot like his
mother, " Charles said quietly and then turned to Olivia again. "How
have you been since you left New York? " He looked as though he really
cared when he asked her, which only hurt more, and she wished the others
would hurry and join them.

"Fine. We've been busy here." She didn't mention that Victoria had been
ill, and wondered if he knew it.

"Keeping your sister out of jail these days? " he asked and they both
laughed as Victoria strode into the room in her riding clothes, with
muddy boots and her hair flying around her head like a dark hale Lo.

"I don't find that comment amusing, " she said, looking at both of them.

"Charles is here, " Olivia said somewhat nervously, as Victoria looked
at her in disgust.

"I can see that. I don't find that story about the demonstration in New
York funny anymore, " she informed them both, and Charles and Olivia
exchanged a glance like two naughty children that had been scolded.

"I'm sorry, Victoria, " he said kindly, and went to shake her hand.

"How was your ride? " He was obviously making a sincere effort to get to
know her, but her answer was curt and cool, before she went upstairs to
change for dinner. "She doesn't seem very happy these days, " Charles
said bluntly after she left the room. It was an understatement that
almost made Olivia laugh at the simplicity of it.

"I suppose you could say that. She's had rather a hard time since we
left New York so quickly." She wasn't sure how much he knew, and she
didn't want to be the one to tell him. "She's been ill recently too.

" She tried valiantly to make excuses for her sister.

"I suppose none of this is easy for her, " he said openly, which
surprised Olivia. "It's a bit of a shock for me too, " he explained
candidly, "but I think it will be good for Geoffrey."

"Is that why you're doing it? " She wanted to ask him if it was the only
reason, but she didn't dare. She hardly knew him.

"I can't bring up a child properly without a mother, " he said, looking
restlessly around the room as he said it.

"My father did, " she said quietly and Charles laughed.

"Are you telling me not to marry your sister? " She wished she had the
courage to do that.

"No." Olivia smiled at him. "I'm just saying there should be other
reasons."

"I'm sure there will be when we get to know each other better.

The two nodded at each other, and they could hear voices on the stairs.

It was Victoria coming downstairs with Geoffrey.

"You look just like her, " he was saying, fascinated by the darkhaired
girl, coming down the stairs just behind him.

"I know I do. And what's your name? "

"Geoffrey, " he supplied, without a hint of shyness.

"How old are you? " She sounded as though she didn't really care, and he
knew it. He had an instinct about those things, and he suddenly wondered
if she and Olivia were actually quite different.

"Nine." He answered her question, as they reached the bottom of the
stairs, but she made no move to shake his hand or touch him.

"Are you short for your age? " She was surprised that he wasn't older.

"No, tall, " he explained patiently.

"I don't know very much about children."

"Olivia does. I like her."

"So do I." The younger twin smiled as they walked into the library
together, and she walked to Olivia's side and stood there, and suddenly
the resemblance was beyond remarkable. They looked like two copies of
the same person. Their hair, their eyes, their mouths, the way they wore
their dresses, their shoes, their hands, their smiles. Geoffrey narrowed
his eyes and stared at them both for a long time, and then he shook his
head much to everyone's amazement.

"I don't think you look the same at all, " he said seriously and all of
the adults present laughed, including his father.

"I'm taking him to get glasses on Monday, " he said, while the twins
chuckled. But Geoffrey was insistent.

"They don't, Daddy. Look at them." .

"I have. Several times. And I never fail to make a fool of myself every
single time. If you can tell them apart, I congratulate you. I can't do
it." Except that in an odd way he could too, at times, and he knew it.

Not always, but sometimes. They affected him differently, if he let
them. But if he just looked at them, without thinking about it, or
"feeling" them, then he couldn't tell the difference. It was that
quality that Geoffrey was referring to. It was something visceral and
sexual for Charles, at least some of the time. But for Geoffrey, it was
far more simple. He just knew them.

"That's Olivia, " he said, pointing at the right one without hesitating,
"and Victoria, " he was correct again. And then they switched places,
and he guessed again, and he was right again. And then Olivia teased him
by dancing around holding Victoria's hands, and he got confused and was
wrong. But the next time he got it right again, and all of them were
startled, even Victoria who always insisted she hated children.

Olivia had already suggested she not mention that this evening.

"Why not? Maybe he won't marry me, " she had said, looking wicked.

"And then Father will send you to a nunnery in Sibexa, or marry you to a
fisherman in Alaska. Please, Victoria, " she had begged, "don't offend
them."

"All right, all right, I won't, " she had agreed. And she didn't.

She said almost nothing at all, even once their father came home, and
when the four of them sat at dinner. It was Olivia and Charles who
carried most of the conversation.

"why don't you marry him? " Victoria said later that night when they
went to bed. "You don't seem to have any trouble talking to him."

"I don't have a reputation to regain, and Father wants me to run his
house, " she said bluntly. He had made his position perfectly clear to
both of them, of precisely what he expected, and Olivia marrying Charles
was not part of the bargain, no matter how easy their conversations.

"Geoffrey is adorable, isn't he? " Olivia said, as they lay side by side
in bed, in matching nightgowns.

"I don't know. I didn't really notice. Children don't interest me, you
know that."

"He's fascinated by us, " Olivia smiled, remembering him trying to
identify them, and most of the time he had done it correctly.

Just as Olivia felt she had an unspoken bond with him, he seemed to feel
the same for her, or perhaps for both of them. He seemed to like
Victoria too, although she hadn't paid much attention to him.

Geoffrey had eaten in the breakfast room with Bertie that night, and she
was enchanted to have a child in the house again, as was their father.

He took him on a long walk the next day, before lunch, and Olivia
eventually joined them. She had seen Victoria go outside with Charles,
and she didn't want to interrupt them. They had a lot to say to each
other now, and she hoped that her sister would make her peace with it,
and wouldn't offend him. If she did, and he refused to marry her, their
father would be even more upset than he was at the moment.

"It's a bit unusual, all this, isn't it? " Charles asked, as they walked
slowly through the formal gardens. "I don't quite know what to say to
you. I was a little startled when your father spoke to me. But actually,
I like the idea. It makes a great deal of sense to me, with Geoffrey."

"Is that the only reason you're doing it? " Victoria asked him bluntly.

She couldn't imagine why a man would want a wife who didn't love him.

"Mostly, " he said honestly. "It's not fair to him for me to be alone
like this. Your sister even said as much to me when you were in New
York, and she didn't even know us.

"I was very much in love with his mother, " he said, obviously in pain
when he said it. "There will never be anyone like her. We knew each
other when we were very young. She was a bit wild, and very fey.