Moment of Weakness (Embracing Moments Book 1) (14 page)

“You see, when I turned around and saw you—” He took another step, and this time, when I stepped back, my back hit the side of my car door. “Just looking at you”—Roman’s left hand landed on the curve of my hip and his forehead fell against mine—“had me breathless.”

I stopped breathing. And if it wasn’t for my car door holding me up, my knees would have hit the concrete. Eyes cast downward, I tried to catch my breath. Roman’s right hand glided down my cheek leaving a trail of shivers in their wake. He lifted my chin, and his eyes locked with mine.

“I don’t think there are words that could ever express just how damn beautiful you are.”

My mouth fell open, and before I could say anything, his lips were on mine. They were soft and warm, and our mouths moved together as though they were created just for that purpose. All night, I wanted this. I wanted to know what it felt like to have his lips pressing against my own. The realization that it was now happening had a small moan parting my lips. Roman took full advantage of the opening, gliding his tongue across the broken barrier, caressing every inch of my mouth. As our tongues swirled together, the taste of cotton candy tickled my taste buds.

My hands rested on his chest, and I wasn’t sure whose heart was beating faster, mine or his. My fingers trailed down his gray shirt, taking in the hard-defined muscle that lay beneath it. As our kiss grew deeper, everything around us dissipated; the only thing my mind could focus on was the way he was touching me. The hand resting on my hip slid under the hem of my blouse. The tips of his fingers grazed my skin, and the small achy feeling between my legs was building. This was the closest our bodies had ever been, and yet it still didn’t seem close enough. I needed him closer.

My fingers hooked around his belt loops, and I tugged his hips into mine, eliminating what remained of the small space between us. Roman released a low groan from the back of his throat. The hand resting on my cheek and tangled in my hair descended, brushing past my breast, gliding over the curve of my backside and then landing on my thigh. The heat of his palm was like fire on my skin.

A breathy moan parted my lips, and I lifted my leg, curling it around Roman’s waist. His hard length pressed against me, and the friction it was causing had the achy spot between my legs throbbing. He moved his hand from my hip down to my ass, and if that wasn’t enough sweet torture, he gripped it and rocked his hips forward. My eyes rolled to the back of their sockets at the feel of his arousal rubbing against me. It had been so long since I was this close to anyone. My body wanted this—craved it.

Roman’s mouth moved from my lips, across my jaw, and stopped at my neck. His warm tongue glided across my skin, igniting the tiny spark inside me.

“Roman,” I gasped.

Every muscle in Roman’s body locked tight. His mouth left my neck, and his hands moved to unhook my leg from his waist, placing me back down on unsteady feet. As I gazed up at him, my eyes searched his, looking for any indication as to why he had stopped.

With his eyebrows pinched together, he stepped back. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” His thumb swiped across his bottom lip wiping away any evidence of our kiss. “I need to go.”

My chest tightened, and my lungs felt constricted, like they no longer had room to breathe. Realization set in the longer I looked at him. He was regretting this. Why was he regretting this? Groaning, he ran his hands down his face and then turned to leave.

Please don’t go, Roman. Not like this.

I wanted to tell him not to go, to stay, and talk to me, but the words got lost somewhere in my throat. All I could do was stand there and watch him walk away from me.

“WE TOTALLY NEED
to have a party for you!” Lacey squealed as we walked across the hot concrete patio to the pool. The case she had been working on with her father had been reassigned to a new judge, pushing the court date until fall. By then, she would be back in school, so her father removed her from the case and assigned her to basic bookkeeping around the office. She seemed fine with that, and well, I was thrilled, because it meant I could finally spend some time with her.

“I don’t think so, Lace. Not that I don’t appreciate it, but your parties are—”

“Crazy? I know.” A devilish grin spread across her face. “But we need to celebrate. You’re turning twenty-one!”

As if I needed a reminder. My birthday was two weeks away, a week after Mom’s death. It wasn’t something I looked forward to.

I shrugged my shoulder. “Maybe we can go out? Just the two of us.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Oh, I know! Shane has a few connections with some of the bars outside of town. I heard some of them are really awesome.” She tossed her towel down on the poolside lounger and adjusted the strings of her forest green bikini. “I bet he can even get us drinks on the house.” Excitement poured from her voice.

“I was thinking more along the lines of dinner and a movie?”

Her nose wrinkled, and her head flinched back. “What are we in middle school? Live a little, Jules. Besides, before we know it, summer will be over, and we’ll be back at school.”

She had a point. My decision wavered as her big gray eyes pleaded with me.

“Fine,” I said, sitting down on the lounger and grabbing my sunscreen bottle. I popped the lid open and squeezed a generous amount of the coconut-smelling lotion into the palm of my hand.

“Yay!” She clapped her hands in front of her face. “I know you mentioned you wanted it to be just me and you, but would you mind if Shane and his friend joined us? He’s been asking about you.”

“Who?” I eyed her quizzically. That was a stupid question. I never met his friend so that left only one other person.

“Shane. He asked me for your number and I refused. Told him if he wanted it that bad he needed to ask you himself.”

I didn’t say anything. Shane seemed nice enough, and he was definitely nice to look at, but he was Lacey’s cousin. No good could come of it.

“I appreciate it. It’s not that he doesn’t seem nice. I just don’t know that I’m ready to jump into anything right now.” I smeared the lotion onto my arms. God, did I feel like a hypocrite. Here I was, telling her I wasn’t ready to jump into anything, yet I had no problem jumping all over Roman Saturday night.

“I get that. I mean, I’m sure we can still get free drinks. I just figured—”

“You’re right,” I said cutting her off. “Invite them. The more, the merrier.”

She flashed me a grin. “Okay. We’ll have fun. I promise!”

I nodded at her. There was not a doubt in my mind that Lacey didn’t know how to have a good time. It was just in a small faraway part of my brain, I knew Roman would be there, and that thought alone had me anxious.

Lacey dove into the pool, pushing her hair out her face as she came up, backpedaling toward the ledge. “Where is the walking sex God?”

I walked over to the edge of the pool and placed my feet into the cool water. “Walking sex God? You mean Roman?”

“Yeah, I was hoping I could ask him to help me apply my lotion.”

She was crazy. I shook my head and laughed. “I haven’t seen him since Saturday night.”

And I hadn’t. Not since he kissed me and then walked away full of regret. I could name several reasons why our kiss was wrong, but I didn’t regret it. Not for one second. If walking away from me wasn’t bad enough, avoiding me altogether was even worse. And that’s exactly what he was doing. I knew I would not see him Sunday morning because I don’t run Sunday mornings. I always spend Sunday mornings eating breakfast with my father and Theo. After breakfast and showering, I came downstairs. My father had called me into the living room. Next to him stood a man in a dark navy blue dress suit, a close match to Roman’s. He was tall, old, and balding. Everything Roman should have been.

“This is Alfred. He is your new temporary security guard.” I clamped my mouth shut to prevent my jaw from hitting the floor. Was our kiss that bad he needed to quit his job?

“What happened to Roman?” I asked, my stomach clenching as I said his name.

“He came to me after breakfast this morning and asked for a few days off. He’ll be back before I leave Friday evening.”

Relief washed over me at the fact he would return, but knowing why he left to begin with stung. Rather than acting like an adult about the whole situation, he was avoiding me, and I didn’t know if I should be mad or hurt.

By Tuesday morning, I convinced myself I wasn’t hurt. I was pissed that he left me standing there and then had the nerve to ask for time off. All because of a kiss
he
was regretting. A kiss
he
initiated. I passed up my morning runs. Even if Alfred could keep up, he looked like someone who belonged in a nursing home, and the thought of him having a heart attack petrified me.

After yoga on Wednesday, Lacey and I grabbed lattes. Alfred kept his distance, more so than Roman, which I appreciated. Lacey didn’t ask about Roman so I didn’t explain. She informed me about not needing to spend so much time at the law firm, and we made plans for her to come over and swim on Thursday.

So here we were, Thursday afternoon, swimming, and soaking up the hot summer sun. My father was working. Alfred was somewhere, most likely sleeping, which I’ve caught him doing more so than not, and Roman was nowhere in sight. Moving from the pool back over to the lounger, I lay back and closed my eyes.

“I can’t believe tomorrow is Friday already. How are you holding up?”

I threw my arm up over my head. “Fine, I guess.”

I chalked myself up to be the world’s worst liar, because she didn’t seem convinced. “You know I’m here if you need me, right?”

I nodded. “I know.”

Lacey was one of the few people who knew about my mom; it was her father after all who had recommended the private investigator that came around for weeks afterward. I had no idea who he was at the time, and my father hadn’t told me what caused my mother’s death until I was older. I guess he thought if I was older I’d understand more, but that was so far from being the truth. Almost thirteen years have passed, and I still didn’t understand.

Turning around so my head was down by the pool, I flipped onto my stomach. Lacey waded through the water until she reached the steps. She stopped in her tracks, running her hands up through her straggly wet curls.

“Speaking of walking sex God, here he comes.”

My breath caught in my throat. What did she say? Roman wasn’t supposed to be back until Friday evening.

“Why, hello there. It’s Roman, right?” I didn’t have to see her face to know Lacey was giving him her supermodel smile; I heard it in the sound of her voice. I scrambled in the lounger trying to sit up, my heart beating uncontrollably.

“That’s right,” I heard him say, my heart skipping a beat at the familiar deep voice. I was halfway off the lounger, getting ready to stand when I felt myself going down. My uneven weight shift had caused it to tip. Oh man, this was going to hurt. My rear hit the hard concrete patio, followed by the thud of the lounger.

The sound caught their attention. “Oh my gosh, Jules! Are you okay?” Lacey ran over, Roman two steps behind her. I remained on the ground, too humiliated to get up. This seriously couldn’t be happening right now.

Roman knelt down in front of me, his hand held out, waiting for me to grab it. “I’m fine,” I said, waving it away. He grabbed my hand anyway, bringing me to my feet.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice stiff. My hand was still in his, and I quickly pulled it away.

“Yes.” I swallowed, refraining from rubbing my throbbing ass cheek. I looked out at the pool, trying to avoid eye contact with him. “I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow.”

“I was done doing what I needed to, so I came back.”

“Oh, you mean done avoiding me?” I spat. Oh wow. I totally just said that. I was thinking it, but I never meant to verbalize it. Not now, not in front of Lacey. I hadn’t told her anything about Roman, and the way she was eying me meant she would drill me with questions as soon as we were alone.

Roman sighed. “I’ve got to go. You know how to reach me if you need me.” He turned and walked away.

Walk away, Roman. It’s what you’re good at.

Lacey grabbed her towel and dried off. “Do you want to tell me what that was about?”

No, not really.
“It was nothing,” I said, turning the lounger back on its feet.

“I know you, Jules. That was most definitely
something.
” It was times like these when I hated that she knew me so well. “You can talk to me, you know.”

I blew out a breath and turned to face her, my eyes scanning around, making sure nobody else was around. “We kissed, Lace.”

Her smoky gray eyes widened. “Who?”

“Roman and I. Saturday night we had gone out to Krazy Kart, and when we got back, we kissed.”

Her mouth shot open and her eyebrows crawled up her forehead. “You what?!” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “I thought you said there would be no licking?”

“There wasn’t any licking,” I huffed. “It was just a kiss.”

She didn’t look like she believed me. She tilted her head to the side and stared at me. What the heck was with this girl and licking?