More Than Miles (A Lost Kings MC Novel) (37 page)

Childish handwriting. Then more mature, neat, cursive writing spells out dozens of different variations of “Mrs. Blake O’Callaghan,” “Heidi O’Callaghan,” and “Heidi Whelan-O’Callaghan” all over the outside cover. More signatures are scrawled over the inside cover. “Mrs. Murphy O’Callaghan” surrounded by a bunch of doodled shamrocks is probably my favorite.

It’s the sweetest, most painful thing I’ve ever seen, because now she’s Mrs. Ryan.

I consider going up to Alaska and dragging her home. But I’m not sure what that will accomplish.

I know she
thinks
she’s doing the right thing for her daughter.

I still miss her as much as the day she left. Although having her here with
him
hurt, at least I was able to see her every day.

The clubhouse feels empty without Alexa’s four a.m. squeals. And there’s no glimpse of Heidi’s shiny brown ponytail when I hit the dining room in the morning.

I’ve been such a moody prick, everyone pretty much steers clear of me.

Everyone except Marcel, who can’t seem to let me suffer in peace.

On my way out of Hope’s room, he stops me. “What’re you doing?”

“Nothing. Checking on some stuff.”

He levels one of his challenging looks at me. “Come on, Blake. I know—I understand how you feel about—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I snap, cutting him off and then completely contradicting myself when I ask, “Have you heard from her?”

“Yeah, she texts me every day.”

“Is she okay?”

“I guess. Hard to tell, you know?”

I grunt and try to sidestep him, but he blocks my path.

“Come out for a ride with us.”

“No, thanks. It’s forty-five fucking degrees out.”

“Yeah, but the roads are clear. Come on. I’m taking Mariella out on the bike.”

“Really? She wants to go?”

“She asked.”

That cheers me up a bit. Mariella’s sweet and she’s been a big help around the clubhouse, but she’s also terrified to ever leave the property. Marcel’s been trying to coax her into a ride for a while now.

“You guys have fun. Be careful with her.”

“You know it.” He gives me a slap on the shoulder and heads downstairs.

A few hours later, I regret not going with them.

Some roads can’t be found without getting lost.

M
y phone vibrating across the nightstand wakes me up. “Who the fuck is calling at six in the morning?” I grumble as I roll over and grab my phone.

Hope.

“Hi, Hope.”

“Heidi?” Her anxious voice pushes the last bits of sleepiness from my system, and I bolt upright.

“What’s wrong?”

“Honey, there was an accident—”

“Who? Is Marcel okay—”

“He’s in the hospital.” She’s sobbing so much I can’t make out her words.

“Hope?”

“Mariella didn’t…it’s bad, Heidi. He woke up a little while ago and asked for you.”

“Hope, what happened?”

“He was on his bike.”

Please tell me Murphy’s okay.
“Was he alone?”

“No. Mariella was with him.”

“Is she okay?”

“No, Heidi. She’s not.”

“Oh my God,” I whisper. “Marcel?”

“They’re administering steroids now and then they’re sending him for a CT.”

Spinal injury.
“What about an MRI?”

“I don’t know,” she answers through sniffles. “He may have to go in for surgery.”

“Give me a couple hours. I’ll see if Axel can get off the ship. I’ll call you when I have my flight information, okay?”

“I’ll see you soon.”

Sick, I race into the bathroom and wretch until tears stream down my cheeks. Mariella. My brother. What if he’s paralyzed? Oh my God, what if—

Freak-outs and what-ifs will have to wait until I’m on the ten-hour flight home. I pull myself off the floor and dial Axel’s cell phone. He’s not supposed to have it on him when he’s on shift, so I’m not surprised he doesn’t answer.

It takes me a few minutes to find the number for the ship phone. Even then, I can’t reach him.

“I’ll give him the message, miss, and have him call you back.”

“Please, it’s a family emergency.”

I’m a wreck waiting for him to call me back. I want to book my flight, but I’m not sure how long it will take Axel to come home. Maybe I should book mine and Alexa’s first?

Finally, he calls me back.

“Heidi? What’s wrong? Is Alexa okay?”

“Yes, she’s fine. My brother was in an accident. It’s bad.”

“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry, baby. Was he by himself?”

I choke on a sob and have to repeat myself a couple times before I force the words out. “No. Mariella. Mariella was with him.”

“She okay?”

“I don’t think so. Hope wasn’t very clear. I’ll find out more when I get there.”

“You’re going home?”

“Yes! I have to.” How is it even a question?

“Why? He’s got his club. He’s got plenty of women willing to take care of him. He doesn’t need you.”

“Are you serious right now? Do you actually hear the words coming out of your mouth?” I practically scream into the phone. “He’s my
brother
. He’s in critical condition. If something happens and I don’t get to see him—” The thought of it makes me choke on a sob.

“Calm down. Wait until I get back and I’ll go with you. I don’t want you and the baby traveling alone.”

Why not? We’re alone all the time anyway. “Can you come home now?” I ask, trying to compose myself.

“No. I’ll be home at the end of the week.”

Fuck. That.
“Axel, I can’t wait. I won’t. When you’re done with your shift, fly down and meet us.”

His groan travels through loud and clear. “We don’t have the money for all these flights back and forth to New York, Heidi.”

No,
we
don’t. “I have money from my brother. I’ll use that for our tickets and I’ll move some into our joint account so you can buy your ticket.”

Axel doesn’t respond. The silence goes on for so long, I’m afraid he hung up on me.

“Yeah, okay,” he finally answers.

I make the travel arrangements and actually manage to find a flight out tonight. My next call is to Hope, who promises to pick me up at the airport.

“How is he?”

“No change.”

“Is he breathing on his own?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. That’s good.” My mind’s spinning with the possibilities. My limited medical knowledge isn’t helping. Not surprising since I’m flying through the apartment packing random things. I can’t think straight.

“I’ll text you when I get to the airport.”

“Okay, I can’t wait to see the three of you.”

“Uh, it’s just me, Hope. Axel can’t get away for another week.”

She falters. “Oh, sure. Will you be all right traveling alone with the baby?”

“I’ll have to be.” It’s pretty much me and Alexa on our own. Even when Axel’s home, he doesn’t seem to know what to do with her. I don’t say any of that to Hope.

Next, I stop at Penny’s. She’s more than happy to give us a ride to the airport and sends me off with a big hug.

I’m a wreck the whole flight, praying I get there in time.

“Murphy? Where’s Hope?”

First his eyes widen, then his forehead wrinkles as he takes me in. I didn’t exactly dress up for the ten-hour flight, so I’m sure I look like hell. Great.

Alexa thankfully slept for most of the flight, but she’s been cranky since she woke up. She lets loose with a howl as soon as I stop the stroller.

Murphy immediately picks her up, rocking and talking to her. “Oh, shit. She’s gotten so big, Heidi.”

He’s so sweet with her, so excited to see her, that I feel awful. My daughter should be growing up around family, not up in Alaska where we have no ties to anyone.

After a few minutes, she seems to remember him and pulls on his beard. “Good grip, kid.” He laughs and makes a silly face, which encourages her to smack him a few times.

“How’s Marcel?” I ask.

His eyes meet mine, but they’re unreadable. “Stable. I’ll tell you more on the way. It’s hard to explain.”

I don’t know what to make of that. But he’s stable, so I’m able to relax a notch.

“Come here, kid,” he says, giving me a brief, one-armed hug. “How are you?”

“Anxious.”

“Let’s go.” Murphy holds my baby with one arm and pushes the stroller ahead with the other, all while talking all sorts of baby nonsense to her. I enjoy having my arms free for the first time in what feels like forever.

At the luggage carousel, we stop and Murphy tucks Alexa back into the stroller.

There’s no luggage yet and I’m not sure what to say to him.

Murphy’s fingers skim over the ends of my hair. “Your hair’s gotten so long.”

I shrug, a little self-conscious about how sloppy I probably look. “I haven’t had time to get it cut or anything.” No time. No money. No will. No one cares about their appearance in Alaska. Hell, it’s dark most of the time.

“It’s nice,” he says before looking away.

I don’t have to point my bag out to him. He spots the hulking red suitcase and effortlessly snags it off the carousel.

“I can push her,” I offer, reaching for the stroller.

“Okay. Give me this, though,” he says, slipping my carry-on, bursting with baby gear, off my shoulder.

I’m too tired to argue, so Alexa and I follow him out to his truck.

“So, why are you here instead of Hope?” Heidi asks when we’re settled in the truck.

“She had to go down to the hospital.”

Heidi’s terrified face almost makes me feel bad for lying to her. “Is Marcel okay?”

“Yeah. He’ll be happy to see you two. Every time he’s woken up, he’s asked about you.”

The truth is, when Hope let it slip she was picking Heidi and Alexa up at the airport, I begged her to let me do it instead.

Beg is probably exaggerating. Hope didn’t need a whole lot of convincing.

I didn’t ask why Axel let her and the baby fly alone. Honestly, I’m not all that surprised.

No, I won’t be an asshole and do something inappropriate. I get that she’s married now, even if I think her husband is a piece of shit for letting her travel by herself at a time like this. But after what happened, after my best friend almost
died
, after Mariella did die, I
need
to see Heidi. I need to be near her for a few fucking seconds. Reassure myself she’s okay.