More Than Miles (A Lost Kings MC Novel) (32 page)

I’ll have to get over it.

Seeing Murphy again hurt. I feel like I’ve lost one of my best friends. I can never give him what he wants, so pushing him away is for the best.

“Is everything okay?” Hope asks after he leaves.

“Yes. It was nice of him to come visit.”

The hospital social worker speed walks into my room. I spoke to her yesterday. Apparently, my age makes me a high-risk mother or something. On top of that, Alexa came earlier than expected, so they’re concerned about making sure I have enough people to support me when I leave.

“Hi, Heidi. How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

She leans over the bed, checking on Alexa. “She looks great. Very healthy baby girl.”

“I did everything the doctor told me to.” I’ve gotten a little defensive about everyone acting like I’m a moron because I’m only eighteen.

“Are you grandma?” she asks Hope, who scowls at the question.

“No, this is my aunt. Hope.”

“Well, you’re getting discharged tomorrow. What’s your plan?”

Fear spreads through my chest. I don’t know if I can do this. My lower lip trembles. “I’m scared to be alone with her. What if I screw something up?”

Nervous laughter bubbles out of Hope. “You’re not going to screw up, Heidi.”

The social worker doesn’t seem to agree. “It would be better if she had some family to either stay with her or that she could stay with, until she feels more comfortable.”

“My
husband
and I can handle it,” I protest.

Hope taps her fingers against the bedside table. “Rock and I talked about it earlier. Maybe you, Axel, and the baby should come up and stay at the clubhouse for a couple of weeks. That way there will be people to help you out in the beginning.”

“Really? The guys would let me do that?”

“Well, Rock will bring it up today and see how they feel. You can stay in our old room, so it will be more private. I’ll go up today and clear some of my junk out of your way.”

Tears start rolling down my cheeks. “I don’t know what to say, Hope. I can’t… I’d feel much better.”

“Good.” She whips out her cell phone and taps out a text. “I’m letting Rock know.”

The social worker seems confused but relieved that I won’t be going home alone.

“Sounds good.” She makes some notes on her folder and nods at me. “I’ll check back with you tomorrow before you leave.” She hurries out as Axel steps back into the room.

“Your brother had to go back to the clubhouse,” Axel says to me.

“They’re having a meeting,” Hope says. She raises an eyebrow. “You can explain it to Axel.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. “I’m heading home.”

“Thank you for everything, Hope.”

After she leaves, Axel pins me with a hard stare. “Explain what to me?”

“Hope offered us their old room at the clubhouse for a few weeks after I get out of the hospital.”

His face twists in anger. “Fuck that. You did that behind my back?”

Axel’s shifts from happy-about-the-baby to stressed-out got a lot worse toward the end of my pregnancy. So his outburst barely registers. “No,” I answer calmly. “The social worker was in here pestering me again about not going home alone. So, Hope offered.”

“Fuck her. That social worker doesn’t have any say over what we do.”

“Can you try to be reasonable, Axel? I’m already exhausted. You’re at work for eleven or twelve hours a day—”

“I’m working to pay for the baby you just had.”

Ignoring that, I continue with my reasoning. “If I’m up at the property, people will be around to help me with the baby.”

With a heavy sigh, he says, “Christ, Heidi. Babies sleep all day. How much help do you need?”

I take a deep breath and count to ten so I don’t scream at him.

“This is all new to me and I’m scared, okay?”

“You’re doing fine. And it’s not as if Hope or Trinity know what to do with a baby, either.”

He’s not getting it. “But at least I won’t be alone.”

Axel pinches the bridge of his nose. “It more than doubles my drive to work.”

“I don’t want to move up there permanently. Just for a few weeks until I get used to things.”

“Why don’t you ask Hope to come stay with us?”

“That’s not fair to her. And our apartment is barely big enough for us and the baby. Where’s she supposed to sleep?”

“Okay. But just for a week or two. I’m not comfortable up there.”

“I know.”

“Promise me this isn’t just so you can be around Murphy.”

Is he kidding? Except for today, I haven’t spoken to Murphy in months. I cut an important person out of my life to keep the peace with my husband, and he still won’t let it go. “That’s so stupid, I’m not even going to answer it.”

Axel stares at me and exhales. “I’m sorry. I’m exhausted.”

Like giving birth was a tropical vacation. “No kidding.”

“You know why it’s weird for me to be up there, right?”

“I understand. But they’re still my family.”

“
I’m
your family now.”

“Yes.” I answer with more patience than I’m feeling. “But they’re my family, too.”

Why does he always seem to forget that fact?

When I walk into the clubhouse, Rock has all the members currently living there—except Z because no one has been able to find him—assembled downstairs. Trinity, Mariella, and Hope are also there. If there were a party or church going on, it wouldn’t be unusual. Middle of the afternoon on a weekday, it’s a little odd.

“Everything okay, prez?”

“Yeah, take a seat.”

“What’s going on?”

Rock glances at Teller and gives him a go ahead signal.

“I’m worried about Heidi going home alone with the baby. Axel’s working long hours, and—”

“You want to have them stay here for a bit?” Sparky asks. By the way he’s bouncing around, he’s clearly excited about the idea.

“Rock and I discussed it this morning, and if it’s okay with you guys, we were going to offer them our old room,” Hope says.

What the actual fuck? “You’re
what
?” I snap.

Hope bites her lower lip, and Rock glares at me. No doubt for the sharp tone I just used with his wife.

“Sorry, Hope. This is just weird.”

“It’s temporary,” Rock says.

“A baby in the house will bring good energy for the plants,” Sparky assures us. Rock gives him the side eye.

“You’re gonna have to confine your smoking to the basement while the baby’s here,” he warns Sparky and Stash.

Sparky nods as if he doesn’t mind one bit and all this makes perfect sense. “I get it, prez.”

Teller paces and runs his hand over his chest. “I’m sorry. I know it’s gonna disrupt the whole clubhouse, but I’d really appreciate it. The hospital social worker’s been on her ass, too, so this will make them back off.”

Wrath sits up. Finally. No way our enforcer will let this happen. “Fuck it. I’m gettin’ sick of the place gettin’ trashed every weekend and havin’ to throw people out Sunday nights, anyway. She’s family. Of course we’ll help her out.”

Has the entire club lost their minds? “Do we get to vote on this?” I ask.

Rock narrows his eyes and turns my way. “Seriously? I thought
you
of all people would want to help her out?”

Shame burns through my anger. This isn’t about me or my wounded whatever. “You’re right. Sorry. I’m cool.”

Hope finally flashes a smile. “Thank you. I talked to her this morning, and she seemed so relieved when I asked her. She really needs all the support she can get right now.”

My face still burns even though Hope doesn’t seem to be judging me. “I know.”

“Thank you.” Teller squeezes Hope’s hand.

“You can thank me by helping me spruce up the room for them.”

Teller shakes with laughter and turns to Mariella. “I’ll help you, Hope,” she says.

“Well, one of you muscle-y wonders is needed to help me move some heavy boxes.”

“Hey,” Rock protests, making all of us laugh.

Hope pats his arm. “Your muscles are needed elsewhere, Mr. President.”

Wrath sits up and waves his hand in the air. “Before you two start going at it, when’s she gettin’ discharged?”

Hope’s mouth quirks, but it’s Teller who answers. “Tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, shit.” Wrath gestures at Teller and me. “You guys better hurry up.”

“Why’d I get roped into this again?” I ask.

Teller slaps my arm. “Don’t be a dick.”

We follow Hope upstairs. All she needed was for us to move a couple of boxes of books into her closet. Mariella stays and helps her make the bed.

“Feel good to be back home?” Teller asks on our way downstairs.

In spite of everything, it does feel good to be home. I’m not so sure I’ll have the same opinion tomorrow when Heidi and her
husband
move in a few doors down the hall from me. “Yup. It’s good to be back.”

My best friend doesn’t call me out on my fake smile or strained voice. He slaps my shoulder. “It’s good to have you back. Missed you.”

M
y whole life’s become surreal. How did I end up with a baby before my nineteenth birthday?

Axel, the baby, and I arrive at the clubhouse after I’m discharged from the hospital and are given Rock and Hope’s old room.

After a few days, I’ve settled into a bit of a routine. Even so, exhaustion pulls at me. The kind that leaves my head fuzzy and achy. Curling into a ball on the floor sounds good right about now.

Alexa’s a good baby. From what I’ve read, she could be way fussier than she is. Even so, I’m tired. After Axel leaves for work, I put Alexa down for her nap and crawl into bed.

A soft knock on the door has me groaning. Sleep. Just a few more precious minutes before she wakes up again. Why is that too much to ask?

Z’s on the other side, so I’m happy I dragged my butt out of bed. “Uncle Z!” He gives me a big hug, lifting me off the ground a bit.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t come see you in the hospital, Heidi-girl. I just got home.”

“That’s okay. It was too hectic anyway.”

“Can I see her?”

“Sure. She’s sleeping.”

“I’ll be quiet.”

By appearance alone, Z is probably pretty terrifying. He’s a big guy and covered from neck to fingertips in tattoos. When he smiles, though, he flashes dimples worthy of a college quarterback. As soon as he sees Alexa, he grins. “Aw, shit, Heidi. She’s so tiny. She looks just like you when you—” He stops and glances over at me. “Fuck, this is weird. In my head, you’re still four years old.”