More Than Miles (A Lost Kings MC Novel) (27 page)

Not even mine.

If I had a mother, I suppose we’d go dress shopping together. I don’t have a chance to feel sorry for myself over it, though. Hope takes me back to the dress shop where she bought her wedding dress and our bridesmaid dresses.

“Do you think I’m allowed to wear white?” I ask, pointing at my stomach.

She giggle-snorts. Not in a mean way, in a fun aunt way. “Heidi, that’s such an old, outdated tradition. Wear whatever color you want.”

“Well, I know you didn’t wear white. But you’d been married before.”

“And I hated the white dress my mother forced me to get the first time. But really, honey, if you want white, get white. If you don’t, don’t. This white dress thing is a recent thing. You know in Eastern cultures, dresses are red. I think blue is popular in Ireland. But it depends what you want.”

“Ooh, red would be pretty.”

“Come on. Let’s find a dress.”

I stop her on the way into the shop. “Thank you for doing this…for everything, Hope.”

She pulls me in for a quick hug. “No problem.”

“I…I mean it. You realize this is the third time you’ve taken me dress shopping?”

Laughter spills out of her. “I must love you.”

She’s teasing, but my throat tightens. “Well,” I say, forcing the words past the lump in my throat. “I just want you to know it means a lot to me.”

I think I embarrassed her because she flashes a nervous smile and tugs me into the dress shop. But I’m glad I got the words out.

For all my bravery of doing something different, I end up picking out a white dress. In the interest of being unique, the dress I choose has a skirt made up of layers of fluffy tulle and the bottom is embroidered with red and orange flowers.

“Orange is Axel’s favorite color. I think he’ll love the dress,” I gush to Hope on our way home. Because of the way the dress and skirt fall, even if I’m showing by the time of the wedding, you won’t be able to tell.

That was an important detail to me.

I end up leaving the dress in Rock and Hope’s old room. “We can have you get ready up here, and then you can walk down the stairs. Oh, that will be perfect,” Trinity says after she checks out the dress. She whips out her notebook and takes some more notes. “We need more ribbon,” she says. Whether it’s to me or Hope, I’m not sure. Hope shrugs and we all head back downstairs. My gaze strays to Murphy’s door, wondering if he’s home yet. My brother’s useless as far as getting information. And I’m too embarrassed to ask Hope.

No matter how much I smile and pretend to be excited about the wedding, I can’t stop thinking about the pain and anger in Murphy’s eyes the night of our announcement. We’ve never gone this long without speaking. This should be a happy time, but there’s a huge hole in my world and I don’t know how to patch it up.

Downstairs, Sparky’s hanging out in the living room with Wrath and my brother. Sparky gives me a big hug. “Are you excited?”

“Sure.”

“Don’t feel bad about Murphy. After your bomb, he needed to get out of here, but he’s doing something good for the club, so it’s okay.”

“What?”

“Sparky,” my brother warns.

“What?”

Wrath doesn’t do subtle warnings. “Shut it, Sparky.”

He huffs and heads back downstairs.

“Seriously, what was he talking about?”

“What do you think, Heidi?” Wrath asks. “You know how he feels about you.”

“Wyatt—” Trinity says.

“Oh, was it a secret?” he asks with wide eyes.

“Stop picking on me, Uncle Wrath.”

He stands and kisses the top of my head. “I’m not. I swear. Murphy’s a big boy. He’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure he found someone to ease his suffering,” my brother mutters.

Hope sort of gasps. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s upset with my brother or shocked about Murphy.

Wrath gives him the side-eye. “Really, bro?”

“What? Heidi’s an adult now, or so I hear. Getting married. Why shield her from the truth?”

Tears prick my eyes. “Shut up, Marcel.”

But he doesn’t. He sits up and drills me with a big brother look that borders on nasty. “You’re
marrying
Axel. Why do you care if Blake nails every skank from here to Arizona?”

“Teller, that’s enough,” Hope says.

He turns his glare at Hope and opens his mouth.

“Think it through, bro,” Wrath warns in a low voice.

Hope stares right back at my brother and raises an eyebrow.

“What’s going on?” Rock calls from the front door. He runs his gaze over the scene in front of him and narrows his eyes.

“My brother’s being a jerk, that’s all.”

Wrath snorts.

“Tell me something new, Heidi-girl,” Rock says with a smile. He gives me a quick hug then slaps my brother on the back. “What’s up, knucklehead?”

“Nothing.”

Rock looks to Hope who shakes her head and puts her arm around my shoulder. “Come on, I’ll walk you out, honey.”

“Thank you.”

As soon as the door shuts behind us, the guys’ voices can be heard raising in volume.

“What’s gotten into my brother?” I ask.

“I don’t think he’s handling the wedding well, Heidi. You’re young. He loves you and wants what’s best for you.”

“Great, wait until I tell him about the baby,” I mutter.

“Maybe we’ll just call him from the hospital,” she teases.

She gives me a warm hug before I slide into my car. Why couldn’t I have gotten someone like her for my mother? All this wedding stuff has me wondering about my mother a lot lately. Even if I wanted to invite her, I can’t because I have no idea where she lives.

Or even if she’s alive or dead.

We’re treated to a regular clubhouse welcome when we return. Sparky dances around the parking lot, thrilled with his new baby plants. He and Stash inspect all twelve plants and carry them downstairs.

“Won’t see them for another month,” Rock jokes. He slaps me on the back. “Glad you’re home safe, brother. Feelin’ any better?” he asks low enough that only I hear him.

“Not really. Is it still happening?” I don’t have to be more specific. He knows what
it
I’m referring to.

“’Fraid so.”

“Fuck,” I grumble.

He nods at the house. “Trin’s turned our living room into half a wedding chapel, so…”

“Fuck me, really?”

“You can come stay at our place—”

I crack a smile. “I’ll be fine, prez. I’m not that big a pussy.”

He slaps my back again. “Never said you were.”

After so much time on my ass, I need a shower and a long workout. I make a quick stop at my room to drop off my stuff and change, then head downstairs to the gym. It’s empty, thank fuck, because I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone.

My luck runs out about halfway into my workout. Trinity’s door across the hall opens. She smiles and waves when she sees me.

“Hey, I heard you were back. How’d it go?”

“I’m alive. Out of shape, but alive.”

She ducks her head and laughs.

“Whatcha up to, Trin?”

The smile fades from her face, and she clutches the folder in her arms tight to her chest. “Nothing.”

I roll my eyes. “You can tell me if it’s wedding stuff, I won’t fall apart.”

“I know you won’t.”

“How’s it going? The wedding stuff, I mean.”

“Fine. Hope took her to get a dress earlier.”

“That’s nice.” I mean it. I imagine planning a wedding has Heidi missing her mother something awful. I’m glad Hope’s there for her. I’d be happier if Hope were helping Heidi plan
our
wedding. But whatever.

Trinity glances over her shoulder and then back at me. “Her brother said some mean shit to her earlier.”

“She was here? Today?”

“Yeah, she just left a little while ago.”

“Oh,” I answer, trying to sound uninterested and failing. “What’s Teller’s issue?”

“Sparky implied you took off because you were upset about the wedding.”

“Thanks a lot, Sparky,” I mutter. “And?”

“Teller made a comment about you finding plenty of comfort in your travels.” The way Trinity phrases it is a lot nicer than what Marcel actually said, I’m sure. “What’d he say, I was nailing chicks across the country?”

“Pretty much.”

“Nice.”

“I don’t think he’s handling the wedding well.”

“Yeah, well he doesn’t need to throw me under the bus.”

Actually, the more I think about it, the angrier I get.

I shut down the treadmill and pat Trin’s shoulder. “He upstairs?”

“I think so.”

I take off to confront my best friend but get stopped by Rock before I hit the stairs. “Hey, Sway and a few of his guys are headed up here tonight. Will you be around?”

For Rock, I’ll set my plans to kick Teller’s ass aside. “Yeah, sure. Why, what’s up?”

“Nothin’, just want as many of my guys here as possible.”

“You worried he’s gonna bother Hope?”

“Or say something stupid to Trinity that gets him shot.”

I chuckle at that, and Rock’s stony glare intensifies. I drop the smile. “I’ll be here, prez. Whatever you need. He say why he’s coming up?”

He rolls his eyes. “A business deal to discuss. Fuck only knows what.”

“Guns probably.” That’s the only “business” our downstate charter’s involved with that I know of.

“I’m gettin’ tired of answering the same question.” A growly sound of irritation punctuates his frustration.

“I hear you.”

“I need to have a word with him, so send me a text as soon as you see him?”

“You got it.” I have a feeling the word he wants to have with Sway involves his fist and Sway’s jaw for disrespecting Hope over the summer.

Later that night, as I predicted, Sway has a fresh bruise forming on the left side of his face. Whatever happened between them is done. Brothers don’t hold grudges. We beat the snot out of each other and move on.

It’s a good system.

I’m sitting next to Rock. Hope’s curled up in his lap and Sway’s next to me.

It’s not guns Sway wants to discuss. It’s porn.

I’m facing Sway when he brings it up, so I can’t see Rock’s face. I don’t have to see him to know he’s rolling his eyes, though.

“
Why
are you getting involved in that?” Rock asks.

“Why else? Money. Trying to move the club in a more legit direction like you did.”

I don’t buy that for a second and I doubt Rock does either. “I thought all the good porn studios were in Florida or California?” I ask, sitting back and trying to keep the disbelief off my face.

Sway waves his hand in the air. “You’re thinking of that fake, cum-splatter porn. This is arty, classy, lady porn.”

Huh?

“We’re investing in this chick’s company,” Sway continues, ignoring our
what the fuck?
faces. “I want to protect our investment. She meets regular, ordinary dudes, fucks ‘em in hotels or wherever, and films it.”

“Sounds classy,” Rock says in a flat voice.

Rock’s sarcasm goes right over Sway’s head. “She has a big following. Stella Starr.”

Rock and I shake our heads.

“Oh, she’s beautiful!” Hope says, making all three of us stare at her.

Rock squeezes her a little tighter. “Why have you heard of her and I haven’t?”

She lets out a soft laugh and puts her hand on his face. “She writes a column for a feminist blog I follow.”

Sway snorts. “Just admit you watch her movies, Hope.”

The muscles in Rock’s jaw clench, but Hope laughs. “Oh, I have. She’s quite talented. Her film company’s making a lot of money from what I’ve read. Sounds like an excellent investment, Sway,” she says, sounding completely sincere.

He nods and puffs out his chest before getting up to find a drink. Once he’s out of range, Hope jokingly raises her hand. “Question—
why
was he okay with me sitting in on
this
business discussion, but he had such a hissy the last time he was here and I was at the breakfast table?”

Rock shakes with laughter and pulls her against his chest, so I answer the question. “If I had to guess, he was trying to make you uncomfortable, hoping you’d flip out and do something crazy, like forbid Rock to go anywhere near the girl. That’s what Tawny would do.”