More Than Miles (A Lost Kings MC Novel) (23 page)

My brother’s far from happy. But at least he isn’t threatening to shoot Axel anymore. Rock and Axel are nowhere to be found when we return to the dining room. Marcel keeps glaring at my fiancé’s empty chair in a way that suggests murder might still be on his mind.

My stomach rolls. Shit. The last thing I need is to get sick here. Then they’ll all know, for sure.

Murphy still hasn’t returned. My feet twitch, wanting to check on him. Talk to him. Except, I can’t. What would I say to him? I’m sorry? I’m a careless idiot? I got myself in trouble and I’m trying to be mature and do the right thing even though I don’t have a clue what that is?

“I’ll be right back,” I say, pushing my chair back and running down the hall to the bathroom. Everything I ate comes up along with a rush of tears.

It takes a few minutes to get myself under control, wash my face, and swig some mouthwash before I leave the bathroom.

Voices in the living room draw me in that direction.

Murphy.

Correction. Murphy, with Serena and her friend. The girls are giggling and hanging all over him. He turns his head my way. His severe face seems older than it was a few minutes ago. I barely recognize the angry man staring back at me.

My heart thumps wildly. “Can I talk to you?”

He takes a step forward, leaving the girls behind. “About what?” he asks in a dismissive tone he’s never used with me before.

“Uh, um.” Dammit. If those stupid girls weren’t here, I almost think I’d break down and tell him the truth.

“What,
Bug
? You want me to say congratulations? Ask you where you’re registered?” I flinch from the ice in his voice.

The door to the war room opens and Rock steps out, Axel right behind him. Rock catches my eye and smiles. Not the loving or patient smile I’m used to. More of a tired, slightly disappointed smile.

Murphy raises an eyebrow at me, daring me to say what I wanted to say in front of Axel. But I’m frozen in place. After a few seconds of silence, he nods slightly.

Serena takes his hand, whispers something in his ear. Without looking at me again, he leads the two girls over to the couch to talk to Sparky.

Axel slips his arm around my waist, and we walk back into the dining room. Trinity and Mariella are busy clearing the table. I grab a few plates and follow Trinity out to the kitchen where she packs up a bunch of cupcakes and a hunk of cheesecake for me to take home.

“Have you thought about where to have the wedding?” she asks.

“Huh?” I mumble stupidly. I’m still chilled from the ice in Murphy’s voice. Even when we’ve fought in the past, he’s never been so cold to me. Along with everything else I’ve screwed up in my life, I’ve also lost his friendship. The thought leaves me hollow and hurting.

Trinity touches my shoulder. “Wedding?” she asks gently.

“Oh.” Focus. Wedding. Future. “I’d love to have it here, honestly.”

Her eyes light up, but her smile falters. “I can help. You know, if you want me to, I mean.”

“God, yes. Please? Hope’s wedding was so beautiful. And she said it was all your doing.” I force myself to forget what just happened and concentrate on the future. I brush my hand over my stomach,
our future
. “I don’t need anything as elaborate, though. Something simple.”

She raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question me. “Well, you need a dress, flowers, food, someone to do the ceremony.” She ticks off each item on her hands then turns to grab a notebook and pen from one of the kitchen drawers.

“Don’t go crazy. For me. You don’t have to.”

“Sure I do. This is a big deal.”

“But, you’re planning your own wedding.”

She dismisses my concern with the wave of her hand. “We can’t get the place where we want to have the wedding for a while. Wyatt’s more focused on starting construction on our house. Don’t sweat it.”

This is all news to me. And
Wyatt
? I can’t remember anyone referring to Uncle Wrath as anything but
Wrath
.

“Thank you.”

We talk a little longer and make plans to meet next week.

My chest aches a fraction less as I return to the dining room. Axel’s standing by the table, talking bike modifications with my brother and Z. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me to his side.

Noise from the front of the clubhouse reaches us. Party guests arriving.

Rock glances at Hope and tips his head toward their house. They won’t be sticking around to watch the guys get down and dirty. Honestly, after what I’ve already witnessed tonight, I’m ready to go home. Watching girls vying for a night of my brother’s affection is very low on my priority list.

After my second yawn, the guys chuckle and we start working our way toward the front door.

The living room’s more crowded now. Full of smoke, too. Sparky runs over and embraces both of us, smushing us together. “Congrats, guys,” he shouts and runs off. Rock shakes his head.

“You kids headed home?” he asks us.

Axel answers. “Yes, sir.”

I snuggle closer to Axel and he gives me a squeeze. “Ready to go, babe?”

Before we leave, Serena’s friend comes clomping downstairs, throwing herself on the couch next to Dex and Swan.

I wonder what happened.

No, I don’t.

It doesn’t concern me.

What’s the best way to get over a girl? Get on top of another one.

Or two.

Couple years ago, I’d have been all over this scenario.

Now, I don’t even care.

What was Heidi about to say to me downstairs?

It doesn’t matter.

Married, married, married. How can she be getting married? Where did everything go wrong?
I ask myself as I lead two girls I don’t feel a thing for upstairs.

At my bedroom door, Serena hesitates and glances at her friend.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Um…” Serena shakes her head. “Well, I—”

“You don’t want her here?”

Her lashes flutter and she shakes her head.

Fine by me.

I lift my chin at Amanda. “Go wait downstairs. Sparky’ll take care of ya.”

She rolls her eyes and fake-punches Serena in the shoulder.

“Sorry,” Serena says after Amanda leaves.

Pushing open my door, I usher her inside. “It’s fine.”

“She’ll probably ditch my ass. She drove.”

“It’s fine,” I repeat. “I’ll take you home tomorrow.”

She smiles and looks so damn hopeful about me wanting her to stay. It makes me feel shitty because it has less to do with Serena and more to do with me not wanting to be alone tonight.

But really, isn’t that what
this
has always been about anyway?

Serena closes the door and leans against it, tucking her hands behind her back. “Are you okay, Murphy? You seem really down.”

“Long day.” Nothing major. Just had my heart ripped out and shredded to pieces.

“Can I make it better?”

I lean in, placing a kiss on her lips then pulling away. “Yeah, I think you can.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The question throws me for a second. I run my fingers over her cheek. Serena’s a beautiful girl, no denying it. But I can’t stop thinking about the most beautiful girl I know.

Who’s downstairs with her fiancé.

How can she
marry
him?

I wish I felt something
more
for Serena. I
like
her. I even enjoy spending time with her outside of the bedroom. But, I’m an empty shell of nothing right now.

I lean in to kiss her again, hoping to chase the emptiness away. Fill it with something—anything—else. Even if for only a few moments.

Serena places her hands on my chest, under my cut, curling her fingers into my shirt. She presses closer, pushing me backward.

We stumble to my bed without breaking our kiss. She drops down on the bed, staring up at me. It’s a practiced look. Seductive but sweet. She’s good at it.

“What do you want?” I ask.

“Well,” she says, reaching up and hooking her fingers in my belt. “First, I want to suck your dick.”

A huff of laughter eases out of me. I cup her face with one hand and gather her hair in the other.

“Well then, you better get to it, darlin’.”

I’m a real piece of shit, because I wake up disappointed Serena’s still in my bed. She’s busy playing on her phone when I finally open my eyes.

“Amanda didn’t leave, so you don’t have to take me home,” she says without looking over.

“Good.”

She turns at the sound of my voice and sets her phone down.

“Are you mad I’m still here?” she whispers.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“No.” But I took so long to answer, hurt’s already shining in her eyes.

“I’ll get going,” she says, throwing back the covers and slipping into her shirt.

“You don’t have to.”

“It’s okay. I have stuff to do.”

“I’m sorry.”

She turns and raises an eyebrow at me. “Why? I’m just a club girl. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I like you.”

Her eyes widen.

“But, I’m in love with someone else. So it isn’t really fair to keep doing this to you.”

I’m officially the biggest douche in the world.

She slips into her jeans. “I wasn’t…I don’t
expect
anything from you. I never have.”

“I know you moved up here—”

She snorts. “I moved up here for school, Murphy. Not you.”

“Okay.”

“If you don’t want me to come to the clubhouse any more, just say so.”

When I don’t answer, she snatches her shoes up off the floor and walks out, slamming the door behind her.

I grab one of my pillows and press it into my face. Maybe I can smother myself. But it smells like Serena, so I toss it across the room.

One shower and thirty minutes later, I text Teller.

Is Serena gone?

How the fuck would I know?

Where are you?

He doesn’t answer, so I finish getting dressed and head to his room. I knock, but no one answers. Someone’s definitely inside, though. As I’m about to pound a little harder, Mariella opens the door.