More Than Miles (A Lost Kings MC Novel) (21 page)

“I’m sorry.”

My shoulders lift. “Teller and Heidi’s mother was just never around. When mine was, I wished she wasn’t.”

“Is that how the three of you got so close?”

“Yeah, I guess. I couldn’t have
stuff,
you know? My mom would sell anything in our house for drugs. Or destroy it when she had a fit of rage or whatever.”

“But Heidi was yours?”

For the first time in days, I smile. “Yeah. Teller needed help since his mom was gone all the time, and I needed a place where I didn’t have to sleep on the floor.”

“She’d just leave them?”

“Pretty much from day one.”

“She left an infant with a ten year old?”

“Yup. Child Services showed up once or twice. She’d stop running around for a bit and then be right back at it.”

“Jeez.”

“Why do you think we turned out the way we did?”

“I think you turned out pretty well.”

I lift an eyebrow inviting her to explain how she arrived at that conclusion.

“Well, I don’t see you drinking or abusing drugs. That was your role model, right? You could have gone that route. Plenty of people do. Instead, you’re part of this family and help take care of everyone in it.”

It’s not until right this second that I think about how odd it is that Rock sort of adopted us the way he did. How as a kid, I felt safer around a group of hardened bikers than with my own mother. I’ve always been thankful and considered myself lucky to have the club but never thought about
how
I ended up here. “That’s all Rock’s doing.”

A slight smile flickers at the corner of her mouth. “Yes, but I think he had good raw material to work with.”

“You were appropriately named, you know that?”

She laughs and bumps my shoulder.

“Come on, you’ve seen the way we treat the girls around here.”

“I’ve never seen you guys abuse one of them or be…disrespectful.”

“Rock wouldn’t allow it.”

“But, neither would you,” she says absolutely confident of every word. “Besides that” she hesitates and seems to think over what she wants to say. “These
are
grown women making their own choices, you know? If you’re honest with them and they get their hearts broken, that’s not your fault.”

“I guess.”

“It cuts both ways, no? How many of the girls really try to get to know you? Besides the patch, the badass bike, the muscles, and tattoos?”

“Now you’re making me blush, Hope.” But as I think it over, except for Serena, none of them cared enough to know me outside of the club. “I get what you’re saying, though.”

“Good because I feel like a traitor to my gender now.”

Hard laughter rumbles out of me.

“You still buggin’ Hope?” Wrath says from behind us. I turn and find him grinning. Dying to razz my ass.

“None of you bug me,” Hope insists.

“He grill you about Heidi?” Wrath asks as he sits down.

Hope rolls her eyes and doesn’t answer the question.

“Why you gotta be a dick?” I ask.

Teller’s laughter stops our bickering.

“Glad things are normal here,” he says as he sits next to me. He glances around the table, finally setting his gaze on Hope. “Talk to Heidi again?”

Poor Hope. She’s like our Heidi hotline.

Wrath catches the scowl on my face and laughs. “Hope doesn’t mind. She’s our Wendy.”

“Our what?” For a scary-ass motherfucker, Wrath says the strangest shit sometimes.

“It’s been a few years since I saw Peter Pan, so I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted,” Hope says without a trace of humor.

“I think we’re the ones who should be insulted, Hope,” Teller says dryly. “Wendy’s the one who mothers all the Lost Boys living in Neverland.”

A
fter my last class, I meet Hope at her office for lunch. We’ve been meeting up for lunch or shopping at least once a week since my senior year of high school, and I’ve missed her.

“Hi, honey. I’ve missed you,” she shrieks, wrapping me up in a big hug.

I’m too choked up to say anything, so I just hug her back.

“Your brother’s worried sick,” she says when we part.

Even though she doesn’t say it in a scolding way, shame warms my cheeks. “I know.”

“Please, at least call him.”

“I will. I’m planning to come up for his birthday party.”

“Oh good! M—everyone will be happy to see you.”

I think she was going to say
Murphy
will be happy to see me. And it makes me wonder if Murphy asked Hope about me.

Focus.

I’m not here for info on Murphy. I need Hope to help me break the engagement news to my brother. I glance around her office. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” She leads me down the hall into her office. It’s a cramped space that’s hardly bigger than a closet.

“What’s wrong, Heidi?”

“If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone yet? Not even Uncle Rock? And especially not my brother.”

“Why don’t you tell me first? Then I’ll decide if I want to keep secrets from my husband.”

“What if I’m asking for legal advice?”

She wags a finger at me. “Don’t try that.”

My mouth tips into a grin. When I asked Hope to take me to Planned Parenthood, I spilled some stuff to her and made her swear on her lawyer-client oath not to tell anyone. Obviously, she hasn’t forgotten.

I let out a heavy sigh and hold up my left hand.

“Oh, how pretty!” She grabs my hand and studies the ring. After her inspection, her big green eyes meet mine. “Is it what I think it is?”

I nod. “Axel and I are getting married, and I could use your help breaking the news to my brother.”

She sways a little then rounds her desk and drops into her chair. “When?”

“Ah, as soon as possible.”

“Heidi—”

“I’m pregnant, Hope.” Tears flow down my cheeks. I can’t believe this is my life.

“Oh, honey.” Hope’s up and pulling me into her arms so fast, I don’t have a chance to get any more words out. Wave after wave of shame threatens to drown me. I’m so damn angry with myself for being so careless.

“Are you sure?” she asks.

“I have an appointment with my doctor, but yeah. I’ve taken like five tests.” Axel insisted I take one every morning for a couple of days, hoping the outcome would be different, but I keep that to myself. I need Hope backing me on this if I’m going to sell it to my brother, and if she suspects Axel’s been anything less than one hundred percent supportive, I can kiss that goodbye.

“Shit,” she mutters under her breath and it makes me chuckle. “What do you want to do, honey?”

The tears roll faster down my cheeks, and I let out a few sobs. “Keep it.”

She hugs me tight again. “Okay.” She hesitates then pulls back. “Heidi, you don’t have to get married just because—”

“No. I do. We want to. It’s the right thing to do.”

“Heidi—”

“I know I’m too young and am probably ruining my life, but I just can’t—” I bury my face against her shoulder. When she doesn’t say anything, humiliation forces me to ask, “Are you disappointed in me?” I mumble the words into her sweater.

“What? No, Heidi. I won’t lie. It’s not ideal. You’re both
so
young. But we’ll get through it. We’ll figure everything out.”

We
. She says
we
and for the first time, I don’t feel so alone.

For the first time since that evil little plus sign popped up, I have hope.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be there, Heidi.” This is maybe the fourth or fifth time I’ve expressed my opinion on joining her at the clubhouse for her brother’s birthday party.

“Well, I need you there.”

“He’s going to figure it out and kill me,” I warn her.

“Then stick to our story. We need to get married in order to qualify for student housing.”

Teller may be a lot of things, but he’s not stupid. “He’s never going to go for that.”

Where did everything go so wrong?

I always figured I’d marry Heidi. Not like this, though. I feel like a schmuck about the whole situation. I’ll never say it out loud but I’m also fucking pissed with her for—

“What’s wrong?” Heidi asks.

“Nothing. Just hoping you don’t end up widowed before we even get married.”

“Stop. You’re making it worse than it is.”

Must be nice to be an optimist. Not only did I steal his baby sister away and move her into my apartment, but the way Teller probably sees it, I’ve been keeping his sister from speaking to him, too.

All these extra complications are not what I signed up for. I’m trying hard to finish up school and land a decent job. Wanted to enjoy some time to myself now that I’m not the Lost Kings’ bitch.

Instead, I’m planning a shotgun wedding and trying to wrap my head around being a father.

Guess it’s time to prepare myself for the beatdown her brother’s going to give me when he finds out we’re getting married.

We take my car to the clubhouse. I had no clue what to buy my brother for his birthday, and I hate coming to his party empty-handed.

“He’ll just be happy to see you,” Axel reassures me after I mention my lack of a gift for the tenth time.

The closer we get to the clubhouse, the more anxious he seems. “Maybe I should drop you off instead.”

“Where? In the woods, so I can hike up to the clubhouse by myself?”

He grumbles some more but doesn’t offer up any more stupid suggestions.

We have to call up to the clubhouse before the gates open. That’s new. It hurts that the club thinks they can’t trust me anymore. But, I suppose I deserve it.

I send Hope a text letting her know we’re almost there. She promised to meet us out front. Axel parks down the hill—not too far from where Murphy parked the night of my birthday party so we could talk.

Things have changed so much since that night.

As promised, Hope’s waiting out front. I’m surprised Uncle Rock isn’t with her, but also grateful.

“Hi, honey.” She rushes over and gives me a warm hug. I cling to her probably longer than necessary, but I can’t help it. The fear beating inside of me won’t go away.

When she releases me, she hesitates before saying hello to Axel.