More Than Miles (A Lost Kings MC Novel) (9 page)

“I, uh, had this fight with Heidi the other day and it’s still bugging me.”

“Okay,” she answers slowly. She waits patiently while I decide how much to tell her.

“Well, the night of her birthday, I sort of explained how I felt about her and how I wanted things to be between us.”

“Did you ask her what she wanted?”

Nope. Never even considered it because I assumed we wanted the same thing. “Not exactly. She was into it. What we were doing, but—”

Hope narrows her eyes, and I stop.

“Go on,” she says, still looking pretty suspicious of me.

“You know how I call her Bug? I guess I didn’t realize how much she hates it.” As I’m saying the words, it all starts falling into place. I called her Bug after the phone call. That’s when everything changed. Then she had time to think and remember all the reasons she doesn’t want to be with me.

“Well, she’s been pushing boundaries for a while. She wants to be seen as an adult, and it probably makes her feel childish.”

“Yeah, I got that.” Boy, did that come through shrill and clear.

“And?”

“Axel was all over her at the party, and Serena showed up, so we didn’t get to talk again until the next day. When we finally did, she said some other stuff I don’t know what to do with.”

“You’re going to have to be more specific, Murphy.”

Christ, this is embarrassing.

“I think you understand how things work around here. With club girls? Heidi’s heard stories, and—”

“Ahh.” She nods knowingly, but doesn’t laugh at me. “She’s sensitive about that stuff.” Hope pauses and seems to be considering what she wants to say. Whether it’s so she doesn’t hurt my feelings or she’s searching for smaller words my brawny-man brain will understand, I’m not sure. “More and more girls are rejecting the idea that it’s okay for boys to have as much sex as they want, while girls are supposed to keep their legs closed and not complain.”

What can I say to that? Definitely
not
the way things are in our world. “Maybe college wasn’t the best idea.”

Hope must think I’m kidding—which I sort of am. She giggle-snorts and nudges me with her arm. “Trust me. She had those ideas before she got to college.”

I raise an eyebrow so she’ll feed me a little more information.

“We’ve shared some girl talk,” she says vaguely. “I can’t be more specific with you.”

“Oh.” I really want to know if any of those conversations included my name, but she won’t betray Heidi, and I respect that. “Okay.”

“Anyway,” she continues. “Yes. The girls…bother her a lot.”

“But you know Rock—”

“Don’t go there. It’s not the same. I was married when we met. And I’m not a teenager.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She pauses again, an uncertain expression clouding her face. “I think her grandmother also had some warped opinions on sexuality and made Heidi feel ashamed about anything related to sex.”

That doesn’t surprise me and helps me understand some of the things Heidi said the other day. “What should I do to fix it?”

Her bottom lip quivers, and she looks like she wants to hug me, so whatever she’s about to say isn’t going to be favorable.

“I don’t know that you can. Maybe she needs time to grow up and sort of broaden her horizons and it won’t matter as much.”

I groan. More waiting. Great.

“Or maybe she just needs to have some sexual experiences of her own to feel—”

A frustrated growl bursts out of me, and instead of laughing, Hope pats my back. “I know.”

I can’t even deal with that idea right now. So I decide to ask her about the other thing that’s been bothering me. “All right. Can I ask you something else?”

“Yes.”

“Can you find out if Axel treats her okay? She made a comment about them fighting the other day…and I just got a bad feeling from it. But if I say anything”—I wave my hand at the clubhouse—“they’re just gonna think I’m being a jealous little bitch.”

She snorts again. “You’re probably right.” Her nose wrinkles but she seems to be thinking over my request. “I’ve only seen Axel be nice to her, and you know, couples do fight.”

“I know. It was just…she was almost scared about how he might react, and that’s not the Heidi I know. She’s always been fearless.”

She nods, seeming to take my request seriously, not just humoring a jealous, wanna-be boyfriend. “I’ll see what I can find out.”

“Thank you.” I think for a second how fucking selfish I’m being. “Thanks for listening. I always unload all this Heidi crap on you, Hope. I never ask if you’re okay or do anything for you.”

She wraps her arms around me for a quick squeeze. “You’re so sweet. And that’s not true. I haven’t gotten in my car once since I moved here and had less than a half tank of fuel. When it snows, my car’s always cleaned off and ready for me. Rock says that’s all you.”

Pride turns my mouth up in a big grin. “Well, that’s me making sure the prospects do it.”

“I figured.” She bumps me again with her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Everything okay?” Rock asks as he steps out the front door.

Hope doesn’t jump or try to distance herself from me in any way, and Rock doesn’t even raise an eyebrow. There are no games between these two. They trust each other absolutely. Well that and he knows damn well I’m no threat.

He walks over and she stares up at him as if everything she needs in the universe is right in front of her. A long time ago, Heidi looked at me in a similar way.

“You okay, Baby Doll?” he asks as he runs the back of his hand over her cheek. She leans into him and murmurs a yes. She doesn’t offer up what we were talking about, and I appreciate that. I’m sure later she’ll tell him all about it, but she has too much class to embarrass me in front of him.

“Need anything, prez?”

Rock sighs and shakes his head. “Sway called. He and a couple of his guys are coming up—not Bull.”

That information makes me laugh. I’m sure Bull won’t return anytime soon since I knocked him out cold after Rock and Hope’s wedding. I’m not too fond of Sway showing up, though. Not after the way he treated Hope when Rock was in jail last summer.

“Ugh, just let me know when so I can steer clear of the clubhouse,” Hope says and Rock glances down at her with a questioning face. I’m guessing no one filled Rock in on Sway’s misbehavior.

Shaking my head, I catch Hope’s attention. “He wouldn’t dare be that rude in front of Rock.”

“What the fuck are you two talking about?” Rock asks.

Hope makes an
oops
face. “With all the craziness going on and then our wedding, I forgot all about it.”

Rock swings his icy glare to me. “What is she talking about?”

“Nothing. Sway was just a rude dick to her while he was here. We set him straight and he backed down.”

His angry face softens as he turns back to Hope. “He touch you?”

“Not really. He was concerned that I should know my place.”

“Interesting. Wrath never mentioned it,” Rock grumbles.

“I think he had enough to worry about.” Hope’s quick to defend Wrath, and I find that funny since he treated Hope pretty harsh in the beginning. “The guys took care of me,” she says, patting my leg.

Rock glares at me again. “Okay,” he says in a way that means it’s definitely
not
okay.

Church should be a big ball of fun this week.

Sway’s visit should be entertaining too.

Teller rides up, and Rock walks over to meet him. Hope waves but doesn’t leave my side.

“Anything else?” she asks in a low voice.

“Probably but I can’t think of anything right now,” I answer honestly.

The corners of her mouth tip up and she wraps her hand around mine for a brief squeeze. “Please stop being so hard on yourself.”

Teller and Rock join us, and then Rock drags Hope home. “You see Wrath, tell him I need to talk to him,” Rock says over his shoulder.

“What’s that about?” Teller asks as he drops down next to me.

“Sway’s comin’ to visit.”

He screws his face into pure disgust. “Gonna tell Axel to keep Heidi away while Sway’s here.”

My insides knot up at the mention of her name. “You still cool with that?”

His eyes narrow. “What? Axel dating my sister? No. I’d rather she not date anyone and just concentrate on school.”

So would I. “That’s not very realistic, bro.”

“No shit.” He eyes me again. “Why’re you asking?”

My shoulders lift, but I’m not fooling him one bit. Fuck. Am I really gonna beg my best friend to talk his little sister into giving me a chance? “She’s eighteen—”

“Don’t.” He throws his hand up. “She’s not ready. She’s not—”

“What?”

“She’s not the girls you’re used to.”

Does he think I’m stupid? “I know that.”

“So, what if she wants to take things slow? You gonna wait or…I won’t have anyone disrespect my sister. Not even you.”

Somehow he lost me. “I’d never do anything to hurt her.”

“Dude. She ever caught you with someone else, it would kill her. She’s already—”

“Wait a second. You think I’d cheat on her? Why?” Then it hits me. My brother’s living in some deep denial. I won’t be the one who bursts his carefully constructed bubble by telling him Heidi’s not a virgin. Or at least that she told me she isn’t.

“I’d do whatever she wanted at her pace,” I finally mumble. “I’d never force her into something she didn’t want or have someone on the side.”

The weight of his stare drills into me and I lift my gaze. “If you’re with my sister, you’re
with
her. She’s not ending up one of your many conquests.”

Oh, man. He’s begging for me to punch him in the fuckin’ throat by suggesting I’d ever treat Heidi that way. “I know that,” I growl. “That’s not what I want.”

“Since when are you
seriously
into Heidi?” he asks.

How do I put into words what Heidi means to me? “Since always.”

His jaw drops and he continues glaring at me. “Why didn’t you ever say so?”

“Because it wasn’t right.”

“Jesus Christ.” He shakes his head, but finally drops the protective big brother shit and gives me a hint of a smile. “You tell her?”

“Tried.”

“And?”

“We just argued.”

“Figures,” he mutters. “Give her some time to work stuff out. She’s not going anywhere.”

God, I hope not. Even if she’s not mine, I don’t know what I’d do without her in my life.

I
t’s easy to avoid Murphy when I want to. After our fight, I manage to avoid him for a couple of weeks. Things go back to normal for Axel and me. School’s hard. My brother always thinks I’m so smart, but the truth is, school has always been hard work for me. What seems to take my classmates seconds to grasp requires a lot of studying for me.

I don’t mind. It gave me an excuse to stay out of my grandmother’s way when she was in one of her fits. My high grades were the only thing she ever liked about me. It gave her something to brag about. When my mother dropped Teller and me off at her mother’s house and took off with her boyfriend, I wonder if she knew how bad things would get for me.

Everyone in my grandmother’s small town knew my father split after I was born. My mother was a tramp who chose a random biker over her children. The Whelan kids provided a lot of gossip for narrow-minded neighbors. Angry at the world, Marcel fought with our grandmother a lot.
We
were that trashy family down the street who always had the cops at the door. She hated Marcel for embarrassing her.

Even after my brother moved out, he always made time for me. Murphy also remained a constant in my life. Those moments were precious and I never wanted to burden either of them with how miserable my life was. My grandmother always threatened to put me in foster care if I didn’t behave. I feared if visiting me became too complicated, Blake and Marcel wouldn’t do it anymore.

Axel’s the first person I ever spilled my dark secrets to. Mostly because he walked in on one of the blowout fights my grandmother and I were always having. Not long after, he found the bruises on my back and demanded answers. When my brother fought her for custody, I prayed every damn night he’d win. They ended up compromising, but it didn’t matter because she died a few months later.