More Than Miles (A Lost Kings MC Novel) (5 page)

Axel’s tone seems calm, but I sense the
I-told-you-so
undertones. I realize I’m being ridiculous since my boyfriend’s here. But in my mind, it’s two completely separate things.

“I’ll have to say hello later,” I answer coolly. Even though I’m pissed Murphy invited her to my birthday party, I won’t give Axel the satisfaction.

“We need to talk,” Axel says against my ear.

“Want to go upstairs?”

Axel isn’t the one who has a room here. I am. Hope and Trinity let me stay up here over the summer when the club went through a rocky time and I still have use of it when I want.

His lips press against my cheek. “Yeah. Your brother’s gone.”

Just because I turned eighteen and I have use of a room in the clubhouse, doesn’t mean I want to flaunt sneaking my boyfriend into it. Hope and Rock already left. My brother disappeared but might return at any time. Wrath and Trinity won’t care.

No, the only person who might have something to say about it is Murphy. And I’m not interested in his opinion.

I wrap my hand around Axel’s and lead him through the crowd.

“Leaving your own party?” Wrath asks as I brush past him. His serious tone stops me in my tracks.

“Are you cockblocking me, Uncle Wrath?” It’s a brash, obnoxious thing for me to say, but I think Wrath expects that of me from time to time and I hate to disappoint.

His usual stone-cold face breaks into a hint of a smile. “Not at all.” His gaze swings to Axel. “Better disappear now, prospect, before
someone
finds work for you.”

Yeah, by someone, he means Murphy.

Trinity winks and I feel a flutter of guilt. Jealous over her friendship with Murphy, I’ve acted like a snot to her for years, even though she’s always been kind to me and tried to make my birthdays special. “Thank you for my beautiful cake, Trin.”

Axel nudges me and we continue pushing through people to get to the staircase. I don’t look behind us once.

When we’re in my room, Axel pushes me up against the back of the door. I gasp from shock and he uses it to seal his mouth over mine in a long, lingering kiss.

“You smell like him,” he says when we part.

“What?”

“You. Smell. Like. Him.”

This won’t be the first time we’ve fought about Murphy.

“He gave me a ride here.”

He snorts. “And what else?”

I can’t lie to people I care about. People I don’t know? People who ask questions about my brother’s motorcycle club? No problem. I can lie with ease to strangers.

I focus on a spot on the wall over Axel’s shoulder. “Nothing.”

“Please. He’s been waiting for your birthday like a fat kid waiting for Girl Scout cookie season.”

I snort at the absurd mental image Axel just painted for me. “That’s stupid. His girlfriend’s here.”

He shakes his head as if he’s disappointed he needs to spell it out for me. “She’s not his girlfriend.”

“You seem to know a lot about her.”

Axel knows when I’m deflecting. “Don’t.” He takes his hands off the door and backs away from me. “I love you, but I’m not stupid. I’ve seen this coming since we got together.”

His hands fist at his sides and he glances at the bed. “One, Heidi. That’s all you get. I know he’s an important part of your life. But I won’t be played. I’ll give you
one
fuck-up and that’s it.”

I don’t bother asking him to explain this “one fuck-up” rule. It’s pretty clear. Generous too. I don’t think I’d be as forgiving if the situation were reversed. “There’s nothing.” The lie feels like slime on my tongue.

“I hope that’s true.”

I don’t have it in me to fight with Axel on my birthday. Obviously he doesn’t, either.

“I’m going to head home. You still want me to take you to Penny’s tomorrow?”

“Of course I do.”

Such sharp pain twists around in my chest. I hate that Axel’s mad at me. Hate that I don’t deserve his trust.

He gives me a kiss on the forehead and leaves, while I sit down on the floor and stare at the window, wondering if my brother’s around to give me a ride home.

Some birthday.

I’m irrationally pissed with Murphy for putting me in this position.

You could have said no, slut.

Except, in a lifetime of loneliness and bad memories, some of the happiest moments of my life include him. Were
because
of him. There’s too much history between us for
no
to be an option where Murphy’s concerned.

More than memories

I
realized I was in love with Murphy when I was eight. Maybe that sounds crazy, but I remember the moment perfectly. My eighth birthday. No card or phone call from my mother—no biggie. I’d stopped expecting anything from her by then. My grandmother gave me a dress—which sucked, because I didn’t wear dresses. Reminding her of my preference for jeans got me a smack across the face and a lecture on graciousness.

Ten years earlier…

The rumble of my brother’s bike pulling up in front of the house was the first thing to make me happy all day. But when I ran outside, it wasn’t just Marcel who came to visit. Blake was there to show off his new bike. I’d seen him working on it with Rock for a long time and never thought much of it.

Ecstatic to get away from my grandmother, who seemed to hate everything I said and did, I flew into my big brother’s arms and squealed as he spun me around.

“Happy Birthday, baby sis. You havin’ a good day?”

“No. But I am now.”

“Missed you, kid.”

I choked down my tears, knowing they’d make my brother feel guilty. “I miss you, too.”

He sighed and set me down, glancing at the house.

Like lots of kids, I collected Schleich figurines. Unlike most girls my age, I didn’t want horses or unicorns with unrealistic rainbow-colored manes. Nope, I was obsessed with collecting the wildlife figurines. The more realistic the better. Even though I realize they were never that expensive, back then, to me, they cost a fortune. Marcel brought me one of the littler creatures almost every time I saw him, and I cherished each one, because to me it meant even though I didn’t get to see him a lot anymore, he hadn’t forgotten about me.

When my brother set me down, Blake motioned me over. At first I thought he wanted to show off his bike, but he crouched down, pulled something out of his saddlebag, and handed it to me.

“This is so cool!” I couldn’t stop myself from jumping up and down at the roaring grizzly bear. “He looks so mad. What do you think he’s growling at?”

“Maybe this?” He handed me a snowy owl figurine, and I thought I’d explode with happiness.

“Two?”

“Yup.”

I plopped right down on the sidewalk to inspect my new treasures while the two of them talked about where to go next. I hated that they were already leaving.

“You bring her helmet, bro?”

My brother was slow to answer. “Yeah.”

“Can I take her?”

That got my attention and I jumped up. “Can I, Marcel? Please, please, please?”

“Yeah, calm down.” He glanced at the house, where my grandmother was either staring out the window trying to put a hex on Marcel, or not paying any attention at all. “Go put those inside and let Gran know we’re gonna take you down to Friendly’s.”

He didn’t even get the last word out before I raced up the sidewalk and into the house. Grams was nowhere to be found, so I raced upstairs, tucked my new treasures away in my dresser drawer and flew back down. I yelled a quick, “Going to Friendly’s!” before slamming the door shut.

“Ready!” I announced when I landed at the end of the sidewalk.

Blake handed me my helmet and chuckled at me.

Marcel put his big brother stare on Blake. “Go easy with her.”

“Absolutely.”

“Hang on tight,” Marcel warned me.

Did I ever.

I wrapped my arms around Blake so tight, it was a miracle he could breathe. I’m pretty sure it ranks up there as one of the happiest days of my life.

I’d ridden with my brother lots of times and loved it. But riding behind Blake was different. Different but still familiar.

The boys chose Friendly’s because they’d give me a birthday sundae for free and to check out one of the waitresses behind the counter.

It was the first time I’d ever thought about Blake having a girlfriend, and it bothered me.

It bothered me a
lot
.

Suddenly my sundae didn’t interest me that much. I studied the girl they were both so obviously interested in. She had long blonde curls tied into a high ponytail that swished back and forth as she ran around the cramped restaurant. I glanced down at my own dark, whip-straight hair—windblown and messy from the ride here.

“What’s wrong?” Blake asked when he noticed my ice cream had melted into a puddle.

“Nothing. Don’t feel good.”

Concern snapped Marcel’s attention away from the pretty waitress and he pressed the back of his hand against my forehead. “You eat any real food today?”

“Yeah.” I’d poured my own Cheerios this morning, but it wasn’t the lack of food that’d turned my stomach.

Now that I had their full attention, I milked it for everything I could. After I rattled off a long list of ailments, Marcel squinted at me. “Sounds like we should take you to the hospital.”

Whoops. I’d gone one too far.

“Can we go now?”

“Sure. I’ll grab the check.” He lifted an eyebrow and nodded at Blake. “Stay and watch her?”

As we walked out to the parking lot, Marcel gloated that he’d gotten the waitress’s phone number and Blake shrugged.

“That means you’re all mine,” I said, throwing my arms around his waist. He stared down at me, patted my back.

“Always.”

My heart fluttered and that one word meant more to me than Blake would ever know.

At the house, he promised to take me for a ride every year on my birthday.

I watched them take off and disappear down the street.

Then ran straight to my room and cried into my pillows until I fell asleep.

T
hankfully, my brother doesn’t have a lot of questions when I finally locate him and ask for a ride home. In fact, I think he’s relieved to get me away from the clubhouse.