More Than Miles (A Lost Kings MC Novel) (31 page)

“All right. Call her anyway. Keep her happy until this blows over.”

“Yeah, okay. She’s probably back at Sway’s. I’ll have her ride home with me.”

“Good. Let’s go see Sway. I need to have a chat with him anyway.”

I don’t ask. If Rock wants me to know, he’ll tell me.

“Prez, there’s another problem. No one outside of LOKI should’ve known about our sparring match. Not that quick anyway. But the cops asked me about it almost right away.”

“That ain’t good.”

“No, but this is worse. They knew Bull and I fought at
your
wedding. How the fuck would they know about that?”

“Don’t know. It’s not good, though.”

“They also asked some pointed question about the arson that went down when we visited Sway last year.”

“Fuck me.”

“Yeah.”

It’s a full house back at Sway’s place. Every member’s in the building. I head to my room, looking for Serena. I run into Tawny first.

“You seen Serena?” I ask.

She waves her hand down the hallway. “Took off with Shadow a few minutes ago,” she says with a fake
I’m sorry
face.

Anger, sickness, irritation, one of those emotions settles in the pit of my stomach. Serena and I sure as fuck aren’t exclusive, but we did just spend an entire weekend together. Did she really go fuck someone else while I was busy getting questioned at the police station?

Yup.

I didn’t realize Rock followed me down the hall, so we’re both standing there when Serena stumbles out of one of the rooms, wiping her mouth and fixing her hair. She freezes when she sees us.

Rock’s hand clamps down on my shoulder. “Talk to her,” he warns me in a low voice, reminding me there are bigger things at stake than my ego. “I’ll be out front.”

“Murphy? I didn’t realize you were coming back.”

“I’m back.”

“Everything okay?”

“Not really.” I nod at the door. “Who were you with?”

She glances at the floor. “No one.”

“Bullshit. Don’t lie, Serena. We ain’t a couple.”

“Shadow grabbed me out in the living room when the police dropped me off.”

“He force you?”

“No. Not really.”

I’m burning with a number of emotions. Anger, because while I doubt Shadow
forced
himself on her, I’m sure she felt like she didn’t have any other option and just went along. That blurry gray area of consent goes on in Sway’s clubhouse all the time. That shit doesn’t happen in ours. A girl says no or clearly isn’t into it, we move on.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

Her eyes widen. “Why are
you
sorry?”

“I just am. Come on, I need to talk to you.”

She follows me to my room and leans against the door once we’re inside.

“What’d the police ask you?” I ask while I change.

“If we were together. I told them we were side-by-side all weekend and only left the room to grab food.”

“Thanks.”

She shrugs. “It’s the truth.”

“I’m headin’ home in a bit. Do you need a ride?”

“You’ll still—you’re not mad at me?”

“I’m not thrilled, but it’s not like I ever gave you a reason to think we were together or something either.”

Tears fill her eyes. Why the fuck do I always seem to make girls cry?

“Thanks. Yes, I’d appreciate a ride home.”

“Give me a few minutes to collect my shit, and then I need to meet up with Rock.”

“Okay.” She turns to open the door.

“No. Wait here.” I’m not risking her taking off with someone else. In fact, I want to get her away from here, before someone talks her into changing her story and I lose my alibi.

Call it a gut feeling.

We meet up with Rock in front of the clubhouse.

“I’ll follow you up the Thruway,” I say, “but I’m gettin’ off at twenty-three to take her home.”

He nods at me. “I’ll stick with you.”

Obviously, Rock’s anxious about letting me ride alone. I always trust his instincts. Not that I would question my president anyway.

The ride goes by quick. I pull into Serena’s apartment complex, and she hesitates after she gets off. “Do you want to come in and talk?”

“I would, hon. But I need to get up to the clubhouse.” I tilt my head at Rock’s SUV patiently waiting by the exit.

“Oh, sorry. Yeah. Call me.”

Yeah, not happening.

Although, in her head it might not seem clear where we stand, in mine it’s crystal clear.

We’re done.

The ride itself is home.

“Y
ou okay, bro?” Teller asks outside Heidi’s hospital room door.

“Yeah.”

Haven’t seen Heidi in over six months. Not since her wedding day when I laid out my heart to her and she went ahead and married Axel. Teller called to let me know I was an uncle this morning, and I drove straight to the hospital without thinking.

Now, I stop to consider if I can really do this.

She’s not mine.

Not my baby she just had.

I still want to see her so bad, I feel it in my bones.

Teller’s waiting with his hand braced on my shoulder. Waiting to make sure I won’t do anything to upset his baby sister.

“I’m good, brother. I swear it.”

“Okay.”

He pushes the door open and suddenly I’m not okay. Not at all. Axel nods at us. Heidi glances at me and a pained smile turns the corners of her mouth up.

“Hey, Heidi-bug. How you doin’?”

Her smile turns a little more genuine. “Hey, Blake.”

Teller throws himself into a chair across from Heidi, leaving room for me to move closer.

“Congrats, man.” I shake Axel’s hand and try not to choke on the words.

“Thanks for coming.” He seems sincere. That’s the problem. Can’t even hate the guy.

“Hey, hon, I want to run down to the cafeteria. You want anything?” Axel asks Heidi.

She raises an eyebrow in a sweet, hopeful expression I remember her using to get her way when she was little. “Ice cream sandwich?”

“You got it.”

He glances at Teller and me. “Need anything?”

“Nah, but I’ll run down with you.” Teller pulls himself out of the chair and slaps my shoulder on the way out.

“So, where is she?” I ask after they leave.

Heidi gestures to the little rolling crib on the other side of the bed. Been so focused on her I didn’t even notice. Walking around the edge of the bed, I stop and stare down.

“Oh, shit, she’s pretty.”

Heidi chuckles.

I guess having me looming over her wakes the baby, and she waves her plump little fists in the air. Heidi reaches over and scoops her up.

“Can I hold her?”

She gives me a cautious look. “You ever held a baby?”

“Yeah,
you
. When you were little. I was only eight and didn’t drop you, so I think I can manage now.”

The memory I offered up doesn’t make her laugh like I intended. She sighs instead. Then leans down and presses a kiss to the baby’s cheek. “You want to meet your uncle Blake, little one?”

Swallowing over the lump in my throat is impossible.

“Meet Alexa Jade,” she says as she hands the baby over.

“Hi, Alexa.” I find myself babbling like an idiot to this teeny-tiny little person Heidi just handed over. “She’s so tiny.”

Heidi’s silent, so I glance up and find her red-faced, staring at the baby. “She was a little early.”

By the tone of her voice, it sounds like there’s more to it than that, but I don’t know the right questions for this situation. “She’s beautiful, Heidi.”

“Thank you.”

Alexa settles into my arms, letting me rock her back and forth. “How do you feel?” I ask Heidi without taking my eyes off the baby.

“Tired. Sore. But we’re going to be fine.”

This is fucking weird. I want to hug Heidi and the baby and do everything I can to make sure they’re safe and protected.

But I can’t. Heidi’s married to someone who isn’t me and has a baby who isn’t mine. It’s like she went from a child to an adult in the snap of two fingers, and I can’t catch up.

This isn’t the way I pictured our lives turning out.

“What have you been up to, Blake?”

“Not much. I was helping out downstate,” I say with a shrug.

“Marcel told me. Rock’s okay with that?”

“Yeah, he understood.” Shit, I wish I hadn’t said that.

“Are you coming back?”

Looking down at little Alexa’s sweet, chubby face, I know I won’t be able to stay away any longer. Even if being around her mom and dad kills me. “Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s good.”

“So, how’d you get a room to yourself?” I finally manage to meet Heidi’s eyes. A smile pulls the corner of her mouth up.

“I work at this hospital.”

“Really? Since when?”

“Well, I interned here over the summer. But they offered me a job after I graduate.”

It takes a second to find my voice again. “That’s great. Did you like it?”

“I loved it.”

“Think you’ll take the job or stay home with Alexa?”

For a second her eyes narrow, and I wait for her to snap at me. “They understand. I’m taking this semester off, so I’ll have some time to figure it out. The hospital has a really nice day care for employees. But Axel’s doing well at his job, so…I don’t know.”

“Are you happy?” I blurt out.

Her gaze strays to Alexa. “Yes.”

Alexa chooses that moment to scream her little head off.

“Holy shit. Some lungs on her.”

“She’s had people poking and prodding her all morning. She’s probably hungry now.” Heidi holds out her arms and I hand the baby to her.

“I’ll uh.” I drop into the chair in the corner and stare at the ceiling.

“Blake, I’m covered.”

“I’m fine.”

We’re interrupted by Hope opening the door. Her gaze goes right to Heidi. “Hi!” She rushes over and coos at the baby before noticing me.

“Murphy! Oh my gosh. When did you get here?”

“Little while ago. Teller called me this morning.”

“That’s great. Are you coming up to the property?”

“It’s my next stop.”

“Good. Rock will be so happy to see you.”

“You came here first?” Heidi asks.

“Of course.”

The corners of her mouth turn up and she holds her hand out for me to grasp. “Thank you,” she says. “I’m really happy…it was good to see you. I missed you.”

Hope takes a step away from the bed, giving us some privacy.

“Missed you, too, kid. I’m glad you’re okay…you’re happy.” I squeeze Heidi’s hand and take another look at Alexa. “If you need anything, let me know.”

“Thank you,” she whispers.

Regret? Relief? I’m not sure what settles over me as I leave the hospital. I point my bike southwest of Empire on the road to take me home. Half-way there, I take a detour to Fletcher Park, stopping at the overlook to stare at the view of Empire and the surrounding areas below. The last time I was here…
fuck it
. Everything reminds me of Heidi. Doesn’t matter where I am.

My mind’s blank as I leave the park and take the familiar back roads to the clubhouse. It’s the only place that’s ever truly felt like my home. How often will Heidi and the baby come up to visit? Fuck, that’s gonna hurt every single time I see her.