My Body-Mine (33 page)

“
Sure. Would you like some wine?”

“
Okay.”

Spreading the French doors wide open, I let the breeze cleanse me and bolster my resolve. The pool cover had been removed, so I slipped off my boots and sat at the shallow end with my feet on the first step, holding my skirt up so the hem wouldn’t get wet.

Luke dragged the lounge chair beside me, perched on the end of it, and handed me a glass.

“
You’re wearing the clothes I bought for you,” he said. He appeared pleased.

“
Seemed the most appropriate outfit for the occasion, nothing more. I don’t like spending money I don’t have on new things.” I took a sip of the crisp white wine and scanned the clear night sky.

“
I see. I saw Parker there with two guys. Who are they?”

“
The blond is Parker’s boyfriend, Andre. They’re now living together. The other guy is his best friend.”

“
And who is he to you?”

“
None of your fucking business,” I said, sounding more confident than I actually felt. I took in the sight of the beach by moonlight and breathed deeply, praying my pulse would go back to normal.

“
I saw him watching you the whole time.”

Glaring at him, I said, “How long were you there?”

“
Long enough.”

I shrugged, not sure what I wanted to say or hear from him. I waited.

“
How’s your mother? Sandy?” He took a long swallow from his glass and placed it down beside him.

I took a sip from my glass and looked up at Luke. “They’re both fine, but small talk? Really?”

“
What do you want to talk about?” he said, his expression sincere.

“
Why are you here?”

“
Why do you think?”

“
I can’t even imagine, Luke.”

“
To see you,” he said, finishing off his glass of wine.

“
Because you thought I sent the divorce papers?” I asked.

“
Those came after I arrived in Florida.”

It all made sense to me now. “After you talked to Marcello?” I asked.

“
Yes. How are things with him?”

“
Coming to an end,” I said.

“
Janice said the same thing.”

“
Yes, they seem to be in an odd place. With me gone they might sort things out. Of course, she’d still take you back in a second.”

“
And you?”

“
Take you back?” I laughed.

“
I’m serious.”

I buried my head in my lap and massaged my temples. This couldn’t be happening. “How long have you been here?” I said.

“
A few weeks.”

“
And I’m supposed to believe you came to Florida to see me?” I sat up, feeling my anger ignite. I took another sip of wine to settle myself.

“
That’s exactly why I’m here.”

“
You don’t go back. Isn’t that what all of you kept telling me over and over again?”

“
Something happened to me in Japan that made me see the truth,” Luke said, pouring more wine into his empty glass.

“
Yeah, and how many women did you have between throwing me to the curb and seeing the light?”

“
Zero.”

“
Yeah, right. I don’t believe that for a second. You couldn’t even keep your cock out of Janice’s mouth while we were together, and I’m supposed to believe you haven’t had sex for months and months?” I finished the glass of wine and held it out for more.

“
I did try once, but I couldn’t. Then I ended up in the hospital with what I thought was a heart attack. It turned out to be a severe panic attack.” He filled my glass and topped off his own.

“
Sorry to hear you were ill, but I don’t see what any of that has to do with me.”

“
The hospital insisted I see a psychologist, and after it happened a second time I finally agreed. The counselor told me I sabotaged the best thing that ever happened to me because of my past, which was really hard for me to believe because I never bought into all that psychobabble bullshit. But after talking to him, I realized I had come to a place where I didn’t want to share you anymore. I let Marcello convince me to have a party I never should’ve planned.”

“
How long have you had this all sorted out?”

“
A while, but I had assumed you’d never talk to me again.” He breathed out heavily and I saw sorrow in his eyes.

I would
not
let him melt my resolution. “So what prompted you to come back to the states?” I asked. The wine gave me courage to continue.

“
I’ve been living in Seattle for a while, but I still haven’t been able to move on. I flew to town but Marcello said you were doing so well together, that for your sake I should stay away. Janice told me the truth.”

“
I’m at a loss for words.” Not only was I unable to make sense of what I felt about Luke’s disclosure, but I didn’t know what I wanted to feel. My guard stretched up so high I couldn’t see over the regiment that lined the gate or see through the images of past experiences with Luke, Marcello, and Janice. My dream world and reality had collided and how could I possibly take that in? Fortunately a question jumped to the forefront. “Did Janice tell you why Marcello and I are finished?”

“
Janice said you witnessed her punishment at an event at the monastery and left, clearly upset. She assumed you realized that you didn’t want the same things as Marcello.”

“
Close enough. Just as I don’t want those things with you or anyone else.”

“
I honestly don’t know how to go about a
normal
relationship,” he said, “but I’m willing to try.”

“
Luke, I …” What could I say? I’d wanted to hear him say those words months ago, a lifetime ago. “I waited for you … at the stress unit … at Marcello’s … You never showed, never called, never apologized for breaking my heart, for breaking me.”

“
I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved you, the way I still love you. And I’m truly sorry for all of it, every last thing I did to make you feel like you weren’t the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. I can’t change what I’ve done, but if you give me the chance, I will spend every single day making it up to you.”

“
I don’t know,” I said, my mind spinning with conflicting thoughts and emotions.

“
Will you consider it?” He touched my leg, infusing me with that crazy energy that had always managed to tug, rend, and pick away at my resolve.

You know you’re in trouble when the first rationalizations start. The troops abandoned the gate and my fortress broke down as he pleaded his case.

“
Please, will you at least think about it?” He came toward me and took the glass of wine from my hand.

“
Oh, hell,” I said, and my determination to run away, to escape his magnetism, fled.

As he lifted me to him, I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist like I always had. He carried me inside and placed me on the kitchen counter, cupping my face in his palms. He kissed me and the rebellious tears flowed down my cheeks. Luke infused me with his energy, causing my heart to palpitate and my libido to rocket. My pussy heated up, and I could feel the wetness pooling in my panties. The chemistry I experienced at the hands of Luke had no rival. How could I fight it?

Marcello had offered both the excitement of danger and the promise of protection. Chase’s caresses made me feel comforted and connected with no need for a safety net. But Luke … Luke inspired total abandon, no matter what the consequences. I was beyond reason. In that moment, I didn’t want to sort out whether the intense attraction between Luke and me made us the ideal couple or the most dysfunctional.

“
Spend the night with me, Jane,” Luke murmured as he kissed away my tears.

“
I don’t think that’s a smart idea,” I said, staring into the gray eyes I hadn’t seen in such a long time. I touched his silky straight hair, moving it off his forehead.

“
Are you obligated to anyone?”

“
No … I … I don’t know what I want, and your kisses and touch, they confuse things.”

“
We have time to sort it all out. Just stay with me, give me the chance to love you, to make love to you.”

Throwing myself against him, I let all the pain and sorrow
he
had caused pour down my cheeks. As he held me tight I cried out the rejection I had suffered. He croaked apologies into my hair, as if feeling the pain of the sobs that racked my body and soul.

As my tears finally subsided and breathing settled, he ran soothing fingers down my back and cooed his love into my ears. He then carried me to our bedroom, putting me down at the foot of the bed. As he had the first time we’d ever made love, he slowly undressed me, folding my clothes in a neat pile on the dresser.

“
I have missed your body,” he said, hugging my legs as he crouched down to remove my skirt, “and your smell.” He nuzzled his nose between my legs next to my wet panties.

“
Mmmm,” I moaned and spread my legs for him.

“
So wet for me, my Janie. You’ve missed me too, I see,” he said as he slid his fingers under the elastic and dove two past my labia. He groaned like an animal in pain, and shifted the saturated cloth aside, licking the moisture off my clit. “Jesus, Jane.” As he gazed up at me, I could see the lust in his dilated eyes.

He stood, grabbed my wrists, and jerked them behind me as he conquered my mouth. Holding me captive, he schooled my tongue and lips to his manner of kiss. Stimulated to the point of intoxication, I followed his lead.

Breaking away from
the kiss
, he forced his jean
-
clad cock hard against my mound and said, “This is what you do to me.”

As he rolled his hips passionately against me, I cried out, “Oh god.”

“
Turn around,” he barked at me.

Quickly responding, I let him lift my blouse over my head. He took the time to fold it neatly and add it to the pile on the dresser. He unhooked my bra and let it slide down my arms. We both faced the mirror and watched as he reached around and tugged on my nipple piercings, the very ones he had forced me to get on our wedding day. “Oh, yes,” I said, my nipples fully erect from his play.

Clasping my shoulders, he spun me about to face him. I stood naked except for my panties, which still hung over to the side. Sinking down in front of me, he hooked his fingers on either side and rid me of that last bit of clothing. After placing my bra and panties on the stack, he quickly disrobed as I stood and watched. His firm, sinewy body looked just as I recalled, and his prominent erection patently stated his desire. I wanted to kiss his scar and finally hear the story of how it had happened.

Taking my hand, he led me back to the bed. Adoration glowed in his face as he guided me onto my back and lovingly memorized my entire physique.

“
I can’t believe you’re here,” he said, as he stretched out beside me.

“
I can’t either,” I said. Half of me expected to wake up at any moment, the other half couldn’t wait to feel him inside me.

Without speaking, we reached out to each other. I spread my legs, making myself vulnerable to his penetration as he rolled on top of me and obliged me with his rock hard cock. We groaned in unison as he fully seated himself atop me. The fit felt exquisite as he pounded my mound, and my hips met his every thrust. With every fiber of my being I wanted him there, clearing away the last remnants of pain and devastation he had caused.

I fucked the past away with each incursion, watching Luke watch me with profound admiration.

“
I can’t live without you anymore,” he said. Not waiting for a response, he swooped me up and positioned me on his lap in the middle of the bed. “Lean back so I can rub your clit,” he demanded.

I balanced on my forearms, keeping my head raised so I could watch his swollen cock slide in and out of me. Capturing wetness from my inflamed cunt, he swashed it around my clit and began to make circles in time with his penetrations.

Back and forth, he rotated his hips, searing me with his erection. I hovered on the edge of orgasm, holding off the detonation. Never could I have imagined that I’d ever again be fucking my husband, my mystery man from the past.

“
Oh my god, I can’t wait any longer,” I screamed in ecstasy as the edge of orgasm threatened to overtake me.

“
Now,” he roared.

As his energy erupted within me, filling me with heat and cum, I burst into a million little pieces, and like confetti I shot into the sky, scattering everywhere at once before ever so slowly falling to earth. I lay there with my eyes closed, floating in the rapture of orgasm. My pussy continued to convulse, every few seconds, around Luke’s cock. My body felt like mush, like all the muscles had melted in the heat of passion. I never wanted to be unearthed from that spot.

Never didn’t last for long because shortly thereafter, Luke moved us both to the head of the bed and spooned me to him. “I love you, Jane,” he said into my hair.

I just moaned, not wanting to think about what I had just done or the possible consequences. Instead I strove to enjoy the after-effects of sex for as long as I could. I drifted off, wafting in an orgasmic haze.

Waking up alone in the bed, as the sun shone through the windows, I had a slight headache from all the wine I’d consumed. I needed water and desperately had to pee. Sitting up in bed, I saw a note lying on Luke’s pillow.