My Body-Mine (35 page)

“
Oh my god, have you seen Luke?” Parker said as if the thought just struck her.

“
I have.”

“
Holy shit.”

“
Yeah, it was good, though.”

“
How the hell could seeing Luke be
good
?” she asked.

“
You’ll just have to trust me on that. I’m no longer the same person I was when I loved him and I got the closure I needed. Unfortunately, he is the one now who needs to recover.”

“
Holy shit,” she said again.

“
You already said that Parker.” I chuckled, because her palpable relief mirrored my own feelings.

“
Of course you can stay at my place. I didn’t take much of the furniture. You’ll need to turn on the refrigerator and the AC. I can meet you over there around four o’clock if that works for you.”

“
That sounds perfect.”

“
Wow, Jane, I can’t wait to tell Andre.”

“
Thank you, Parker.”

“
See you soon.”

“
Bye.”

I ended the call and immediately started packing up my belongings. It didn’t take long to gather my clothes and other personal items. Surveying the room for the last time, I thanked divine providence for keeping me safe and for the man who had loved me back to health. I hoped with all my heart that Marcello would stay a part of my life. Although we ultimately didn’t want the same things, Marcello was an incredible man and the best friend a woman could have when the chips are down.

I wanted to touch base with Chase and not leave his text unanswered, and I also wanted to check in with Janice. I hoped she and I could bridge the chasm between us and stay in touch.

Jumping onto Facebook, I saw the green dot by Chase’s name.

Jane:
You there?

Chase:
Alive and well.

Jane:
Very glad to hear it.

Chase:
And you?

Jane:
Better than I’ve ever been.

Chase: Oh?

Jane:
I’m moving into Parker’s house for a while.

Chase:
That’s closer to my place.

Jane:
Yes it is.


Chase:
Need help moving?

Jane:
Nope, just have a couple of bags.

Chase:
How did last night go?

Jane:
Really well but I’d rather talk about that in person.

Chase: Oh


Jane:
I signed the divorce papers and left them with Luke.

Chase: Oh


Jane:
LOL! Yes.

Chase:
So when do I get to see you?

Jane:
Soon.

Chase:
Still hiding?

Jane:
For just a bit longer.

Chase:
You know where to find me.

Jane:
Chase?

Chase:
Yeah?

Jane:
Thank you for giving me the time I need.

Chase:
You’re worth it.

Jane: :*

Chase:
A kiss for me?

Jane:
Many.

Chase:
Later, baby. :P

Jane:
Bye.

I carried my bags to the door, planning to find Janice before I took off to meet Parker, but Janice found me instead.

She wore red short-shorts and a black T-shirt, with her hair
pulled back
in a ponytail. Her face held no traces of makeup. “Are you going on a trip?” Janice asked.

“
I’m moving into Parker’s house. She’s living with her boyfriend now.”

“
Oh,” she said. Her shoulders dropped, and she plopped down on the brown leather couch. “I didn’t realize you were moving.”

“
I was just about to find you so we could talk. How are you doing?”

“
A little lost, really.”

“
I can understand that. I saw Luke yesterday.”

“
Fuck … really?” Janice’s eyes grew wide with both astonishment and concern. Was the concern for me or for herself?

“
Really, really,” I said. I sat down next to her, unsure of what I wanted to say.

“
How was that?” she asked.

“
Good and sad. It gave me the closure I needed. Do you plan to stay with Marcello?”

“
No, I think we’re both ready to part company.”

“
What will you do?”

“
I haven’t the foggiest.”

“
Did you know Luke is living in Seattle these days?”

“
I thought he was living here at the beach house.”

“
Yes, he is, but I don’t imagine he’ll be staying much longer.”

“
How is he?” Janice asked. She seemed so young and vulnerable, so very different than the woman I first met on my wedding night.

“
Lost as well. Maybe you should go see him.”

“
Uh, are you encouraging me to go to Luke? That wouldn’t bother you?”

“
I’ve asked him to sign the divorce papers and yes, I think he might need you. And maybe you need him too?”

“
I find it a little odd that you are playing matchmaker.”

“
Not as odd as I find it myself. He seems different and frankly, so do you. I want happiness for you both. Maybe I’m just being silly or a romantic, I don’t know, but when I spent time with him yesterday, I couldn’t help thinking of you.”

“
I don’t know what to say. You’ve always been so much nicer to me than I’ve been to you. I’m truly sorry I have let the men in our lives affect our friendship.”

“
Well, Janice, we had a rocky start.” I laughed.

“
Yeah, that’s true.” She smiled at me, and I could have sworn I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes that hadn’t been there just mere minutes ago.

“
Please stay in touch, okay?”

“
I promise.”

We stood and embraced. Part of me felt sad to be saying yet another goodbye. At the same time I felt the excitement that came with embarking on the next chapter of the saga I called my life.

* * * *

Settling into Parker’s cute cottage home took very little time, and as the days passed I realized a few things from living on my own again. I had missed being the master of my own fate, but I no longer liked living alone.

I received a call from Luke’s attorney informing me that Luke had signed the papers and would be vacating the house in a week. He asked me what I wanted done with furniture and other belongings, and I asked him to have it all removed. The next phase of my life was coming together much more quickly than I imagined, and I couldn’t wait to have the money to refurnish the beach house.
My
beach house.

As soon as the call ended, I opened my laptop in search of Chase.

Jane:
Hey, you!

I waited. Of course the one time I’m so impatient to find Chase, he’s not online.

Jane:
Helllllooooooo. Is anybody home?

I typed in the chorus of “Under Pressure,” knowing he would understand I was finally ready to give us a chance.

Jane:
Call me when you get this!

Practically jumping out of my skin, I settled on going for a run. I ran through the streets near Parker’s house, trying to ground and control some of the manic energy. The hot sun felt amazing accompanied by a cool winter breeze. I cut my run short, planning to stretch, shower, and drive over to Chase’s place.

As I jogged up the path to Parker’s house, I saw a very welcome guest sitting on the front steps. Although the run had elevated my heart rate, seeing Chase waiting for me sent it soaring. He looked amazingly sexy in his worn jeans and a charcoal blue fitted long-sleeved crew neck.

I ran the rest of the way into Chase’s arms, where he hugged me tightly. Then he spun us around, finally placing me down on my feet.

“
Are you stalking me?” I said, smiling from ear to ear.

“
Andre told me where to find you. So you’re finally done hiding?”

“
Absolutely, done, over,
finito
,
fini
!
”

“
You must really mean it if you said it in three languages.”

“
I didn’t want there to be any misinterpretation.”

“
You
are
a funny girl!”

“
Woman, dude. Will you ever get it right?”

“
How many years do I have to try?”

“
As long as I can put up with you?” I said, bumping him with my hip, unable to keep a straight face.

“
Someone needs a tickling.”

“
Someone needs a shower first.”

“
Can I watch?”

“
I’ll think about it.” I winked and unlocked the door.

I wanted Chase sexually in every way imaginable but not in Parker’s bed. I couldn’t see the harm of showering together, though. We took our shoes off by the door, and Chase followed me into the bathroom.

“
Care to join me?” I asked.

“
You don’t have to ask me twice,” he said as he started peeling off his clothes.

His chest and stomach were so cut, they rippled. A smattering of sun-bleached hairs on his chest caused my hand to tremble with the desire to test their softness. As he raised his arms, I could see his lats expand out from his sides. My eyes helplessly tracked the chiseled lines that ran from his obliques into his low slung jeans. Watching him unbutton his pants caused me to groan out loud. He wore no underwear.

“
I had no idea,” I said, in awe of his muscular physique.

His cock, shorter than either Marcello’s or Luke’s but not by much, was the thickest I had ever seen. Precum drooled out of the tip and I did what any sensible woman would do, I knelt before Chase and tasted him.

“
Yum,” I murmured, with the tip of his shaft still in my mouth. I trailed my tongue around his flared deep rim and cupped his balls in my right hand.

“
Jesus, Jane,” he hissed. “Your turn,” he said as he lifted me up to stand before him.

I quickly shed my sports bra, tank, and running shorts.

“
Holy crap,
I forgot
your nipples are pierced.”

“
What do you think?” I said, swiveling my hips from side to side.

“
Fuck, you’re hot!” he said, as he stalked toward me, lifting me up onto the bathroom sink.

He overwhelmed me with his kiss, not bothering with the buildup of smaller pecks. The heat of his desire ignited around me, burning me with lust wherever he touched. I wrapped my legs around his ass, pulling his rigid phallus against my saturated flower. I craved this man before me in every way imaginable. It felt like it would take a lifetime to quench the thirst he’d instilled in me.

Chase twisted the hair at the base of my head, causing me to arch my neck and gaze directly into his eyes. “You are so fucking sexy, Jane. I want to learn everything about your body, drive you crazy with the most intense orgasms, and fuck you until you can’t take anymore.”

I yearned for his cock to fill me, stretching me to fullness with its girth, but I had to tell him about Luke first.

“
I want that too, but I need to tell you something.”

“
Okaaaay,” he said, the word stretched out slowly between us. “Is this about Luke?”

“
Yes,” I said. “First let me say this: I’m in love with you. I have been for far longer than I was willing to admit. And when you told me you were upset to find yet another man in line in front of you, I completely dismissed it because it didn’t seem like the truth but—”

“
You fucked him … isn’t that what you’re trying to say.”

“
I did have sex with him that night but I—”

“
Who ended it? You or him?”

“
I did. He wanted me back and I said no.”

Chase combed his fingers through his hair and exhaled heavily. “I need some time,” he said, pulling his jeans on.

“
Can’t we talk about this? That night with him freed me to love again, to take the risk. And I knew it was you, only you I wanted to be with. Afterwards I didn’t think of what came next for Luke and me, only how you’d feel about me spending the night with him.”

“
You mean fucking him,” he said, anger and hurt in his words.

“
Yes, but for me it was more a letting go, not only of Luke, but the past and all the shame that came with it. I’m not expecting you to appreciate it in the same way I do, but possibly to understand why I did it and what it means for us moving forward.”

I slipped down off the sink, watching Chase tug his shirt back on.

“
When you love somebody and they choose to fuck someone else before you, it’s hard to take.”

“
I understand that, truly I do, but there were extenuating circumstances and I can’t regret it, because it freed me to love you. Wholly, fully, and completely.”

I heard myself and realized how those words must sound to Chase—like some kind of New Age bullshit. Should I have told him at all? I knew what the encounter meant to me—simply a finale with Luke—but Chase would see it as a betrayal, pure and simple. I winced, praying that I hadn’t ruined it with him once and for all.