My Heart Can't Tell You No (23 page)

“I don’t want it!” he breathed loudly, bringing a laugh from Maddie and Bob as well as most of the people watching.

This time it landed in Lew’s son’s hands. Lewis Jr. was seventeen and quite ready to show his manhood. Maddie almost laughed at the thought. He was a gawky teenager at best.

Bob had more champagne, then switched to beer, chugging down the contents of his mug and glancing over at her. She was feeling anxious about the amount he was downing. She didn’t know Bob to be a heavy drinker.

“Bob, can we leave? I’m not feeling very well,” she lied.

“Any time you’re ready.” He took her arm and started for a back exit to avoid the crowd at the front that would hinder their escape.

It was a short drive to his house, and Maddie didn’t hesitate going straight inside and up to the bedroom. It was a hot, muggy, summer night and the gown was becoming unbearable. She expected this night to be the night Bob would take what was rightfully his. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but she would no longer deny him either. He was doing a lot, taking her and her baby in like this. She would try her damnedest to be a good wife to him. As she undressed, she listened to the clink of bottles as he got another beer from the refrigerator. He would probably be up soon. She turned off the light and got in bed, pulling the sheet up over her nakedness while she waited for him. But Bob never came to her that night, and she fell asleep within half an hour after lying down. When she went downstairs the next morning she found him passed out on the sofa with at least eight empty bottles on the floor near him.

July 1984

As Maddie pulled up to Lew’s house, she saw Joe sitting in his truck. He couldn’t have been the man she had seen with that woman; he couldn’t have made it back here ahead of her. She felt a flood of relief at that knowledge, then scolded herself for caring at all. She stepped out of her car, seeing his engine still running. He sat with his legs out the open door, idly smoking a Camel.

“Who was that back there?” Joe kept his eyes on the red tip of his cigarette.

“What?” She moved toward him, smelling the beer in the truck. Lew had stopped drinking some time ago—she knew Joe hadn’t gotten it here.

“The guy that felt you up and kissed you. What’s his name?”

“What are you . . . ? Were you at the store when I was leaving?”

“Yeah. I thought I’d come over and escort you back here. I didn’t realize you had your own personal escort just waiting in there with you. What’s his name?”

“Rodney James.” She eyed him suspiciously then alarm flowed through her. “Is there something wrong with the boys?”

“No. Are you really concerned? You promised them to come here today, then jumped at the chance to go see
RJ.
I can only imagine what kept you until nine-thirty. He must work fast.”

She sighed as she looked up at the windows of the house. She had started it when she insinuated
RJ
was a man. Rodney’s initials were purely coincidental.

“Do I have to look over my shoulder from now on? I thought things would be easier now that you’ve gone back to work. But if it’s coming down to you following me, I can just as easily live in town as in the country.”

“That certainly would make things easier for you, wouldn’t it? You could dump your kids off on any old neighbor while you go out with RJ.”

“That’s none of your business. And I didn’t dump Jackie and Robby off on anyone today. They were promised that they could come, so I let them come in with Tom. And, as for what I do with my evenings—that is my business.” She turned and went into Lew’s house for her sons.

Joe had been looking forward to the small get-together all week. His job was taking some getting used to. Things were starting to change rapidly. With the changes people worked extra hours, and sometimes things were not as safe as they should be. At his job, a minor mistake could prove fatal. The chance to relax in a friendly atmosphere with Maddie in the same room seemed glorious, but when he arrived and found that she had received a call from RJ and had left, his disappointment was overwhelming. He waited all afternoon and well into evening, then couldn’t wait anymore; he needed to see her. He intended only to visit her at the store, then drive back to Lew’s behind her, but as he stood in front of the store, at about eight-thirty, the sight of a man very close to Maddie’s age talking with two elderly women stopped him from entering. He was surprised to see the man take their money, then box their purchases, but he recognized that, in a town such as this, the owners of small establishments often helped wait on customers. It was after the two women left that he saw Maddie walk up one aisle and Wonder-Boy slide his hand possessively around her waist. That was when he walked down the street to a corner bar and picked up the six-pack. He returned to his truck and pulled around to the back. He was still prepared to follow her to Lew’s, since he was already there, but after the scene in the parking lot, and watching the man follow her in his Datsun, he turned back to Lew’s without her. He was too angry to go up to the house. She had done it to him before. It would kill him if he was too late and she was doing it again.

CHAPTER XI
 

January 1977

J
oe had turned twenty-eight the previous week. In two more months Maddie would be eighteen and he could go back for her. It was bitter cold as he rushed through the door of his apartment to escape the biting wind. Felicia ran up to him, jabbering about what she and Ollie had done that day; her brother smiled as he looked up from the blocks he was piling into a mountain. Their mother was on the sofa, reading a magazine.

“It’s about time you got home. I’ve been wanting to talk to you all day.” Lena slapped the magazine on the coffee table and looked up at him through amused eyes.

“What about?” His attention was already caught up with Felicia, who was hugging his neck tightly.

“Daddy. Ollie’s building a new house for us!”

“Is he? Who’s going to live in it?”

““You, me, and Ollie,” she told him as she squirmed until he sat her back on the floor and she ran to show him her brother’s accomplishment.

“Of course.” Lena moved to stand behind her children, wearing an expression that made Joe think she was about to kick the blocks clear into the kitchen. Instead, she brushed past them to pick up a cigarette. “You may be getting your dream house sooner than you think, Felicia.”

The girl ignored her, but Joe’s attention was rising.

“What do you mean by that?” Joe asked calmly.

“I want that divorce you suggested last year.”

She could have knocked Joe over with a feather after that. He looked at her in astonishment, then the suspicion set in. “Why?”

“I want to get married again. Why else?”

“What about me? Am I free to do as I please?”

“As of this moment. The sooner the better.”

“Okay,” he said slowly, still not believing her. “What about the kids?”

“I’m taking them, but you’ll have visitation when you want.”

“Oh no! You’re not raising these kids. I’d rather put them in a home first!”

“I said I’m taking them, I’m not
keeping
them. They’re going to live with my parents.”

That idea didn’t strike him so hot either, but it was better than living with her. “And if I refuse?”

“No divorce—simple as that.”

“Nothing’s simple with you. But I’ll take your conditions. I’ll move out as soon as the kids are at your parents and I see the paper that says they have custody.”

“How does right now sound?” She handed him some papers. “You can look them over if you like. But I’ll tell you in case that thick head of yours can’t understand. Incompatibility. The other paper says you agree to give custody to my parents. Otherwise we can wait until your sweet Madelyn turns twenty-eight instead of eighteen.”

It didn’t bother Joe anymore when she called him stupid; he realized she was only doing it to irritate him. He remembered very well the fact that he had graduated in the top tenth of his class, while she squeaked through in the bottom third. “When do we do it?”

“The lawyer is waiting. He gets all the signatures in his office.”

They packaged the children in their pink and blue snowsuits and in a flash strapped them in the car, and they were on their way to the lawyer’s office. Within half an hour Joe was working his way through a sheaf of documents declaring “irreconcilable differences” as his ticket to freedom.

“I can leave,” he almost sighed after his final signature. “What about the kids. I’m not leaving them here with you.”

“
Fine
. Take them down to Mom and Dad’s yourself then.”

“Today?” He narrowed his eyes again.

“Don’t worry, Joe. I can’t exactly bring up kidnapping charges when you’re going to drop them off at my own parents’ house. And, Joe, that Green kid called yesterday. He asked if you could stop in tonight. The Bakers will be there and he wanted you to come. I’m sure you’ll be eager to go.”

“Tonight?” he asked suspiciously.

He didn’t wait for her to answer. He just knew he was going home. Felicia and Ollie’s maternal grandparents were waiting for them when Joe got back to his hometown. He stayed with them for about an hour after everything was unpacked. Soon Lena would tire of her vendetta and he could have his children back, so leaving them there wasn’t as bad is it might have been. He left reluctantly though, torn by the desire to stay with his children and the desire to go in search of Maddie. But he knew the Johnsons would take care of them and he was welcome to visit anytime he wanted, taking them every other weekend once he got a permanent place of his own.

He went directly to Bob’s house. He hadn’t talked to him in almost a year—nine months in fact, so why Bob would want Joe to come to his house, he couldn’t figure. But if Maddie was going to be there, so would he. When he pulled up in front of the green half-double house, there was only one car parked there, and it was Bob’s.

He walked up the steps to the porch, hearing a radio playing and some hammering coming from the second floor. He knocked loudly, but the hammering didn’t stop. He knocked again; this time there was a response.

“Wait a minute. I’ll be right down!” Bob called, then within a few seconds opened the door, looked at him with surprise, then stepped to the side for him to enter. “Come in. Come in. You’ll freeze out there.”

“It snowed down here.” Joe could think of nothing else to say.

“You could say that.” Bob smiled as he closed the door. “Almost two feet and its been here since the beginning of the month. The crust is so hard we can walk on it. They have warnings to keep inside. Don’t they have it up north?”

“The snow—no. The frostbite alert—yes.”

“Well, what brings you down this way? Come on, I’ll get you a beer.” Bob moved toward the kitchen.

“I brought the kids down to stay with their grandparents.” Joe noticed the house as he walked through it; two big rooms, a stairway, and a dining room that was separated from the kitchen by a bar-like counter. He took a seat in the corner of the kitchen.

“Take off your coat and relax.” Bob went to the refrigerator, his sudden friendliness making Joe suspicious. “You going out to see John and Tom?”

“Probably. Why?”

“We were just talking about you the other day. Remembering the time we were all playing darts and decided to take the game over to the Bakers’ house. I carried the board, and Tom put the darts in his back pocket and everyone got on their bikes and started over. Except Tom. His bike had a flat tire, remember?”

Joe smiled at the memory. “Yeah. Tom got on the back fender of my bike and I hauled him. But when we hit that bump coming off the covered bridge, he flew off.”

“Remember how red his face got? He was only eight and you were eleven, but he was ready to half kill ya.”

“I didn’t blame him. Those darts went in almost the full two inches.”

“Remember how we all just stood back, trying not to laugh loud enough for Tom to hear when Jackie pulled them out of his butt?” Bob asked.

“I remember how we couldn’t keep quiet when we got back to Mom’s and she made him drop his pants so she could put disinfectant on it.”

“Yeah, and Jackie started whistling until Tom ran after him. Hell, he must have chased him halfway across the hill, holding his drawers up with one hand the whole way,” Bob laughed, then his face slowly sobered to only a trace of a smile as he stared at his beer bottle. “Boy, those were the days. Sometimes I just wish I was back to being eight and Jackie was a whopping twelve. I miss Jackie. Been almost seven years and I still miss him.”

Joe didn’t know what to say to him. Jackie had been a part of their five-member brotherhood. The leader in all respects. He was the only one to know that their strong, capable leader was not as strong as everyone believed.

A voice came from the front of the house, along with a gush of wind. “Bob! I swear, if you don’t learn to park your car soon, I’ll drive in and dent your shiny little fender on purpose.”

“You will not,” Bob called back, starting through the house to meet Maddie, but when Joe got up to accompany him, Bob stopped him. “No, we’ll be right out. Wait here.”

Joe sat still, waiting for Maddie to come into view. He knew how Bob felt about her and didn’t want to embarrass him by taking the girl into his arms in front of him. Bob was in and out in a flash, carrying a small bag of groceries as he re-entered the kitchen. After putting the bag on the counter, Joe saw the books under his arm. His interest perked. Was Maddie coming here to do her homework? He knew that Bob had been pretty swift in high school and could probably help her, but Jack Baker was no dummy either. As a matter of fact, it was Jack who had helped Joe get through English and Math with flying colors. When he turned toward the front of the house he saw Maddie standing behind the bar, holding onto it with her left hand as she removed her shoes. She still hadn’t seen him, so he slowly got up from the table and walked toward her. He was five feet from the bar that separated them when the ceiling light reflected off of something metallic on her hand. His gaze fastened on that small piece of metal, not wanting to believe it, unable to believe it. His hand clamped on the top of the bar, trapping her fingers in an iron grip.

“Joe!” It was a breathless exclamation from the other side of the semi-wall; her eyes turning huge.

“What do you call this?” His voice was terse, his temper escalating.

“It’s my ring. What does it look like?” She snatched back her hand, then went about removing her other shoe.

He turned slightly, looking at the flushed expression on Bob’s face. What was it? Guilt? Embarrassment? He wasn’t sure, but when he looked at the younger man’s hand he saw the matching band.

“You didn’t tell me Joe was here.” Maddie smiled up at Bob. “Is he staying for dinner?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask yet.”

“Some host. Would you like to stay for dinner, Joe? There’s more than enough.”

He turned swiftly to stare at her with flaming eyes. How could she? For nine months he’d been living in hell. He hadn’t touched another woman; hadn’t even wanted to
look
at another woman! And she ups and gets Goddamn married! She stood at the end of the bar to go through the mail neatly laid out for her. Her smile, as she glanced up at him before continuing with the mail, sent jolts through him. His eyes moved down over her until the bar hid most of her body from his view. There was something different. Her chest! Her chest was bigger! How in the hell . . . .

“Well, Joe? Are you going to answer me or just stand there? You’re always welcome.” Maddie put down the mail and walked toward the kitchen, the sight of her ballooned figure coming into view as she passed him.

“You’re pregnant!” This time it was Joe who released a breathless exclamation.

“I am?” Maddie said with mock surprise as she pulled a pack of hamburg from the refrigerator and put it on the counter next to the stove, then reached for some tomato sauce on a top shelf in the cupboard. “Could you get that down, Bob? I knew something was wrong. Now we know, don’t we? I’m pregnant.”

“How far?” Joe stared across the kitchen at them.

“Eight months.” Bob spoke up instantly.

His mind calculated quickly, but each time he came up with his answer, he tried again. “You don’t look it. You look too big for eight months.”