My Life Without Garlic (13 page)

“And you and he could have worked out such details, perhaps arranged it so you would visit him on certain days, and bring him here on others.” Claude gave him a disappointed look. “But, no. You had to forget that speech is a human gift. You clammed up like a, well, a clam, and let him go.”

“But he—”

Claude pointed at him. “No. This is not about what Augustin did or didn’t do. This is about you and your refusal to act. Are you afraid of your feelings?”

Tony thought about it. He wasn’t afraid of them, but rather— “I was afraid he would laugh at me. Or at least not feel the same.”

Claude tutted at him.

Tony couldn’t hold his gaze.

* * * *

It happened so fast, too fast. Augustin looked around his place, his bag filled with his favorite goodies on his arm. It had been his retreat, his source of comfort, to be surrounded by things he loved.

But now they were all just
things.
“Stupid fucking things. Ugh!”

Two days back in his home, and he wasn’t any happier than when he’d been dropped off.

Less happy, in fact. His usual pretties weren’t helping him feel one goddamn bit better.

His cell phone chimed and he muted it. The last thing he wanted then was to talk to his mom. She was still convinced he just hadn’t met the right girl. He was tired of banging his head against that particular wall of hopelessness.

He still couldn’t believe Tony hadn’t said anything. Nothing. Not one little word. Not even ‘bye’.

And most definitely not ‘stay’.

Augustin walked to the window where all hell had broken loose. Looking out from it, no one would ever have the slightest clue what had happened.

No one would care if he left.

“Jesus. Could I be any more pathetic?” Augustin snarked.

Only it didn’t come out with that biting tone, and his voice broke a little bit. And he could be more pathetic, because that wasn’t sweat rolling down his cheek.

Augustin swiped at it then rubbed his eyes. It wasn’t like he’d asked Tony to come with him, or like he had wanted Augustin to stay.

In fact, he’d left without saying a word to Tony, too.

Fuck, but he was an idiot sometimes! What if Tony had been waiting for him to say something? Or… Or he’d wanted Augustin to be able to have a regular life because hadn’t Augustin said something about that?

Maybe if he hadn’t spent the last two days curled up in bed feeling sorry for himself, he’d have thought of this shit sooner. Then again, everyone deserved to have those ‘broken heart, stay in bed and eat a lot of Haagen-Dazs’ days. He wasn’t ever going to admit how many of those Sea Salt Caramel gelato containers he’d emptied. Ever.

But it was days like those that made a person realize what they’d lost. He’d given up on Tony. Tony might have been the same, sniveling coward inside that Augustin was.

They might be a perfectly pathetic pair.

Augustin hadn’t wanted to be the first to admit to liking Tony,
a lot.
Maybe even more than liking him a lot. Especially after all the fit-throwing he’d done.

Which… He could see how that’d give Tony the impression that he wasn’t interested in more.

Augustin tapped his fingers against the window. Then again, for all he knew, he was projecting his feelings into Tony. Or onto him. Or something that was wackadoodle wrong.

Hell, he was a mess. Tomorrow he absolutely had to go to work or he’d be fired. He could only fake being sick for so long.

And his Haagen-Dazs was going to melt if he kept standing there at the window feeling sorry for himself. He took a container from the bag and popped the lid off. The gelato was already soft to begin with, so now it had a nice rim of melted gooeyness to it. He put the rim to his lips and slurped. Fuck it, a spoon was too far off and he needed heartache relief now.

He walked away from the window, wondering if Tony had any of the same doubts and regrets as he did.

Augustin scooped out gelato with his finger.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Tony wanted everything to be just right—his words, his contrite expression, his appearance.

“Stop stalling and go,” Claude advised. “Practicing pretty words is a waste of time. Simply let your heart speak.”

Tony bit back a snide comment, something along the lines of how Claude should follow his own advice, but of course he couldn’t and Tony didn’t need to be bitchy. It wouldn’t help either of them and pettiness was just not something he wanted to foster in himself.

Though oddly enough, he liked it when Augustin was full of snark and venom. He knew it covered up a gooey inner core no matter what Augustin would have people think.

Tony gave himself one quick inspection—it was times like then that he’d have killed to be able to see his own reflection in anything. Sure, he could stand in front of a mirror, but it skeeved him out to see clothes there with no body or head, as much as he’d loved that kid’s book he read every so often just because he enjoyed it. There was something that resonated in him when he read that book
with its spooky, empty, pale green pants with nobody inside them… He’d never wanted to
be
those pants.

But the black denim and dark gray shirt looked good. His black, thick-soled boots made him feel like a badass. Or at least moderately cool.

Maybe a little sexy.

“Oh for the sake of
my
sanity, go!” Claude added a slap to his ass that made Tony yelp.

Claude made shooing motions with his hands. “You are making all of mankind—and I mean the males—look like gutless wimps.”

Well.
Tony turned his nose up at Claude. “Whatever you say bounces off me—”

Claude kicked him.

“Ow!” His shin throbbed from the impact of Claude’s shoe.

Claude smirked. “Next time I will kick you harder.”

Tony rubbed his knee while hobbling to the stairs. “You’re evil.”

“You’re scared. Don’t be. He’ll want you.”

There wasn’t much Tony could say to that. Claude was right about him being scared. Actually, scared was probably putting it exceedingly mildly.

This was the most important thing Tony had done.

And somehow he’d bobbled it in the first round. He wouldn’t screw it up this time.

Tony went down the stairs and opened the front door. The night was one of those stunningly beautiful ones with a sky so filled with stars and a moon so big and bright it could almost have passed for daylight.

It was as close as Tony would get to seeing it without agonizing burns. Since he’d just been that route chasing after Augustin, he wasn’t ever going to step out into the sun again, even if he were triple-wrapped in UV-proof clothing.

He turned to glance at Claude. “This is going to work.”

“Of course it will.” Claude nodded too, as if to be doubly encouraging.

Tony turned and changed for the trip. However it worked, his clothes would be on him when he resumed his larger form.

And damn it all, but he just heard Claude say, “You’ve got a bit of toothpaste—” right as the change from man to bat occurred.

That fucker did it on purpose!

Tony knew it, because Claude shut the door in his batty little face right after that.

Asshole! Ugh!

The best he could do would be to wash his whole face off before he knocked on Augustin’s door. Or window, depending on where Augustin was. Tony kind of liked the idea of using the window, albeit without demolishing it.

Either way, he was going to do everything in his power to get Augustin back. They could compromise, or… Tony would move his coffin into Augustin’s place. Something, anything, as long as they didn’t end their relationship.

* * * *

“Well, wasn’t
that
pleasant,” Augustin grumbled as he unlocked the door to his place. He mimicked his back-stabbing shit of a former friend Donny. “I should have just hung out with Tommy and Georgie. Donny’s always such a jerk! ‘
Oh wow, Augustin, I don’t think any of us even noticed you were gone! We’ve been so busy!’”
He flapped his hand and rolled his eyes. “Vicious little bitch. Donny always thinks he’s so clever. No one would miss his nasty ass if I sold him to some rogue vampires on the black market. There just
has
to be something like that going on.” Although…he didn’t really want rogue vampires ever knowing about his existence. “Maybe a zombie’ll find him.” They existed, Tony had said so.

Augustin went inside then closed the door. He leaned on it and thumped his head against it. How many times had he thought of Tony today? How many times had he told himself to stop it? He thunked his head harder. He was an idiot, that’s what he was.

After another good whack, he left off the self-abuse—the only good kind of that was the hairy-palms version anyway—and made his way to the kitchen. The numerous ice cream containers in the trash elicited enough guilt that he only pulled out some kale for his dinner. He’d have loved to make up a fresh batch of spaghetti with lots of garlic pasta sauce, but every time he thought of his favorite sauce, he thought of Tony. “Salad. Salad’s good. I’ll have garlic tomorrow.” He loved garlic.
I love…
“No, no, no. Stop thinking about it. I love garlic!”

Augustin firmly put away thoughts of love. There was food to be eaten. “Healthy, yummy food.” He eyed the salad. “Oh, who am I kidding? It’s never going to taste as good as pizza or pasta or garlic sauce.”

He took a bite and forced himself to keep the food in his mouth rather than spitting it out. It tasted pretty rank without any dressing, but he’d eaten a million calories in gelato over the last few days. He deserved the punishment of only healthy food for the rest of his life. Augustin shuddered and munched on some more rabbit food. Maybe if he juiced it…

Just the idea of it made him gag. He used to eat alone all the time. Now it felt weird. He missed the rampant babbling in another kitchen that had been filled with people. He missed…
No. No going there
.

Augustin gave those empty containers a mournful look. What would one more carton hurt? He could run down to the store and grab one—okay, two—of them. He’d pick up some strawberries or some other fresh fruit for topping. That’d make it healthy, right?

“Yeah. That would do it.” He was going to lie to himself until he could go five minutes without thinking about Tony. “And fuck this shit.” He tossed the kale in the trash. He was going after the Sea Salt Caramel again.

Augustin was almost to his car when something flew by his head. He shrieked, ran, and escaped from whatever that thing had been. He had a goal, and no fly-by-night bird or bat was going to stop him now.

Chapter Twenty-Five

No fucking way!
Tony couldn’t believe it! He’d been prepared to knock on Augustin’s door or window, and here Augustin was, almost running outside, like he knew Tony was there, coming for him! It had to be fate or—

Tony reached for Augustin.

Augustin shrieked loud enough to screw Tony’s entire innards up, he was so rattled—and ran past him to a car.

That was when Tony thought that, just maybe, he should have changed forms before approaching Augustin. Not many humans welcomed a dive-bombing bat with open arms.

He couldn’t even remember if Augustin knew that vampires turned into bats at will. Though, considering all the correct clichés and vampire stereotypes about them, he should.

Tony flapped after the car but it was going too fast. He hoped Augustin wasn’t going far. Or out to a club, or meeting up with some ho he met on one of those phone apps, or Craigslist, or—

He’d been wearing an ill-fitting suit and a crookedly knotted tie. Surely if he’d been looking to get laid, he’d have changed into something someone else would have found more enticing.

Tony would swear to whatever gods did or didn’t exist that he thought the suit made Augustin look like a stud. He wasn’t stupid. Besides, Augustin’s butt looked good in anything.

A bug caught Tony’s attention. While he couldn’t eat human food, as a bat…

By the time Augustin’s car came back into view, Tony was stuffed. He winged his way into the darkest shadows and switched forms.

Augustin was hustling it, muttering about flying nuisances and Haagen-Dazs.

Tony watched him for a second or two then stepped out of the shadows when Augustin was close.

“Fuck!” Augustin screeched, swinging the bag he’d been holding right at Tony’s head.

Tony didn’t even have time to duck. The impact of what felt like a bag full of bricks hitting his noggin knocked Tony off his feet and tipped him backward.

“My ice cream! You—” Augustin snapped his mouth shut so firmly his teeth clacked.

Tony’s ass had made contact with the ground and that had jarred him all the way up from his tailbone to the top of his skull. He’d have rubbed where it hurt but was short about three pairs of hands. His vision was a little swimmy, yet even so he could see the shock on Augustin’s face. Tony’s rehearsed speech must have gotten knocked right out of his head. He couldn’t think of a word from it. “Hi.”

Augustin must think he was a total idiot.

Tony gulped and started to get up. He noticed the half-dozen containers on the ground and got on his knees instead so he could pick up the ice cream.

Augustin squatted a second later and reached for him with a shaking hand. “Tony?”

Tony stopped mid-grab of a container. He looked at Augustin. “I’m sorry. I should have said—”

“I could have, too.” Augustin bit his lip, then licked it before resting his hand on Tony’s arm. “You aren’t the only one who suffers from fear of rejection.”

As much as Tony would have liked to deny that description, he couldn’t. “I didn’t want you to leave.”

Augustin grinned at him. “I assumed, what with you being here now and—” His amusement fled. “Wait a minute. You were the bat!”

“Yeah I— God, this is embarrassing.” Tony swiped his hands over his face. “The thing is, I, um. I saw you and kind of just forgot that I was all flappy. I wanted to touch you.”