My Life Without Garlic (12 page)

Tony brushed at a clean spot by the side of Augustin’s mouth. “No.”

Augustin frowned, then he turned his head quickly and sucked Tony’s thumb into his mouth. The flick of tongue, the hard suction—both conspired to make Tony’s dick perk up and beg for attention.

Augustin released his thumb. “That’s impressive,” he said, gesturing to Tony’s groin. “You know, I was watching you while you, er, slept. Your chest moved, just barely.”

Tony propped himself up on one elbow, confused as to where Augustin was going with this. “And? I breathe.”

“I guess I didn’t think you had to,” Augustin said. “Didn’t you die?”

“It doesn’t work that way.” Tony sat up all the way and leaned against the headboard. “Clod—damn it—Claude didn’t kill me. He just drained most of my blood out. Granted, I’d have died if he hadn’t given me his blood in return, but I didn’t die. I don’t know how all this”—he waved a hand in front of himself—“works, but it does. I’m alive. I didn’t die. I breathe.”

Augustin’s confusion was clear in his expression. “The coffins—”

“Are ventilated,” Tony interrupted. “We’d suffocate otherwise. Look closely at them next time.”

“Pass.” Augustin shuddered. “Why do you sleep in them?”

“I didn’t yesterday or today,” Tony pointed out.

“Everyone else did.”

Tony sighed. “Fine. It’s comfortable, and it’s more of a habit than anything else. We’re pretty much out of it when we sleep. Maybe our respiratory system slows down more or something, I don’t know. Waking one of us up can be difficult. I was jazzed on my sire’s blood yesterday, so I didn’t have to sleep. But some of the mates, most of them as far as I know, find it creepy to see their lover so…unwakeable.”

Augustin plopped down beside him. “You didn’t wake up when Abernathy was here.”

Tony’s possessiveness—okay, jealousy—reared its green little head. “Abernathy was here?”

“He’s a friend,” Augustin said with a hint of defensiveness. “Nothing wrong with him being here.”

But Tony wanted to growl and argue otherwise, right after making sure Abernathy knew Augustin was his. That was stupid—Abernathy had a mate. “I’m glad he kept you company.”

Augustin rolled his lips in.

“What?” Tony asked, alarms dinging in his head. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“How committed are mates to each other?” Augustin asked.

Tony sat, growling as he shoved the sheet off.

Augustin shoved him back none too gently. “Oh calm down, for God’s sake. I wasn’t asking because he was coming on to me. And for the record, jealousy might be nice in theory, but in practice—no. I don’t like it, not from either end.”

Tony lightly thumped his head against the headboard. “Sorry, sorry.” He just wasn’t used to caring about someone like he did Augustin. “Besides Claude, I really don’t have a lot of experience with relationships.” He wanted to slap himself as soon as he had said it. Tony closed his eyes.

Augustin grabbed him by the chin, at the same time straddling his lap. “Oh no you don’t, asshole. Open your eyes. You don’t get to say something like that then hide away like a toddler. And just because you can’t see me doesn’t mean I can’t see you.”

Tony peeked out of one eye.

Augustin snickered. “Seriously, I’m supposed to be the melodramatic one here. Now open them both.”

Tony did, though not very much. Augustin was kind of blurry.

“Were you saying in a roundabout way that we’re in a relationship?” Augustin asked.

“You want to go back to your regular life,” Tony offered instead.

Augustin gave his chin a little shake. “Not what I asked, was it? And FYI, even a one-off is a relationship, a sexual one. It may only last a few minutes—though wow, what a disappointment if it was over that quick—but whatever, it was still a sexual relationship. I suppose if someone paid for sex, that’d be a working relationship. Maybe. I’m not real clear on that one. The point is, there are a shitload of different kinds of relationships. We have an adversarial slash sexual one with shades of friendship thrown in. Don’t you think?”

“I hadn’t categorized it,” Tony said through a swell of relief. And at least Augustin hadn’t gotten all bent out of shape over his kind-of slip. He wanted to admit to more—to feelings and hopes that he knew were best kept secret. It wasn’t going to happen. Augustin had just defined what they had, what they were to each other, and his view was not reflective of Tony’s feelings.

“Well, if there’s anything you’d like to add to it?” Augustin raised an eyebrow and waited expectantly.

Tony didn’t have the nerve. He grunted and closed his eyes again. “Mates are supposed to be bound together, unless they feed off each other and the vampire turns his or her human mate into one of us. Then that bond is altered.”

“I remember. It’s like going from lovers to
bam
! Incest.”

“It is not,” Tony huffed. “Jesus.” He had to open his eyes again to glare at Augustin. “That’s messed up, man.”

Augustin shrugged. “That whole blood-swapping, vampire-turning bit is messed up. One second you’re lovers, the next you’re sire and offspring. Wait.” Augustin scowled. “Oh,
ew
! You and Clod—”

“It’s not like that!” Tony said a little more loudly than he’d intended. “It doesn’t instantly turn us into family members!”

“But you share the same blood,” Augustin said. “So the same DNA—”

Tony groaned. “No, no, no, no. Not going there, Augustin. Turning someone into a vampire doesn’t make them related to you any more than donating blood makes you family with whoever receives it. If you gave blood to a sibling, would that make you double related?”

“Fuck. You just had to use logic,” Augustin groused. “But I get it. So, back to mates. That bond is the same for all of them?”

Tony wondered why Augustin was asking such questions. “I guess, though if you ask, each pair will tell you their connection is unique.”

Augustin hummed, and looked thoughtful. Tony tried to brace himself for whatever the next round of questions held.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Augustin mused over what to say. Honestly, he wasn’t sure why he was asking about the whole mate thing. “Well, I don’t know. I’m trying to be nice and have a conversation when I really just want to jump on you and ride you until you scream.”

Tony puffed out his chest. “I don’t scream. That wouldn’t be very manly of me. I…roar.”

Augustin patted his chest. “Sure you do, honey. Just like a big ol’ pussy cat.”

“Hey, that’s—”

Someone knocked on the door.

Augustin rolled his eyes. “It’s just because they knew we were going to have sex.”

“Probably,” Tony grumbled. “Damn it. Who is it?” he hollered the question with more than a tinge of irritation in his voice.

“Claude.”

“Lovely.” Augustin got up and walked to the door. “I guess I have to let him in.”

“Not really. He can stand out there all night.”

“That’s very rude, Tony,” Claude called through the door. “And after I helped you out the other day, too.”

“Wow. Rude much, throwing that in your face?” Augustin opened the door. “Seriously, Clod, when you give, it’s supposed to be from your heart. Or in your case, your vein, and no lording it over the receiver.”

Claude arched one thin eyebrow. “You have a very unique way of looking at things, Gussy.”

“Gussy?” Augustin felt his blood pressure double. He shook his finger at Claude. “
Gussy?
I’ll—”

“If I’m to be Clod, you can be Gussy,” Claude said, easily batting aside Augustin’s hand.

“You’re going to be a greasy spot on the ground,” Augustin snarked. “Or ashes. I will fucking send you the way of the dodo bird.”

Claude looked as if he was fighting back a smile.

Augustin kept his glare in place. “No. Gussy. Asshole.”

“Chelsea uses it all the time,” Claude offered. “When you’re not around, that is.”

Augustin narrowed his eyes even more. “How long will it take Billie to die if I kill Chelsea? Wait. You can mate with her, so that solves that problem.”

Claude’s amusement turned to horror. “What? No, no, no. I couldn’t. I mean, theoretically, I could, but—no. The whole sex thing would be an issue for us both.”

“There’s got to be another female vampire Billie could be paired off with,” Augustin said.

“But she
loves
Chelsea, and Chelsea
loves her
in return,” Claude pointed out, and damn it all to hell, there went Augustin’s righteous indignation.

“Fine, I’ll leave her ass alive, for now. But believe me, I’ll be trying to plant seeds of dissent between those two so Chelsea can make nice for me and turn to ashes.” Augustin stepped back from the door. “So I guess you can come in.”

“How…kind,” Claude said as he entered the room. “You’ll be much happier with me, I think, in just a few moments.”

Augustin felt an uncomfortable itch crawl down his spine. “How do you figure that? I can’t imagine being happy with you in the first place, which, by the way, happier implies some measure of happy first, don’t you think?”

“No, I don’t.”

Claude was an ass, too.

Tony sat up fully, a wary look on his face. “What are you going to do that’s supposed to make Augustin happier?”

Claude gestured grandly, a wide sweep of his hand. “What is it that he wants? Why, to be allowed to return to his life. So I will send him home, of course.”

Instead of joy, Augustin felt numb. “Send me…”

“Home?” Tony’s voice had a weird hitch to it. “You’re letting him go?”

Claude nodded. “I can’t keep him here, despite what I thought when we first took him. Augustin isn’t anyone’s mate, and some of the other vampires are very displeased with that. There have been offers—”

“By who?” Tony demanded. “They can’t fucking have him!”

Augustin wanted to beam at that, but he settled for agreeing. Vehemently. “Yeah, they can’t fucking have him! Me, I mean me!”

“And yet you aren’t Tony’s mate, are you?” Claude asked.

Augustin scowled at him. “Excuse me? Is there a set law that says I have to be by a certain amount of time?” His heart raced and his brain screamed at him,
What the hell are you saying?

Claude asked, “What are you saying, Augustin?”

What was he saying? Augustin looked at Claude, then at Tony. There was a hurt look in his eyes, but Tony had on the worst fake smile ever.

“You can go home, Augustin,” Tony said.

Augustin went back to scowling. “That’s what you want?”

Tony opened his mouth, closed it. He huffed, then spoke, “It’s what you want. You tried to leave.”

Augustin rubbed his forehead. “I have family, and people who’ll worry. It isn’t… It isn’t—” The words clogged in his throat. “Simple,” he whispered, hurting in a way he’d never experienced before.

“Life rarely is.” Claude clapped his hands together. “Well then. Let’s find you some clothes. I’ll have you home in no time at all.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

“I can’t believe I didn’t even say goodbye,” Tony muttered.

“That is pretty pathetic,” Chelsea said. “And right in line with your personality.”

Tony flipped her off, not having the energy to really spar with her, verbally or physically.

“You could have asked him to stay, or worked out some type of arrangement.”

Tony looked over at Claude. “Why are you in my room, you traitor?”

Claude pressed a hand to his chest and rounded his eyes. “
Moi
? What have I done? Nothing but return your friend Augustin to his home. I had assumed you’d grown large enough testicles to—”

“For fuck’s sake, say balls,” Chelsea snapped.

“Tell the man you care for that you do not want to let him go,” Claude finished.

“He didn’t say anything either,” Tony argued. “Maybe all he wanted was to get home and forget about all this crazy crap. Especially you,” he said, pointing to Chelsea. “And why are
you
in my room?”

She smirked. “Cuz your misery brings me joy.”

Tony found the energy to dive at her. She didn’t quite dodge fast enough to avoid him.

Claude clapped his hands. “Children, children. Stop it.”

Tony kept grappling with Chelsea. The crazy vampire was trying to bite him.

“Chelsea, stop it,” Claude snapped. He took a deep breath then exhaled slowly. “Chelsea, I told you to stop.” In that one sentence, Tony heard the change in Claude’s voice. Claude was using his power of thrall, infusing it into his words, his voice. There was no escaping from it. Claude could make anyone do anything when he used that power.

Claude continued speaking. “You will go to your room, cry until you’re sobbing, then wipe your nose on Billie’s favorite shirt. You will forget I gave you such orders, and only remember crying because you lost your favorite pet when you were three.”

“That’s really mean,” Tony said a moment later, after Chelsea floated out.

Claude flapped a hand. “Not really. She put a roach in my coffin, while I was in there, of course. You know how much I hate roaches.”

“I’m surprised she’s alive.”

“I could have crushed her like I did the nasty insect, but…” He shrugged. “I did talk Billie into eating broccoli the day before, and you know what that does to her.”

Tony thought of how gassy—
smelly
gassy—that particular vegetable made Billie, and wrinkled his nose. “Okay, you might have crossed a line there.”

Claude shrugged slightly. “I must have some source of amusement before I turn to ash.”

“Stop saying that. You aren’t turning to ash.” It bothered Tony to hear Claude spouting such nonsense.

“Living gets exhausting.” Claude floated over and sat on the bed. “I thought you were a stronger man, Tony. I didn’t think you’d let someone go if you cared for them.”

“He wanted to go. He… He mentioned… I wanted him to have what
he
wanted,” Tony said, and it sounded lame to him now. “He didn’t want to stay.”

“You could have convinced him to. Not by any sort of deceit, but by being honest.”

Tony wondered if Claude was right.
Probably, the smug bastard.
“He has family and a job, friends.”