My Love Break (20 page)

My breath caught in my throat.

Damian drew me slowly against him. I felt the hard ridges of his body along with something I hadn’t touched, tasted, and worshipped for far too long.

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see my resolve crumble this quickly. Why was fate this cruel? I was so close to the object of my affection and yet, nothing could bridge the gap between us.

Not as long as he saw me as a whore in the filthiest, most insulting sense of the word.

Damian’s arms closed around me. His familiar scent entered with each of my shallow breaths.

“Risa, I want you to stay tonight.”

How easy would it be to just give in? Too easy.

Keeping myself stiff and held apart from Damian, even though his body touched me, I fisted my hands to keep myself from touching him. It would be all over for me if I did.

“I hate to disappoint you, but I have plans.”

“Cancel them.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

Damian’s arrogance shouldn’t have floored me but it did. He truly believed he could do whatever he wanted with me.

And you helped train him by always giving in.

“No.”

His arms tightened. I wondered what he’d do if I pulled away. Would he force me to him? Would he make it so I couldn’t get away?

The thought excited me obscenely.

Then he lowered his head and murmured in my ear, “You’ve punished me long enough, don’t you think?”

Oh, fuck me. Those were as close to love words for us as we could get. Sick, twisted love, but love nonetheless.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He tsked. “Lies, Risa? You are better than that.”

“I know I am better than being labeled a whore.”

Damian nuzzled my earlobe before kissing it. “I am sorry for that. I shouldn’t have called you that.”

I drew in a broken breath. The door distorted beneath my glassy gaze. This wasn’t my time to be weak. I was supposed to be strong, unrepentant. My words came out sharper as a result.

“Strange how you only find yourself apologizing when your stiff cock is pressed against my ass. Is it temporary amnesia? You know, the kind you lose after you get what you want?”

“You went right for the jugular, Risa.”

Shame unfurled like a barbed vine. I didn’t mean it as a careless swipe to what he’d been going through.

Damn! This isn’t the kind of bitch I want to be.

“I’m sorry. I forgot about your condition.”

“My condition. Polite.”

Damian’s palms skated down my thighs. I wished I’d buttoned up my coat. The heat of his touch went right through the thin material of my dress. They weren’t the actions of a man brought low by my unintentional insult.

“What are you doing, Damian?”

“No, ‘Sir’? I admit I’ve missed it all day.”

“You get plenty of it at work.”

“True. Not like yours though. So soft and sweet. Coming from you the word is like candy.”

“And also bad for your health. That about sums me up.”

I didn’t know I had it in me to spar like this. We never did this before. Probably because I’d always been so desperate to win Damian over. Through my distance, adoration, or independence.

I was such a stupid girl, wasn’t I?

My pride was recovering in leaps and bounds even though my heart was still a bloody bruise. I wouldn’t yield on this. No matter how much I was tempted to just let it go.

“I knew you were sweet. I didn’t know you were spicy too. I like it.”

No.

This wasn’t the Damian I knew then or knew now. Either side of him never tolerated me stepping out of line. It was just another one of the many unwanted differences I had to live with.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“I do mean it.” His fingers scratched lightly at my hips. “I mean every word, Risa.”

I stepped out of his hold. I didn’t dwell on the flare of disappointment I felt when he just let me go.

“You always do.”

“Not always. Especially not last night.”

I didn’t acknowledge his words. Waving a careless hand over my head, I said, “Goodnight, Mr. Black-Price. Your invitation is in your office. Perhaps you should consider bidding on the trip to the Maldives. I’m confident Ms. Smith would enjoy that. She’ll also need a new wardrobe. She’s so fair. You wouldn’t want her skin to burn. But what am I presuming? You always take care of those that belong to you, don’t you?”

“Risa.”

The clipped sound once would’ve meant a warning I’d ignore at my own expense. I wouldn’t heed any of them tonight. Not until…until what?

Until I make him pay for what he’s done to me.

I knew I was devoted. I didn’t know I was spiteful.

Nothing was going to keep me from leaving tonight. Not his growls, not his kisses, nothing. Damian Black-Price would see what a whore really was by the time all was said and done.

I knew exactly how to pick up a man. I could bat my eyes, flip my hair, and lick my lips with the best of them. I’d find myself against a wall, dick-deep, in minutes. Maybe once I was finished with one I’d then go out hunting for another.

How did I get here?

I was glad Damian couldn’t see the look on my face right now. I’d give up all my secrets if he could. A tiny voiced whispered to me just how out of control I was.

You don’t really want to do this.

No. I didn’t.

But I would because he wasn’t the man I remembered anymore. Damian couldn’t rein me back in and I wouldn’t stop. I wouldn’t stop until I replaced one pain with another.

“One last warning, Risa.”

Fuck. That.

I looked over my shoulder. The burning anger in his gaze belied the cold indifference of Damian’s expression. Thrilled and masochistic to the core, I taunted him.

“Really? What are you going to do? Fire me for leaving on my off-time? Go for it. But let me make this clear. I’m going out tonight and I don’t know when or
if
I’ll be back.”

Damian spun me around. His fingers bit painfully into my arm. “Repeat your threats. Go on, Risa. Push me.”

He was pissed. Good.

“You heard me.”

Damian considered me. Softly, he said, “You ignored me today. I didn’t like it.”

“Poor baby. I’m sure Ms. Smith can soothe you. In fact, you’re running late—you don’t have time to stick your nose in my business—”

“Stop talking.” Damian pulled me even closer, raising me up on my tiptoes. “You’re not going to ignore me about this. I promise you.”

DAMIAN

Risa looked at me as if I was mad.

I
was
mad, inflamed, enraged, and so damned turned on that I could barely keep myself from pushing Risa to the ground, tearing off that damned sexy dress, and fucking her until neither of us could move.

Her beauty enchanted me. Her defiance enslaved me.

The mesh of contradictions summoned the beast in me. It demanded I tame her.

She was mine to win.

Mine to keep.

Mine.

Risa’s dark, near-black gaze threatened to suck me dry and make me love her for it. Everything had gone wrong starting with last night. Risa froze me out. I should’ve been pleased by her sensible actions.

We were both adults who just happened to sink into weakness. We could ignore the entire episode as if it never happened.

As if I could forget how perfect she felt in my arms, on my lap, and against my mouth…

It was all I could think about today.

Every time I saw her in my office, hallway, or elevator, I remembered how close we came to throwing all restraint aside. I damned my rules a thousand times but I couldn’t forget the ultimate reason of why I did this.

I was saving Risa from herself and ultimately me.

Yet, that didn’t matter so much now.

I sensed her intent to replace me, even for a night. I’d die before I let Risa walk out of this door and give to others what belonged solely to me.

I didn’t care about my appointment with Gretchen. I didn’t care about the charity ball I was expected to be at tonight. I didn’t care about my flirtation with being a good man when it came to this woman.

If I had to I was going to lock myself inside my bedroom with Risa and never come out.

Danger swirled in the currents between us. My self-control frayed. I was too close to throwing all my promises and intentions aside. I could make her sweet again. I could make Risa want to please me just as much as I wanted to please her.

The pulse in Risa’s neck beat strongly. I knew I’d taste her sweet arousal if I leaned down to lick her.

“What are you doing here, Damian?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

She narrowed her eyes and then took a cleansing breath. Risa smiled widely. Although I’d seen it before, I suddenly hated that particular grin and everything it now symbolized.

“Look, I need to go. I have a car waiting for me.”

“Not anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I sent it away.” The words tasted like candy. They were so sweet. And bad for me. This felt good. It felt like control. How long before I crashed?

“You can’t do that.”

Satisfaction gave me a smug smile. “I already did.”

Risa shook her head. “No. You can’t just call me a whore and then act as if you have a right over me. That’s not how any of this works.”

“Then tell me.”

Risa twisted her arm, trying her damnedest to get away. I tightened my hold until she stopped. Risa then raised her hand up like she wanted to slap me.

I welcomed it.

Not because I’d ever hit her back. No, I’d welcome it because I wanted her to lose control. I needed her to do it. Anything other than this bloodless thing where she looked right through me.

Where she saw me as the man who disappointed her the most.

Risa dropped her free hand and snarled, “I won’t let you do this to me, Damian. I won’t let you pull me into your fucked-up world where you keep me only when it pleases you. I’m done being patient. You have me always or not at all.”

Habit dictated my response.

“You do not make the rules here, Risa. I do.”

Risa bit back whatever she would’ve said. She turned her face away but not before I saw the angry desire burning a march over her expression.

I knew the expression and what it meant because I’d felt it every day since I realized I couldn’t remember who this beautiful girl was to me.

I gentled my hold, letting my fingers stroke her soft skin. Her body trembled beneath my hand. She begged to be tamed. I heard the call.

“Risa, look at me.”

She wouldn’t. “Damian.”

I could barely hear her. I leaned down.

“What is it, little girl?” The endearment rolled off my tongue so easily again. I’d call her that a thousand times if it made her happy.

“I’m not a toy for you to put away whenever you get bored.”

“You never bore me.”

“But I
am
a toy to you.”

The thoughts that wreaked havoc in her brain had to be stopped.

“I’m a grown man, Risa. I don’t play with toys.”

There. That should satisfy her.

“Then what do you call this?” She reached out with a small hand. The heat from her touch swam into me. “Why am I here?”

“I need you to be available for the work I do.”

If I could hear the hollowness of that excuse then so could she.

“Don’t lie, Damian. Not to me.”

There it was again. Disappointment.

Things were running out of control. I had to correct the course.

“Risa, did you forget about dinner tonight? I have a chef on his way. Why don’t we play hookie tonight? I cancel my event and you cancel yours. We’ll make a quiet evening of it.”

“Just be honest with me. Please.”

I carefully took my hands off her, afraid that any faster would shatter Risa. I didn’t want her to pursue this. Not now.

Not until I pinned down exactly what happened to me and my father, and who exactly was responsible. Maybe not even then.

“I can’t.”

Risa frowned, obviously angry. “You won’t.”

“It is as I said, Risa. I can’t.”

Defeated, she removed her hand from my cheek. Risa stood there, looking up at me as if trying to memorize this moment.

Or maybe she was waiting for me to relent.

My instinct wanted to right this. Yet, what could I do? A lie would save her where a truth would damn us both.

“Then there’s nothing left to say, Damian.”

Words failed me. I didn’t know what this
was
but I knew what it
wasn’t
.

She wasn’t something to be broken and tossed away. Risa was the object of my fixation and affection. Both things were equally important to me.

I wasn’t going to lose her. Not like this. I wouldn’t be replaced. Not by her indifference nor by her assumptions.

“Tell me what else you want, little girl. Tell me and it’s yours.”

She flinched but then drew her shoulders back. “If you won’t keep me, if you won’t let yourself choose me, then you can’t have me.”

Unacceptable.

“And I say I can. You want it, Risa. You want
me
.” I raked her with my gaze. “The way you’re dressed tonight proves it.”

“I’m dressed to go out. Not to stay in with you.”

“You picked this out,” I skimmed my hand down her waist, “just to punish me.”

“And I say that it’s just a dress.”

My blood ran high when she refused to back down.

“If your intent is to anger me—you’re succeeding. If it’s to fool me into believing what you’re saying—you’re failing. Tell the truth and do not even think of lying to me, Risa. Is all this because I wouldn’t give in last night?”

I was unfair by demanding her truth when I wouldn’t give her mine. I didn’t give a damn though. I’d find her weak spot and push it until she submitted.

Risa’s mouth twisted into something sad. “Give in?”

“Yes. Give in. Something you’ll learn about me, Risa, is that I don’t give in.”

“I’m fairly aware of that, Mr. Black-Price.”

Disappointed, I released her. “Cut the formal bullshit. You don’t need to hide behind it.”

“Just as you don’t hide behind Gretchen.”

I couldn’t deny it.

Risa scored a hit and knew it. She edged close to me. I wanted to tug her closer. Almost as bad as I wanted to kiss her.

“Isn’t there something, anything, about us that speaks to you? Isn’t there some part of you that feels there’s more to us than this?”

Yes. Fuck yes.

I wasn’t tied to Gretchen. Not by anything more than past memories and current subterfuge. I could take the sweetness Risa offered me.

I could break my rules.

I could be different.

I could take a chance and keep Risa. She wouldn’t have to know about anything. She could just take me as Damian Black-Price. I could be her billionaire lover who spoiled her mercilessly.

It could be a good life.

Perfect in fact.