My Only Regret (Twisted Fate Book 1) (13 page)

“
That sounds really nice. Thank you.
”
 

“
Well, leave it all to me. I
’
ll even pick out a good movie.
”
He smiled and turned to follow the guys back downstairs, pausing at the top step. He looked as if he was about to say something else, but instead he just cocked his head and showed me both dimples. “Meet you back here tonight?”
 

“I’ll be here.” I forced a smile, praying like hell that I wouldn't regret this in the morning.

D
inner turned out to be a delicious assortment that Jesse had ordered in from a local Mexican restaurant. We loaded our plates with Carnitas, and grabbed a few Corona
’
s, before heading to the den. Jesse had a state of the art entertainment system and the surround sound made you feel as if you were inside a theater. I curled up on one end of the sofa and watched as he got the movie ready before he sat down at the other end.

“
What are we watching?
”

He turned the case over and looked at the cover. “
The Notebook.
”

“
Cool, Ryan Gosling, that
’
s a good one. He’s really hot.
”
I smiled, wondering if he had any idea what he was in for. He just rolled his eyes and settled in. About an hour into the movie he was groaning loudly, and writhing on the floor dramatically. I couldn
’
t help but laugh at his reaction.
“
I’m surprised you lasted this long.
”
I said, between laughing and wiping the tears from my eyes.

“
Can we please watch something else? I seriously can’t take anymore.
”
He groaned as if he were in agony.

“
Yes, whatever you want is fine with me.
” I replied, curling back under the blanket before
catching myself.
“
Except porn! No porn, Jesse!
”

“
Aw come on, are you sure?
”
He teased, holding up a few XXX rated box covers. “I’ve got a few really good--” I cut him off by throwing a pillow at his head. Ten minutes later, we were watching a scary movie, and as it dragged on I found myself scooting closer and closer to his end because I was convinced that something was definitely going to grab me if I remained at the opposite end by myself. He gave me a sideways glance and chuckled softly.

“Aww, a
re you scared? Come here.
”
He held out an arm for me to join him. I scooted down and he pulled me into the crook of his arm. That felt much better, and a lot less scary. I leaned my head on his chest and continued watching. Before long, he was trailing a finger lightly up and down my arm, and every now and then he would run his hand through my hair and sigh. Memories of our latest fight seemed to fade away with every touch, and I happily let go.

That’s what was so funny about our relationship; we would fight and make up like nothing had ever happened. We were so comfortable with one another, and being here in his arms should have left me questioning what was truly taking place between us, but in reality I was just happy to be with him. I’d take him any way I could get him. Taking time to analyze the damage it may inflict only meant that it was probably wrong to begin with, and that was something I wasn’t ready to face.

“
You have beautiful hair.
”
He said, stroking it gently with his fingers.

“
Mmm, thank you. That feels really nice.
” I rocked my head back and forth, slowly leaning into his touch.
I was finding it harder and harder to keep my eyes open. I felt his arm tighten around me and I made a contented sound.
 

“
Rhyann?
”
He whispered, softly.

“
Hmm?
”
I responded lazily, thoroughly enjoying the tune he was playing out with his fingers along my arm. He pulled back gently and placed a finger beneath my chin, lifting my face to his. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine, gently at first, but it quickly turned serious, like our previous kisses. Our tongues danced around one another, and the deeper the kiss went I found myself wondering how I was even breathing. He shifted on the sofa, pinning me beneath his hard body, while continuing to gently nibble and suck on my lips. The noises coming from our mouths were hot and sensual, and I felt a warm sensation spread throughout the lower half of my body. There was absolutely no denying I wanted this man. I wanted him with every fiber of my being.

“God, I want you.” He rasped, as if reading my mind. His breath was hot against my throat as he planted small kisses over it. The moaning sounds I made must have encouraged him to go further, and I felt his hand slip under my shirt, moving along the curve of my waist. I felt his fingertips caress just below my right breast, and he began to slowly rub his body against mine. Instinctively, I slid my hand between us and brushed my knuckles over his arousal. I could feel the fullness of him through the thin yoga pants I was wearing. It all felt completely right, and way too familiar.
 

“Rhyann, what are you doing to me? I've never--" he started, with his head dipped down and his voice laced with an intensity I'd never heard from him. "You are so beautiful.” He moaned against my lips. I bared my teeth and gently bit down on his lower lip. His hand covered my right breast and I groaned as his thumb stroked the tender flesh barely covered by my bra. Then, the reality of what we were doing sank in. I pulled back, panting, and pressed my palms against the unrelenting steel of his chest.

“
Jesse, we shouldn't do this.
” I took long, deep breaths, trying to calm myself.

"Fuck.
”
He groaned as he reluctantly lifted himself off me. We both sat up, the movie was still running and I could hear a woman screaming in the background, and for a moment neither of us said anything.
“
I
’
m sorry, Rhyann, but I'm having a hard time staying away from you. I can’t help it. I wake up every day knowing you are down the hall, lying in your bed, alone and probably wearing next to nothing. I already know how you taste, and I can’t bring myself to stop craving you.” He dragged a hand across his mouth and blew out a sharp breath before pulling me onto his lap, bringing his lips to mine for one more kiss. My legs straddled his and without thinking I pressed my pelvis into his massive erection. He felt so good against me, and I moaned into his mouth. My lips instinctively parted, allowing his tongue to gently flick against my own. Over and over they swirled together in complete unison. When our lips were together, everything felt right. There was no denying our mouths were made for one another. The way I pressed against his body, with his arms surrounding me, we were a perfect fit. For a moment, I allowed myself to get lost in the feel of his warm lips against mine, his hands moving up and down my body. I wanted him so badly, and it took all the resolve I had to resist the urge to give in. I knew in my heart he couldn't offer me what I wanted. I needed stability and commitment, and that wasn't the way he operated. I assumed that I was just another conquest, and he wanted to prove to himself that he could catch me again. I moved my hand between us and pressed against his firm chest, attempting to break the seal. When we broke apart we were breathless, once again.

I lifted my eyes to meet his and the sadness I found surprised me. Maybe he knew what my response was going to be before I even gave it. It wouldn't surprise me, we'd learned more about one another in the short time we had been together than most couples take a lifetime to discover. The problem with us as a couple had nothing to do with incompatibility or lack of desire, and everything to do with his inability to give himself to only one woman.
 

“I’m sorry, but I've learned the hard way that I'm not good at Rule #3, and you’re not capable of offering more.” I whispered. His grip on me tightened and I felt his body tremble.

He let out an anguished groan and hung his head in his hands. “
I’m so sorry, baby.
” I found it interesting that he'd used that endearment with me on a regular basis since I'd started working for him. I also found it interesting that I'd never once asked him to stop. He kissed the top of my head and left me sitting on the sofa while the movie credits played on the large screen behind me.

I didn't see him the next day, but I didn't complain. It was probably for the best. We both needed some time to cool off and try to make sense of what was taking place between us.
 

A
lex called two days later and invited me to go to the movies with him. Naturally, I said yes. We'd already been out on two dates, both times he'd taken me out for ice cream on the pier. We were taking our time, becoming comfortable with each other's likes and dislikes. I wanted to get to know him, and give him a chance to grow on me. I needed something to help me break away from the unhealthy pattern I had going on within this house. The sexual tension was thick. I knew we were playing with fire the other night, but that didn’t stop either of us from risking everything we’d worked so hard to build.
 

It was obvious to me what was going on, Jesse felt threatened by Alex. Given our history, I could understand why he would be curious, but he’d had plenty of women in the house since I’d come to work for him. I never once made a scene until the night I’d stolen his car.

Jesse appeared to be in a good mood when I met up with him later that afternoon. We went over his calendar and I briefed him on the interview questions that were sent over for the video chat he was doing this weekend. Neither of us mentioned what had happened earlier in the week, we had gotten pretty good at avoiding the elephant in the room.

“You want to grab a bite to eat at our favorite Chinese place?” He asked, as we wrapped up the mock interview.

I made a face and apologized. “Sorry, I have plans tonight. Maybe another night?”

“Oh, that's okay, don’t worry about it. I’ll call David. So, are you doing anything special?”

I closed my laptop and took off my reading glasses. “Alex is taking me to the movies.”

“That’s nice. Is he coming to pick you up?” He asked, casually, as he pretended to look through a stack of music sheets.

“Yes, as a matter of fact he is. He’ll be here at seven.”

“Well, sorry I won’t be able to meet him, maybe next time. Hope you two have a nice life.” He stood and walked to the kitchen with me hot on his heels.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Have a nice life?” I demanded, grabbing him by the crook of his arm.

“What? I never said that. Night. I said have a nice night.” He looked down at my hand on his arm and smiled through clenched teeth.

“No you didn’t. You said life, and I think it's because you’re jealous that he might be able to offer me something that you can’t.”
 

“Yeah, what’s that?” He hardened his eyes at me and I stared him down.

“A relationship.” I replied, flatly, catching the slight flinch his body made at my response.

“Think what you like, Rhyann. I’ll see you later.” He jerked his arm from my grasp and I watched him walk away, knowing it was pointless to try and argue with someone that couldn’t even admit their true feelings. Sure, he had told me that he wanted me, he'd even told me that he couldn't stop thinking about me. What he hadn't told me was that I was the only one he thought about, and those were the words I longed to hear coming from his lips.

J
esse ended up being at home, despite his previous declaration. When Alex came to the door I dashed quickly to answer it, praying that Jesse would stay upstairs and not turn this into a pissing match. I threw open the door and was immediately greeted with a warm smile. It was a nice change of pace from the tension that had been present after our argument. Jesse had stomped around all afternoon, avoiding all contact with me. To keep myself from wringing his neck, I’d stayed in my room and got caught up on my reading.

“Hey, look at you.” Alex gave me a soft kiss then held me at arms length. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” I blushed and thanked him.
 

“Ready?” I smiled, inching my way to the door. I heard Jesse’s door open and caught a glimpse of him over my shoulder as I turned to leave. He was standing at the top of the stairs, leaning over the bannister. His eyes cut into me, as if somehow willing me to change my mind. I turned away and closed the door behind me. I heard a loud bang and could only assume that he’d slammed his door shut.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

T
he movie he took me to see was a comedy, and I could honestly say it was nice to be with someone who didn't know me in the same way that Jesse knew me. With Jesse, there were no secrets, he already knew me intimately, and we talked about everything. Alex seemed to be perfectly content with taking things slow. He was easy going, and when we were together he made a point of making me feel as if I was the only woman in the room. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me, asking me a ton of questions on the way to the movie, and during the previews. At one point he reached his hand over and laced it with mine, and that simple gesture felt really sweet, though there weren't any sparks.

After the movie we weren't quite ready to call it a night, so we decided to stop by Theo's to have a drink and listen to the live music they offered every night. We walked in and were immediately pushed back by the large crowd gathered in front of the door.

"Is it always this crowded?" Alex asked, placing an arm protectively around my waist and breaking through the crowd like a line backer.

"Yeah, it usually is, especially on a Thursday night." I took the seat he offered, before he sat down in the chair next to me.

"What's special about Thursday?" He asked, ordering two beers when the waitress came by.

"It's open mic night. We have a lot of talent in Seattle. Theo's is a great place to get recognized since a lot of famous acts have performed here over the years. A lot of them still stop by and surprise the crowd." He reached a hand across the table and gave mine a gentle squeeze.