Necessary Heartbreak (38 page)

“Oh, every day is an adventure for me now.”

From across the street, Elizabeth grinned broadly and waved. When Michael and Mr. Szymanski had safely crossed, the old man cheered, “Woo-hoo!”

Michael and Elizabeth laughed. “Elizabeth, this is Mr. Szymanski. Can you please take this,” he said, handing her the bag.

“Sure.”

“Which way are you going, sir?”

“Not sure. Just taking my time and enjoying the day.”

Michael thought a moment. “Would you like to join us?”

“That all depends. Where are you going?”

“Yeah, Dad,” Elizabeth chimed in, “where are we going?”

“Baboo, I'm taking you and Mr. Szymanski for the biggest, baddest ice cream sundae you can get!”

“Ooh!” she squealed in delight. “I can see the shop!” She ran ahead down the street and in through the parlor doors.

Michael rolled his eyes. “There she goes again.”

Mr. Szymanski chuckled. “They all do that. Always in a hurry.”

“Well, we'll take our time.” Slowly they walked down Main Street. The track for the cable car was still visible in the middle of the road, a vestige of bygone days. Michael took in the beautiful architecture of the quaint, old town. “This is nothing like Jerusalem,” he muttered. “But it's just as beautiful.”

“What's that, Michael?”

“Ah, nothing. Maybe someday I'll explain it.”

Michael could see Elizabeth seated on one of the stools at the front counter when they walked in. The shop was painted in shades of white and pink, with candy displayed at the entrance. Booths lined the walls and an old jukebox played in the back.

This is perfect
, he thought.

“Hey, Dad,” Elizabeth whispered, smiling surreptitiously, pointing to the woman behind the counter.
“No ring.”

Michael looked down at his left hand. He felt a momentary sense of panic and loss as he remembered, then pushed the feelings aside. They were home. His daughter was safe. It was all that mattered.

“I've already ordered, Dad.” Elizabeth twirled around twice on her stool, underscoring her statement.

“Okay.” He sat down next to her and took an experimental spin himself. Michael looked at his beaming daughter.
I can't believe I didn't do this sooner
.

“Are you going to share with your father?” he asked, needling her.

“Aw, do I have to?”

Michael laughed. “You can do whatever makes you happy. What would you like, Mr. Szymanski?”

The old man thought a moment. “You got enough money in your wallet for a banana split?”

Instinctively Michael put his hand in his pocket, then drew it out again quickly. “Elizabeth, look at this!” he exclaimed, holding out his palm. There were the silver coins he had taken from Judas. He was still gazing at them in wonder when the woman behind the counter turned around to greet them.

“Your daughter said you had never been here before. I'm so happy you found us.”

Michael smiled as he looked up into the most beautiful green eyes he had ever seen.

On a warm May night in 2007, a couple of decades of indecision ended. I arose with purpose, filled with ideas on how to finally complete my novel, which had gathered dusty bytes on my computer for far too long. I had never been so excited about the concept of writing. I shook my normally hard-to-wake wife, Debbie, out of her sleep and shared my thoughts. When she got excited about the plot, I knew then I had something special.

Based upon some emotional childhood experiences, I had been pondering two questions: If we had an opportunity to cleanse our sins, how would we go about achieving that, and whom would we seek to help us?

As I began to work on the first draft, the creative process became therapeutic. It gave me an opportunity to understand why my body and mind were experiencing certain emotions as an adult and how the joys and pains of childhood transformed me into the person I am today.

When you write, it's rarely an absolutely joyful experience. But from the first word I wrote in my notebook to the last correction made on the proofs,
Necessary Heartbreak
enabled me to believe in the goodness of the human character.

I do believe there are people walking the earth who step into your lives for reasons. Many have done so along the way to help push me along in this project.

After the first draft was written, I sought out an editor to sit down and work with me paragraph by paragraph. While the concept and general ideas were already down on paper, I needed to shape this book
with more details, dialogue, and tension. I searched for someone locally who could work with me, but I hit a dead end. I was fortunate to have a friend like Dee Karl, who badgered me to get off my backside and use
Monster.com
.

Although I received over thirty responses from my
Monster.com
experience, I interviewed only one person. I didn't need to see anyone else after meeting Jenn Kujawski.

Jenn was a significant influence during the self-publishing process. She helped move this book in a direction I could feel proud of, spending many hours sharpening my creative skills and offering several suggestions that are part of this book today.

I was fortunate enough to sign with my book/movie agent, Irene Webb. With her enthusiastic support, I was able to revise the original manuscript into a more developed story.

While on a vacation trip to Orlando, I was contacted by Simon & Schuster VP Anthony Ziccardi, who expressed an interest in publishing a revised edition. He was the perfect fit for me and this trilogy, and I'm grateful for his support.

Anthony placed me in the very capable editing hands of Mitchell Ivers, who steered me in new directions, and I welcomed his suggestions on how to give the story more depth. I consider myself quite lucky to have him as my editor.

During the year it took to write, re-write, revise, and re-write the book, my wife has had to endure my many moods. Sometimes she had to take the kids out of the house for weekends so I could focus. Often we would sit side by side for hours, going over each line and paragraph. She was a big part of helping move this project forward, and I'm grateful for her ideas and support.

Last, I must acknowledge the many book clubs, reviewers, librarians, readers, friends, clergy, ministers, pastors, and nuns whom I've corresponded with via email or phone, or met in person. Each and every one of you is a part of helping me forge this first book of the trilogy into what it is today—a story printed by one of the world's top publishing houses. Your support and kindness will never be forgotten.

READING GROUP GUIDE

NECESSARY HEARTBREAK

INTRODUCTION

Necessary Heartbreak
tells the story of Michael, a single dad from New York who has lost his faith after his wife's death and is struggling to raise his feisty fourteen-year-old daughter, Elizabeth. When Michael and Elizabeth stumble upon a trapdoor in their church basement, they discover a portal leading back to first-century Jerusalem during the tumultuous last week of Christ's life. There they encounter Leah, a grieving widow; a menacing soldier who is determined to take Elizabeth as his own; Judas on the last night of his life; and a close-up of the man Jesus. Unable to return to the present, Michael comes face-to-face with some of his most limiting beliefs and realizes he must open himself up to the possibility of a deeper faith in people, in himself, and in love if he is to find his way home.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Compare Michael and Elizabeth's relationship with Michael's relationship with his own father. How are their power struggles and communication difficulties similar and different?

2. Discuss Michael's relationship with religion. What changed his once-strong faith? How is his belief in God different at the end of the novel? How do Elizabeth's and Leah's faith change throughout the novel?

3. Is Michael too overprotective, or just a concerned parent? Does Michael use his fear for Elizabeth to hold himself back from life? Why does he push people away?

4. Why does Michael consistently avoid women and feel almost uncomfortable with them? What is he afraid of? Why does he have so much trouble letting go of Vicki and moving on, going so far as to search for her in Jerusalem?

5. Talk about the different ways Michael and Elizabeth deal with losing Vicki. Throughout the story, they hide their emotions from each other. Why can't they talk about her with each other? Why do they each blame themselves for her death, when clearly it's neither one's fault?

6. How did the narrative format of the novel, incorporating flashbacks throughout, impact your read?

7. Why does Leah take Michael and Elizabeth in so easily? How are they able to accept life together so quickly? What do they learn from each other? What do Michael and Leah see in each other of their missing spouses?

8. Leah and Michael discuss having a “reverence for life,” in both Leah's time and Michael's. Michael admits that not much has changed. Reread the passage on pages 157–158 and talk about how the two cultures respect life.

9. Discuss the difference between “kill” and “sacrifice.” Why does Leah ultimately decide not to sacrifice Cassie? What does Elizabeth learn from Cassie? Discuss Cassie's significance to the story and what she symbolizes.

10. What does Michael make Leah believe?

11. How is the second time Michael denies Christ different from the first?

12. Why do Michael and Elizabeth keep finding excuses to stay in Jerusalem one more day? Is it because they're drawn to Jesus or do you see another reason?

13. Why are Michael and Elizabeth so intent on helping Jesus even though they know how the scene will play out? Why must Michael shoulder his burden? How can Elizabeth lift Michael's burden?

14. How does Leah break through Michael's façade? Why doesn't he ask her to come home with them? Did you like the ending of the book? Why or why not?

15. How does heartbreak shape each character? Do you agree with the title, that heartbreak is sometimes necessary?

ENHANCE YOUR BOOK CLUB

1. When Michael is a teen, he repeatedly listens to Bruce Springsteen's album
The River
and relates especially to the song “Independence Day.” Listen to that song or just look up the lyrics. Is there a song in your own life that has particularly resonated with you or helped you through a difficult situation? Share with your book club.

2. Leah shares a Passover feast with Michael and Liz. Research the history of Passover and try making some dishes for your own feast, such as charoset and matzos.

3. Read the story of Jesus' crucifixion in the New Testament of the Bible. How do the descriptions in
Necessary Heartbreak
change your impressions of those events?

AUTHOR Q&A

1.
What inspired you to write this story, mixing time travel with ancient times and customs?
I grew up with a romantic, idealistic view of the church. Over the course of many years, this view eroded, especially during the winter of 1983–84. I was without money and a roof over my head, riding the E train in New York City at night. I sought help from
many, including a family friend who helped run a church. He turned me back into the cold New Year's Eve night in 1983. As I sat on the train pondering, I started to write this novel, drawing on some of the key childhood experiences that still touch my soul today. And I wondered whether this was the church I wanted to be part of in the future. I found myself questioning the wrong person—Jesus Christ. So I wanted to send my characters back in time to restore the meaning of life to myself. I wanted my characters to be part of history's most important moment. I wanted them to experience what the true meanings of love, faith, and sacrifice really are.

2.
Tell us about your research on Roman and Biblical times. How much is real and how much is enhanced by your imagination?
I tried to stay faithful to the actual events, but I wanted to look at those events from the perspectives of the characters. My first editor, Jenn Kujawski, was instrumental in the research. We dedicated many weeks, even months, to this particular part of the process. The great benefit of this experience was that I learned so much about Jesus Christ, the person.