Never Say Never (24 page)

“Hi,” I say, and she startles. “Claire, right?”

“Yeah,” she says, running her eyes over me and raising an eyebrow. I cast my eyes downward and realize I’m speckled with blood from taking care of the gelding’s wounds. Her lips tighten into a smile. “And you’re Haley.”

“Yep, that’s me.”

“Where is Aiden?”

“He’s upstairs, still sleeping. Well, I assume so. I’ve been in the barn for a while. You can come in and see him if you want,” I say, because Claire is looking at me like I’m a super-fan who has Aiden tied up in my bed against his will. “Just let me get the dog so she doesn’t bark and wake him up.”

She nods and follows me in. I open the door and grab Chrissy’s collar. “She’s very friendly,” I say as I step inside. Claire comes in, holding out her hand to Chrissy.

“Aww, I had a border collie when I was a kid,” she says, and the air between us changes instantly. “She looks just like her.” She sets the bag and her purse down and gets on her knees to pet Chrissy. “You’re making me homesick, sweetheart.” Chrissy licks her face.

“Sorry,” I say as I pull her back. “She just loves everyone.”

“It’s okay,” Claire says, wiping her face. “I miss having a dog.”

“You can’t now?”

She sighs and stands up. “It’s hard when I travel a lot.”

Oh, right. She goes wherever Aiden goes. I wonder how much he pays her. With everything she does, it should be a lot. Why would anyone want to be a celebrity’s personal assistant? Other than what I’ve seen in
The Devil Wears Prada
three times, I have no idea what PAs actually do.

“I don’t hear him, so I’m assuming he’s still asleep,” I tell Claire as I walk through the mudroom and into the kitchen. We quietly go up the stairs. I crack my bedroom door open, using my foot to hold Chrissy back. Aiden is on his back with the covers kicked off and wrapped around his feet. He’s a little wheezy as he breathes, but he’s still sleeping.

We step back and I close the door. “He didn’t take anything?” she asks as we go back down the stairs.

“No, was he supposed to?”

“Oh no, just wondering,” she says quickly. “He doesn’t sleep in without—I mean, he doesn’t sleep in that often.”

“Oh, uh, well, I don’t plan on waking him up. And if he wants to stay, I’m going to force him to watch movies and rest.”

Claire smiles. “That’ll be good for him.” We reach the bottom of the stairs and she turns, looking at the blood on my shirt once more. “What were you doing out there?”

“I got a new rescue,” I say, careful not to mention Aiden. “One of his legs was wrapped tightly in barbed wire, and we had to cut his skin to get it out.”

She shudders. “Oh, poor thing. I’ll let you get back to it. If you two do go out, tell Aiden to call Frank to escort you. All of Aiden’s medicine is in a little black zipper pouch in his bag. Make sure he takes it, please?”

“I will,” I tell her and walk her out. I go back to the barn and see Dr. Wells stitching up what she can on the gelding’s leg. A half hour later, she’s packing up to go and says not to worry about the bill just yet. It’s a nice gesture, but I know what that means: it’s going to be fucking expensive.

A knot forms in my stomach, and I hate thinking that I shouldn’t have taken him in. Mom would never turn away a horse. She’d find a way to make it work. I sigh and finish my barn chores. Maybe I can write freelance articles or start giving riding lessons again. I have expensive show tack that I doubt I’ll use anytime soon. If I sold it close to what I paid for it, I might be able to cover the cost of today’s barn call.

“Don’t worry, guys,” I whisper to Phoenix and the gelding. “I’m not giving up on you.”

I click my phone into the speakers and flip through my iTunes. I’ve been listening to a lot of slow, sad music lately since it fits my mood. But today, I go for something a bit more lively. I keep the volume low so as to not disturb Aiden, who is still upstairs sleeping, and start unloading the dishwasher. Once I get the kitchen clean, I know I should move on to the rest of the house. I haven’t swept or dusted in way too long, and clumps of black Chrissy fur have built up around the molding. The house is in need of a good deep cleaning.

All I want to do is take a shower and collapse into bed with Aiden. I sigh. That will have to wait. I bend over to pull a spoon out from the middle of the dishwasher that fell out and got stuck on the drain. Hands land on either side of my ass.

I straighten up, smiling as I turn. Aiden’s lips curve up and his arms slide around me. I set the spoon down and hook my hands around his shoulders. He’s wearing boxers and nothing else. I step in, feeling the warmth of his skin.

“How are you feeling?” I ask.

He holds me tight against him. “A little better, actually. I haven’t slept that long and uninterrupted in God knows how long.”

He leans over, resting his forehead against mine. “Then you really are sick,” I say. “You still feel a little feverish too.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s what helped me sleep.”

“What was it, then?”

“You.”

“I’m so boring I made you fall asleep?”

He laughs softly. “The biggest bore.” His lips brush against mine and I shiver. “Really, it’s quite the opposite. I feel so…I don’t know…comfortable around you.” He turns his head. “I can’t explain it. Being with you just feels right…if that makes sense.”

I close my eyes and shove my heart back into my chest. “It does, because I feel the same way.” We stay wrapped in each other’s arms for a few seconds before Aiden starts coughing. “Sit,” I tell him. “I’ll get you something to eat.”

With a sigh, he breaks away and sits at the table. It’s after eleven, and he still looks tired. The housework can wait. Today I’m taking care of Aiden.

“Claire brought you clothes and your medicine,” I say, and I heat up two cinnamon rolls. I fill the teakettle with water and flick on the burner. “Want me to get the medicine for you?” I ask.

“Sure,” he says as he leans back. The black duffle bag is on the table across from him. I unzip it and root through the clothes. She packed him a lot—way more than he’d need for the rest of today. I can’t help but hope he stays with me again tonight. I find the bag of pills and put it on the table, taking a seat as I open it.

There are at least half a dozen pill bottles. I pause, staring into the bag. There are several painkillers—all narcotics, I should add—a half-full bottle of Xanax, a full bottle of Ambien, another one of Adderall, and another bottle that’s unmarked. I swallow the lump rising in my throat. His name isn’t on all the prescription bottles either.

“Why do you have so many pills?” I ask, the question rolling off my tongue before I can stop myself. I already know the answer.

I set the bottle of antibiotics on the table and look at Aiden. He shrugs, not making eye contact. “I just like to be prepared,” he says.

I grind my teeth, concerned. “Some of these shouldn’t be taken together. You know that, right?”

He raises an eyebrow incredulously. “I didn’t know journalists were qualified to give medical advice. In fact, they aren’t, so keep your comments to yourself.” His tone is dry, and he glares at me.

My eyes widen at the way he’s talking to me. “I took two semesters of pharmacology,” I retort. “And that’s not medical advice. It’s common sense.”

He lets out a breath. “Sorry, Haley. I just…”

I open the bottle of antibiotics after reading the directions and fish one out. I slide it across the table to Aiden. “It’s okay,” I say softly. “You should eat before you take this. It says to, anyway.” I get up and busy myself with making tea for him.

“How’s the horse?” he asks before taking a sip of tea. “Did the vet come yet?”

The air shifts and things feel okay between us again. “Yeah, she just left a little bit ago, actually. And I think he’s gonna pull through. I can tell he wants to.”

I get us both cinnamon rolls and sit next to Aiden. “That’s good. I was honestly a little worried I’d wake up and you’d tell me he didn’t make it.”

“I always worry when I go out in the barn. A lot of times Mom or I would stay with a new rescue the first night. Not only to watch them, but to make them feel comfortable.” I sigh, pain twinging inside me. He reaches for my hand.

“You’re doing good,” he whispers. “Really.”

“Thanks,” I say, not believing him. “It’s a lot to get used to, right?”

He nods. “And a lot of responsibility that you take on by yourself now. I know I told you before, but you impress me. I want to help you, Haley. Really, just tell me what I can do and I’ll do it. There’s something special about you, and I want to make you happy, I want to see you smile. I’ve never wanted to do that for anyone else. I know we haven’t been together that long, but I care about you a lot, Haley.”

His words are like wind, blowing and stirring the broken pieces of my heart. They get caught on the breeze and precariously settle into place. The cracks are still there, mapping out lines of pain and reminding me how fragile I really am. “Aiden…” I start, looking into his eyes. “I…I…I don’t know what to say.”

He laughs. “Telling me you feel the same is a good start.”

I smile and nod. “Okay, I can do that. And I do. Really. It freaks me out how much I like you, honestly.”

“Why?” he asks, dark eyes narrowing just a bit. Did I offend him?

I bite my lip and shake my head. “I don’t know.” I take in a breath, knowing I’m ruining another perfect moment between us. I hate myself for it. “It just kind of scares me.”

His lips pull down and he squeezes my hand again. “Well, it doesn’t has to.”

“I’m trying,” I whisper.

He leans closer. “Don’t try, Haley. I don’t want you to try to like me. I want you to like me because
not
liking me is too hard to do.”

I smile. “You’re making that part easy.”

“Good.”

He holds my gaze for a beat then turns his head to cough. I get up and grab the thermometer. I lift his hair back and press the probe on the skin behind his ear.

“Ninety-eight,” I say. “No more fever.”

He lets out a breath. “Good. I hate being sick. It’s a fucking waste of time.”

“It is,” I agree. “If you spend today resting, you might feel better tomorrow.”

“I hope so. I want to go riding with you.” I try to keep my face neutral, but he sees. “Haley,” he starts, turning around in the chair and landing his hands on my waist. “I don’t think the issue is riding with me, but just riding in general, right?”

I wrap my arms around his shoulders. “I haven’t ridden since…since my mom died.”

“I’m sorry,” he says softly and pulls me into his lap.

“I want to ride, but every time I get my saddle out, I can’t. It’s too much effort, or I don’t have the time, or I just don’t have the energy.”

“Sometimes you have to make the time for the things you love.” He runs his hands through my hair. “You have to take care of yourself, Haley.”

“I know,” I whisper as I hold on to him. “I love riding too. I miss it.”

“Then you need to do it.” He cups my face and kisses me. I close my eyes. Aiden was all wrong. I’m not trying to like him; I’m trying not to.

“I will.” I run my hands through his hair. “But right now, I need to shower. Join me?”

“I guess I can do that,” he says with a smirk and stands with me in his arms.

“Put me down,” I say. “I’m heavy and you’re sick.”

He shakes his head. “Shut up, Haley.” He presses me against the wall, letting my legs drop so I can wrap them around his waist. “Stop being so hard on yourself.”

I just nod, my mouth finding his. He pushes his tongue past my lips, grinding his hips into mine. Warmth rushes between my legs, and I feel him growing hard, his erection pressed against my core. It turns me on to know he wants me.

He moves his mouth to my neck, sucking at my skin. Everything fades, and all I want is Aiden. I slide down the wall and take his hand, practically yanking him along. He follows me up the stairs. As soon as my feet hit the landing, he’s kissing me again. I’m tangled in his arms, and we stumble across the hall.

I push the bedroom door open and we tumble onto the bed. Aiden moves on top of me. I open my legs and urge him between. He dives back down, kissing me so hard it almost hurts, and the pain is the best thing right now. I want him. I need him.

He unbuttons my jeans and pulls them off in a swift movement. I sit up and pull my shirt over my head, throwing it onto the floor. He’s on me again, and the tip of his dick is sticking out from the waist of his boxers. I lick my lips and look at it, my breath catching in my chest. Aiden sees me staring and flashes a grin.

Then he’s on me again, his lips locked with mine. He reaches behind me and unhooks my bra, tossing it aside once it’s off. His lips touch my neck and shivers run through me, sending tingles of desire to my core. He presses the palm of his hand over my breast, rubbing my nipple. I moan and push his boxers down over his tight ass.

He kicks them off and trails kisses down my neck, over my collarbone, and onto my breasts. He takes one in his mouth, flicking my nipple with his tongue. More pulses of desire run through me, electrifying my body in the best way possible. His fingers sweep across my stomach and between my legs, over my panties. He rubs me, teasing. His touch is tantalizing, amazing, and I can probably come like this if he doesn’t stop. But the material is in the way, adding a desperate frustration.